Build me up. Bring me down...

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  1. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    What started with direction is now lost in random thought. You asked me to explain myself. However, I've found myself carving out tangents...again...

    It's pretty obvious, by now, that my arousal has been at a heightened level for the last week. It's been an enriching period of time learning new things about myself and us. One of the main things I have noticed is the amount of increased sexual thought that occurs from simply having a presence around the base of my cock. Now, I know we've explored the wonderful world of harnesses but this is different. I'm referring to the feeling of having something comfortable and subtle enough to wear 24/7. Something a little more devoted. My balls haven't retracted from their swollen state since I began wearing the ring. During times of arousal, sure, they're much tighter and bigger. However, when I'm in a calm state...they're still slightly ahead of my mind in that regard. So the result has been a quicker transition from calm and collected to aroused and horny. A result I am quickly coming to enjoy.

    When I slipped into bed, it didn't take long. It's been very, very easy for me to sink into a soft space lately. Chastity and pet play has been heavy on my mind. While chastity has been the large scope of what our attention spans have been entertaining...I can't deny the level that pet play has risen to for me. I'm going to take this opportunity to just...say things that are on my mind.

    Earlier in the week I expressed how much I love Your voice. Your voice has the ability to make me sink, all on it's own. Pair it with Your creative, dominant and intelligent mind...and it's a formula for turning me into a seeping puddle of submission, on the floor. I know I have verbal or written triggers for sinking in. "Good boy" or "good girl" have always been some. But I can't deny how much I smile and feel this...want when I hear the way You talk to the kitties. "Subbie" is definitely another one. I guess there are lots of terms or words that make me tick when You say them to me. They make me bite my lip and make me want to become the whiny, little pet. They make me ache to hear You say that's what I am and it's how I like to be because I know it's what I am and I know it's how I'm supposed to be.

    Last night, when You let me find that button of mine on the outside and eventually had me circle and play around my rim, I sunk in deeper. I think it's been obvious for quite some time now that I'm aching and dying to take Your cock deep. However, last night, I had a slightly different vision. It was still the familiar, primal positioning and a lot of vivid scenes that I'm used to. However, the penetration was...shallow and arched. I was thinking about You fucking me...but just...relentlessly hitting that spot. Over and over and over again.

    Something I keep seeing in my mind is seeing You, from the back. Your feet, Your legs, Your ass, back, hair, shoulders. All of You from behind. I see those leather strap-on straps on You. I see You dressed sexy, in black and I see my pale, smaller self underneath You. The images are so vivid. It's You, mounting me. A position of complete control and dominance. Some may call it a "breeding" position. This position really fucking sends me somewhere. I can almost hear Your thighs slapping against the back of mine. I can almost feel You taking complete control of position and body. I can see Your ass cheeks clenching and Your hamstrings flexing as You fuck into me. I see my caged cock dangling and dripping onto the sheets as I hear and feel You punch Your cock against that spot of mine and not stopping. That's what I saw and felt last night. It's what I want to see and feel. So badly.

    Take me there, my gorgeous Owner, @Breathe . I'm ready to be locked and taken by You.


    Coming back down...

    It's an incredible hight to feel Your orgasms as if they're my own. Call me crazy but that's the only way I can describe it. I've told You, time and time again that Your orgasms have become something I love on a level equal to my own. Of course, I love to cum. But...I know my position. I know my place. I know our arrangement and I know how it looks, sounds, feels and tastes when You start to gush and quake over me. Helping You get there often has me in a state where I'm beside myself. Unaware of the sights or sounds You say I make. Which is probably for the best because I'm certain I look and sound like a heaving, shuddering mess. But I know You love that part of me.

    You use me and You fuck me like the animal You are. You build me up and You wear me down until we're both in that similar state. That after glow. With Your thighs shaking. The bed soaked in Your cum. I'm soaked from head to toe in Your cum and my muscles are, for lack of a better word; done. You finish me off. My eyes are half closed. Drunk off Your sex. Fucked into a sleepy state. I would think, this would be how most people would explain how they feel after their own orgasm. Not me. This is how I feel after Yours.

