Year Three.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Jasmic68, Dec 3, 2017.

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  1. Love&Passion
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    Love&Passion Long term member

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    As always, many thanks for sharing. I am glad that the making up got a lot faster! Congratulations for this achievement.


    I applaud you to agreeing to counseling, give it a chance. If you don't get anywhere the first three sessions go to a fourth or change the Therapist. If you or your wife feel there is some underlying depression there probably is and it is highly recommended to go to counseling.

    I had a major depression 15 years ago and couldn't have done it without pills but thankfully avoided them ever since. I do share your aversion to pills and there is A LOT that can be done before going down that route.
     
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  2. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    What’s the old saying? It never rains but it pours? Something like that. First Elle got a cold, that developed into a nasty cough and that developed into a chest infection. She has now been really poorly for two weeks.

    The first week everything was fine with me, I was being commended by her for how well I was caring for her. Then I did something completely innocuous and pulled a muscle in my shoulder. Having broken bones in the past I can honestly and with confidence say this is the most painful thing I have ever had happen to me in my life. I am fine when I am flat on my back and at first I was fine standing up. But sat down, specifically in a car, I am in absolute agony. Not a lot of help.

    I have managed to carry on doing all the cooking but the house looks like a set on a disaster movie. I am just thankful we have a dishwasher!

    Anyway, Elle was too ill last weekend for any sensual attention, but last night, after we had showered, she murmured that it was a shame I couldn’t massage her. I told her that why didn’t we try, as long as I promised not to be brave and stop if it hurt too much.

    In actual fact the heat of the water in the shower had really helped. I was able to give her a really good massage, and she even gave me permission to first lick her bottom and then her pussy, to what turned into a really good orgasm for her.

    I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Helping Elle have an orgasm is always a wonderful thing, even more so after a period where it hasn’t been possible for whatever reason, and even more so when it was unexpected.
     
  3. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I am still unlocked from my device and have been for several weeks. It has been wonderful being able to have erections but I don’t think it is going to last much longer. Elle told me off last night when she realized that my penis is healed from the sores that had developed and the itching they had caused.

    She had told me to tell her when I was healed, but I had chosen not to as she had been so ill. While she agreed that she had not been thinking about locking me up when she was really ill, now she was. I am also in trouble for having not ordered my new steel device, but my excuse of not being able to sit at the computer was accepted.
     
  4. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I spent the first half of this week away working and got home yesterday afternoon. I asked Elle before I left whether she wanted to lock me up to which she said no. She trusted me not to do anything to break her trust and let me go without my device on. The 'funny' thing was that while spending three nights in a hotel, where in the past I would have been masturbating probably every day from boredom, now the thought of masturbating never even occurred to me. Somehow I have been reprogrammed and I would rather not masturbate and keep this feeling of arousal that denial has given me.

    When I left she was still very much just getting over her nasty cold but she was in a much better place when I got back. So much so that she decided to share a shower with me and have fun at my expense. When I got out of the shower she had given me a very pronounced erection, which she enjoyed playing with. She kept saying things like, ooh, this looks like it is still wet, it needs drying, and giving my penis a really good rub with a towel. I am not sure she was aware quite how close she got to making me have an orgasm.

    The fun continued with a very rare midweek orgasm for Elle. She was in a really good mood and after I had licked her bottom for several minutes she turned over and told me to lick her pussy. She even joined in by looking down at me and pressing down on her abdomen, stretching her pussy lips up and really increasing the sensations for her.

    I know for many the fact that this was her tenth orgasm of the year wont seem like much, but it still blows my mind how many she is having these days. The regularity of her desire is amazing and far in excess of anything I have known her have before. She told me that last night happened because of a mixture of how turned on she had got playing with me in the shower and then how I had not in any way tried to influence her towards having some kind of sex with me. This change in my attitude and behaviour has really affected her in a very positive way.
     
  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Time for an update, I think it is time I had a good look at where Elle and I am and where things appear to be going.

