From Vanilla Girlfriend to Mistress.

Hello everyone, it's been awhile since I've posted.

Basically, I didn't even know chastity existed until I had been dating the love of my life for six months. He confessed to me that he was into this thing called chastity and taught me about it. I asked alot of questions and we talked openly about it. By the end of the conversation I was turned on by the idea and agreed to jump in and get started. This was about 12 months ago as now we've dated for 18 months.

For the first little while, he set the sessions with an app and controlled most of the details. I was comfortable with that since I didn't know much about being a mistress. I would ask him for advice and idea prompts as he was experienced and then I would fulfill my role the best I could. Long story short, we sort of fell out of the routine for awhile and we hadn't engaged with chastity for maybe 6-8 weeks up until about 2 weeks ago.

Previously I was a bit of a soft mistress, I must admit. I struggled with engaging in the kink and denying/teasing/punishing him (or trying to) and feeling like a mean girlfriend for spanking him or denying him. Sometimes I would stand firm and deny, other times I would feel bad and give into the begging. Sometimes I felt like a strong mistress, sometimes weak. I grappled with my guilt for inflicting discomfort on someone that you're supposed to take care of. That was before.

Throughout our journey, I joined the Mansion community, and gained a ton of new knowledge. I learned fun ways to tease, new ways to punish and lots of other information. I learned we can still have the same relationship, care and love for him in day to day life, while engaging in our private/intimate life with chastity. I learned there are boundaries and that those boundaries can be different for those who live vanilla lives and those who dont.

When our new session began, something changed. I no longer felt a feeling of guilt for causing him discomfort. I realised that this was something he wanted in his life, and that his discomfort was actually a turn on for him. I also learned it makes him more affectionate, makes us closer, and our relationship stronger. We are more connected with chastity.

Just shy of two weeks ago, I told him to put on his cage, that I missed chastity and I wanted to go for it again, seriously this time. That something felt different. I was ready. Really ready this time. I had had time to miss it, to crave it, and to realize how great it was for us. It wasn't mean. It was fun, connecting, hot, intimate, and many other things.

He at first, thought it was just a game, this new session. He has now thoroughly realized he was mistaken. My role as a mistress has been a full 360° from what it was before. He now realizes I'm serious about this, and that he can't get away with begging and getting out of it.. 'copping out' so to speak.. when he got to horny and wanted an orgasm.

He is completely and utterly horny at all times, incredibly affectionate and he craves me. The denial he's receiving keeps him so heightened and I know he loves it even though he whines about his orgasm. He is completely in awe with the mistress I've become.

I wanted to make this post to share our experience and my journey into being a strict mistress. I want to share the more human side of it, the struggles, while sharing the fun parts, the good stuff.

Welcome to our journey,
queenofhearts xo

 

06/26/19: Tonight after doing some chores, I told him to go clean out if he wanted to be pegged (pegging is something we have explored for awhile, but never fully involved enough in orgasm denial for him to appreciate the pleasure of it to the fullest extent) before bed.

My subby, after telling me for a few days how much he wanted to be pegged for some pleasure, rushed off to go clean out to prepare to be pegged.

We had a nice long pegging session, complete with moaning. Toward the end, he started to have a great big stream of pre-cum dribble down from his cage. It was a very satisfying and intimate experience.

I helped clean him up and then left him to clean up the mess. We are now snuggled up in bed ready for sleep.

Night night, Sleep tight

 

Maybe you can give me some ideas?

 

Looks like my guy decided to drop by to say hi. Skinky is my subby and love of my life ❤️

6/27/19

Previously I would try to arouse Skinky on the way to work by rubbing his leg, penis, etc and he was not having it if he even remotely thought someone somewhere could see what was happening (which you can't, it's below the window sight line), he was not into it. The other day however, he was in the car squirming to adjust himself because of how horny he was. I told him that if he wanted to undo the button/zipper on his jeans right there in the car, while driving, that he could have one minute to jiggle the cage BUT that he did not have permission for an orgasm. That went over really well, and he opened his pants faster then I expected.

Today, we were driving to work (I drop him off as we have only one car) and I went for his nipple. Through our chastity journey, we have discovered in the last few days as things got more serious, that stimulating his nipples feels really good. I grabbed his nipple and it was such a turn on. He was shifting around in an uncomfortable but wild arousal. He was enjoying it so much. Something so simple, in such a weird spot. I loved it so much, it turned me on seeing him squirm and enjoy such a small thing. He now enjoys anything he can get. What a wonderful thing.

I stopped playing with his nipple and laughed 'evily' as Skinky would say, and said about how much I loved our life. How hot it was watching him squirm and go crazy with both pleasure and discomfort at the same time. I love him so much. I love chastity.

 

06/29/19

Last night I decided that I was maybe going to let my subby have an orgasm.

A week prior, I told him I wanted PIV but that he wasn't allowed to cum. When he got really close, and after I had already had my orgasm, I told him he had the choice whether or not he wanted to have an orgasm. He thought about it really hard, while I reminded him that he would be giving up this session we had worked so hard for. I told him to think about how important the session was to him before he had one, but that the choice was his.