    So. You asked me what I feel after You have an orgasm because I seem to sound calm and soft. Well. I can only suggest You think of how You feel when You're lying there after You drench me and the bed. After Your brows curl inwards and down and You clench around my cock so hard that You force it out. When it almost sounds like You're hurting because of how intense the sensations are. In that moment where we both start laughing because no matter how high the air conditioner is blowing...the rooms still too fucking hot. Spent. Think of how You feel and You'll know how I feel. I can't explain this any further. I don't know how. I don't need to cum to have an orgasm. You do it for me.
     
  2. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Pre-Chastity Mentality of A Newcomer...

    Recently, my Wife introduced the idea of chastity to me while we were discussing some desires we've had or felt evolving. Previously, I hadn't really put much thought into it. With the opening discussions about Her locking me in chastity, I was instantly intrigued. That intrigue built very quickly in me. My level of arousal just from talking about it with Her aggressively climbed to extreme highs and constant arousal, even during low tide. Whether it be throbbing, pulsing aches that are too deep to put into words, or the kind of arousal that sits behind what You're doing on a regular day to day basis. It's been there. In some form or another. At some points in our discussions, I've become aroused to heights that I can't specifically remember ever hitting at times when we spoke of other new found desires we wanted to introduce into our marriage and D/s relationship. With that being said, I have hit a few points where I've felt concerns for aspects of chastity. These concerns are ones that I have vocalized with my Wife and in turn, have had both positive outcomes and also have placed us at disconnecting points where we're not on the same page.

    The concerns I've had about chastity are of the physical aspect. To people who are experienced with chastity, these may present themselves as laughable. Try to remember, I've never done this. Never really thought about it before the last two weeks. She has done much more reading and research into this than I have. So I do have a couple questions that I'd definitely appreciate reading some thoughts and opinions on.

    One of my concerns revolves around sleeping. While my Wife mentioned to me that She has spoken with a few members here about it and received responses in the direction of it being an adjustment at first, I'd like to know how significant these adjustments were. Personally, I am a stomach sleeper. Five years ago, I sustained an injury that led to losing the use of my arm and hand for 6 months. I sustained this injury while sleeping. Since that day, I have strughled, terribly with sleeping. I've spent five years trying to adjust a lifelong habit of sleeping on my stomach. One would think losing the use of an arm would be enough incentive to correct the habit. This is simply not the case. I continue to struggle with sleeping on a night to night basis. The point of mentioning this is to eliminate any suggestions or reccommendations of altering my sleeping positions. In short, it's not happening. So, if any of you are stomach sleepers, I'd much appreciate your input on how a cage feels or affects your sleeping habits.

    Another concern I've encountered is grinding. I'm a grinder. Probably on a cause of always sleeping with my cock against the mattress. I don't know. It happens. When I go to bed, I very subtly begin to grind. Usually until partial or full erection before falling asleep. I also have a fond habit, when I'm the big spoon, of grinding against my Wifes lower back or ass. She doesn't mind this. Thank fuck. So I'm curious about whether or not that's something that will have to stop. What reactions come from grinding while locked in a cage? I fear that if it's something that is, at least still possible and comfortable for me to do...is it something that would be unpleasant for Her? Would grinding against a mattress with a cage on prove to be uncomfortable or lead to pain of any kind?

    Again, I'm sure to the experienced people out there, this all seems juvenile or laughable. But these things have crossed my mind in the few days prior to experiencing chastity for the first time. Any input is welcome and appreciated.

    Cheers.
     
  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    ooh how did you hurt your arm and hand just by sleeping please. i fidget a lot in bed and i sometimes wakes up and im lieing on my tummy. it don't bother me cos im in a very little cage but when i was in the cb6ks one it split cos of lieing on my tummy so if I was you id have a metal cage.
     
  4. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    @jemima I have a terrible habit of sleeping with an arm tucked under my torso. If you sleep on it too long, you risk crushing your radial nerve. The radial nerve provides motor innervation and sensory innervation to the forearm amd hand. Basically, I crushed it and my arm and hand fell asleep for 6 months.

    I will be in a metal cage so its good to know there won't be splitting.
     
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  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Howdy,

    I sleep on my stomach and am a grinder too. I have found that I create a slight angle now(left knee up) which gives me the room for the device. Their is also sleeping on your side but I usually don’t stay there. Grinding doesn’t hurt it just doesn’t have that same feeling because...it’s covered and you can’t feel much.

