Going to see a ProDomme with my Lady

I agree with @masohedo And am happy that you are on the right path! The most important thing is communications between you two and having someone experienced in D/s could certainly be helpful in getting th communication channel working.

 

Fingers crossed and good luck.

 

sensible.

 

If I were to bring my wife with me to see a pro dome, I think it would be a disaster, My wife would cringe and complain, and shout. "Don't do that!" "Stop your hurting him!" "Why would you want to do that??" "Ewww that's disgusting!" "You want HOW MUCH?"

 

Lest you get the wrong impression...... When Mistress and I were in session with Mistress Ann, She basically discussed how to best control me as a sub - both physically and psychologically. Mistress Ann explained what I was thinking in various situations (How did she know?) and how my Wife/Mistress has many options about how to handle the situation (physical/psychological/pleasure/punishment/bondage/solitude/blindfold, etc) Mistress Ann had thought through various common scenarios and how my Wife/Mistress can use those times to better exert Her control over me. Of course, Mistress Ann demonstrated some of Her techniques on me, but mostly, She was talking through the various situations with My Mistress. My Mistress was taught a few torments and CP actions, though.

I didn't get much input to the process, except to agree when M Ann explained my thinking, fears and feelings, and, at the end, the 3 of us sat and openly discussed how the Domme power that my Wife/Mistress has over me can best be utilized and how important that we frequently discuss our feelings from the points of view as Domme and sub - so that each of us understands the other and what is happening dynamically. And, of course that, should we disagree about something, Mistress rules!

Since that session, our communications has progressed incredibly and I feel that we are both much more "into it" I do know that My Mistress has had a couple of phone conversations with Mistress Ann and that, at some point or another, we will be going back to meet with Mistress Ann for more advanced instruction.

 

I will give a bit more details.. Hope I am not "spamming" or boring anyone as the big day is probably still far far away.

what i did so far.

I contacted 2 pro dommes. one of them has a fancy website. no history and her twitter started on june 1st of this year so this is a bit of a red flag. I also get pretty freaked out by terms like "hotwife" "paypig" etc.. She uses those. However the shortage of this profession down here is a big hindrance.
Second person a domme that advertises since many years but advertises both as massagist as well as a domme. She uses fake pictures but at least advertises as dom since 7 to 8 years. I went and talked to her and I am not 100% sure.

Then I posted a question in a local BDSM forum.. I got a very nice lady who responded in private telling me i wont find any professionals here. She is a sub in a marriage but acts as a domme outside of her marriage. She was extremely helpful and mentioned that perhaps once her sub is back from a trip the 4 of us can meet up for a "social session". That sounded very interesting even though I am not sure I know what it is. Dont know how my wife would react to it. So for now I guess I will rest a little, let it sink in and when the time is right have a discussion with my wife.

Most domme advertises here seem to have fake images. For what I am looking for Germany, the UK or even the US would be a far better place to be in.

I will definitely provide you a couple of more details to you. I just hope that you are not getting bored, as the big day is a bit far. I had contacted two professionals. One of them was having a fancy website. They didn’t have any history and the twitter had started on 1’st june , so initially this was a bit scary. I also got a bit scared with the special term of a hot wife. However, I am not able to enjoy the services of these hot babes over here.

While the second person advertises about the hot babes. They use fake pictures and are advertising from the past 7 to 8 years. They helped me in my work and also helped me in getting the correct work and then achieve success.

Late on I had posted it in a local BDSM forum column. I also interacted with a nice lady that responded to me in private. I am pretty sure that I will not get to meet any professional of this high quality just like that \. I am not aware that how my wife is going to react post going through it. So, in the meantime I have decided to cut off myself from it and then take a proper rest. Let the complete idea settle in the mind properly. Also I am looking for new market in Germany, UK, and US.

 

One of my wife's business clients is a retired professional Domme who we grew close to over the years. Unfortunately, with COVID she no longer takes "clients" at her home and has pretty much been isolated this past year.

