I was reading a twitter thread recently where a sub was questioning their worth to a Domme. It made me think of the first time my previous long term sub realised his worth. @lockit was in London and the sub was to attend club to help out. I had been in the Dungeon all day and club was being held in the Dungeon. Cue much moving of furniture and personal equipment. I received a call to ask if it was suitable for the sub to arrive at the Dungeon. He knew not to just turn up at the door without checking first. I advised him that it was perfectly fine for him to come to the Dungeon and could he pick up some food on the way. He arrived a few minutes later with some hot food and cake as he couldn’t decide what I had meant when I said I wanted food. It was when we sat eating that he said how confused he had been when I asked for food. He had never thought of me doing something as simple as eating. He knew I was spending from 10am until 2am in the Dungeon, he knew I probably wouldn’t go out, yet he hadn’t thought of the simple act of eating. It is easy for @lockit, he knows me so well and is very good at thinking of things that make my life easier. Things like putting a ticket on the car when the first one is running out, so I don’t have to think about it. Making sure I have plenty cold water on hot days and making sure I have cake. None of these are sexy or titillating but these small services which make things easier are a godsend to those of us with busy lives. Your worth to your Mistress is not only in kink related actions and it increases exponentially when you make their daily life a bit easier without being asked.
@Mistress Jules. I never really thought about that until She got very loud when I say something negitive about myself. I'm always the comeback kid when someone says something. Even joking She doesn't like to hear it. She says I insult Her choice of me when I say stupid things. She has made me better by thinking about what I say to others also. Might not sound like much but it really hit home with me.
A few months ago I dropped my phone and smashed the screen. A sub offered to come round and collect the phone and get it fixed for me. By the end of the day he had returned it with a new screen, and he even offered to pay for it. He didn't do this because it turned him on, he just wanted to help. Some may say I used him by accepting his offer. Is it using someone to accept an offer of kindness? Maybe it is. All I know is I loved the gesture and I like him even more than I did before
You were the beneficiary of an enlightened soul, imho. Then again I imagine you were not surprised as what goes around comes around.
I think we should all be a bit more willing to help each other sub or not. @L-u-c-y how did you feel about letting a stranger walk off with your phone though? What if he didn’t bring it back?
I remember reading a posting on a thread on fet life some years ago (and I wish I had saved it or screen shot it ) where a sub was talking about when he is out and about with his mistress . "When we go to a party or social gathering, I take her coat , get her a drink and anything else she wants , during the course of the evening we will be chatting with others however I will regularly check in with her to make sure her drink is topped up or whether she wants me to get her some food etc etc , I pull her seat out for her , hold doors open for her ....... Do I do these things just because I'm her sub ? Hell no I do these things because I love her to bits and love making her happy and proud " I'm typing from memory so probably missed things out but it was so lovely to read especially the part where he said about her face when her friends compliment her on having such a wonderful and caring partner . The way I see it is while the lady may be a mistress/domme/owner or whatever titles she may be wished to be addressed as they are still human beings above all else and have needs and emotions just like the rest of us so doing the "small things" even when not in a kink scene can be a big benefit to her and help her if it's done with the right intentions like the guy who wrote the post on fet . In "fantasy land" some guys seem to forget that or at the very least don't think about the "small stuff" .
Loved that @Mistress Jules Everything a D/s does doesn't have to be related to their kink. Maybe 95% of our day is just normal things - like eating together. Sometimes simple company is better than anything else. Then again - we have lived together for 25 years.
I honestly find that my non sexual servitude to my Queen is much more appreciated than any servitude I can provide in the bedroom. Having a house full of children and a husband that is continually on the road means her life is so hectic and tiresome. As both a dedicated mother and dominant wife she has her loving hands very full. With me on the road the only servitude I can provide is emotional and financial. That unfortunately does not deal with the mound of laundry and overflowing dishes. By the time I return she is literally worn out and in need of her submissive to get to work. When I perform the domestic duties I take my job very seriously, almost to a white glove level. I do this to please her not because of my upbringing. If the laundry is not folded how she likes I refold it. If the kitchen is not rearranged how she likes it I put the way she wants. My worth to her is that she is simply allowed to take a break from life while I cater to her every need.
If my worth to my Bride was purely kink related I would have been tossed to the curb long ago, no doubt. Domestic and personal servitude is a daily demanding fact of life. I think this is something that anyone who is truly committed to serve and submit to their partner strives for.
Hubby's worth to me?? That is easy. Since I control all the finances, he is worth exactly what he makes every month. Not more and not less. I can hire help if I want to and sex is only for other guys anyways. But I have to admit, I do love him