    Spooning depends on your device and modifications you can make to make it comfortable for her. I have a small metal device and she likes pushing back on me when I’m behind her. I will grind and hump away until the futility of it causes me to give up. If you have a device that has a padlock, take a grinder to the padlock and remove all the pointy and sharp edges. If you have an integrated lock, file or grind the brass down so it is flush with the lock portion. This will remove the sharp edges and make spooning comfy for her.

    I even have a piercing and thought I might lose some sleep not being able to sleep like normal but your body adjusts. As far as the device itself keeping you awake...some people adjust, some never do. For me...first week i sleep through the night, after that I start waking up at 5 am every morning. I go pee and go back to sleep. Pain in the butt, not that big of a deal though. I also keep a bottle of baby oil gel on the nightstand to apply without having to tread through the house. Shower often and dry thoroughly, and before bed apply some gel and it will remain a drama free night for the most part.

    This is still a chastity device, it won’t be something you forget about, the longer you are chaste the more aching and erection stopping pain will occur.
     
  6. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Thanks for the valuable information, @Nicoftime . It's comforting to know there are safeguards to prevent these concerns in place.
     
  7. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    January 15th - 2018 - You're making me melt...

    Last night, I couldn't stop getting the pulsing erections in the cage while talking to @Breathe. We spoke, at first, about the progression of our personal needs and wants and the positive emotions attached to chastity's arrival into our life together. After a while, Her voice changed. So did my emotional state. @Breathe has many different voices. I know them all very well. One thing you develop from years of communicating primarily by phone, is how to read voices. I'm confident in saying I'm a professional at it. It only changes a very slight amount. Most people probably wouldn't reallly notice it. But to me, it's like switching from tea to coffee. There's no mistaking it.

    I've noticed this particular voice before. Randomly over the past 4 years. It's when She's made a decision about how things are going to be. Or how things are no longer going to be. It's when She's certain of something She has decided to involve Herself with or put into common practice. The voice has also been a familiar one with regards to our D/s lifestyle. Since discovering chastity, I've found myself much more aroused and excited by Her stern, commanding tone. Especially over the last 12 hours.

    When She reassures me that my erections aren't necessary unless She intends to use them, I feel the pulses start. When She starts explaining how things between us are going to be, they get heavier. My balls tighten and all I can do is try and breathe through it before it becomes too painful.

    We both keep saying how excited we are about how this can open up new avenues, feelings, emotions, pathways, triggers, desires, needs and wants for us. I think that part is really starting to take a hold of a part of my mentality. Always thinking about what She's 'got up Her sleeve' or what She's curious about. When will She try something new and how will I react to it?

    I've also come to realize just how many erections I've taken for granted. I've probably had erections that I never even acknowledged. Not while being caged, though. I've noticed every single pulse. Learning to appreciate how it feels to be denied that full erection. Because there is no need for it unless She wants to use it. That fact is really starting to sink in.

    Although we are apart, I can't help but to think of when we'll be living our day to day lives together. Another downpour of excitement surrounds those thoughts. My first instincts upon noticing mulitple erection attempts this morning was to tell Her I wanted to suck Her cock. I imagine, when She's within reach, I'll be able to fulfill those alternative desires to feeding an erection. Which in turn, will satisfy Her wants and needs to be pleasured by Her pet.

    Chastity has also made the pet names She uses for me more impacting. I told Her this morninig using the word "little" before pet names with intention of it being a term of endearment has really started to hit me the right way. It makes me feel incredibly submissive. Soft and aroused. Which I think is why I felt like telling Her I wanted to suck Her cock. It makes me feel like I've succumb to Her intentions to make me remember She is the power. The control. The Dominant and I love how it makes me feel inside and out.

    There have been thoughts that have gone through my mind in the past with wanting to feel...helpless or weak towards Her. I don't know if She'll approve of these terms that I've chosen to use. She is very positive and wants to instill positive and healthy ambition into my life. Something I have struggled with for many, many years. I now welcome and work to take in and also put positive thoughts, words and actions back out into the world. I thank Her, repeatedly for teaching me positive and healthy thinking with regards to how I want to be treated. So...telling Her I like feeling weak or helpless when She's flexing Her dominance over me might not go over as I would hope. I guess I'll find out. We've spoken a little bit, recently about how much we're both learning about things we viewed in different lights before. Things that we may have misunderstood from lack of interest and exploration prior to something new entering our life and opening doors.

