Dominant women who want to please submissive men

I'm curious what makes you say that?

 

Mistress @L-u-c-y you describe the delta between the absolute submissive and the mutual submissive. I'll chance that the former is your primacy, but the vast majority are the latter. You may well be the quite rare Mistress that has achieved dominance without expectation of reward for the devotee. It's reward is absolute in that it has been accepted as a devotee. After that, nothing is proffered back to it. On occasion when some air of recognition for it's devotion is shown, its inner delight literally drowns in gratitude. This is not a D/s relationship to hate or to begrudge , but to be admired for its purity.

 

I have no real problem with your anagram and the analogous lifestyle it pertains to, but I think the real gist of the original point in the thread, calls out the derivation of the dominance. In essence, it's rooted in the response to the DH/DP's need for submission as opposed to responding to the dominance of the female. I see this as a scale of respect issue for the Dominant Female! Cartooned... 'you submissive male, I expect your full devotion without expectation of your needs being met, other than your desire to worship and offer full obedience to Me!' In an article I wrote (not here) many years ago, I referenced this as the Cleopatra relationship. A 'Goddess' level of devotion, as opposed to 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours'. @L-u-c-y would assimilate to the Cleopatra in my reference. The emotion that would emanate from this, would quite rightly question the motive of a lesser level of worship and devotion. In my world, this is a rare but most welcomed elevation of female status.

 

Food with no spice tastes like food. Well would you believwe that.

Spice is ok of course ..... if you don't like the tast of the food in the first place.

I alweays remember my grandad telling me after about 10 days out at sea instead of food we used to get curries and the like.... no refridgeration you see so the fact the meat had turned was just covered up.

Just remember if it tastes hot that's natures way of saying don't eat this stupid..

 

As ones submissive side develops is not what Lucy describes the goal fo the submissive male. Selfless servitude. I can't help wondering if this is not something worth tring or working toweards.

Like most of @L-u-c-y 's threads .... some more interesting food for thought.

 

you are not right or wrong, to do that which works for your relationship

 

We are all people and do what we feel is right for the relationship we have and if it works. Therefore no one else can comment on that, because they are not in said situation.

 

I know what you mean, but your point regarding not commenting does sort of fly in the face of a forum. If you mean no-one can deign whether something is right or wrong, then in the general sense i agree, but again, i do wonder what is real D/s and what is play/fantasy etc. As a reference point, my thoughts on real D/s, tend to gravitate towards @L-u-c-y 's lifestyle, the others are more mutual pleasure syndromes.

 

My wife has and does dominate me or spank me because she knows I need it. There does come a tipping point where our very relationship exists on a higher frequency whil regular life continues as normal.
So the question is really, “Does she do these things to me for me or to add magic to the relationship hich ultimately serves her?”yes we do play with chastity, but lately I have had nut ache when I am in any CB.

I have been on a welding project. She painted my toenails red 2 days ago. Usually she does this and allows me to take the polish off after I serve her. (Yea, I know this site is supposed to stick to chastity!)

Several of my man friends have come over. My wife seems to slide into the shop through the side door while my friends are visiting. She makes it a point to say something about red paint or just makes a funny expression to me with them present.
Who can say what is her motivation? I will say this: I love the excitement that keeps our relationship fresh. I REALLY don’t want my buddies to see my toes!

 

Since Male chastity is mainly a male only fantasy (probably 99.99999% of those actually interested in male chastity)... wouldn't it be safe to say that nearly all males are actually "topping from the bottom"?

I'm sure many a chastity conversation goes like this....

"Oh, my mistress I am yours to do as you wish. You can lock me up for the amount of time I want to try to be locked up for and you can pretend that it was your idea. I will pretend to be uncontrollably frustrated by you making a huge extra effort to tease me wearing sexy lingerie that I approve of that you really don't even want to wear.... bla, bla, bla... etc!!!".

The ideal "fantasy woman" for a man into male chastity ,would have to be able to read his mind and then do all that he wants, without letting him know that she knows what he wants and then maybe throw in a few "curve balls" to keep him guessing what might be coming next, right?

However, there probably aren't very many women out there that can actually read minds. So, sorry to say... the ultimate male chastity fantasy is just that, a fantasy. KEEP DREAMING.

Real women will want a man that would NEVER want to be locked in chastity. A man that is dominant, strong and in control. Then when that women take control of that powerful, controlling man, she will feel ultimate control. A woman that can control a "sissy male" or a very submissive male will feel very unsatisfied compared to the woman that can control an ALPHA MALE.

I guess the bottom line is this... What women would find it satisfying to control a sissy, weak, very submissive male? Where's the satisfaction in that?

Just my thoughts... Curious what others REALLY think.

 

More often than not, BLACK is BLACK and WHITE is WHITE. It may be hard to accept the facts but seriously, what "REAL" woman would find satisfaction, or a sense of accomplishment in controlling a sissy, an outwardly submissive male??

