Able to back out - Deal breaker for us?

That's the story with pretty much any ball trap device and as far as real security goes its either a PA or a full belt. However there is a newish anti pullout system made by Lori's devices, last time I looked it wasn't posted on her website but she does that as to not have her design ripped off is what I've been told. If you contact her via her website you can find more information. From what I understand you can still pull out but can't get back in so it's not possible to lie to your KH if she inspects you regularly.

My Miss and I went through the same thing and we were discouraged by the lack of security with my HTv2. I ended up finding a couple of inexpensive steel devices that were more secure but unfortunately still escapable in the end. We just decided to go with it, she loved the way the steel ones looked on me versus the ugly HT. The truth of it is, when I'm wearing my cage I look at it as a permanent fixture and don't even attempt to try to get myself out. When I get hard in my cage and I'm most tempted then I really can't get out, that's when it's most secure lol. There is a matter of will power that is involved as well but my main motivators are... I'm doing this for my partner as well as my self, I'm more focused on her and her needs, I feel like I'm a more amiable & sociable person when I've been locked up for a while, the sex is incredible regardless what we're doing. Yes it started out as a game, we were awkward trying to figure each other and our roles in our FLR and chastity relationship. The more serious I was about it she also became more serious about it and then one day it wasn't a game anymore it was our lifestyle. I admit a part of what makes me feel more submissive around her is having a small metal cage locked over my junk but more importantly I found that when I wasn't wearing my cage, my status and her status in our relationship didn't change and you don't just undo an FLR once it's in place, it's all about the attitude.

If your wife truly wants security and you're willing to take those steps then I say take the plunge for her and get pierced. My Miss and I are nearly 4 years along and this has been a great adventure for us and learning more and new things about each other regardless of being together for 14 years. Talk to your wife about your security options and if you want to be serious about chastity then be serious about your security options. Personally I really want a pa but my Miss is unsure if she wants me to have one. I might ask for my birthday next year. I've heard that they really aren't that bad or painful, there are a ton of threads with great info regarding them as a ton of people here gave them. Good luck with whatever you guys decide.

 

I think this is the key sentence. Be honest with yourself: have you found the reality wasn't as good as the fantasy? You won't be the first to find that, if so.

 

> In her words this "is just a game then" and "doesn't really mean anything". It is hard for me not to agree. As I came to terms with this on my own, I had been losing some of my enthusiasm as well.

It depends on what you think the device's role is. Primarily, it's an erection preventer. So she absolutely controls your erections, unless you have the privacy to specifically pull out, and then your sense of manliness is rather spoiled by having a comical plastic thing hanging from your balls.

It is also a kind of masturbation preventer.

First, it makes masturbation into a fuss, requiring privacy during and after, and creating a mess and inconvenient physical consequences, all creating telltale evidence.

You can get off in a device - even with a piercing - but it's a time consuming, odd painful and sordid experience that generally makes a mess and leaves your urethra bruised so that it stings to pee and you pee more often.

You can also pull out and get off, but then you have to get back in. If the device is properly fitted, that means waiting until you're properly shrunken. If you haven't come for a while, the semen will be salty and your penis will puff up. Also, masturbating with the device still on your balls can stretch or chafe the skin, meaning you suddenly need to be unlocked for a while to heal.

So can't just have a quiet wank while she's asleep next to you in bed. You need alone time, say, in the shower. However then you either spend a suspicious amount of time in the shower getting off while still wearing, or else you risk not being able to get back in. Either way you'll risk suspicious chafing or bruising.

Second, it makes masturbation psychologically hard, and harder to conceal.

If you're locked into chastity, then you can't just drift into accidentally masturbating, you'd have to make a positive decision to do it, and you'd feel guilty. It would be very hard to lie about that. That's especially true because wearing a chastity device makes you feel more submissive, which also, of course, makes it harder to pull out.

After a few months of wearing, pulling out becomes stressful, even if it's for a good reason.

