I want to use a dildo

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by HappilyLockedMan, Sep 1, 2019.

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  1. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    My wife has a fairly low sex drive. Every two weeks or so she'll say "Take a pill and take your cage off." Of course, I do and usually we wind up having PIV sex ...because she wants to. I'd be okay with not entering her, with satisfying her with my mouth and hands, but she usually wants me to come inside.

    Sometimes I tell myself I won't cum; I'll use my will power to pull out before I cum. My wife is fine with my cumming; it's my idea. Who do I think I'm kidding? Once I'm in her I cum in nothing flat. It feels great, at that moment, but I sure miss the build up. It takes me a long time to build up my sexual tension and I miss it when it's gone.

    I'm excited by the thought of introducing a dildo into our relationship. I'm attracted to the idea of making love to her with the dildo while I'm still caged.

    But I don't think she'll go for it. I'm going to suggest it but she likes my cock and I doubt she'll even say "Let's give it a try"

    But I'll ask her and see how it goes. I'd welcome any suggestions.
     
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  2. SSBITCH
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    I bought a very realistic dildo for my wife. Its larger than me.

    Be warned! If she is anything like my wife, anytime she wants PIV, you WILL be caged using that dildo on her. You can’t un-ring that bell.
     
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  3. QueenOfSwords
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    Hmmmm.... the dildo thing is really not a substitute at all for a real cock, when it comes to women who love a warm, throbbing cock. (If she is really dominant she might prefer you in a strapon while caged but my intuition tells me that's not the case here). Some women do prefer toys, but from how you've described her, she likes cock and she loves cum inside her. I relate. So, she doesn't need a dildo, she needs a better lover. I suggest you work on lasting as long as possible so that she gets off on sharing PIV with you, too. I don't want to be crude but she is your Wife, not a fleshlight. It's never ok to just pump and dump (unless she specifically requests it). Research as much as you can on techniques that men use. They're all over the internet and possibly in these forums too.

    My ex of a few years learned to last an excruciatingly long time after being in mental chastity for ages. At first I had to force him to ruin his own orgasms if he came in me too early. He HATED the weird and desperate feeling. He quickly learned never to do that on purpose again. From time to time when he comes out to visit me, if he slips up because it's been months and he can't help it, I don't let him get away with it. Ever. Plus a ruined orgasm makes him work really hard to please me straight afterward so that I say the magic words. He learned to cum on command, so effectively that he could also cum immediately without being hard. It happens within a second. Once you get this down, simultaneous orgasms become the norm. Your Wife deserves this.

    If my lover came in me in "nothing flat", every 2 weeks is extremely generous. Women have a LOT more sex when it's good. We have it all the time when it's so good that it's addictive. Her low desire is just a symptom. I'm glad you are looking into improving her situation and finding ways to pleasure her.
     
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  4. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    Do you think maybe that she's going to be 71 in a few months might have something to do with her low libido?
    Things do change as we age.
     
  5. QueenOfSwords
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    #5 QueenOfSwords, Sep 2, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2019
    Yeah, could very well be... though my grandma (we were close), she had boyfriends well into her 90s... She didn't look it though. They were usually in their 70s by then. She was way more picky about good sex as she got older and chose to remain single during periods where the selection was not up to her standards.

    We can all improve our techniques - it's neverending. I'm working on improving myself in a lot of areas every day.
     
  6. MissyB
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    It seems to me that you should speak with her first. She may well like to try a sex toy, but it might be that she prefers 'real' cock and there is more you can do to please her that way. If she is locking you in chastity then it's really her decision when and what your sex will be like. I think the previous suggestions on improving your sexual performance might be a better starting point.
     
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  7. Tom Allen
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    Mrs Edge does not self-identify as dominant, and she definitely does not see herself as kinky. Yes, I know, but that's the way it is.

    Anyhow, I've usually warmed up the (very lifelike) Vixskin by running it under hot water in the sink. However, this past year I've been warming it up in a thermos mug filled with hot, hot water for about a half hour before we go to bed. When she's ready, it's a bit warmer than body temp, which (according to her) feels so fantastic that she usually comes within a minute or two.

    Anyhow, it may not be for everybody, but it's probably worth trying for those who dislike dildos. Note that Vixskin is not cheap, but then, we considered it an investment.
     
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  8. QueenOfSwords
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    Wow @Tom Allen, what a great idea! Sounds like something I'd try.
     
  9. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    Absolutely!
     
  10. locked_cuckold
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    Yes, make the entire experience about her - leaving yourself out of the loop.

    First, start with love letters. Leave them all over the house like Easter eggs for her to find. In the medicine cabinet, in her purse, under the cover of her pillow, etc. Set the mood there for weeks.

    Next, on the day of give her a bath. Don't join her in the water, just run it for her and give her a bath while playing soft music and light the bathroom with scented candles. Talk to her. Tell her how special she is to you. What she means to you. And what chastity means to you. Thank her for what she's doing, and tell her you feel like you're getting the better part of the deal.