He struggled with his decision for a few seconds and then pulled out as he came, resulting in pretty much a ruined orgasm. He put the cage back on, unsatisfied, and the session continued.

Last night, I didn't tell him he wouldn't be having one at the start. I told him that when he was close, I would decide. I made him put on a condom, and then his rubber sheath (I think that's what it's called) so that he wouldn't feel it as much. Still, he right away was close to having an orgasm because he's been so incredibly horny. I told him to cum. He asked if he could take the sheath off and I said no, that if he wanted it, he was having it just the way it was.

I had told him before we started, that IF I chose to let him have an orgasm tonight, I still expected submissive behaviour while he returned to his heightened state of horniness in the session.

I have decided that he will be cageless for the weekend, not allowed to touch or anything without my permission or doing and that the cage will be back on right away Monday morning.

We were out of chastity for quite awhile before we started this session, and he went for probably almost the longest we've EVER gone, so I felt like last night was a good time for an orgasm and a release for him so that we can keep going longer and longer in the future.

Chastity is completely a part of our lifestyle now, so we are both learning to push the limits and go longer. Oh how I love this <3

 

07/01/19

Cage went back on this morning. We are back into chastity full swing.

We talked today about this no longer being just about sessions that start and end, but rather a lifestyle with active times and break times.

I am so happy with my relationship with my subby. He says he is a lucky guy.

 

He was actually still in quite the substate this weekend I would say. I loved it.

 

good idea! Right now we just got him a pack of 'manties' as he referred to them. Nice and tight, nice and small

 

07/02/19

Day 2 re-locked. Horny, horny, horny.

We had a nice little frisky make out session this afternoon. We were both super horny. I got to have my orgasm, and then afterward he said 'what about me?' I told him that we were all done and I thanked him for his service. I then told him to get up and walked away. He lay there so horny he was unable to get up for a moment and then finally got to his feet.

He makes this grimacy, whining face and sound when he's super horny and it gets me turned on everytime. I usually chuckle and then it gets him going even more.

As I write this, we're all cozied up in bed with him cuddled up against me. Cage up against my leg. How he likes it. Before he started to fall asleep, I could feel it pulsing.

He playfully says he thinks he will have an orgasm soon.. but he is mistaken!!

 

07/03/19

Meant to post this last night but I fell asleep early.. sigh... adult life.

We had an issue. My subby made a disappointing mistake.

He was really horny (of course) and I decided to open his cage to moisturize his dick, intending to give him a hand job of sorts and maybe edge him. So the first time he told me he was gonna cum I stopped right away and it was fine. I kept going. The second or third time he told me and as I went to take my hand away, he came. A ruined orgasm. Not a big deal, my fault for not stopping fast enough. Still keeps him in his horny state...a little sooner in then I would have purposely given him a ruined..but no harm no foul.. carry on... so I thought.

He was all sticky so I told him to take a shower. We both knew he was gonna keep the cage off to clean up because it was literally everywhere and the cage would just get all dirty too. He went to take a shower on his own. Alone. With no cage on. I was too trusting in this type of situation.

Next thing you know, he comes down from his shower with his cage off (he had an apt and had asked me if he could leave it off post shower for it to be more comfortable, to which I of course agreed to, and said it would go on right after upon returning home).

Before he left however, he told me that the punishment I had told him he had coming to him in the evening for showing me some attitude earlier that day had better be worth it because he jerked it in the shower and came.

I was so disappointed in his decision, I didn't even know what to say. I told him that I was mad he did that. That I spent 15 mins giving him a hand job/ruined/tease and then trusted him to shower uncaged and then he went and did that. I told him that in terms of chastity he broke my trust. I told him he would certainly be punished and that we would talk about this after his apt.

He expressed guilt, shame and remorse and told me how it is a struggle for him between his brain and his body sometimes as this is new for him, me being so serious about long term orgasm denial. He said he was so horny in the shower that he just couldn't stop himself and that his guilty conscience was worse then any punishment.

I feel this is partly my fault because he should not have been left alone in the shower without the cage. It was too tempting. Too easy. I thought I could trust him, that he was strong and could control it. I guess he couldn't even trust himself in this situation.

So technically we are back to day one today. I am going to include an entry for today below.

07/04/19

I will no longer be trusting him alone in the shower with no cage on. If it's removed for cleaning, I will be right there. If it is on, I will check in every few mins, be near by just in case. He lost his freedom.

As for his punishment, I decided to go easy as we are both still learning. I am going to start some reinforcement spankings tonight and do them often, I hear that is supposed to be good for enforcing submissive behaviour. I am also not going to be giving him a ruined or edging for awhile, make him make up the time so to speak.

My disappointment and his guilt both make a good punishment in themselves.

He didn't want me to post about this, but I wanted this to be an honest account of our journey. No one is born a chastity pro. We have to experience this things right? We live, we learn and we have fun.

Thank you to everyone who reads what I have to say.. I appreciate it!