Vanilla ladies, please recommend a chastity book.

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by LoneMan, May 26, 2018.

Top Posters
Page 1 of 2
Random Thread
  1. LoneMan
    Offline

    LoneMan Active member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2017
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:31 PM
    #1 LoneMan, May 26, 2018
    My wife is not interested in participating in chastity with me, but recently allowed me to wear my cage when I’m not around her. I seem to have a very difficult time expressing to her why I have the desire to have her control my erections and orgasms.

    What books have the vanilla ladies read that shed light, in a vanilla manner, as to why a guy wants his junk locked up.

    I’d like to ask her if she would read a book about it, and be able to provide an appropriate book if she would agree.

    Thank you in advance ladies.
     
  2. luckyhubby83
    Offline

    luckyhubby83 Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2018
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    716
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:31 PM
    #2 luckyhubby83, May 26, 2018
    Don’t push the issue too soon after introducing it if she is not that receptive.
    The idea will fester in her mind if there is any interest at all. when she sees you wearing thendevice when she isn’t around it may tell her that this means a lot to you and she may then want to learn more about it. If she doesn’t, again don’t push it as that will run counter to what you want to accomplish as she will resent this new kink you exposed
     
    Goddess Gaia and corsac like this.
  3. LoneMan
    Offline

    LoneMan Active member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2017
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:31 PM
    #3 LoneMan, May 26, 2018
    I first had a conversation with my wife about a year ago about my interest in chastity. I recently confided with her that I was to the point of begging to be allowed to wear the cage. Thats when she told me I could wear it when I’m not around her.
    I so much would like to give her a back massage while wearing the cage and have shared that with her. To this point, she has not allowed me to do that.
    Ultimately, I would like her to allow me to make love to her while remaining caged. I so enjoy providing her with orgasms. The added excitement would be not knowing if she would unlock me or not.
    Working hard at staying patient.
    Thanks for the response luckyhubby83
     
  4. bondinchas
    Offline

    bondinchas Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    3,193
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #4 bondinchas, May 28, 2018
    If you want to encourage her interest, then look at how you've expressed yourself:
    "why I have the desire",
    "have her control my erections and orgasms"
    "why a guy wants his junk locked up"

    Is there anything in the above that says what she is going to get out of it?

    If you want her to dominate you, then you have to be submissive.
    Being submissive includes being frustrated because she isn't "performing" as you want her to!
    If you are truly submissive, then she will appreciate it and make the connections.
     
    Dogchasecats and Rectrix like this.
  5. b_quark
    Offline

    b_quark Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    728
    Likes Received:
    1,501
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    3:31 PM
    #5 b_quark, Jul 5, 2018
    I definitely feel that it's best you honor her wishes. That said, the first time the topic of chastity came up in our marriage my wife was similarly not interested and not wanting to participate. She didn't tell me not to buy the device, and she didn't tell me not to wear. She just said she didn't have any interest in making me wear it or in holding the key. Now, again, she did not explicitly tell me not to wear it in her presence, so that's a clear difference from your situation. Also, we were already dabbling in some other Dom/sub stuff, SPH, light cuckold roleplay, etc. so it wasn't as if the idea of chastity was terribly far from where we were already, at least in my mind.

    In our case, what happened is that I started wearing a CB-6000s one day and told her so. She wasn't even curious to see it that day and reiterated that she didn't want the key, so I just tucked it away in a drawer. I wore the device for a few more days, and neither of us spoke about it. I started to feel more romantic toward her and kissed her more often, rubbed her back briefly but often, did things around the house without her asking, responded more quickly and affirmatively when she did ask for things. I know it's kind of cliche that only a few days locked up would make such a difference, but consider that left to my own devices I masturbate A LOT and that translates directly into less time and effort put into the marriage. Anyway, she did not fail to notice the change, and thankfully she was able to quickly associate it with my chastity. That led to an open and honest and two-way conversation about it, and that in turn led to her being my keyholder and loving it.
     
    Yumbojones, bondinchas, Rectrix and 1 other person like this.
  6. Muzzo4you
    Offline

    Muzzo4you Bored and looking to find a play partner

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2016
    Messages:
    180
    Likes Received:
    379
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NC, USA
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #6 Muzzo4you, Jul 5, 2018
    @LoneMan

    Not that I was allowed to read it (and so it may be all wrong for the direction you desire to head down), but "How to Set Up an FLR" by Georiga Ivey Green sounds like it may provide her some insight.

    As noted above, you must focus on what she gets out of this - not yours - if you want the dynamic to proceed.