It would be kinda like getting satisfaction out of winning a 50 yard dash against snails.... Wow, I won! Look at me! However, controlling a strong and dominant man, now that would be real satisfaction for a woman, right?

 

Well, I guess there are those that would get satisfaction from winning a sprint with snails. From my perspective, not really a fair fight.

But seriously, it's all part of the fantasy, which is okay. Fantasies are not a bad thing.

 

I'm not saying that there are not females that want to make their male counterparts happy. I do believe that many females will go to great lengths to make males happy for a number of reasons. I'm just saying that they are NOT playing along with the male-chastity game because if gives them a sense of real accomplishment-they are playing along for other reasons.

 

Ohhhh, I see. The women that like controlling men that are already submissive are not on this site. You know them from somewhere else... Hmmmmm, I wonder where women like this can be found? Not saying you haven't found them, just saying I can't see what's in it for them???

 

I don't want to sound offensive here to anyone... I'm just making a point that all this Male-Chastity play stuff is just a fantasy (Fantasies are ok in my mind). But when we make up outlandish stories about all women wanting to control submissive men, we are doing a big disservice to other men here looking for ways to find satisfaction their male-chastity expectations.

 

I think I’m going to add my two pence in on this debate.

Everyone is different. Period.

I have a vanilla relationship. I have a D/S relationship as well.

Both relationships are beneficial and work. However, to state that all women want a dominant man is not a fair representation. I had never experienced chastity until I was introduced to it in a friendship capacity first.
This introduction has helped me to determine that it isn’t just the control element that men and women seek out in these kind of relationships. Well, not for me anyway.
It’s the trust and need for pressure to be released from a very conformed and regimented stigma that is attached to men and women.

We’ve been taught that men are strong and women are weak. Men are big. Women are small. This isn’t a power struggle. This is two people that want to change things up.
Break away from the stereotypes and essentially do something they enjoy and works for them as human beings regardless of what sex they are.

What works for some may not work for others but the pigeon holing and stating opinions as facts needs to be really looked at.

In the words of Evelyn Hall, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it“

LP

 

I like your thinking! In a way, I think we are saying the same thing. I don't personally think that one sex is superior to the other. I also don't think that one ALWAYS has to be dominant over the other. Individually we all have strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are. I admire and maybe even worship some of the characteristics that are more so unique to women... sensuality, creativity, intuitive, emotional intelligence... etc.

For some reason or another, I have been obsessed with male-chastity for may years. Luckily I have a wife that has made and effort to understand this and help me play out my "fantasy". Yes, fantasy... Any male knows he could "cut the lock", say STOP, or even go to the police if he was being unfairly controlled... As males playing the "chastity game" we agree not to do these things (if nothing more, at least to ourselves). In other words, we make parameters that we can live with and then try to play the game within these parameters. No mater how much thought goes into it, it is still just a game. If either the male or the female doesn't follow the rules, the game looses its intrigue.

However, when we misrepresent "the game" to others, without explaining all of its nuances, then we do a real disservice to others.

 

Thank you for another deep thought, @L-u-c-y

So ...
I am definitely a submissive when it comes to our relationship. But that doesn't mean in all ways - we are equals when it comes to making decisions that affect both of us or for matters of running the household.
I serve her so she can relax and enjoy life. She didn't train or condition me to be the way I am - but me living an FLR life was certainly an ingredient of the attraction 25 years ago.

I do not attach strings to my actions. I do what I do because I want to do that as a gift to another. I'm not looking for credit or reciprocation. Giving is the gift for me.

My wife is not a Domme in the 'controlling me' sense. Its been a topic of discussion on and off for decades & we have gone through stages to be sure.

Does she do things for me?
Sure, you betcha!
But its not because I top from the bottom - its because she wants to do it.

Both of us do not look at things in terms of 'right' and 'wrong' ... rather, in a non-judgmental 'it is what it is' way.
My lovely wife has just as open a mind as I do - and would appreciate that another would be free to choose to live their life differently.

I would encourage each and every one of us to be who we are. 100%!
Only when we are genuine can we love ourselves and others.

 

If they don't respect your personal beliefs, they are being judgy. People that pass judgements are dick/cunts and not very evolved.

You be you and if one needs to generalize please remember to state in it "one's statement" with on average -or- presuming a traditional view of X, Y, or Z .... (i.e. use words not assumptions or inflections).

 

So, I came home from work today after reading some postings on here. The hubby did a few no no things, although he was very well behaved yesterday, but as I told him, that was yesterday and this is today. He was free last night but no such luck tonight. I locked my pet up and sent him off to work. Now he is thinking about sex and when I will decide to let him out or what to do with him.
I take pleasure in the unknown. I'm getting the hang of this!