    Take her to bed and give her a long, slow massage. No rush. Start non-sensual. Shoulders....back....arms...legs and work your way around to the good parts. Give her time to get into the mood and loosen up. YOU may be ready to cum in minutes but odds are SHE'S not. Women take time.

    When you think she's ready, please her orally - again, taking your time.

    After she orgasms, lay next to her and hold her in your arms. Tell her how much fun that was! Tell her that you really *enjoyed* being able to give her sexual pleasure without getting any in return. That you want sex between you now to be just that way - all about her and her desires. Ask her how she'd feel about that, and if, in the future it would be OK if you pleased her with dildos and vibrators.

    It's her choice, so do as she says. Don't fight her. Remember, this is about YOUR submission to HER.
     
  11. QueenOfSwords
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    Yup! You know what's up @locked_cuckold! And it's not your cock. Poor squished little thing. :p
     
  12. BKwife
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    Give it a try!. I personally LOVE when my piggy brings mine into our play. I call it my boyfriend and torture my husband by telling him how much I love my boyfriend's big cock. You never know until you try. Good luck
     
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  13. luckyhubby83
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    this is the truth.
    my wife thought the sleeve/extension would be too big as i manage to hit her uterus in a painful way sometimes. when i started laying into her with the sleeve, the look of pleasure was undeniable. she was eating up the added girth and length. at 6.5" im no slouch, but i could tell the difference in her enjoyment being heightened.
     
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  14. SSBITCH
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    I am 5.5” hard, the dildo she takes is 8” and pretty wide. Interestingly if I am not in chastity its almost too big. When I am in chastity she gets very turned on, and she takes all 8” right up to its balls. Obviously I can’t compete. Plus i can keep it moving fast while I work her clit. Much more stamina than I can endure physically. Its a relief for me, since I can’t please her with me inside no matter how hard I try. She also pretends and tells me its like another guy. She grabs my caged cock and balls while she cums and yells how much she likes my cock caged!

    QUOTE="luckyhubby83, post: 346507, member: 56841"]this is the truth.
    my wife thought the sleeve/extension would be too big as i manage to hit her uterus in a painful way sometimes. when i started laying into her with the sleeve, the look of pleasure was undeniable. she was eating up the added girth and length. at 6.5" im no slouch, but i could tell the difference in her enjoyment being heightened.[/QUOTE]
     
  15. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    You need to talk it through with her: what you want, why, and then what she wants and why. Good luck
     
  16. Kodama
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    Hi, what Vixskin do you guys own? I'm interested in buying one, have read a few things but getting opinions from actual users is invaluable.

    Thanks for your time.
     
  17. locked_cuckold
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    Honestly, I wouldn't trade being chaste for all the sex in the world. I'm on day 11 and I'm the happiest I've ever been, I just need a key holder and I'll be set.
     
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  18. Tom Allen
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    We have the Tex (which we fit with a Stormy Leather Terra Firma harness). It's a normal sized unit (ie, it's about my own natural shape and size), with a plain, round base.

    Mrs Edge likes for my cage to bump her ass (it reinforces the idea that I'm locked), and the plain base with the 2 straps underneath the harness allow me to wear it low on my hips for a very natural feel.

    The testicle base doesn't sit right on top of the cage, and she's not interested in trying a larger one.
     
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  19. PolarisAT
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    I tried this once on my lady. It's a nice feeling knowing that you can give it to her as long as she wants. She liked it too, but some ladies prefer the dildo not to be too large ;-)
     

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  20. Tom Allen
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    Mrs Edge is post menopause, and I do the same thing with the lube: I put some into a small, travel sized bottle and put that in a small thermos cup of hot water at the bedside.

    Between wearing the Vixskin low on my hips, and keeping everything warm, it's made sex so enjoyable for her that we're having more now than we did in the last 20 years.

    Again, some women can't get past the dildo idea. And the Vixskin is pretty expensive just to try something out. The thing to keep in mind is that the way we approaches it takes the idea up a few levels in order to create a very natural feel for the both of us.
     
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  21. madams-sissysub
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    My madam never liked dildos we tried them early on and she fever really took to them. She said nothing can compare to a real cock, hence why she insisted on cuckolding me. As mentioned before, you must remember it is all about her pleasure, and her satisfaction. And your place is to do all to please her.
     
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  22. Kodama
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    Brilliant, thanks for that. This and the Buck were the two I was thinking about.
     
  23. Junebug15
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    Junebug15 Long term member

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    Oh bk
     
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  24. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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  25. HappilyLockedMan
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    Tom Allen,
    I looked at the Stormy Leather Terra Firma harness. It didn't seem to provide space for a cage. There was just one picture on the site. Does it actually work for you while caged? Or uncaged, for that matter?
     
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