finally joined CM:)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by margarett, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. caged to honor wife
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    Hello, Margarett! Welcome to CM. I wanted to encourage you to read the postings from @thekeyholderwife on here. I think you will find that very helpful!

    enjoy!
     
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  2. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    yeah, sure. If only I could control myself :D If I would unlock Him and start to suck Him, I wouldn't stop before He'd fill my mouth with cum... don't gent me wrong, I'd enjoty that, but I don't want to ruin His lockup progress and start over again. So I better stop myself from playing with His cock ... luckily, He's good with his tongue and amazing with His fingers, so I'll get my pleasure anyway. And He'll probably have to wait until I'll get bored denying Him.
     
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  3. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    well im sure thats a tough positon to be in. Wanting him locked but also knowing its hard to control yourself. Luckily there are no rules to this except the ones you want yourself. Anyways it sounds like a fun dynamic you have :D
     
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  4. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    Thank You :D You're so kind :D So You telling me He should be happy to be locked? Then I'll make sure His locked for long :D

    Yeah, I do feel sorry for Him, sometimes ... but it Was his idea! That helps me a lot, knowning no matter how long I deny Him, He'd love it, cause He wanted it to be on my terms:)

    I think I wrote something about unlocking Him and playing above, but I'll just add, that I sometimes do unlock Him and play... I just have to be very careful not to ruin the progress we've made:)

    So no, I don't want to take a break. Actually, I'll keep him locked until I find out how to deal with this situation. That's why I joined the mansion, to talk to people, gather information and experience. People here are very kind and supportive, and some suggest very nasty solutions ... certainly worth considering :D

    So yes, the more time I spend here, the more mean ideas I get. And I'm kinda surprised how much they turn me on :D
     
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  5. b2please
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    b2please A fun and powerful game!

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    Yes! that's a problem for us, but we have at least 3 ways of dealing with that scenario:

    1. Our most common: I have been trained to "not come without permission", yet my wife is expert at getting me very very close for long periods of mutually awesome sex. If I start to get a bit too close, I often just moan or say "Umph" or something and she stops touching me for a minute. It's my responsibility to not get too close, but if I'm secured in some way I take it a lot more seriously. If I'm not secured, an accident is often the end of that chastity period.

    2. If I'm secured in some way, she can force me back into chastity right after an orgasm- at this moment that I really DON'T want to be in chastity. But the reminder and the experience become hot and exciting within a day, and it seems more dominant of her than anything else we do! It resets part of the male bio-chemistry and mood, but it seems to recover and be even harder on the male in some respects- again, potentially making it more of a dominant thing to do?

    3. You can unlock him and play with his male parts some, but ignore them during a lot of the sex play also, giving him very little chance to get so excited as to make a mistake, then ask for him to lock back up at the end. You got what you wanted (free & open access to all of him during sex play) but he got denied some attention, denied an orgasm, and now he's back in! So frustrating.
     
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  6. sissybaby alexa
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    sissybaby alexa Active member

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    As many have expressed above, there's truly no need for guilt or any reduction in your pleasures, Margaret. Keep him locked when not inservice to you. He will love it!
     
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  7. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Welcome @margarett
    Thankfully, you don't seem to sound scared or have fear anymore. Look forward to hearing about your journey.
     
  8. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    thanks, @JiL. Now this may be a little surprise for You: I'm still scared :D

    Only at the beginning I was scared about this whole weird chastity thing, now I'm scared, that what I learn here might be a little to much for my BF :D Yet I'm excited to find out :D
     
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  9. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Your confidence and strength will grow with time. Your BF only needs to know what you want him to know. Everything you read or hear here will not apply to you or necessarily work for you. Other things will. The beauty of this life style is that it is not stagnate, but rather can grow and evolve over time. There are many women like yourself here who you can talk to in a collective sense, to help give you support, direction, and comfort. They will all willingly offer their collective wisdom and advice with which you will develop your own FL direction and identity. I suggest you speak with them privately in the conversation part of this site, or via other private communications. If your BF mentions things he is scared of in particular, the best way to overcome the fear is by talking with him. You both have boundaries and limits which you might not even be sure of yet, but with time and love, You will figure out.
     