    First, I just changed my avatar. The image of me wearing female clothes is not representative of my current lifestyle. The simple fact is that while Elle and I both enjoy me wearing clothes that are meant for women but not necessarily overtly feminine, it is not a lifestyle choice that ever went anywhere. This is partly due to what happened to us last year and the stress this brought about. I never went into huge detail but it involved being dragged through the legal process and was a massive emotional and financial drain on us. We came out the other side very strong and we both realised how important our new relationship dynamic had helped us during the worst of times. Elle was only able to think about the smaller details of chastity, the idea of developing a feminine wardrobe for me was just too much. In addition to that we have a youngster in the house again, so the opportunity for me to wear women's clothes whilst we are at home just isn't going to be possible.

    I haven't asked Elle how she feels about the clothes and there is a chance she could decide to start this going again. She has bought me things like tights to wear and enjoys seeing me in female underwear, but that is kept low key and in the privacy of our own room. I wont be doing what I did last year and wearing the clothes openly whilst on holiday.

    Secondly it would appear that I have become allergic to my Holy Trainer. Earlier this year I suddenly developed some really bad itchy areas, sores developed on the shaft of my penis and I was unable to wear the device for a good while. I have now tried to put it back on three times. The last time was at the start of this week and I only lasted two days. With Elle's permission I was pulling my penis out and washing it at least twice a day but it still went very angrily red, developed sores and became itchy. I had thought that somehow this was because of urine not being cleaned off due to the closed design of the Holy Trainer, but Elle identified it as an allergic reaction. It happened too fast and cleared up too fast once it was taken off for it to have been due to urine.

    I had been worried that Elle would lose interest in the device, especially as I was so successful with being on the honour method. I like wearing a device. Well, it is truer to say that I like Elle making me wear a device. I wouldn't choose to wear one, I like the freedom that the honour method gives and I like the trust involved. But Elle has identified that she does feel different about holding a key to my device and I am in this 100% to please her.

    A few weeks ago when it became clear that my issues with the Holy Trainer were probably going to stop me wearing it any more, I ordered a new device off of Ali Express which arrived today. I tried it on and it fits perfectly, I had the same device but I had ordered a version that was far too small. This is the Mummy bear device, it isn't too big or too small, it is just right. Elle is gong to lock me into it when she gets home this evening.

    As my current signature shows Elle has very much enjoyed denying me this year. I have had a grand total of 0 orgasms. I will soon be at the three month point as my last was just a few days before New Year's Eve. She is a Keyholder who keeps what she is doing very close to her chest. She never tells me how long my current denial period is going to be, she says she makes her mind up when she feels like it. Sometimes when she gets turned on she decides to let me have an orgasm but these days she gets more turned on by my denial than by allowance. She recently told me I wasn't allowed to cum whilst she was just coming down from her own orgasm, a very powerful moment as it demonstrated very fully how involved in this lifestyle she has become.

    That's it for now. I need a cup of tea.
     
  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I don't really know where to start with this update. The simple bit is just to say that Elle and I have been travelling for over a week and, as usual, absolutely nothing happened of any interest to this journal in the time we were away. Also, as usual, Elle was very tired when we got back home so for a few days nothing of interest continued to happen. Monday evening, without being prompted, I went and got a bowl with warm water and added some fragrant oil and gave her a foot soak followed by a foot massage. A bit cliché I know, but this is one of those things that are a cliché for a very good reason. Elle loves the experience and during the massage was almost purring.

    Tuesday night Elle gave me some work to do and told me if I did it to her satisfaction she would treat me by letting me run her a bath. The way she said it took me a bit by surprise as she really, obviously meant it. She now sees me being allowed to run her a bath as a treat for me! An indication that her role as my Mistress really is beginning to take root. This isn't something that has happened quickly and I wouldn't suggest it is completely embedded, but she is definitely changing.

    Elle did let me run the bath, this time I used some lavender foaming bath gel and lit about 8 or so candles. She didn't feel like having wine but did let me make her a herbal tea to drink whilst I read a chapter of our latest book to her while she soaked. As I finished the chapter she raised her left foot out of the water and didn't say anything, obviously expecting me to get on with washing her which I duly did, legs and feet, arms and hands and back.