    I don't know what doors we'll go through. What ones will stay open and what ones we'll never open. But the words of one Neil Degrasse Tyson ring true for us, "we don't know...what we don't know." So there is a universe of possibilities for us to still explore out there. I look forward to exploring it in a new state. Locked.
     
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  8. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    My breathing is hastily increasing. My heart feels like it’s in my throat. Thoughts are moving far too fast for me to comprehend or slow down.

    Last night, You took me somewhere that placed me beside myself. Unable to control what I was thinking. Just instinctual words pouring off my tongue as I fought the colossal flow of arousal. Our cock was pounding to be freed from the cage as You spoke.

    I was aroused when You told me You were wet from talking about whatever we were talking about. After those states where all the finest of details become a fog from the instincts that seem to shroud my mind, I can never completely remember everything.

    You instructed me to speak to You because it makes You wet when I start to slip. You told me You had Your present that I gave You for Christmas. Telling me how big it was and how it was up to me to get You wet enough to take it. Detailing how You were rubbing the head of that cock along Your wet lips. Our caged cock started to swell again. Knowing You were getting wet because of me. Also knowing You were using that massive toy while we were talking.

    It made me writhe and pulse. You began sliding it in and telling me how deep You were taking it and how good it felt. I could hear You moan. Our caged cock was leaking all over the sheets. Bursting at the seams. Trying, desperately to envision that massive member sliding in. I could hear it. Because You let me hear it. Those slick, slippery sounds of Your juices coating it and forming all around the entry point. I wanted to lick Your lips while it was sliding in and out. I wanted to watch You get off at the same time.

    I started asking You if it felt good and Your positive response of a satiated “yes” vibrated through my cage. All the while, thinking about how it wasn’t our cock. But at the same time, how You expressed it was our cock being locked that was making You wet enough to take the bigger one. Yes, the bigger one. Right then was when You asked me why I was throbbing so hard. I mustered the words to tell You that I liked the fact You were in a state of sexual bliss. That I liked You being filled. You asked if I liked it that You were taking a big cock other than ours. With no hesitation, I blurted “yes.” You asked if I liked that You were being filled by a cock bigger than ours. I almost blurted “yes” but instead I managed to grab hold of the last thin line connected to my conscious mind and tell You that I did when You weren’t using ours.

    I could barely fight the urgency to ask You to take this cage off. Not because I was jealous. For some reason I wasn’t. I was pleased it was hitting Your spots. I felt a part of Your arousal. A big part. Like I was doing my duty to You. I wanted out because the arousal was so much that our cock was burning and sore from pushing, desperately against this cage. I heard the same level of arousal and pleasure You reach when You use our cock, relentlessly to get off. It pleased me to hear You in this state. To be a part of it. As I always am. But this time, in a different scenario. Locked. Destined and instructed to use other efforts to help You obtain the pleasure You deserve.

    We spoke about it. Softly and briefly before we both seemed to pass out. I was coming down from the adrenaline coursing through me. Shivering and wishing I was locked in Your warm clutches. You mentioned its name. Roy. It made me ache for a moment. But I moved past it. I knew thoughts were creeping in but I was tired and spent. So, I shut them off.

    There is something unfamiliar forming from this experience. I don’t know exactly what it is, yet. I thought I knew where my hard limits were and that they weren’t wavering. But there is a blurred line between fantasy and reality here.

    I have never had curiosities towards cuckolding. I’m a romantic to the core. I’ve never once ever considered anyone other than my Wife. I’ve always understood cuckolding to be a humiliation tactic that psychological pain seekers and mental sadists use. Which is why I had no interest in it. Since exploring chastity, my Wife and I have been reevaluating our opinions regarding terminology in the D/s and BDSM community. Because terms are inherently vague.

    I’ve never been attracted to men in their entirety. I’ve had fantasies about being fucked by them. However, in my fantasies, there are no faces. No voices. They don’t have profiles. I don’t associate existing human beings on this planet with sexual thoughts at all. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. Immediate turn off.

