Males pretending to be females, is it harmful or harmless fun?

Ohh, indeed!
Like most Zen questions, it gets more complicated the more you think about it.

Without writing a chapter of a book ...
The Zen answer is: A balance of timing that is constantly changing.

So yes, not being bluntly honest in the wrong moment is kind. And I would want that for me when I need it. That does not mean that in a different moment people cant revisit the conversation to fill in the blanks & bring the truth into better balance.

[Dr John wrote a great song about being in the Right Place Wrong Time. Not quite the same thing other than it being an example of how bad things can get with the wrong timing.]

I love these threads - they can be both enlightening to others & bring self awareness.

 

Defiantly harmful especially if it's yourself who's been lied to (puts hand up yes been caught ages back).

 

Interestingly, there's a story about this very subject in the news today.

https://wqad.com/2018/08/01/illinoi...-accuses-him-of-posting-nudes-catfishing-men/

 

Wierd, I clicked the link and got a ‘this content is not available in your region’ notice. I’ve never had that happen before.

 

same here. It may be to do with GDPR. A lot of American sites blocked European sites or IPs to get round the data protection nightmare that is GDPR.

 

I'll take the minority opinion, and disagree with L-u-c-y on this one. (although I greatly appreciate her efforts at exposing an imposter here recently) I just don't see that there's any real harm. Anyone on the internet for any length of time has to be aware that things may not be what they seem. (If there's anyone that still believes everyything they read here, there's something wrong) If you go into every online experience with that understanding, you won't have a problem.

Plus (and this may be more practical) there's no way to stop it from happening. Every online community has this issue. I'd be willing to bet there are still people posting here as women who are really men. In fact, I'd bet a LOT on that. All you can do is expose them when you can.

Since there is nothing you can do about it, stressing over it just does YOU harm. Just don't worry about it, while remaining aware that nothing you see online is an absolute.

 

That's what I was going to suggest. Instead of updating their sites to comply with the new European law, they just blocked access to it.

I'll post the story itself in a separate post.

 

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois (Illinois News Network) — State Rep. Nick Sauer, R-Lake Barrington, is expected to resign from office today after being accused by an ex-girlfriend of publishing nude photos of her on Instagram to catfish other men.

The woman filed a complaint with the Office of the Legislative Inspector General, Politico reported Wednesday morning. Politico reported that in the complaint the woman said Sauer used a fake Instagram account “to catfish other men using my privately shared naked photos. Nick would use this account to direct message men with my photos to engage in graphic conversations of a sexual nature. The men believed they were communicating with me and Nick shared private details of my life.”

House Republican Leader Jim Durkin said Sauer would resign.

The woman filed a report with the Chicago Police Department, according to Politico.

State Sen. Dan McConchie, R-Hawthorn Woods, said Sauer “has made the right decision to resign his seat.”

Sauer could not immediately be reached for comment Wednesday.

Sauer, a first-term lawmaker, ran unopposed for the District 51 seat in 2016 after former State Rep. Ed Sullivan Jr. decided not to run for re-election.

 

Harmful. The chastity-based dynamic is based on trust. And trust extends to the community in which we discuss our interests, desires and sometimes things evolve into relationships in different ways. If you can't trust someone to be the person they say they are, how can there be other forms of trust?

 

Thanks for posting that story @RangerCuck. I think that we can all agree that in that instance a woman was very definitely harmed, and worse still by someone she trusted. MS also harmed people as they were a prominent member of this forum and trust is a massive part of the D/s dynamic. They abused that trust.

Ok, as far as I am aware nobody has been physically hurt by MS, but that isn’t the point is it. Mental anguish is very real. The woman whose photos MS stole has been hurt. She doesn’t know how male chastity doesn’t have to involve some of the extremes that we all know exist. All she knows is that for 9 years some weirdo on the Internet was pretending to be her.

It isn’t harmless fun at all. A lot of people who have posted to this forum come across as vulnerable and MS exploited that. Others will read forum posts by ‘women’ and wonder why their partner isn’t as exciting, or have unrealistic expectations when starting a chastity based lifestyle.

If you read this and you are a man pretending to be a woman, or if you are someone with two accounts having fake conversations with yourself, one male and one female, here’s an idea.

STOP IT. NOW. GET A LIFE.

 

I guess my main concern for this is men pretending to be women for financial gain. We all know there are many people out there who are only really into "femdom" for findom reasons. Which is fine if you have a fndom fetish, but being duped into handing over money to a person who is not "as advertised" is potentially very harmful. Especially if they grow an emotional attachment over time too. Obviously, this is why, in general, such relationships online are high risk at the best of times.
For me, it is inevitable that there will be men masquerading as women on here. The same as it is inevitable there will be men embellishing their own achievements with chastity on here. It's a sad fact of life that humans always want to appear better than they are because of their own insecurities.

Is it harmful? I don't know, in a weird way, MS did contribute to this forum, even if it was fictional, he/she never really said anything that unrealistic or fantastical, unlike so many others here, I feel.

 

Anything can be harmful, so this fear seems an empty card to play. I myself, don't really see role play as harmful, and I don't see the connection between role play and porn.

Porn is omnipresent and affects everyone, maybe men in particular, but its certainly not imbedded in role play and gender bending.

Some folks who study gender say there are a plethora of genders.

>>
The distinction between sex and gender differentiates a person's biological sex (the anatomy of an individual's reproductive system, and secondary sex characteristics) from that person's gender, which can refer to either social roles based on the sex of the person (gender role) or personal identification of one's own gender based on an internal awareness (gender identity).

In this model, the idea of a "biological gender" is an oxymoron: the biological aspects are not gender-related, and the gender-related aspects are not biological. In some circumstances, an individual's assigned sex and gender do not align, and the person may be transgender.

<<

And of course there is everything in between.

You can't black and white this one.

 

honesty is best why mess around pretending to be someone your not

 

The question is to complex. It’s a simple question.

Is lieing harmless fun or harmful?

Of course it depends in the lie and what it’s intended to do

 

I think there's probably something in that. There's a lot of really dross sites out there, and you flick past them quickly. It would be a shame if people with a genuine interest mistook this place for one of those sorts of sites.

 

A very good point. It is important to present the right message to young people to promote equality and respect.

 

If I might play Devil's Advocate for a moment, is a site geared towards male chastity and FLR really the proper forum to "promote equality"?

 

I don't think chastity and FLR necessarily implies inequality. There is a power differential, yes, but that is not the same thing as inequality.

 

I agree with you in regards to chastity, but not male chastity. Equality in a FLR is possible in theory, with each partner responsible for areas they may be better suited for while still working as a team with the female making the major decisions. But it's not the same as an equal partnership, where the power differential is shared along with decision-making.

However, I concede that we may be splitting hairs on technical points; CM is very much geared towards power in feminine hands.

 

Mistress @L-u-c-y I see it like you.
You have met the point exactly its a lose lose situation or evil circle.
If it a good writing it can be hard to see in the first look fiction or reality. So better use only your section in the forum for fiction. And it explains a lot of male behavior I think.

 

That’s part of it. There is also a trust issue. From my own perspective, I’m just looking for a credible dominant woman who wants or needs more from me than just my money. There are some serious monsters out there. I don’t see happy endings when guys pretend to be girls.

 

Mistress. I agree with you and voted it is not good for the community. Not sure how to police it. But it does not help with the dialogue.

 

Seems like the poll result is fairly conclusive
Surprise surprise (not)