Day 5 of a two week lock up. My wife's time of month is here and typically that means I'm locked until the weekend after she's done. I'm locked 24/7 except for cleaning and once a week we have a "date night". My wife doesn't really do much tease and denial. We tried incorporating it into our schedules, but with all the activities we do all week with our children, by the time we get to bed Durning the week we are both exhausted. And, if she's going to have me unlock, at that point we might as well have sex, and she's not into doing that during the work week. So, locked I stay. I do want the flirtation aspect of T&D. I just don't mention it anymore. Two years of chasity play have taught me to take what I am given from my vanilla keyholder and be happy. Just today, I'm kind of in a "blah" space...
I went through that phase... by not fighting it, it made me more submissive, I just accepted it as "her wish", even though it was unspoken. In the long run, it worked out for the better, she appreciated me more for not pestering her when she wasn't in the mood.
I think a lot of us that are locked for longer periods went through this. When we started playing with chastity it was all about tease and denial. But when it became just normal part of our lives I just had to deal with the fact that she is in control and I have nothing to say about it. She does what she pleases I just focus on her needs.
I'm sorry. Was I supposed to live up to some fantasy world that everyone can be titulated by, or may I please have a moment of just being a little in my head? No. It's not about me. But, I am my own person. I refuse to believe that I'm the only one that sometimes has a moment of just wanting.
I agree, not pestering her to be sexual has really helped our relationship. I'm always horny, the cage has helped me be more mindful and given her the control to say when and what happens.
When we started chastity it was exciting and new, now it's "normal" and what we do. I don't see us changing from it. But it's interesting to note that when it all comes down, the exciting part of your sex life is not a key on a chain or a steel cage on your willy, it's the bond you have with your wife.
Wearing a chastity device is not always going to be a fun fest, and anyone that says it is hasn’t worn one long enough. Just like any sex life, there are going to be lulls, ebbs and flows. The hard part about chastity is that during these non peak times, we are not free to take care of our own needs. Besides sexual lulls, real life pokes it’s ugly head in there occasionally. Sickness, family health issues, schedule changes, work or money issues, not to mention her monthly visitor. Sometimes you look down and ask yourself why the heck am I wearing this thing! It’s never going to be a never ending ride of tease and denial with her making it hot all the time. The blahs happen, it’s how we handle those times that really make the difference to her. When we get crabby and complain, all this becomes work for her. When I’m in a lull, I tend to use my imagination as a tool to keep my engine running hot. I think about taking her on a kinky trip, the plans I would make, what we would do etc. It gives me the opportunity to think of new ideas, keeps me interested, and doesn’t pester her. Keep your chin up, this too shall pass.
Agreed. The overall gains in intimacy can not be denied in our case. I just let her set the pace. The whole idea for me is that it is up to her. "Just keep swimming". lol
Wow, that was a leap! Fantasy world, titulated etc. Don't be so touchy, of course it's about you, she's vanilla. What does a vanilla key holder get from this? Nothing! Other than doing something for you. It's no big deal, she clearly loves you to tolerate your kink. Ok, so you're bored, fair enough, but I'm not sure this should be a surprise to you.
Venting is normal, heck most of my journal is me dealing with having a cage locked on my privates and how I deal with it. No worries
I'm not being touchy. You made a very short, flat statement that implied I was being selfish, or not being considerate / mindful of what my wife wants or does not. My post here is intended to convey what I was feeling at that particular time and I was hoping it would spark a conversation about the low points you feel while locked up. I'm very KH positive in my viewpoint. So to answer your question, no. It's not all about me. But I am a person, and as such I have my own thoughts, hopes and dreams. I'm very grateful that my wife plays along with my kinks. I know that I'm lucky to have such a wonderful person in my life and I hope I bring her joy as well. It's not a surprise either. I deal with anxiety and depression constantly. Being bored happens to me multiple times a day, day in and day out. I believe my overactive libido has its roots there. I'm either going 110mph or ready to lock all the doors in my house and never come outside again. There is no middle ground. I'm never suprised by a certain mood, since I go through multiple moods constantly. This is not an excuse mind you, just an observation I thought I would share.
2D texts and chats never convey emotion or feeling. I may have asked whether someone was having a go or stating a fact, no necessarily assume it was a personal attack. Worth considering before you make an assumption of context. That said, i tend to make flat statements that can be taken out of context, so apologies for that. And sorry you suffer anxiety issues, it can be a stressful world sometimes.
From my own experience, I too have had people drop a "You are doing it wrong " comment on my stuff too. I know intention can easily be miss read, but sometimes a person just wants to say something out loud in hopes of support...not instructed. It is easy to feel like you have been shouted down. I am sure I have unintentionally done it here too at some point.