  10. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Welcome to CM, @margarett. After reading this thread, I'm sure you'll fit in just fine around here! :)

    I get anxious to have fun with My pet, too - and sometimes it's tough to stop! However, I'm pretty pleased with being on this side of the key, so I'll take that frustration in stride. ;)

    Wishing you the best of luck and lots of fun with locking your love!
     
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  11. GeorgeCS
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    GeorgeCS Member

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    I don’t really get this “I want to do it but I’m also guilty by it” thing. Isn’t he the one pushing and encouraging you to do these things? Then as long as you two have good communication and expectations you shouldn’t really be conflicted. Just go for it and keep it playful!

    Now, if you are somehow pushing for something beyond what he was encouraging you, or if you are pushing beyond what he is comfortable with, then yeah, the guilt would be perfectly natural, it’s just a sign you are going too far and should just stop.

    Most of the times a big part of the play is that he WANTS you to push, dominate, be mean, etc. And in this case he probably wants you to do it on your own without him having to tell you to do it (it would defeat the whole purpose). But this is a sure recipe for bad communication and doubt. He should just admit what he wants from the beginning, even if kills the “realism” of the play, so that you can be certain of what you two want and don't be conflicted.
     
  12. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Yes, but ladies and gentlemen tend to think differently! If a man likes the idea of being dominated and his better half agrees to go along with it fine! But then she finds that she actually enjoys being "wicked" and starts to feel guilty! Don't forget that generally the man is "in charge" in most vanilla relationships. Whether we like it or not that's how society tends to condition us! Once the lady realises that its "OK" for her to enjoy it then the dynamics of the whole thing evolve! This only works when couples are really in tune with each other, and they have that special bond and trust. Well that's what I think anyway! :D
     
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  13. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    I couldn't explain myself better :) Thanks, @Chaste J. :D
     
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  14. GeorgeCS
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    GeorgeCS Member

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    If this is the case then the guilt is entirely natural, and maybe a sign you are going on a wrong path. The whole domination and denial fantasy is such a turn-on for some guys precisely because it IS objectively a mistreatment that would be entirely inappropriate to inflict on someone in normal situations. It’s fine if someone wants you to inflict this on them, but if you are the one who wants to dominate and control someone else, then I would have issue with that.
    The baseline for every human interaction should be to treat everyone as you would like to be treated, and respect them as equals who neither control you nor are controlled by you. Deviating from this on a playful game is fine, but be careful if you start to really enjoy treating someone in a way that you objectively would not want to be treated yourself. For me personally that is not a feeling I would want to indulge on myself.
     
  15. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    @GeorgeCS , let me put it this way: I do fell guilt sometimes, but I also feel loved, pleased and happy most of the times. So i guess a little guilt wouldn't do us no harm :)

    Also, when I asked Him about how He feels about such long lockup, He said it's very exciting.

    Then I told Him I also feel excitement, and I'm very curious how for we could go this path. He said He understands that.

    Then I said I don't know how long this lockup will last, but I wouldn't expect it to end anytime soon. And You know what? He said He'll wait for as long as I want, cause He loves me and loves to please me.

    So, if He's fine with it, then what seems to be the problem?
     
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  16. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    There is no problem @margarett . What you two are doing is completely consensual from what you described. So no worries. I think the guilt you were initially feeling is somewhere along the line that its instilled in both men and women that orgasm is the goal and completion of sex. When you deny someone that even though they consent to it, it can seem like its cruel or mean. But dont forget your man enjoys this, hence givng you the control over his orgasms. If he didnt enjoy it he would run for the hills at its first discussion lol.
     
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  17. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    I think I see what you mean. For most of us it is a "game". A lifestyle game and consensual even if its " real". But maybe guilt is felt because we are not conforming to a "normal" lifestyle! After all to most of us its our secret, we don't share it with friends or family and that's something that adds to the fun of the "game". We may express ourselves here but we are most of us doing so incognito! All I really know is that's its great fun, we both enjoy it and we have this wonderful forum with many very interesting and friendly people! And that concludes today's sermon!
     