 

I have got 6 piercings both ears, both nipples, frenum, and now PA.
The PA is the least painful out of all of them.
Yes I bled a lot the first 2 nights, but it’s not like you will bleed to death. The 3rd night was literally just a single drop of blood and it was over. Night time erections was the cause of the bleeding I am sure. I hardly bled during the daytime.
The PA is just a piercing for looks, I really don’t think she feels you got a piercing when you are inside her.
Bite the bullet and just go to a reputable piercer and get it done. Last night was my first night sleeping locked in a ringless cage and it was better sleeping than if I had Ben in my jailbird which fits perfectly.

 

Lori 2A with retaining ring. Also called a 2E. Look for pictures with the ring inside. Easily upgraded to a PA later. Mine is on order.

 

The other option is a cage with a urethral tube, with the attendant complications. The best non-piercing option is probably the new Lori. But really, a lot of this has to be about commitment and honesty and not even trying to pull out.

 

Your wife is allowed to think whatever she wants, but she's flat out wrong that a lack of 100% security makes it "just a game". The point of a physical chastity device is not to prevent masturbation or orgasms. The point is to make it difficult enough so that your actual chastity device (your commitment to not masturbate without permission) has time to reassert itself when you start to waver.

Does the fact that married people still have sex with people that aren't their spouse make wearing wedding rings "just a game" or something that "doesn't really mean anything"?

 

Wedding rings do have a physical function: To convey the fact that someone is married to others. They are pretty easy to slip off if you're inclined, so they don't really operate as designed. You might as well not even wear one.

Chastity devices, on the other hand, DO operate as designed. You're just mistaken as to what the design is. The goal is to deter, not prevent masturbation as the latter is physically impossible.

 

I think our minds all work in different directions, some look at an ink blot and see a butterfly and some see menacing eyes.

My wife had the same disappointment when I informed her that I could always pull out anytime I wanted. It came up in conversation, I teased that maybe I would just take care of business myself. She said “you can’t” and I told her, I had assumed she knew...it’s funny how little we know about the opposite sex’ anatomy. Her disappointment was quite clear. She also didn’t like the idea of a “emergency” key. Even though she would know and it was tamper proof, she said “it’s still not stopping you from unlocking anytime you want”. It mattered to her. If she was going to do this, she wanted to be the only way out.

I told her that I could get pierced and she said “then you couldn’t ever get out? Ok.” She went with me to get pierced a few days later. When the new device arrived she got both keys.

If it feels more “real” if you can’t pull out, then it is more “real”. If it feels like it’s just a sex game, then it is. She feels how she feels, nobody sees the same ink blot. If you two really like chastity lifestyle, you two do what you need to do to make it work. Maybe it’s a piercing, maybe it’s a device with a urethra insert...important things are a priority if you make them one.

Good luck

 

Very interesting point

 

I'm not married and haven't been, but if my partner thought my desire to commit to her 100% was just a game, I'd probably start looking for someone who respected me as a person.

 

I now wear a Looker1 with urethral insert that is just long enough to be comfortable but stop me getting back into the device which inserts approx 1cm beyond the base ring. I have an oval base ring too which helps as the tube is situated very close to the base ring so once you extract I have found it impossible to get my penis bent or pushed inside to get it back onto the insert which is pressing into my sac and angled downwards with a very small gap between it and the base ring. As a test when the cage arrived Mistress pulled me out of my cage and left me with the cage around my testicles all day or until I could get back into the cage. I ended up having to walk around with the cage attached to my testicles as there was no way I could get back in. As such after this episode I don't even try as I would get discovered and I don't want to have to wear the cage around my testicles until mistress re locks me. Which she said could be a while.
The trick we have found is to get the urethral insert long enough and close enough to the based ring. As I say oval is best as it flatter at the bottom and the angle the tube is designed means I cannot get back in.
This works great for us and has now made my chastity real because I no longer try to get out for fear of having to wear my cage stuck around my testicles which is painful.
The Looker1 works well and the design as standard means the urethral tube is very close to the base ing if you select the oval base ring.

Mitch

 

Soon as I found chastity I knew it was something I "needed".

From experience, I can tell you there isn't a device I could find that would keep me from being able to back out. I went through ~ 6-8 devices and even a Neosteel belt. A little soap in the shower, a little lotion and I could "pop" out and in.

