Why are women so hesitant to lock men in chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by locked_cuckold, Mar 27, 2019.

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  1. locked_cuckold
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    locked_cuckold Active member

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    Honest question, and I have some thoughts on this but I want to get a discussion going.

    Why are women so hesitant to lock a man in chastity?

    Discuss.
     
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  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    There can be several reasons. Some that come to mind:
    1. Fear that it will hurt the man
    2. They like their man to be “manly” and chastity is kind of the antithesis of what society says is manly
    3. It just seems weird to prevent a man from doing what most men love to do
    4. It looks weird to have something attached to a man’s penis
     
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  3. Consensus
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    Consensus Long term member

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    Interesting. My wife, about other things, was of the opinion that kinks were called 'deviancy' for a reason and that there was no need to discuss any of them any further. In short, it's not 'normal'.
     
  4. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Long term member

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    because most women dont understand how it will do anything for the till they see the benefits first hand.
    some just are not interested in exercising that level of control over their lover.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    for the moment at least, it's considered a fetish. And fetishes, by definition, tend to be enjoyed by a minority. We may wish that were otherwise, and one day it may be considered mainstream.
     
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  6. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    Why are women so hesitant to have sex with farmyard animals?

    You might think one is a good idea and the other a horrible one, but many people see both as abhorrent. As @LesterBallard said, fetishes appeal to a minority. If your thing is bestiality (or whatever), you might see chastity as strange and unusual.

    A better question might be, "Why do you think chastity is a good idea?", without resorting to cliches.
     
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  7. R2002
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    R2002 Long term member

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    The woman may feel that her man is rejecting her and is not satisfied by her.
     
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  8. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    I would say it's probably because most women think it's just another sex thing men want to do. (which it probably is in most cases)
     
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  9. castmenow
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    castmenow Junior Member

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    Some ladies just like to have their man inside them during sex.
     
  10. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Long term member

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    thats what a sleeve is for. my KH was very much against it till it was tried. now she enjoys it quite a bit. but there is something missing as she says, when she cant feel the warmth of me...maybe that will fade who knows. lol
     
  11. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    Some guys can really overdo the “it’s all about her” or it’s “a vanilla kink” angle without having self awareness for how self absorbed they can get. I’m lucky to have open minded wife, but she’s never going to be wired to love chastity as a kink like I do. (I am lucky there are others kinks she’s really gotten into—-she’s game). So, whether it’s making time for hot sex, romance, or vanilla things, you have to be able to balance the excitement and expectations of experimenting with your partners needs.

    From my perspective, it’s also really easy to work up your expectations so that you either imagine your partner totally loving the idea or getting worried about the thought of utter rejection. Real life is usually some where in between. Sometimes your partner is going to be like “meh” and sometimes she might be game but not to degree you want. Work with it the best you are able.
     
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  12. Changeable
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    Changeable Long term member

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    And sure not all women feel that way. This site can attest to the truth of that.
    I won the lottery with my gf/kh that she is into it. She's still going to be concerned that its healthy for us both, though.
    She's awesome.
    That being said, I wonder what percentage of women are into this.
    Is it a tiny minority or a significant number of women?
    Has that ever been investigated, I wonder.
    It would be interesting to know.
     
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  13. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    I think it is an un-sex thing. :)
     
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  14. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    How do you define "this"? I have a friend who probably does not know a lot about chastity devices who confided in me she likes being "mean" and the one of the "meanest" things she does is get her boyfriend all hot and bothered, and then deny him sex if she's feeling annoyed by him. My wife about kicked me when I started asking follow up questions. Lots of people like being the object of desire, affection, or like some form of control. Jumping straight to the fantasy of being locked up 24/7/365 in a inescapable device is a different realm.
     
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  15. LotionBoy
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    Ok, my opinion is because......men should be men. At first it seems like the man wants to give this up. I have made it my mission in life to be subserviant sexually, and a total ALPHA in every other facet of my life. I want for my wife to hold my balls in her hand, this excites me and makes me do the things that make US great. She understands, takes her role seriously.......and makes me proud! She is creative, diabolical.......and lots of fun to be a slave to! I love her so much. If you give a REAL woman control, you will be happy forever. Period.
     
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  16. locked_cuckold
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    locked_cuckold Active member

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    I asked my wife to do this and she said words that no husband likes to hear, "Let me think about it."

    So I did just that and brought up the subject about once a week.

    She sat down and explained it from her side.

    1) Putting me in chastity is also putting her in chastity. Dick feels *really* good and locking my dick away affects her as well.

    2) What does she get out of it? Why should do this?

    3) Safety. What are the physical and psychological ramifications of chastity to men long term? What device would work best? For how long are we doing this?

