I made a new friend here tonight. As it turns out she lives about an hour north of me. It appears that her husband has a bad porn and masturbation addiction. Probably been going on for decades. They've chosen chastity as a way to address the problem, but it's not going to be enough. As a service to her and others here who have the same problem can we start a thread to help offer support to those struggling with this addiction? I know it nearly destroyed my marriage and I know I'm not alone. If you're having problems with porn in your relationship there are probably people here who can help.
Yes, a thread to support something like that seems very worthwhile. I know I wasted way too much time watching before chastity and my FLR. Seldom do I have the desire now. My attention is now redirected to other more productive places.,lol.... I hope.
Good thread to start. As of May 1st my internet time will be put on the clock. 15 instead of 40-50 hours. It may be hard to stop your spouse totally but controling the amount of time may work. I believe it will work for us. Look forward to more posts here
Total she installed some kind of clock to keep track of when and how long I'm logged on. My business and personal life requires me to be online very little. She takes care of most of household business from work. My work is more hands on outside most of my time online was porn related.
self discipline is the key...if u find that u have too much spare time go and do some physical activities like sport, running,swimming, working out etc. It helps a lot to reduce your energy and alleviate your horniness and u also feels great as well.
One of the reasons I am locked up all the time is due to chronic masturbation. My career and military service has taken me away from my loved ones for as much as a year at a time. Most times just 3 months. So masturbation was my sex life for a good portion of the year and difficult to stop. Problem is that I still can masturbate in any of the 5 devices I own. Just stick a swab in an opening and masturbate. Hold a vibrator against my testicles/cage or jerk the cage back and forth. A chastity cage is a poor device to stop masturbation outside of porn and fantasy. At best it is a speed bump to give you pause to think about what you are going to do. My wife is OK with Porn. We used to watch it together and made some videos of us with our girlfriend. My wife is not OK with masturbation because it interferes in our sex life. She was horny and I just masturbated kind of thing. Chastity will never work if you do it for real and not part of some fantasy play. It requires the male to promise and want to not masturbate. The cage is a reminder of his promise and makes it less convenient to do so. As I said, it is just a speed bump to slow you down. If you masturbate when locked, you are only cheating yourself so why bother going through hell only to undo all your hard work. As for porn. Men are voyeurs and women are not. Men are genetically designed to be sexually aroused by visual means. Women, not so much. The problem with porn is not the porn but how a man reacts to it. He will see things that his wife will never do. He will see women eager for sex at any time and beg to be used by men and smile or pretend to protest it. He will see fetishes like cuckolding which is very big now, especially with black men who seem to have a monopoly on big penises. I think there are a lot of horny men who never played sports or was in the military where you shower with black and white guys. I did that for 6 years and never saw a particularly large black penis. Probably because they are all working in the porn industry. So now we have men getting aroused and masturbating to what they see online. The wife being used by a big black man is not his wife so he feels no jealousy, only arousal. They also associate arousal with all other fetish play that they view regularly. Then they get into bed with a wife they had sex with hundreds or thousands of times and do it by the numbers the same way as last time. I know that I could not get aroused by our regular sex. My wife and I spent 30 years of our marriage sharing a girlfriend and doing some group activities. When they ended, vanilla sex sucked and was not arousing. Second reason we got into chastity. So porn will desensitize a man to the kind of sex he has been doing over and over again. His wife is not begging for him to ejaculate on her face and begging for sex every other hour. She does not want to do anal or have sex with strangers so that her husband can jerk off to watching her or have sex with the stranger by proxy when his wife comes home. My wife did that to me. She liked when I had sex with women and watching and/or having sex with me afterwards. She did not know it at the time, but she knows now that she is bisexual. Guys see all the large penises in porn and start to feel that they cannot please a woman without studying how sex works beyond the just sticking it in part. A vagina will hug a penis and actually undulated to pull it in and direct semen to her cervix and egg. So they start to feel inadequate and that messes with their mind. They can also get aroused by some of the yucky fetishes, etc., and then cannot get it up from anything less that what he sees in porn. That is the real danger of porn, not cheating by merely looking at naked girls having sex. That