Years ago, she was being audited and gave my wife a full understanding of her businesses and income streams. She was rather surprised my wife was not shocked by the details and inquired why. When my wife explained at the time we were between flipping back and forth between BDSM and Chasity, she asked my wife a bunch of questions and was concerned with the answers provided by my wife.

She invited us to Sunday Brunch that weekend and it was an interesting experience. After introductions and a tour of the upper home we sat on the patio to eat. A butler came out and started serving and when we asked if her husband was going to join us she pointed out the butler was her husband. After everything was brought out, she instructed her husband to join us and we had a great meal. After we finished he got up, cleaned everything up, and returned standing at her side. She then looked at us, them him, and told him to remove his clothes. We were speechless as he undressed and totally surprised when all he had on was a metal chastity cage and a PA piercing ring at the end. She explained he is her sub and they have been into the lifestyle as a couple for over 10 years. Once she had a solid client base and money he made thru his businesses, they decided he should retire from the stress and take it easy. He was always managing her finances and decided he wanted to try being a sub and enjoyed being at her call.

Now they took us on a tour of their basement and into a hidden room another floor below. It looked like an old fall-out shelter and a page out of the marquis de Sade handbook. There were chains, ropes, pulleys, and various types of furniture and cages in the corners. She lead my wife and me to separate cages and locked us in. I remember how warm it was in the room and I was shivering. She explained she trains men to be submissive to their wife or partner, occasionally she also trains a woman as well but not very often. She started asking my wife and I questions about our BDSM knowledge and experience and just shook her head at the answers. We also explained we started out with my wife submissive and they started to switch before we established my wife liked being the dominant and I the submissive.

She let us out of the cages and led us back upstairs to the drawing room to talk. We had a long and frank talk about ourselves and how we could do things better and safer. If we were interested, she would offer her services free of charge, my wife was able to get her out of a tough spot and not charge her what she was told by others it would cost. We would return the following weekend as guests and she would interview both of us together and separately. She wanted to make sure we were in the right roles and to set expectations and a training schedule. The following weekend went well, now we had to set aside a 10 day window for our training.

Instead of a week at the beach, we elected to change plans and instead went to BDSM Summer Camp. We arrived on a Friday morning and would not leave until the Sunday after, 10 days of who knew what. We were immediately brought down to the basement and ordered to strip, had wrist and ankle cuffs locked on, and placed into separate cages with only a bucket and some water. She then explained to my wife a Domme must understand the role of a sub and o better way to learn than to be a sub. To me she explained I will understand my role and be used for her pleasure. Now my man brain heard I would have the best sex in my life with her, man was I ever so wrong.

To quickly get to the point, we learned the right techniques for suspension bondage, we were doing it so wrong all those years and lucky no one was hurt. She introduced us to the right cuffs, how to position the arms and legs, and mostly to be safe while still suspending the person off the floor. The correct process for whipping and flogging, not to make a bloody mess, but to brighten the skin and stroke placement. If you do it correctly you can flog someone every night, not wait weeks for the skin to heal. Pegging was something I feared, by the end my wife and I were both anal champions. Seven days later my wife was being trained as a Domme, from the outfits to technique, she really embraced the role. The experiance on professional equipment was key, furniture I had made at home had design defects, I was able to adjust and fix ours when I got home because of the simplicity of hers.

What we learned in a week fixed all the things we did wrong in the past and more important, we learned the right way to do things as simple as binding someone to a cross. Safety is key, good technique is critical, and understanding each other is paramount. My wife can read me so well I never have to use the safe word or the traffic light warning during and scene. My advise, if you can get a pro Domme to teach you, go for it.

 

Best thing would be for your mrs to pick a domme that she feels comfortable with. If she doesnt want to I would look for an older domme. Your mrs will be more likely to see her as a mentor than a rival.
You should also find out what your mrs would like from the session. Does she want to sit back drinking prosecco and watch you suffer? Would she like to submit her self ? Would this just be purely instructional ?
Make it clear to your mrs that not all dommes are equal and it might take time to find the right one. Its no diffrent to finding a good plumber or vet. Ultimately your not going to know how good they for your dynamic until you try them. Good luck.