Do you have any secrets from your wife?

We have been together since we 15 years old. There wasn't much of a past to worry about. We
pretty much grew up together and closer through all the tough years that growing up can throw
at you.

We have both gone through everything together that sometimes I forget there was ever a time
we weren't together. She knows me inside out and upside down. She knows if something is bothering
me and has always been my anchor. Nothing left to hide.

 

I know from earlier posts that your wife was pretty much out of the picture. I have seen you happy
with the progress over the years. If I want to talk about the properties of 316 stainless steel, she wouldn't really be interested. I am a machinist so I might talk about that to someone like myself.

I have enjoyed some of your reviews and opinions and it has drawn me to this place at the start.
I am very happy that your recent post was a very positive one between you two. We here at CM
enjoy each other's company and no one gets hurt. You be there for her, we will be here for you
when needed. Don't worry I won't tell. lol

 

thats what i love about this site, this is what the site was created for to help and support each other. I love everything about my kinks and would happily spend most of my time engaged in it either verbally or physically given the chance, for my wife it is more a little scratch that she kindly scratches for me

 

I do...….to my shame and sorrow.

 

Living in a full time WLM has helped me communicate better with my wife. We take time every Sunday after breakfast to go back to bed and talk about the past week and our week coming. My wife is wearing whatever sleepwear she wore to bed. I'm required to strip to my panties and cage and wear my leather collar. It's very different talking when you're are almost naked and your wife is clothed. She wants to know everything and over time it's got easier to confess all my secrets to her. Some are very humiliating to talk about.
As her submissive I am given this time to talk openly about what I think without fear of punishment. Anything goes. Once we are done talking I am back to my submission, doing my chores and keeping my mouth shut.
It's been during these open conversations that I was able to confess my desire to cross dress. What humiliating things happened to me growing up and what I would like to try. She will talk about things she would like to see happen. It's all very helpful

Not being able to talk to her about these secrets would have kept all of it the closet. What they say is true, talk, talk, talk is the key.

I would suggest that couples take the time to talk.

 

You are not alone. Last night my wife suggested that the real me might be the fem side, the side that comes when I’m locked or penetrated.

When I challenged her why would the locked side be the real manifestation of me and not my unlocked manly one, she just smiled but didn’t have an annswer.

So we went through all the challenges of what if. What if the fem side was allowed to flourish, some 25 years too late, maybe 35 years... and what we discovered is this:

When we face consequences on tough life-changing decisions, they are usually dealt with on the ‘real me’ path. If they are not, then it’s probably more of a fetish than a ‘real me.’

We did go back in time and explored the tough decisions at various phases and stages, and I now have to admit that the more I look into it, the more I realize that what many of us (older) experience here (not all of us,) is a unique combo of circumstances:

1. Reduced production of testosterone
2. Increase of estrogen
3. Sexual intoxication from denial
4. Endless supply of supporting photos
5. A strong metoo movement that fuels the fantasies
6. The relief of the need in to lead with the need to execute orders
7. And don’t forget every man is at least 50% X chromosome which makes all the above so much more susceptible...

I’m not saying anything above is wrong. I love it, but I no longer think it’s a ‘real me,’ just a fetish that goes 100 miles further than most.

XO

 

A simple question that defies a simple answer.


Do I have secrets I keep from her?
Not any big ones.

Are there things about me or my past that I haven't told her about?
Ohh, sure.

Are those things kept from her by design or intent?
Not a bit - some things about me she doest really care to know.

Does she know that if she asks me any question about me, my choices, my past, my intentions, my kinks, etc ... I will answer with 100% honestly?
Absolutely, yes.


I am not surprised to read that more than a few have found it troublesome to share because they want to be honest & up front only to find it leads to occasional backfiring.

To me its related to a post I made a while ago - I forgot what Thread it was under ...
It was the famous Zen question:
"What is more important - Honesty or Kindness?"

The truth is its a balance - brutal honesty can be unkind & a lack of honesty can also. To me it comes down to a question of Timing.

 

Some of us are idealists and some are realists. The reality is that not that many of us have the freedom to live our ideal life. If you have an understanding wife/girlfriend, it makes it easy to be honest and open about kinky stuff. If your wife/girlfriend is less than understanding, it's best to keep quiet. Total honesty has probably enhanced some relationships and broken others.

I do have a fairly open minded girlfriend and she has been very understanding about some of my kinks, but sadly, there are some that I know I can never tell her. I'm grateful for what I have.

 

Mistress L-u-c-y
Sorry but the answers are no i haven't.

 

I have a few things I haven't told her, but no I am mostly completely honest with her. If she asks me a question I give her a full and honest answer, so my lack of honesty is more linked to when she doesn't ask a question and I don't offer information. A lie by omission.