    When she got out of the bath she was very relaxed and happy so let me give her a massage. At first it was going to be just a massage, but then she changed her mind and told me to lick her bottom as well, noting that this always leads to 'other things'. I assured her that I wasn't going to sulk if she just wanted a massage but she just told me to get on with it. This led to a very rare weekday orgasm. This was her 13th of the year which keeps us on track for an average of one a week. Not many for some of the stories we read at the mansion where some Mistresses apparently have that many orgasms a day, but for us it is still incredible.

    That bit of the update is the easy bit. What Elle said to me before we went away is the bit that is harder to put into words and make sense of.
     
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  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    One thing I am always determined to do is write what happens and keep my journal as a true representation of my thoughts and experiences. I am honestly disappointed that Elle doesn't join in and keep her own journal or at least join in with the mansion, but she isn't interested at the moment and that is that. One reason I have tried hard to keep my journal 'real' is because I get frustrated reading journals that appear to be if not completely made up at least being loose with reality.

    So when Elle casually mentions the prospect of permanent chastity for me I am lost for a way to explain how it came about and what my thoughts are about it, without it sounding like a fantasy. Let me state clearly right now, permanent chastity is not my fantasy, hell, temporary chastity was never my fantasy. All I did when we started was promise I wouldn't masturbate without permission, I sort of expected Elle to grant that permission at least occasionally. But she doesn't. She let me masturbate once last year, my last orgasm on 28th December 2017. She hasn't let me since.

    This casual mention of permanent chastity happened the night before we were setting off to visit family and friends for a week, a journey that started with a drive of about five hours and an overnight ferry trip. I should have written about this sooner as the exact details of how the conversation came about are now lost to me. This is partly due to the time between then and now, the stressful nature of a big trip and partly due to how shocked I was when she said what she said.

    Basically Elle's thought process went something like this. She enjoys it when we have a joint orgasm whilst making love, when we cum at exactly the same time. She realises that my being chaste makes the chance of having a joint orgasm is even more unlikely than it was before. I have to numb my penis to be able to make love to her or I will cum almost immediately. If I numb enough to bring her to orgasm then even if I do cum I will not be able to feel it, as this has happened a few times. Therefore there isn't the same intense depth of orgasm we used to get when this did happen.

    Secondary to this is the fact that she likes my attitude towards her and reaction to her when I am chaste. She likes this more than she likes me having an orgasm and more than the chance that we might have a joint orgasm. She likes it so much that the only direction my periods of denial have gone since we started this has been to get longer. My current period of denial is an eye watering 3 months, 1 week and 1 day, with no end in sight. She has told me she will consider letting me cum for my birthday which is still well over a month away, closer to five months than to four. She has also mentioned that she hasn't made her mind up as to whether I will have an orgasm this year.

    Put the two together and you get this - I like it when we cum together but this is now unlikely to happen. I like it when he is chaste, so I prefer to not let him cum. If we can't cum together then he doesn't need to cum.

    So when Elle just dropped the bombshell that she was considering not letting me cum, ever, I was completely bowled over. I just looked at her, lost for words. Where did she get that idea from? She doesn't read the Mansion, she doesn't look at Tumblr posts other than the ones I have shown her. I am pretty sure the podcasts we have listened to and books she has read haven't mentioned permanent chastity as an idea, so what led her to have the idea?

    Am I willing to submit? Is this a step too far for me? I desperately want to cum but her control of me is far more arousing than the chance of a few seconds of orgasmic pleasure. Elle told me she was locking me up in my device when she got home from our trip and I immediately became erect. Elle saw this happen so she knows how aroused I get with her control. If she took away the option of me ever having an orgasm would I continue to become aroused?

    We haven't had a chance to talk about any of this but the way she said it made me think she was at least being serious considering permanent chastity, it wasn't just said as a way of teasing me.
     