    I’ve fantasized about male bodies from the neck down. Fucking me when I feel my feminine side on the surface. But this was different. While my Wife spoke to me and got off with Roy, my mind put Her where I would typically be in my fantasies. Still no faces and voices. But a body, fucking Her. I was indescribably aroused about licking Her pussy while another cock filled Her. Or seeing Her being taken from behind while I lay beneath Her and do my duties for Her.

    In reality this would never happen. I am immediately turned off by masculine faces and voices. I always have been. As my Wife put it, “threesomes can be complicated.” I understand this to be particularly true for someone like me. Social anxiety and quite frankly, sexual discussions in public about personal experiences turn me off and lead me to walk out of the room. I’m closed off about things like that with anyone but my Wife. So, having another person involved wouldn’t work for me. It wouldn’t work for us. It couldn’t ever be someone (whether man or woman, trans-gendered, etc.) that we knew. Emotions aren’t something worth risking for anyone involved.

    We discussed the possibility of scenarios where a professional would fill the role. Masked and silent. But I have a wretched distaste for hoods and masks. I also find the idea of a business transaction uncomfortable and a turn off.

    These are the first thoughts like this that I’ve experienced. I’m not sure where they go from here. But they needed to be discussed between us and the only way I could keep up with the thoughts was through written word.

    Thank You for Your unconditional support, @Breathe
     
  9. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Its early...

    I woke up with the throbbing pulses of our cock trying to break free of its cage again this morning. Teeth clamping down on the pillow as I tried to get through the ache of the pressure. I managed, eventually. I sit at work, at my desk, with what I’d consider the perfect fit. My skin flush with the bars. Enough pressure so that I can feel the restriction every single second and with every single movement. But, I can’t concentrate this morning. Not on work. Flashes of Your thick thighs opening to let my greedy, needy mouth have access to Your pussy before You’re fully awake. I want to wake You up. The right way. The way You’ve expressed is how I’m supposed to wake You up. I can smell it in my head and taste it on my tongue and smell it right beneath my nose. But You’re 500 miles away. 72 hours until I can worship Your pussy again. It’s killing me. I’m not in a state of mind that wants to be freed from this cage. I just want to put all of this maddening arousal into my mouths service towards Your sweet pussy. Find the porch light on the front door step of my home. More commonly considered Your hood piercing but we both know it means and signifies so much more than that to me. I want to hear that clinking of my teeth when I graze it and hear the reassurance of knowing I’m where I belong. Serving and worshipping You while Your only act is to find enough consciousness to writhe against my tongue and feel the pleasure You rightfully deserve at such an early hour. I’m going crazy @Breathe . For You.
     
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  10. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Distance seems to make the tongue grow fonder... So close to being in My grasp again, sweet pet. I'll quiet that madness, I assure you - but only for a little while. The plans I have will likely only add to it, in the end.

    It's been so easy to lose ourselves in each other when we reunite. So easy to let you in after your hungry growl and desperate pawing set My nerve endings ablaze. This time holds a new promise, though...

    That cage will help My insatiable nature and darker desires stay collectively bubbling right at the surface, while you please Me. As will yours. No need to 'complicate' things by having our cock easily accessible... No need for a distraction like that.

    My Aslan harness is calling and I'm ready to test you.

    You're going to be a busy pet this weekend, @_and_smile. Sweating, dripping, aching. I'm looking forward to watching you work and melt for Me.
     
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  11. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Back in Canada. Locked.

    After 3 weeks in and out of the cage as an introductory period, @Breathe decided that I would remained locked for the entirety of the next three weeks that we were apart. I was fitting nicely into the cage by that point. Not much pinching or itching and minimal discomfort, all around. Those three weeks felt long. But not nearly as long as the 4 to 6 we’ve endured in the past.

    I began to understand Her logic. Her beliefs that our cock has no place outside of the cage while we’re apart. There is no reason for me to be unlocked. If the physical mishaps and discomfort had subsided, what reason could there be to unlock? None. She maintains how erections are useless if She’s not there to use them. True. It’s not my right to play or stroke our cock without Her permission or presence. True. I gave that up, willingly to Her. Work is not an obstacle. So, there is no reason to remain unlocked.

