Please hold my key, I'll do ANYTHING for you! How to find a online keyholder

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by L-u-c-y, Apr 19, 2018.

  1. L-u-c-y
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    When I first joined fetish sites I knew nothing about chastity, I had not even heard of it.

    I started receiving messages from guys asking me to hold their keys, it mostly went like this...

    Males: Please hold my key!

    Me: I don't know anything about chastity, what's the point?

    Males: You can make a man do anything if you hold his key

    Me: like what?

    Males: Anything you want!

    Me: Give me some examples.

    Males:
    You can make me do humiliating things on webcam
    I'll dance for you naked
    I'll do any degrading things you like
    You can watch me using my toys, I have.... (big list of anal toys)
    You can tease me

    Me: Well I'm not into any of those things, you are

    Males: You are dominant, you must enjoy controlling someone

    Me: I do if it has a purpose or benefit to me

    Males: Surely you must love the thought of someone sacrificing their penis and orgasms for you!

    Me: Why would I be interested in the penis and orgasms of a stranger?

    Males: Because you are dominant!

    Me: Surely a dominant woman would be less interested in the penises of strangers, not more


    The wives and girlfriends of members of this site mainly seem to be interested in chastity because they see benefits, like the male is more loving and attentive, or he spoils them with gifts, or he does more jobs around the house.

    Why do these people think I want to give strangers kinky thrills for the hell of it?


    Then there is the "findom" trap.

    Males: I'll give you £?? a week if you hold my key!

    Me: Well that does make it sound more interesting, I might consider it

    Males: You're only interested in money, you exploiting whore!

    Me: No, I didn't ask you to message me about your fetish, you are the one who asked me


    This is the same with any fetish online, not just chastity.


    If you want to find a dominant female online you have to show some benefit to her, like "I would love to serve you and do any online tasks you wish, like researching, proofreading, photo editing, writing stories for you, things to make your life easier. And if you hold my key it would make me even more committed as my mind will be concentrated on serving you, I will have no distractions, I will work even harder to please you."

    To me and many others, chastity is just a tool for making a male more useful, like putting a leash or collar on a dog. So stop complaining that you can't find a keyholder and make yourselves USEFUL!
     
  2. Love&Passion
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    Love&Passion Long term member

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    ouch..

    I was always interested in the findom aspect... On Twitter you see a lot of "online domes" ask for financial contributions and they try to make the impression that they have a lot of men paying them. Not my thing but interesting to see that it seems to exist and some of them are doing well.
     
  3. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Seems you could find a good way to monitize an online slave workforce. Start some kind of business that you could utilize a "work from home" workforce. Then you could give them a release or tease based on performance. Or maybe you become a life coach and push them to better their careers and share the benefits with you? Gotta be some way to monitize the chastity minions and make it worth your while.
     
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  4. LadyMoon
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    They must have a book of scripts that they all share, because I've gotten all these messages before too.

    For some reason, these men think that all a dominant wants is to control someone, anyone, so why not him? I think it's telling that these messages usually come from men who I've never talked to before -- for them, any random dominant suits their needs as long as she's female, so they don't get why I don't want just any random sub.
     
  5. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Couldn't agree more. Well said - yet again. ;)
     
  6. jfenoffti
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    jfenoffti ...

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    Jessica, Why you entrepreneur! Brilliant. Wish I'd thought of that. Just brilliant.
     
  7. LadyMoon
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    Not exactly work from home, but I was talking to a Domme the other day who is a piano teacher. She wasn't getting enough cash from regular pupils, so she turned it into a kink thing for submissive men, with punishments for failing to practice or hitting wrong notes. Now she can charge lots more for piano lessons!

    I already do the life-coaching thing with some guys, so I could definitely see how that could be monetized. :D
     
  8. outsideleft
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    outsideleft New member

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    Mmmmm, I don't get the chastity thing...I think I'm swan~diving into Switching...I do love serving, but not at the cost of neglecting myself - no criticisms of others who enjoy doing so...I am merely unable too...I tried it earlier this year and became so un~useful to myself and others...I had to leave that service.
     