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  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I like you simply introduced the device, and although I was serious about letting her be the decision maker in that department, I had no idea that I had masturbated for the last time, or that orgasms would be a bit more rare.

    She instituted the tease and denial, and as time has passed, has gotten more into denial without the tease. And unlike many here, I do love to orgasm, and like to be unlocked. So her vision, version, of chastity has become what it is all on her own. I wouldn’t change a thing, I love knowing that each and every time we fool around it is what she truly wants, even if she is doing something solely for my benefit, it is something she desires and not obligated to do. This however wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned when we began.

    As far as permanent...I would think some of the hope might die if orgasms were totally off the table. Even if they are rare or non existent, the possibility should still be there to keep the edge on. For me I think I would feel hopelessness wash over me, so would want to hear that I never will know.

    I know about the drops as well, but what’s a day or two of post orgasm non subbieness in the grand scheme of things. I would like to think she could cope with me not being at my absolute best a few days a year.

    I guess some like to know though, then they are not disappointed when they don’t get the outcome they were hoping for.
     
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  9. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    Wow, I paused and had a good think about that, how I would react if my wife said that to me. I got stressed just thinking about it, trying to imagine giving up control to such an extent.

    We will be very interested to hear about the next conversation you about this.
     
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  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    I don’t think I’d want to know if she decided to go permanent.
     
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  11. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Well, nothing has been said so far because after Elle being ill for the best part of three weeks, then we had the trip to visit family or a week, then we had visitors in our house for a week.... we promptly took it in turns to come down with a nasty case of Norovirus. Oh my, that wasn't fun!

    I am more interested in asking Elle why she even thought about/is thinking about permanent. Where did it come from? It isn't my fantasy and she was talking about it matter of factly, so fantasy isn't the same/correct word. It might be something she wants, I really don't know. I also know there is no way I am going to be able to not ask her what her thinking is.

    I had a wet dream this morning, first of the year and the only emission I have had at all this year. Elle isn't far away from making this thing permanent anyway!
     
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  12. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I had a wet dream. I woke up on Monday morning feeling really aroused and with my device straining to contain an attempted erection. As I became more awake I realised that my penis was pulsing and sure enough, a wet patch had spread in my bed clothes. I had had my first 'orgasm' of any kind this year.

    I went into Elle's bedroom where she was getting ready for work. She took one look at my face, looked down at the wet patch and burst out laughing, patting my cheek as she walked past me to her bathroom.

    The dream was another one of those weird fantasy not fantasy ones I have written about before. I have no idea where it came from, it certainly isn't anything I would want to happen. Elle thought it was hilarious.

    Elle had met a guy who had decided she would have sex with him, but he wanted her to lose some weight and tone up a bit. He banned me from seeing her nude and sent her to a personal trainer every day for six months. On the day when they were to have sex I was stripped and led into a room, strapped to a surgical table that was positioned so I would be able to see a bed where the sex event was to take place.

    Elle came into the room, naked. She looked fantastic. The same woman who turns me on so much but fitter, with a really smooth stomach and just looking drop dead gorgeous. The guy walked in, also naked, obviously well endowed and starting to show his arousal. He examined Elle, making approving sounds, but told her she had to shave her pussy, and to do it right up close to my face. Elle doesn't do this, though she has a very sparse pubic hair covering anyway. She obeyed without question, getting the bowl of water and razor, foaming up and removing all of her pubes right in front of my face.

    Elle was then told to kneel and to give the guy a blow job. Again, she does not do this for me, but she did as she was instructed without question. While she was sucking his penis the guy turned to face me and started talking to me.

    We have decided to have a bet, he said. I have told Elle that I am going to fuck her like she has never been fucked before and I bet she will cum for the first time in less than five minutes. She said that has never happened before and doubts I can do it. We decided to make the bet interesting. If I can make her cum in less than five minutes, you lose both your balls. If I can make her cum in less than ten minutes, you lose one of your balls. What do you think of that idea?