    She likes to make sure she's prepared and does her homework, and wanted to know I had done mine as well. We started with a cheap, plastic one and worked our way up to 'jailbird'.

    4) Disbelief. She said to me on more than one occasion, "I can't believe you're going to give up pussy."

    I gave it up and am never going back. No orgasms for me ever again. Honestly, I feel like I've been freed.
     
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  17. LotionBoy
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    So......she fucks whatever pleases her? And you watch.......?
     
  18. locked_cuckold
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    No, I don't watch. I can hear because they don't hide it a lot but it's not like I'm actively listening.

    She has sexual pleasure on tap from someone else, I don't have orgasms ever. It's the way we both want it.
     
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  19. Guest 4328
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    I can't think of one good reason why they wouldn't want to. Men are inherently ready anytime, anywhere. It's puzzling to think why women wouldn't jump at the chance to say if or when or ever or never that happens, and be in complete control of that. I am self locked, wishing for participation. I wish there were magic words to make them understand.
     
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  20. Mojoman
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    I'm only guessing here, but being locked up and controlled is, in the main, a male fantasy. If you've managed to find a woman who is kind enough to indulge your fantasy, then you're a lucky man.

    There may be benefits for the woman in some relationships, but these are probably not apparent when the subject is first discussed. In my opinion, to try and sell it as a benefit to her is quite dishonest.

    Women who like to be dominant may wish to use a cage as part of their means to control their man, but many of them will have other ways.
     
  21. Locked in love
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    Locked in love Long term member

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    I can only answer for one woman. When we went down this path a few years ago, she explained that she'd been taught to not use sex as a weapon and it was difficult for her to accept being sexually selfish. It was very gradual but she's completely changed. After about a year, nearly out of the blue, she said 'we're never going back you know."
     
  22. Miss Veronica
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    With my first experience with a sub in chastity I thought to myself, 'Whaaaa? He's locking himself away from me because he doesn't want to have sex...?' I was very put out...lol. Since then I have never really plunged into the idea of long-term chastity - I like warm sex too much - but I do use the benefits of denial and use chastity for short-term play. My sub is my sex slave, not my nullo servant.

    But, a lot of this depends of the relationship of the Domme and sub. Dommes (and women) find it a convenient excuse/practice if they don't want to have sex with their partners (and that's not necessarily because they don't want to have sex at all, they just don't want to have sex with him).

    I have a Dom (male) friend who was finding it hard to keep a sub simply because he likes to be in chastity during BDSM play. He said a lot of his female subs would get offended. They thought it was a sign that they weren't attractive enough for him to want to sex with them. He found a lot of the subs needed their Dom to want to have sex with them to feel worthy and even beautiful. But then again, he always had babygirls so... they don't tend to have as much self esteem.
     
  23. desertsub
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    My wife felt the same as locked_cuckold's wife, putting me in chastity was also putting her in chastity. She said she liked my dick inside her just as much as she likes other men's dicks in her. She is a health care professional and also had concerns about hygiene the health of my penis. When we got the MM Jail Bird that resolved the hygiene issue and she loved how it looked on me. My wife is very dominant and controlling and hates me masturbating, she feels like it's cheating on her, so she had no problem taking away MY access to my penis. My wife does cuckold me but it's not a regular thing for her, it only happens when she wants it to and with who she wants. She has to be in the mood for it, so it wasn't a go to thing for her when she locked me long term, even though it could be if she wanted.

    At first she would unlock me and leave me unlocked for a few days at a time, not trying to be all that strict with my chastity. As time went by though, the control aspect started becoming more appealing to her over the inconvenience of not having my penis available. Gradually , she exerted more and more control by limiting what I was allowed to do, at first not allowing me to orgasm inside her when we had sex, which progressed to not allowing me inside her except on very special occasions such as our anniversary or my birthday (but still not allowed to cum inside her). Now, she has gotten to the point where she keeps me locked 24/7 and I'm only unlocked to shave and for teasing. She now says I will not even be unlocked when we're flying somewhere, I will be locked in my old CB6000s with a plastic numbered key to go through security and my Jail Bird will be in her carry on, to be put back on me after we arrive at our destination. Now, she loves keeping me locked and quite often tells me that chastity is my life now, as long as we are together I will be locked!
     
  24. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Some women, including my Mistress and Keyholder like making love with their man. They like touching holding, caressing, playing with something live and warm and don't like the false plastic/silicone phallics.

    They don't want to miss out on an opportunity
     
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  25. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Well, Mrs Chaste has told me that her strapon is much more satisfying than me! Along with that and my apparent expertise in the tongue department she sees no real need to free me!
     
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