For example I recently instigated a ruined orgasm by accident. I was locked in my device during the extremely hot weather. My balls which before chastity were high and tight were now half way to my knees. I was seeing how far I could pull them apart, not trying to do anything other than marvelling at how different they looked. Then I noticed that pulling them apart like that felt nice, so I puled harder. Then it happened, before I cold stop it I had a ruined orgasm. I was devastated. I wasn't masturbating, but I was playing with my balls.

I told her that I had the ruined orgasm, but not how it came about. If she had asked I would have told her. She didn't. I was disgusted with myself and haven't tried that activity again!

 

The secrets i keep from my wife are simply the fact that i do go online and visit a couple of sites such as this one where i have become a member and can read and share my fascination with everything chastity orientated.
without this outlet over the years i would probably have gone insane trying to understand just why i had these desires and fetishes with my wife constantly comparing me to her friends whose husbands apparently were all totally normal. She would literally leave me in an instant should she ever discover i have conversed with other "strange" people over the internet let alone posted pictures of some of my own

 

I used to have a lot more secrets than I have since being under Her control!

 

I have shared just about all of my fantasies, fetishes, and kinks with my wife. Most of them we share, but some not. There are one or two things I haven't told her that I think would hurt her or put doubts in her mind.

To be clear, I've never cheated on her. But, for instance, I have some bi tendencies, which I think she can probably tell, but I haven't told her the full extent of that - i.e., I really want to worship another man's cock, like just get down on my knees and lick and suck and worship a cock and balls until it unloads in my mouth or on my face. She knows I want her to cuckold me and that I want to lick her clit while she's taking a cock and also that I want to eat her lover's cum after, so I guess she knows I'm comfortable with some deviation from hetero norms, but she doesn't know the full extent, and things she's said make me think she wouldn't like it so I don't discuss it.

I'm not a good liar, and I don't like lying. So there may be a couple things I haven't come out and told her, but there's nothing she could ask me that I wouldn't answer honestly.

 

When it comes to sexual desires, pretty much everything I like has been put on the table. Although sometimes my wife thinks its a joke, when i am actually serious. Like when i suggest that she brings her attractive female friend into our D/s relationship, either as another dom or another sub. Or when i tell her i like to be choked during sex. Or when i suggest we become swingers. I guess its because i dont have the balls to ask her for these things directly, so i "test the waters" by bringing it up in a joking manner. But for the most part, i dont keep any of my sexual desires from her.

 

Anyone who has been married 10+ years knows how to handle marital information. Honestly is important but overrated -- what's more important is judgment and consistency.

Couples that stay together a long time avoid the trap of perfectionism or trying to solve every problem in a relationship. Not talking about stuff is often better.

Its the un-married or serial monogamists who tend to have idealistic or hard line or black and white views of marital behavior.

 

If you've even been asked one of those "Do you think..." questions, you'll understand that the answer is not black and white.

 

Of course, even my wife doesn't know every thought in my head but I try to share the important stuff.

My sexual appetites are more diverse and interesting than hers and in some cases she has asked that I not share too much in a particular direction. I have honored her request.

I'm a good husband, a great dad and we love each other deeply.

I have found that our intimacy is much better when I share but I also need to be wary of topics that make her uncomfortable and don't push her down a path she doesn't want to travel. I keep that to myself and focus on what she enjoys or tolerates.

 

Absolutely none

 

Well ... you ask it like "are you reporting in?"

We "know" or should I say discussed "everything" on some level at some time during our marriage. From there we learned what our common interests are ... and we share those VERY readily ... but things that we do not share as an interest we don't discuss. We in no way are "hiding" it from one another, we just know that the other has no interest so we respect that, but if asked about it we would 100% discuss it.

 

I try to. I’ve had a very strong conscience my entire life, and generally find it difficult to keep things from people I care about, especially my wife.

 

If I read something kinky online that was similar to our kinks, I would tell her about it. She encouraged me to post details of are kinky sex life. She never reads them, but I tell her all about the things I write.

 

I want her to take more control and I suppose I am worried that if I tell her then I may regret it!
I know she would too!

 

Married 23 yrs and I don’t think you get that far with keeping many secrets, and I feel that’s both ways. For those of you who’ve been reading my posts you’ll know that my biggest secret, and regret is that I’m locked and she doesn’t know it. I do try and serve her as best I can and I am working towards another chastity discussion.

 

My wife would never read anything on one of these sites

 

Mine too! I did once suggest it and she told me no! She believes in our own 'version' noy anybody elses!
I do enjoy these forums very much personally