    I looked at Elle, imploringly. I am her sub, not his, and I wanted her to tell me what she wanted. She carried on sucking his dick but just nodded at me, her eyes shining.

    At this point a naked female surgeon entered the room. (remember this is a dream, it doesn't have to make sense!) She placed some surgical equipment next to me, injected my groin and quickly sliced open my scrotum. She took out both of my testicles and placed them onto a tray, clearly visible to everyone in the room. She had four clamps ready, two placed either side of the chords that keep my testicles attached to me.

    Elle was brought to my side and encouraged to kiss me whilst holding one of my glistening testicles in her hand. She was panting hard, looking excited. I will do what I can she said, but I am so turned on right now I am not sure I will last a minute, let alone five.

    Hey, the guy said, if you cum in less than a minute he loses his dick as well!

    And then they started. He was clearly good at what he was doing and Elle was loving it. The moment he entered her was incredible, slowly sliding in and filing her up in a way I never could. The surgeon was sat next to me, commentating. Oh dear she said, luckily after a minute but nowhere near the five minute mark, reaching out to put on some surgical gloves, she doesn't look like she is going to last much longer.

    At this point Elle was on her front, her bottom raised, he was kneeling behind her, thrusting into her. Her eyes were rolling up and she was moaning in delight. Im sorry, she exclaimed, looking at me, I cannot last any more, I am going to cum....

    And that was when I spurted my ruined orgasm. Where on earth did that come from? I do not want to be castrated, I haven't fantasised about Elle having extramarital sex for ages, and the idea she would have a bet like that at my expense is nonsense. Yet it was enough to build up the pressure in me to the point I couldn't take any more and I leaked.

    My head is a dangerous place. I am worried that it knows me better than I know myself, given how aroused the dream made me!
     
  13. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    I...that was disturbing. It made me run out of room. Strangely I even read it twice. Incredibly stimulating but messed up at the same time.
     
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  14. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    The very first time I had a spontaneous orgasm whilst wearing a chastity device I was reading a similarly messed up story on tumblr. A guy was castrated by his master and then had 3 inches of his penis cut off as a punishment. The shocking thing was it was accompanied by pictures of a eunuch with a stub for a penis, exactly what the story was claiming had happened.

    As I said, my head disturbs even me! Being castrated is very definitely not my fantasy so where the dream came from beats me, but it was unusually vivid and equally unusually completely memorable.
     
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  15. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    I can honestly say I have never had a dream as shocking as yours but my Wife/Mistress has said to me that if I don't behave she may remove my penise and testicals. I don't believe she ever will and just said it to further her control over me. She has also said to me on different occasions that she would permanently lock me and not allow me an orgasm again and than days or weeks later she gives me an orgasm. Maybe she's just preparing me for the day when she will Lock me up and through away the key.

    Maybe Elle is just strengthening her control over you by saying she may Lock you Permanently.,the thing is it's not in our control when or if we get our cages removed unless we deside to take matters into our own hands and cut our cages off. The consequences of that would be astronomical and I don't believe that's a road that you or I want to go down so all we can do is wait for the time we are allowed to have our next Orgasm when ever that may be.
     
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  16. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    At last, after weeks of not being able to use my Saturday privileges to talk about Chastity and our FLR, this Saturday we were finally in a place that made a chat appropriate. Every Saturday for many weeks we had been busy, travelling or ill. On one Saturday Elle was crushingly tired so talking about this stuff would not have been a good move on my part. This Saturday we were having a drive through some beautiful countryside on a clear, crisp Spring morning. It felt good to talk.

    I started by saying that everything we would talk about was done fully acknowledging how chaotic our lives had been for the previous few months. I didn't want Elle to think I hadn't appreciated how much she/we have been through and the impact this obviously has had on our intimate life. The incredible thing has been how anything at all has happened and I acknowledged that this was evidence of how much Elle has changed. Before we started Chastity and developing our FLR Elle had been a take it or leave it sort of woman with regards to sex, and more often than not would leave it. Now it is part of her weekly schedule, it is very rare for a week to go past when she doesn't have an orgasm with my help. As I have said before this might not be the dozens of orgasms you read that some Mistresses/Keyholders apparently have but this is a significant change as far as Elle is concerned.