    I found myself settling into mind states that seemed more vanilla or normal, at times. While the grade of arousing thoughts had increased substantially since chastity has become a part of our life, I admit it wasn’t as steep as the month prior. It wasn’t consuming my every thought. Distracting my every task. I could function with the cage on. Sometimes, even forgetting it was there. Until I’d flex or move and that wonderful reminder would breathe its existence against my thickening flesh, once again. It’s become a part of me. Already.

    When we began our journey into chastity, I felt as though it would take some time to adjusting to the feel of being locked. But it hasn’t. It almost seems like there’s been a missing piece for so many years that we finally found.

    The time had come to finally see my Wife again. 3 weeks of eager tension. 3 weeks of missing Her was coming to an end. It was Thursday and our 3-week anniversary for lock up was the Friday. Late in the afternoon. So, a part of me knew it wasn’t going to be a matter of seeing Her and Her eagerly unlocking me right away. She’s far too patient and determined to keep me in a state of desperate and needy anxiousness. Part of that frustrated me. But more of that excited me and aroused me. Knowing I had to be in Her presence after so long and remain caged and eager. What a mental battle She puts me through. She knows those battles are a big part of why I love our dynamic.

    It’s never taken long for me to become desperate for Her taste after arriving, but this time took much less. It was all that was on my mind walking to the room. I knew I wouldn’t just drop right then and there at the door. She’s my Wife and we have a hugging ‘thing’ upon arrival. But as soon as that was over…I went for it. She wouldn’t let me have my favourite part just yet. She gently and confidently denied me and told me to start much lower. I obeyed and began kissing and licking Her feet, ankles, calves, shins, knees and then up to Her thighs. Then I dove in.

    My Wife had expressed how She enjoys when I wake Her up with my fingers and tongue. Prior to chastity, I would wake Her up with a more selfish method. Mornings for me are when I’m probably at my hardest. I wake up, 9 mornings out of 10, with a throbbing erection. My go-to process would always be to slide in close to spoon Her and begin grinding myself on Her lower back. She used to accept this method in our earlier days. I think She even enjoyed it at times. However, over time, She expressed much less interest in that and much more interest in my tongue and fingers.

    The timing couldn’t have been better. A few months prior to chastity entering our lives, She had made it a point, on multiple occasions to remind me there were other ways to wake Her up aside from grinding our cock against Her. I had begun implementing these changes into my mornings. However, not to what I would even consider a sufficient amount. It always just felt so good and instinctual to grind against the small of Her back. I love Her smooth and curvy archway that connects to Her ass.

    With being locked came the irrelevance of even trying to grind. I learned quickly that the ability to position a hard cock upright against something, so it’s basically wedged between my stomach and whatever I may be grinding against is now a lost cause.

    I knew I was going to wake Her up the proper way. I had it in my mind that I wasn’t even going to bother with grinding a metal cage against Her. That does nothing for Her. So, it’s pointless. I wake up much earlier than my Owner. Usually somewhere between 4 and 6. Knowing we don’t have to be anywhere or even awake by then, it’s just how my bio clock works. It was sometime before 5 on the first morning we were together after 3 weeks of being apart and being locked the entire time.

    I woke up, fussed with the blankets and turned around, crawled under the sheets and maneuvered my head between Her thighs. I did what I was supposed to do. I did what I wanted to do. I started softly licking Her. Lapping gently at Her warmth. Being quiet as She moaned softly and squirmed ever so slightly. She wasn’t using any words. Her eyes weren’t open but She knew Her pet was where he belonged and doing what She wanted him to be doing. It was rewarding; after 10 or 15 minutes, my face was coated in Her and I just lay my head there on Her thighs until I was practically back asleep. Her fingers were in my hair and I was the happiest pet on the planet.

    There are rare occasions, in the early hours of the morning when my arousal isn’t all there. Sometimes, the drive to do anything isn’t there. I can’t exactly sleep, but I don’t want to use energy. I don’t recall feeling that while being locked, longer term and being with Her again. I know the second morning I wasn’t as eager but I knew it would be something She liked. So, I crawled back down again and started coaxing Her awake. I learned that it didn’t take long for me to find that inspiration via Her warmth and wet flavor and textures. Within a minute, I remembered why the days leading up to seeing Her get heavy with my anxiousness to taste Her. It’s comforting to know that on mornings where I may not feel the energy to do something that She loves, I will be reinvigorated by a very small amount of will power to slip between Her thighs. I know the lethargy will fade with Her taste and I’ll be doing what I’ve been groomed and trained to do. Happily.

