Want to learn to like it :-)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by GentleSubMale, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. GentleSubMale
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    GentleSubMale New member

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    Hello everybody,
    What a great idea this site is!

    About a decade ago my then wife put a cage on me because we both had fantasized about it for quite a while. Strangely, as soon as the cage was on, I lost interest. I just found it annoying and got in a bad mood.
    I'm now 2 years divorced, and again I'm constantly - *constantly* - fantasizing about wearing a chastity cage, this time as part of a specific orgasm-control kink.

    I'd love to learn about how to keep up the interest if I should be so lucky as to try chastity again in the future.

    Look forward to chatting with you all!
     
  2. Adam444
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    Adam444 Long term member

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    Most guys who are into chastity like being locked and went let out, often can't wait to get back in. I'm wondering if your annoyance was just with the particular device(s) you tried. After a while, a well fitting device is barely noticeable to the wearer.

    The good thing is that the abundance of cheap, Chinese clones allows you to try a lot of devices for a relatively modest sum. I don't know where you live but if you're in America, try eBay. There are several sellers that ship from the U.S., which means a device will often take days to arrive rather than weeks from DH Gate or Ali Express. Amazon also has them, but they tend to be a little more expensive. I suspect that most of the Chinese devices come out of a few factories so don't expect quality to improve with a higher price.

    Self-locking is a bit more of a challenge unless you employ some method of key control. If you're lucky enough or are willing to pay, you can find an actual keyholder. If not, you can employ method like using a time locked storage device or mailing yourself the key.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. GentleSubMale
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    GentleSubMale New member

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    Thanks, Adam!
    Lots of great ideas here.
    I'm in Norway, but international shipping is readily available, so it shouldn't be a problem getting devices.

    I'm not sure either why I lost interest. Perhaps I expected more active play and teasing, while my ex-wife wanted to just leave it out of sight out of mind for a while. Anyways, I love the *idea* of the kink at least, and will try to work on my own mindset a bit.

    Thanks a lot for your response!
    Much appreciated.
     
  4. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    For me, the ongoing communication with my KH is an integral part of the chastity experience. I need to feel that I am somehow sacrificing something for Her and Her control is what makes it work. We discuss how this makes each of us feel all of the time. When I get depressed, She pulls me up and vice versa.
     
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  5. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    There are many guys here who self-lock or use software- or internet-based keyholding methods. You need to stop fantasizing about this and get locked up. The advice from Adam about starting with an inexpensive steel cage is correct. Good luck.
     
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  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Self locking wouldn’t work to well for me, it’s the interaction between the locked and the person that owns his freedom that interests me. I would however, be ready to initiate this with a partner when I found one. Meaning I would have a device, gotten the right size and fit, tested it for long term wear etc.

    I would then experiment a little and test my own limits, and if it is something that you know will keep being apart of your life, reveal to your next partner at the right time. That way, after you let her know about it, you aren’t fumbling around with devices, and finding a proper fitting cage. Some of the junk that new kh’s deal with is being asked for the key back because of poor fitting devices and cage injuries. Healing time really puts a damper on new chastity play.

    So get your cage figured out, explore your limits, and be ready for when you do have a kh.

    Good luck
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    good luck and welcome to the site
     
  9. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Nic's right -- you need to operate on the basis that someday your penis will be owned so that you will be prepared for that day!
     
  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Well i wouldn’t say “right”, but it’s the way I would do it.
     
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  11. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    He’s a little modest. He’s right. ;);)
     
  12. Adam444
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    Adam444 Long term member

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    I might suspect then you lost interest because you weren't getting out of chastity what you wanted or at least anticipated. It seems relatively uncommon to find an existing partner who embraces chastity initially, most need some time to adjust to the idea.

    You might want to be a little careful with your expectations, because once you surrender the key it's key holder that makes the decisions. You no longer control went, if, or how and that's the thrill of chastity. To expect or demand more is what's called "topping from bottom" and why open and honest communications is so important.

    From what you have said, I think you will enjoy self-locking and find it a worthwhile experience. Especially if you can use some sort of key control. You can self tease and deny to your heart's content but I suspect it won't be quiet as exciting as with a partner but still a lot of fun.
     
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