  18. GeorgeCS
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    GeorgeCS Member

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    There is no problem. Don’t get me wrong, my point was simply in case you were developing tastes that were incompatible with either what your partner wants, or with how people should treat each other, because otherwise there is no reason for guilt. As I said, just go for it and keep it playful!

    But keep in mind that men who actually like these things are pretty rare. And it seems you two are pretty young and unmarried. So if you ever end up with with someone else in the future be sure to tread carefully. As @ineverknew said most men will run for the hills if you bring up something that goes beyond what they are comfortable with. I know I would!
     
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  19. mwsubmissy
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    mwsubmissy Active member

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    Welcome and I hope you enjoy.
     
  20. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    it seems to me there is excellent communication between you in your relationship. On that basis, you should trust each other to do the right thing. Even if you worry it is the wrong thing. Because he would let you know if he was genuinely worried.

    Keep exploring, the pair of you. Enjoy it!
     
  21. mwsubmissy
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    mwsubmissy Active member

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    We use long lock ups every now and then. By long i mean more than 45 days. Each time we learn a lot about each other and our relationship. Right now I am on day 22 of 97 that I hope will end on June 22. We are going away that weekend for a romantic get away. Holding off my orgasm until then will insure a lust filled weekend, well worth the wait ! I hope you have as much fun with chastity as we have. We have been married 26 years and for the last 8 years in a chastity and Female Led Relationship. We did not have this much desire for each other when we got married. Have fun and talk about it.
     
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  22. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    What I love in your thougt is that my wife has the same questions and she is scare too.

    After releasing me (we do 3 days a longer) she inspect my dick on all angle to see it is deteriorated like scared that fall.

    She found this weird and loves the advantage she has gain this year in all daily tasks that she don't do anymore.
    She is not in but a little, a good start I guess. Tell us how do you aprehend the cage the first time your friend show it to you, you reaction and why did you try ?

    It will help a lot of us I guess.
     
  23. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    oh my god, people ask me for advice? I'm a newbie around here:)
    well, it took me over 3 years to get to this point, @Kylara , so I guess it may take some time.
    I was a little bit scared at the time He told me about it, but He explained what I could gain from this. It was during the first year we're together, so we're horny all the time and couldn't get enough of each one. He claimed this could stay this way if I'll keep him locked and control His releases. And I wanted to try it and I wanted to feel loved, spoiled and pleased all the time. Yeah, I guess that was the reason. Although I'm not even sure myself:)

    Oh, by the way, I wanted to thank everyone again for such a warm welcome:) If I don't tag You in a messege or don't reply, please don't be mad... I'm getting so much attention here and I'm just one little girl, could not be enough for everybody :D
     
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  24. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    Hi and welcome

    I haven't been on here too long either and I'm finding it fascinating to read of other's experiences.

    That said, there does seem to be a sort of one-upmanship competitive thing going on and a feeling that things must progress into longer and longer periods of chastity, otherwise you're not doing it properly.

    I'm sure that is fine for some, but it won't suit all. For example, why is 12-months of continuous chastity considered better than 12 x 1-month periods with releases in between? You are still in full control either way and it's the control aspect I like.

    Choose the period that suits you. If, after a while, you feel bad about it, let him out and have some fun. You can always lock back up again after.

    I don't think that there is "one true way" of doing chastity.
     
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  25. margarett
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    margarett Active member

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    now that's an interesting view:) I don't feel like I'm competing - until Saturday, I was the only keyholder I knew, so who would I compete with? I just want to challenge Him, and myself. This is very exciting game to play, although sometimes I struggle with myself. I kinda feel like Gollum in his best LOTR scene, if You know what I
    mean:)

    that being said, I don't want i 12 continous month are better than 12 times one month. I just want to find out how I feel about locking Him for 4, maybe 5 months. or maybe 6. or maybe I should end this post right now :D
     
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