    I know I still have more effort to put in with this. The last day we were together, She made a point, later in the afternoon to mention that I haven’t gone down on Her since first thing in the morning. It was during an outburst of behavior I had that involved me complaining about Her locking me back up while we were going out to run errands. I had been unlocked since morning which was when She decided to use our cock. I was enjoying the erections that seemed to come much easier, quicker and at a much more powerful level.

    Perhaps that was the issue. Maybe I need chastity, at this early stage of training and developing a better grasp on my priorities. Maybe that freedom made my overall devotion to licking Her sweet pussy and delicious ass more lackluster. She can’t have that and neither can I.

    The most useful part of chastity has been recognizing the things that I’ve failed to pay the right amount of attention to, at times. Within recognizing these things, I can change my habits and better my efforts to better accommodate my Owner. I intend to do just that.


    It’s been a long time since we visited one another and She never let me cum. She explained that She had plans to ruin me, however, dinner time on the last night typically ruins any plans because we’re usually in food comas afterwards. Such was our fate. Oddly enough, this didn’t bother me. Or upset me. Of course, I love when She lets me. I’d be completely full of shit if I said I didn’t care about cumming. I do. A lot. But…I think a mentality has formed in my head that limited my disappointment or frustration of this.

    My Wife and I had a relatively heated conversation a little while ago about how I did not appreciate the thought of Her replacing full orgasms with ruined ones and eventually getting to the point of never having full orgasms again. I’m still unsure where She stands on this. A part of me, in my head, kind of enjoys thinking about that happening. Another part of me, somewhere else in my head, convinces myself it would come to a point where I’d be so upset that it would lead to a negative outcome and most likely, a regrettable choice of words and statements made on my part.

    I love the feeling of orgasms. Full, big, powerful, Owner-induced orgasms. I don’t get many of them as is. So, there’s a part of me that longs for them. I understand Her interest and desire to rid the moments of ‘normalcy” that I run into after She lets me cum. I tend to be less submissive for the hours after orgasms than normal and this is something I don’t believe She will accept. Her interest and intrigue into ruined orgasms is what I believe to be Her solution for this.

    While a part of me thinks it’s a wonderful tool to keep me in that submissive state of mind, a part of me hates thinking about it taking over and Her being satisfied with ruined orgasms fully replacing full orgasms. I have a bad habit of thinking for other people when it involves me and I have feelings of doubt. Something I’ve had to try hard to work on. Something that is much more engrained in me than I ever knew. It can’t just turn off. So, a big part of this could be just that. But I convince myself that it’s more than likely, instead of just a mere possibility that I can think less about.

    I’ve gone on a tangent here. The original point I was trying to make was that I’ve found a crossroads of thoughts; on one track, I already miss full orgasms. It’s been well over a month now. Probably closer to a month and a half. On the other track, I wasn’t all that disappointed when we parted ways two weeks ago without even having a ruined orgasm and being put back in chastity for another 3 weeks.

    There are moments when I feel bitterness creeping in. When I think about the big picture. There are moments when new found comfort and happiness creep in when I think about that same big picture. Part of me thinks, at some point, the frustration and thoughts of full orgasms are going to make me bitter enough to speak out about it. That will most likely lead to a disagreement. I have a shitty attitude when I’m upset and I have a worse tone of voice and vocabulary to go with it. I’ve become afraid of being upset because I’ve come to realize how I act and what I say.

    I guess I’m unsure what to think. She says, “trust me” and I do trust Her. But, we live 500 miles apart and we have limited time to see one another. Which makes things somewhat predictable and also gives us windows of time to use on a physical scale. Thankfully, all of this distance and the predictable windows are going to be an issue of the past. So, with patience, I remind myself of that and remain optimistic about the future.