    The first thing I asked was did Elle think we were still in an FLR. Her response was that at times she sort of forgot about it, but no, most of the time she definitely felt that she was in charge, and enjoyed our relationship this way. She is certainly much more used to asking me to do things. (Elle doesn't tell, she asks. It is just when she asks she is saying "please will you" but what she actually means is "you will".) This question had come about because we have had a few moments of severe stress where we were as close as we ever are these days to having an argument. I had answered back to her on more than one occasion but nothing had been said about this. Elle said that while this had disappointed her she had noticed how much more quickly I now apologise and calm down, and how I don't sulk for ages when she has a go at me.

    The second thing was more trivial but it was something that had been bothering me. Basically I wanted guidance on when it is appropriate for me to ask if I could use my butt plug. Several months ago Elle had told me that I was allowed to ask if I could use the plug, but I didn't want to do so at an inappropriate time, so hadn't asked her. When I am asked to give her a massage, or make love, or do anything pleasurable for her, the focus is on her. This is the cornerstone of our use of chastity, it is what has made all the difference to her desire to receive pleasure from me. If I then say "can I put my butt plug in please?" then some of that pleasure and focus is inevitably on me.

    Elle said that I shouldn't worry about it so much and just ask. As long as it didn't become a Pavlovas dog sort of thing, where as soon as she asked for me to do something sexual with her I immediately wanted to put the plug in, it would be fine. She could always say no. This is good as I don't think Elle is aware of just how much I want to ask, how much pleasure I get from using the plug.

    I decided that I will never ask to use the butt plug when I am giving her a Yoni massage. This is an event that is all about her receiving and me giving, it is in the very spirit of the event. The entire point is that I give with absolutely no expectation of anything reciprocal happening.
     
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  17. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    The main thing I had wanted to talk about was the most difficult to get out. This was Elle's casual announcement from several weeks ago that she was thinking of making my chastity permanent. Elle was almost surprised that I thought this was a big deal, that permanent chastity is considered quite a severe deal even in places like the Mansion. It was as if she didn't think the move to me never having an orgasm was that much of a change and in a way I can sort of understand. I am currently approaching a four month period of denial, not the first time she has kept me denied for this length of time and I would have more than another month to wait to match or pass my longest period of denial.

    I have behaved myself, I am very attentive towards her, I do not make a fuss about this unless she is actively doing something to push my arousal. In a way I have been my own worst enemy as I have somehow made Elle think that this is not exactly very difficult. She couldn't be more wrong, it takes a great deal of effort on my part to not say something more often. I desperately want to cum, I just want her to say no more. I don't know how long her control, my arousal from her control would last though.

    It is important to understand that Elle has reached this idea in isolation from any chastity themed content. In the books we have read and the podcasts we have listened to permanent chastity has never been mentioned. Elle doesn't read any of the Mansion posts and she is not interested in the chastity blogs on Tumblr. This has happened simply because of the way our own use of chastity has developed.

    I asked Elle what it was about me not cumming that she liked so much. The answers were pretty obvious but I wanted to hear her say it. Her control over me turns her on, one of the reasons that she enjoyed more orgasms now than she has before, she is more ready to receive them now because of this. She likes my attitude while I am denied and she absolutely loves the way I collapse so easily at her touch.

    I told her that the thing that worried me was the removal of hope. I currently have a Mistress who while she doesn't tell me when my next orgasm might be she does let me have them. Far fewer occur than pre-chastity but they still happen. I still hope that maybe this time she will let me, that she will command me to do something. The fact that she rarely does doesn't diminish the hope. If Elle stated that I was never to have another orgasm then that hope would go.

    Elle tried to say that there was always hope but I disagreed. One thing I know about Elle is when she says something she means it. If she said that I was to never cum again then I would not ever expect to be allowed. Then the way I beg to cum when she turns me on would not be relevant, there would be no point asking as I would already know the answer. Elle considered this but I could tell she had talked about this subject enough, so I left it.