    Good luck mate!
     
    locked17, Goddess Gaia and bondinchas like this.
  7. Rectrix
    Online

    Rectrix Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,690
    Likes Received:
    5,941
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #7 Rectrix, Jul 6, 2018
    The classic vanilla book is Around Her Finger by Ken Addison.
     
    Goddess Gaia likes this.
  8. CJ's hubby
    Offline

    CJ's hubby Active member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2016
    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    137
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Arizona
    Local Time:
    2:31 PM
    #8 CJ's hubby, Jul 19, 2018
    For about the first six months to a year I was pretty discouraged that my Wife/Queen/Key Holder was not very enthused about this whole chastity 'thing'. At time it was a fun play thing. Then the longer I was caged I took on more of the household duties and pretty much do everything but the cooking, which I am prohibited from doing. I bring my Queen her coffee every morning in bed and have her breakfast ready for her return from her morning walk. I still think our lifestyle is still pretty vanilla.

    Then one day I realized that this is what I had asked for and got and the 'thing' turned more into a life style change and I feel we are both happier. Now she has come to realize what withholding my orgasm is to her benefit. We still have our play time, sometime I am even let out of my cage. Now I prefer ruined or denied orgasms as it takes a few weeks to reach that stage again. And I now feel uncomfortable when I am not wearing my cage.

    Now we are both happier and we seem to communicate better too.

    I have read in here many time to "Be careful what you ask for..."
     
  9. lockedpaul
    Offline

    lockedpaul New member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #9 lockedpaul, Jul 20, 2018
    My wife is very vanilla, and the book that got her started with chastity was Lucy Fairbourne's 'Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders'. It's a non-threatening book that doesn't diverge into other kinks. It's also written with the perspective that it's likely to have been given to a woman by her partner.
     
    Goddess Gaia and HeForHer like this.
  10. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,656
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #10 Mascara^Snake, Jul 20, 2018
    I can also recommend this book.
     
    HeForHer likes this.
  11. kinkyvirgin
    Offline

    kinkyvirgin New member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2018
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:31 PM
    #11 kinkyvirgin, Aug 18, 2018
    bondinchas likes this.
  12. Guest 3729
    Offline

    Guest 3729 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    2,522
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    3:31 PM
    #12 Guest 3729, Aug 20, 2018
    I know you were looking for recommendations from the ladies but I ended up finding a good book for my wife when we first started. My wife similarly wasn't interested and I couldn't find the right words to express myself. The book did the talking for me and my wife agreed to give it a try. Now here we are 3 years later.... the book I bought her is simply titled Male Chastity and it was written by Lucy Fairbourne, I found it on Amazon. It helped her understand what benefits there could be for her and our relationship (non sexual as well as sexual). The book covers many of the different facets of chastity to help give an overall idea of the lifestyle without being at all heavy on BDSM or kink. I think it's a good icebreaker for vanilla women.
     
    LoneMan likes this.
  13. ingwer
    Offline

    ingwer Active member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Architect
    Local Time:
    12:31 AM
    #13 ingwer, Aug 28, 2018
    I promised not to do it anymore, due to the complications it brings to me, but I can not resist if I can help a "brother" in need.
    If you are pleased with the PDF version, I can send on email all three of the above mentioned books, to which I will add, for a boost of knowledge, by the same authors: How To Set Up An FLR - Georgia Ivey Green, Femdom for Nice Girls - Lucy Fairbourne and the famous book from the famous author: Female Domination - Elise Sutton.:)
    Whoever is interested can send me a message with the email address and I will respond soon when the adult life allows me. ;) (books will be in a archive,hope you have winrar, if not specify)
     
  14. Guiness
    Offline

    Guiness Active member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2018
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Manager
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    London
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #14 Guiness, Sep 24, 2018

    Yes we found this was a good balanced read but she read this after an article that I found on Tickleberry http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/male-chastity/lock-him-up/ which was the first gentle introduction to something she was freaked out by at first
     
    Robinoh likes this.
  15. Ivanhoe
    Offline

    Ivanhoe New member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2016
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:31 PM
    #15 Ivanhoe, Oct 3, 2018
    Nice thread. I was wondering which of the mentioned resources digs into the concept of ruined orgasms?
     
  16. lockedpaul
    Offline

    lockedpaul New member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #16 lockedpaul, Oct 3, 2018
    I've searched in 'Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders' and 'Be Careful What You Wish For' and neither cover it.
     
  17. KittensProperty
    Offline

    KittensProperty Kitten's Happy Property

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2018
    Messages:
    421
    Likes Received:
    827
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired (Twice) 20 yrs Marine and 22 yrs Mail Man
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Texas Hill Country
    Local Time:
    4:31 PM
    #17 KittensProperty, Oct 5, 2018
    I left "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders" on Kitten's pillow sealed in an envelope with a letter from me printed on it. Over 5 days she read the book and her attitude went from disgust and refusal to intrigue to acceptance. Six days after that I heard the click as she snapped the lock closed on a CB3000.