was my problem. I was into heavy duty S&M with my wife's girlfriend and after we moved away from her, I turned to porn. My wife does not like to hurt me so I hardly got erect for her and sex was boring. Add chronic masturbation to the mix and the combo all but ended our sex life until Chastity came along. I do not know how others do it since at least half of sex forum posts are not true or not fully true. All I can do it post what we do. I want to stop masturbating and my wife and I work together to accomplish that. In the process my wife also gets great enjoyment of how I react to her mere touch in bed and how horny I am for her all the time. Our chastity play is not complicated. I promised to stay locked all the time and not masturbate. My wife does not have to check on me at all. Her keyholding duties are simply to tease and edge me plus offer encouragement when I get week. As a masturbation prevention device, ask anyone doing it for real and they will admit that it cannot prevent a determined man. Porn is a more difficult issue. My wife still is fine with me watching porn and I enjoy watching it when I am locked up. It does not have the same effect on me as most men because I have done just about everything I see in porn. My sex life is better than most porn movies. So I do not develop the desire to do what I have already done any times. It is more like strolling down memory lane. Plus my wife always has and still will do any sex act I ask of her, when I am not locked of course. All of these words are meant to convey that chastity does not work unless the guy who requests it wants it. If he is going to try to figure out ways to cheat, it is not going to last very long. That is why most stop doing it as soon as the initial excitement wears off. A dome cannot dominate anyone unwell to be dominated. Therefore the sub needs to want to do what you are going to do. If he does not, it will not work out and is illegal anyway. Good luck.
yourbrainonporn and gary's ted talk was what helped me. A LOT. Highly recommended. Chastity only works for me if I keep the porn out and it gets easier the longer you are without it.
yes you have to be serious about it and not make a half-hearted attempt to stop the addiction, even if theres someone to hold the key its not gonna help much if that person still persists in watching porn, he could still get out of the cb if he really want it to. For those that are alone and have really bad porn addiction , I would suggest that they might wanna try taking some sort of antiandrogen like Siterone. Just take small dosages for like a couple of weeks to take the edge off and you will find that porn seems less appealing and that you would rather watch something else. Chastity is not necessary unless you like wearing one
cumming in a cage is not nice at all and very unsatisfying as I found out back when I was experimenting with several chastity devices, not sure bout you but its not an experience that I would want to keep repeating lol.
another option for people who are tempted to watch porn too much is to use something like opendns. https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/. Its free for home use. It basically blocks porn at your router. So you can set this up on your router and then give the router password to someone else like a wife/partner/friend that way you are not tempted to mess with the settings and get back into the porn watching habit. We use this at home so our kids do not stumble onto porn. I would also encourage people to watch the movie Men, Women, & Children with Adam Sandler. Excellent movie that shows how destructive internet porn can be on relationships.
I would also encourage all parents to use opendns if you have young children in your home. We caught are 8 yr old son with porn on his school issued Ipad. Research shows boys tend to find porn by the age of 10! Children starting out with porn at such a young age is extremely damaging to them in the long run.
unfortunately nothing unusual. think about it - a 8 year old watching porn. thanks for sharing your story.
If you have an addiction of any kind, you are better off seeking professional help. There are numerous treatment options for helping with addiction. Like anything, if your addiction is interfering with your life, work, or relationships you should get help. I am all for using chastity to restrict masturbation and controlling porn as part of a power exchange relationship. That to me is fun, powerful, and erotic as a source of control and erotic denial. But unless you are a trained therapist or psychiatrist, you have no business trying to use chastity or any other technique for treating something as serious as addiction. You may well end up making things worse or even causing damage you are unaware of. Chastity as a treatment or therapy sounds like something from Victorian times (and not in the good sexy, fantasy way).
Maybe it can be therapy and good sexy fun at the same time. Many people are addicted to over eating, they sort themselves out and go on a diet. Professional therapy isn't needed in most cases.
I've had problems with porn and professional therapy has been tremendously beneficial to me (not just regarding porn but in many ways). Best wishes to the OP
I will add that chastity and orgasm denial has also been of great benefit to me and my Wife. But I need the help of a therapist as well.