    The strange thing is I am pretty sure if she did tell me that my days of having orgasms were over I would obey. I don't know how it would change things, but I know I would at least try. I did tell Elle that if she ever got to a point of giving up on her own orgasms and just leaving me locked then I would doubt I could continue. Elle told me that she didn't see that ever happening, and if it ever got to that point then, in her words 'none of this would make any sense'.
     
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  18. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    One other thing of note from this weekend. It was the first time this year that Elle has had orgasms on two days over the weekend. On Friday she told me to give her a massage that led to me orally pleasuring her. On Saturday night she was really pleased with all of my efforts during the day and my reward was to be intensely teased by her for the first time in a long while. She was biting and sucking my nipples, massaging my penis and rubbing her body all over me. Needless to say I enjoyed the attention! Then on Sunday she told me to give her another massage but this time no licking or anything. I had started massaging her shoulder, sore from doing some gardening, when she changed her mind.

    Actually, she said, I want a Yoni massage. Finish massaging my back then you can give me a Yoni massage. It will help me relax. She started controlling her breathing while I worked my way down her back, then her bottom, thighs and calves. When I had finished she turned over and I placed pillows under her neck, her bottom, each of her knees and she lay ready. As always the Yoni massage begins slowly and builds to an amazing crescendo. It has taught me a lot about pleasuring a woman and, as always, I encourage anyone who doesn't know about Yoni massage to look it up. It is well worth the effort. It is much more than just masturbation.

    And it was good, as good as it ever is, and she had a good, strong orgasm. And boy, did she look relaxed when I had finished!
     
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  19. Jasmic68
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    Has it really been over a month since I last wrote anything in the Mansion? Usually if I don’t write it is because I am either not doing anything worth writing about or I am not in a good head space and do not feel like anything I wrote would be worthwhile. Although I have been busy this month I have had plenty of time for reflection and have been given plenty of fun opportunities by my Mistress.

    Actually, her use of that title is one change that has occurred recently. Elle has started referring to herself as being my Mistress on a very regular basis. I am your Mistress, do as you are told. Are you sulking? I am your Mistress, you should be overjoyed to do my bidding. I am your Mistress, I have the right to do as I choose. While these statements are not made daily they are made several times a week.

    I don’t know where the change occurred or why she suddenly became comfortable in her role, or at least in the title of that role. Maybe she has seen the effect her saying these things has on me, maybe it just took her time to settle into the idea. You just know that when your wife, naked, holds her arms out to you and smiles at you, and says come here subby, that the terms of your marriage have shifted.

    After a period of illness and travel that saw the average weekly amount of pleasure I was able to give my Mistress drop significantly, things have picked up equally significantly. In the first four months of this year I had only made love to Elle twice, her favored method of pleasure being oral sex or a Yoni Massage. Three weeks ago now, on May 7, Elle informed me that I was to spray myself with delay spray and seal my penis with a condom to make it react faster, she wanted me inside her.

    After I had numbed myself she informed me that I was allowed to cum. Despite this being well over the four month of denial mark I was able to pleasure her but not get anywhere myself. She thought this was hilarious and over the next few days teased me by talking about how I obviously didn’t want to have an orgasm. I protested that she had deliberately left her announcement of permission until it was too late, that had I known I would have used less spray, but she just laughed.

    A week later it was my Birthday, a significant one, one with a zero after the first number, and for weeks I had been wondering whether she would let me cum then. Not for the first time Elle took delight in stringing me along but ultimately denying me that pleasure. The next day, a Monday, Elle had taken the day off work without telling me. After carrying out some morning chores she calmly announced that we were going to have sex. This time, she said, don’t use too much spray.

    My mind melted. We were going to have sex? Yes. In the morning? Yes. I was allowed to cum? Oh yes, but you have to make sure I do as well.