    Chaste Letter.jpeg
     
    sissy_connie, Brat2lck, Goddess Gaia and 2 others like this.
  18. Staylocked
    Offline

    Staylocked Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2018
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    272
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    KC
    Local Time:
    4:31 PM
    #18 Staylocked, Nov 27, 2018
    Sarah Jameson's, be careful what you wish for: a guide to male chastity.
    Comprehensive and she applies just the right bit of humor. Very non-threatening, she does not live an flr, so imo, great for vanilla couples.
     
    Goddess Gaia likes this.
  19. Lady Jessica's Danny
    Offline

    Lady Jessica's Danny In the hands of my Valkyrie

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2012
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    299
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey, United States
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #19 Lady Jessica's Danny, Feb 13, 2019
    My Princess wasn't interested either. It's your job to show her what can be achieved. I started without a device. Honor system. Rub her back and legs. Do the laundry. Make the beds. Cook. Clean. Treat her like royalty. A myriad of things that aren't sexy now, but will be once you're in full swing.

    In bed, give her an orgasm. Make sure you dont. Tell her this was about her. Tell her you want to wait.

    Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

    She'll ask about your orgasm and you tell her, "When you want me to have one. When I deserve it." Let her know there's no tricks, that you you want it, that you'll earn it.

    I introduced the cage later. She's still not crazy about wearing the key.

    She puts it in the inside pocket of whatever handbag she uses for the day ;)
     
    Rectrix and tiruh811 like this.
  20. coffee2sugars
    Offline

    coffee2sugars Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2014
    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    320
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Private Health Care
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northamptonshire UK
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #20 coffee2sugars, Feb 25, 2019
    @Mistress Jules has written some books. You should have a look at her amazon store.
     
  21. henry58
    Offline

    henry58 Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2018
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    452
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:31 PM
    #21 henry58, Feb 25, 2019
    In my experience, a show of some semblance of tolerance is not always the start of a journey. More likely when someone agrees to something that are not 'in to', it's more about 'if this is the worst that can happen, i'll put up with it!' Any advice offered that suggests not pushing things, is sound. And yes, life is hard when one is a submissive and one's SO is just not biting. Be patient though... you never know;)
     
  22. FLRemporium
    Offline

    FLRemporium New member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #22 FLRemporium, Mar 8, 2019
    JM Scott has a couple books on Amazon, a practical guide to FLR and v2 both are really not hard core and have views from a ladies point of view. Might be a good start.
     
  23. Mactastic
    Offline

    Mactastic Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2016
    Messages:
    308
    Likes Received:
    410
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Homemaker, Financial Analyst
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Tampa, FL, USA
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #23 Mactastic, Mar 12, 2019
    So let me get this straight... She told you that she wasn't interested... So you want her to do some work... By reading a book... To understand why you want your junk in a trunk... Are you trying to get her to hate you?

    Tell you what... I'm going to save you a whole lot of headache...
    1. Learn how to cook, and shop for all groceries
    2. Never make her touch a dirty dish again
    3. Wash all the clothes, fold them, put them away
    4. Wash and vacuum her car
    5. Make her bed every morning
    6. Plan all vacations to completion for the next year
    7. Vacuum the house twice a week
    8. Take her somewhere romantic and make every conversation open ended questions like, "Tell me about your day today." or "Could you please tell me more about that time something interesting happened when you were a kid?" or "Where was your favorite vacation." or "Describe the perfect man..." (they all say Ryan Gosling but I think his eyes are crooked). Don't talk about yourself or your opinion.
    9. Stop trying to convince her that you need chastity and abstain from masturbation for a month. See how it affects your life...
    10. Don't ask her to read a book..... Because she won't... Because if she gave you a book on how to paint fingernails you wouldn't open it.... So don't expect her to read a book about locking your boner up.

    Good luck.
     
    JoyDivision, tiruh811 and Consensus like this.
  24. Lady Jessica's Danny
    Offline

    Lady Jessica's Danny In the hands of my Valkyrie

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2012
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    299
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey, United States
    Local Time:
    5:31 PM
    #24 Lady Jessica's Danny, Mar 12, 2019
    What he said ;)
     
    Miffy and Consensus like this.
  25. chastity_pantyhose
    Offline

    chastity_pantyhose Active member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2018
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    34
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Local Time:
    4:31 AM
    #25 chastity_pantyhose, Mar 22, 2019
    maybe you have to make her see this website,
    and you directing her to every thread in this website
     
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Accept Learn More...
    Dismiss Notice