  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    You're preaching to the converted on here, obviously, Miss, but you are quite right, of course
     
  10. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    Make them mine bitcoins.
     
  11. imasissytoo
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    imasissytoo Active member

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    That's Telling THEM !!!
     
  12. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    Take it easy same for male dom. The people don't understand that fetish, sexual techniques or lifestyle is the question that should be asked after meeting another human and learn the interest, ideas, dreams and sometimes their souls.

    So you not seeking a keyholder. You seek someone to speak really open and without fear to get punished for your speech.

    You not seek a sexual activity, your looking for a shelter for your soul and your body.

    You not seek for a one night stand. You seek a person know you better than your best friend, your mother and other people. Someone whom will go this way with you.

    A kind of search and life style really needs a lot of physical, psychologically and honoured open minded action to end up the good way.

    So both parts must invest a lot of time and courage into this.
     
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  13. permanentslave
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    thank You Mistress Lucy.

    *kneeling*
     
  14. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    Have you ever had something so consuming, that pretty much every waking hour, your mind is submerged in thoughts and emotions that to the 'uninitiated' would appear odd, bizarre, desperate even. That is what I imagine a male submissive thinks with no real partner or Mistress, a wife/gf who 'understands'! So as much as we 'less desperate' humans pontificate on the whys and wherefores of these desperate and confused males, maybe a little compassion for those who are often alone in their crowds.
     
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  15. L-u-c-y
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    I don't have any compassion for strangers who want to use me like a piece of meat for their fetish.
     
  16. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    I understand Your emotion Mistress and from Your position of superiority and hi status, it can be seem that maybe all such strangers have that intent for Your time. I agree, some do, but their own emotional turmoil, charged with the presence of significant female power, has the capacity to over consume any logic within their confused minds. I'm not defending these creatures, but I have found through my research, some crazy demons are at work and they not always capable to control them. I agree, compassion was the wrong word. Maybe some thought for what triggers such behaviour?
     
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  17. L-u-c-y
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    Are you saying that those obsessed by chastity are mentally disabled? :)
     
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  18. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    No Mistress. They are lonely first and consumed by their deviance second. And this is not aimed at those who desire chastity, it's those who crave to be dominated and have no-one to share that with.
     
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  19. LadyMoon
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    Verified Female

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    I believe what you're describing is "sub frenzy."

    For reference:
    https://submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/submissive-frenzies
    http://coffeeandkink.me/2017/10/21/sub-frenzy/

    As a dominant, I think it's good to recognize that this can affect some submissives (and that there's also "dom frenzy" that some dominants experience). However, the burden is still not on me (or any other dominant) to relieve some random sub's frenzied state or take responsibility for helping a stranger get what they want or need.
     
  20. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    I agree with you, it is most definitely not on you. But as visible dominant women, we do project certain triggers that sub men respond to, and sometimes they response may not be welcome, but it doesn't change the fact we may have contributed to unconscious provocation.
     
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  21. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    Sorry, forgot to acknowledge your sub frenzy point. Spot on.
     
  22. L-u-c-y
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    They are trying to use the very women they say they want to be used by.
     
  23. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    I agree Mistress. I think desperation ultimately pushes them. You may have reached the sweet spot with Your slaves, where they accept that they have no right to be 'dommed', but devote their energy to Your needs with no consideration of their own. You have that power radiance that creates that dynamic.
     
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  24. LadyMoon
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    Men can be aroused all they want. That's what's happening in their own brain. It's when they put it out in the world, yell it at me, or message me about it that it becomes a problem.

    (It's like, in the vanilla world, if you see a woman on the street who you find attractive, it's not wrong to be turned on by her. But once you whistle at her, start following her, or call after her, that crosses a line.)
     
  25. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    I agree, the effect is unwanted and respect should prevail. I'm interested in the causation of such behaviours and a few triggers are in play. Even the neanderthals that project their pointless remarks at us. The triggers interest me and I have found that there is a percentage of just pure loneliness.
     
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