    We had a shower and I carefully applied some spray. Elle told me that I had to get her aroused and that she would tell me when I was to enter her. I put on my penis rings to ensure I would remain hard, and got to work.

    Way back in my journals I wrote about one of the first times Elle ever denied me in a significant way. It was on my birthday, when she had told me to do the same thing as we were now, that I was to make love to her after I had made her aroused. Once I had started orally pleasuring her she changed her mind and let me bring her to orgasm, then calmly announcing that I wasn’t allowed to cum. On my Birthday! It is small wonder then that while I was kneeling by her bed, licking her to increasing and obvious amounts of arousal, that I couldn’t help but wonder would she do the same thing now? Elle later told me that she had indeed considered doing this and it was obvious to me at the time. I was scared to admit to her that this level of simple dominance had greatly aroused me.

    But then, just when I thought I was to be denied, she told me that it was time. For the first time this year I entered her with a penis that had enough sensation that I could feel her soft wet walls enclose me. It was exquisite. It was beyond any experience I have ever had. I do not take this sort of opportunity for granted, and I knew the stakes of what we were doing were high.

    Elle had talked about making my chastity permanent, that the one thing she enjoyed above all others, where both of us cum together, seemed to be denied to her by my chastity. The other advantages of my chastity outweighed her need for this dual orgasm so if we couldn’t cum together then I didn’t need to cum at all. I don’t want this to happen, so I realized I needed to perform well.

    My period of denial was a few days over four and a half months. I was only a few days away from my longest ever period of denial, but my Wife’s wishes were more important to me than breaking that record. We made slow, gentle, incredible love. Even after all of these years of being sexually active it is easily one of my best sexual experiences. And to make it even better, as I was approaching an explosive orgasm, she came. Literally seconds later, as close as either of us could have hoped, my orgasm ripped through me and erupted into her.

    I will never forget the look on Elle’s face as she lay there, looking up at me, as I shook, shuddered, yelled and shouted through a level of pleasure that was unparalleled. It was beyond pleasure, it was pain, but not pain, it was like a blockage of some kind was pushed out of me. She started laughing and held onto me. To say I made a mess of her bed sheets is an understatement, it was ridiculous.

    I think this was one of those moments where everything we have done over the past few years came into stark focus, and another piece of my future became locked in place.
     
  20. Jasmic68
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    Most of the time Elle’s need for sexual gratification and intimate pleasure occurs at the weekend. This is when she has relaxed enough from the pressures she experiences at work enough to be full able to enjoy herself. Very, very rarely she has me pleasure her during the week.

    Last night she had a shower, washed her hair while I shaved, invited me in to wash her back and then had fun with me. I am currently locked in my new Chinese device, and she made no move to remove it. We then went to bed and I read to her, then she informed me I was allowed to sleep with her, something else that is very rare.

    We turned off the lights and She turned onto her side, her back to me, and placed my hand on her hip. Rub my leg, she said, it aches. So I did as I was instructed, no expectation of anything else happening, but becoming aroused anyway. Elle then suddenly started making noises of pleasure and before I knew what was happening, had told me to lick her bottom!

    I don’t know why, but the fact that I had let go of expectation, that my penis was locked up so there was absolutely no chance of reciprocation, that it was a weekday, that Elle had become aroused and demanded I service her, all of this made something that has become almost normal very, very special.

    After a good long while of me licking her bottom, caressing her back, thighs and side, of holding her hand touching as much of her as I could, she turned over and told me to lick her pussy. This was an utterly incredible experience. I told her that I didn’t want her to cum quickly, that I was hoping she made me work for her orgasm, and she obliged.

    When she did finally cum I had my right forefinger inside her, pointing up and caressing her inner roof, her g spot, and she was writhing in pleasure. The way I felt was indescribable.

    The only problem I see from last night is that I start to hope that this happens more often. I must not let that happen. The most important thing we have developed is the letting go of my expectations, of Elle having the right to choose where, when and how she receives pleasure. I don’t fully understand how this has changed her, but the simple fact is it has.
     
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    Wonderful updates, thank you.
     
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