This was such a deal breaker for me. I am one that "needs" to know I can not escape without the keys or breaking the device. I researched and ended up getting a PA. The only reason I got the PA was for security. I found a well known place here in Dallas, they were very nice and the pain was as if someone pinched my nipple. It was quick, and following the healing instructions things went well.

I took time to heal, and stretch to a 2ga. After that I received my custom Steelworxx Looker 03. I was able to wear it 30 days the first time I put it on. I wear it now 24-7 365. Unless she wants sex and it goes right back on.

Long story short, I never found a device without a piercing that would insure the security I needed. The leap of faith is worth it on a PA, allowing you to find a device that will insure complete security. It is an investment, just like in marriage, but worth it.

Lastly, custom, custom, custom. Only way to go.

 

Have you looked into tether spouts no piercing needed but still gives you the same security just need a device that will accept it. Something to check on anyway hope you find your solution

 

I own one myself and there is a learning curve to put in and remove but I'm usually able to do it in under 5 min and it does take a week or so to adjust to something being in your urethra but makes urinating much cleaner lol I love mine however do not yet use it with chastity

 

PA devices do not guarantee complete security. You might not be able to pull out, but you can orgasm if you're sufficiently motivated. The pursuit of 100% security is pure nonsense because it is unachievable.

 

Do your best to not get discouraged.

Chastity requires a certain amount of trial and error. I can’t think of anything that is more difficult to measure that a penis. I measured for two weeks, and still had to have modifications made. And, I have an entire shop full of precision measuring tools that I know how to use.

You may need to start shopping for a custom device. Additionally, the metal devices can tolerate a certain amount of bending which can help your issue considerably.

Keep trying, you’ll figure it out.

I’ve lost a couple of wedding rings because they were sized incorrectly. Cages are no different.

 

Good for you!

 

if you stick with chastity in our relationship. i can vouch that the lori new security ring does indeed work.
i need the security to enforce the chastity, if i can pull out the back or if he keys are laying around i give in to temptation at times. instantly regret it after, but still do it time and time again.
the lori keeps me honest and orgasm free.
i have tried to orgasm in the cage and its not possible. maybe after a few months locked i can. but after a few weeks i was only able to leak a bit. and i tried everything. still couldnt do it.
part of the reason i really really really like the 2A i wear now

 

I'm fairly new to chastity myself and have been experimenting alone, since I'm not in a relationship. I wanted to say that I share your disappointment that it's easy to pull out of chastity devices. People will present all types of arguments for why you shouldn't think about escaping, but to me, a chastity device that you can easily pull out of is like a pair of toy handcuffs that have a quick release lever.

There exist a couple of add-ons for the Holy Trainer devices to inhibit pulling out. They're called The Guardian and they clip onto the back end of the cage and are held in place by the ring. The first version of the Guardian had three stiff rubber "fingers" that stuck down into the tube and which could be customized by cutting the ends with scissors. The ends of the fingers catch the skin of the penis so that when you try to pull out, they dig in and prevent backwards movement. The newer version omits the fingers and just has the clip-on portion. It comes in two thicknesses and two designs, smooth and scalloped. The idea being that it reduces the size of the cage and also provides an edge that the skin won't want to slide against.

There's also another plastic chastity device called The Vice, which features a part which clamps around the cage, pressing against the sides of the penis through cutouts. It's said to grab the skin and cause it to (harmlessly) mold to the texture so that the longer it's worn, the harder it is to try and pull out. Some claim it's effective, others claim that they can pull right out, probably due to small size. As with other devices The Vice comes with different sized rings, different sized spacers for the cage and three different sizes of the clamp. I haven't tried it myself, but I find it a rather appealing idea.

 

Interesting thread. I can back out of my Htv3 nano now too when I’m tiny but if I get an erection boy does it hurt with the position of the cage etc. I would not even consider trying to masturbate with it in. If you were then there’s no point in having it on. It’s also as much in the mind and as a symbol. You’re willing to wear this thing for your partner.

The one advantage to backing out is it enables you to thoroughly clean properly in the shower.