    It was common for us to get together after 4 or 5 weeks and spend wonderful times fulfilling our desires over 3-day periods. But it became somewhat of an expectation that the last night or last morning together, She would let me spill. Those orgasms felt amazing. Sometimes, they wouldn’t happen because I knew that it was coming and I have a terrible habit of psyching myself out with regards to sex. She began to alter those scenarios. Sometimes, She wouldn’t let me spill. I’d go home for another 3 or 4 weeks holding all that pent-up need and want in. This doesn’t and has never really angered me. It’s part of our dynamic and I’ve appreciated how powerful it can be. Other times, She would let me cum right before we were parting ways. It’s been fun. Exciting. Making those changes. They’ve made me think about the future. How exciting it will be to live this life, day to day.

    Chastity has made me think about a lot of things. It’s made me realize our D/s relationship is building and getting much stronger because of it. It’s made me realize how much I’m changing as a submissive. Or, realizing things about myself, if not changing.

    The initial point of this rambling was to state that only having one ruined orgasm before being apart for 3 weeks, to be together again for 3 days and have no orgasmic relief whatsoever and then part ways again is not as frustrating or disappointing to me as I anticipated it would be or how it has been in the past. When She locked me back up and I knew time had run out…I wasn’t upset. I was locked and being locked feels good both mentally and physically. I’m learning and graciously accepting that my time will come when She’s good and ready and if Her plans don’t go as She’s planned, it’s not the end of the world. Being upset about it isn’t worth the stress. Being a good pet, accepting of the uncontrollable scenarios and doing my duty to keep our cock full and safe is where my focus needs to be. Because if I’m a good pet, She will reward me and it will be worth the work and wait. She has told me that before. Many times. It’s up to me to trust and believe that. I do.
     
  12. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    I couldn't agree more. I'm surprised it took this long to find, considering I had the same mentality of physical Ownership in regards to having you wear the leather cock harness on a regular basis. Turns out I was just giving you license to carry endlessly chubby erections when you're not with Me - a fruitless endeavor, as we both now know! Owners learn a lot in this life, too. :)

    I look forward to many more mornings, just like this. I'm pretty sure we were sharing the same sleepy, satisfied grin. The smile you have when you're convinced you've done well for Me is remarkable; you wear it rather well.

    I want you to know I find you indescribably beautiful in those moments.

    No, we can't. Glad that's sorted. ;)

    That wasn't the only point I made that afternoon... heh. I know My use of 'corrective' tactics has been mostly mental in the past, but a large part of Me really enjoyed the sound of those leather straps making contact with your ass. I also loved the wincing squirms and whining pleas when I landed a few more strikes than you anticipated.

    Giggles or not, I think those pink marks served as suitable punctuation for My statements to you that afternoon. I'm excited to 'write' another excerpt this weekend. :kiss:

    Higher levels of awareness arise when you're transparent. I think you're seeing evidence of that piling up rather quickly in the past couple months.

    Anytime you feel that worry we've discussed, refer back to this paragraph. You know I love letting you spill, when I'm not boxed into a chronological expectancy. We've not yet experienced the flip side of denial (when I'm feeling wildly generous), simply because we've lacked the time. However, that brings Me back to My response to this section.

    Yes, I'm going to ruin your orgasms. Over... and over... and over again. But deep down, I think we both know you'll be thanking Me for it.

    ---
    I am proud of the submissive you're becoming. It's been inside you all along, and we've already experienced so many powerful moments together. You melted into your place as My pet the moment we connected in Atlanta. With chastity, I'm seeing a renewed focus in you that makes Me smile, more than you know...

    I love you.
     
  13. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    A Heightened Sense.

    I notice every single arousing itch, twinge, scratch, slip, pull, prod and push. Every ache. Every pulse. No matter how big or small. I notice them all.

    Is the cage creating more than just a reminder it’s happening? Is the cage increasing my subconscious arousal, too?

    The older chastity grows, the more comfortably things align in the cage. The days of being at my smallest are far and few. Usually, I’ll have a slight swell that keeps things pressed firmly to the walls of the cage. A comfortable state for me. Was I always dangling at this level of thickness? Unaware and oblivious? Or does the constant weight of the cage keep me a slight step up into my state of arousal?

    When She decides to release our cock, the very brief process of it coming off makes me hard. Our erections are incredibly powerful now. So strong and hard that they sometimes hurt when I flex them. She says I’m not the smallest. She’s told me time and time again that our cock is a wonderful one. A size and shape that She loves. I’m starting to see the truth in Her eyes and body when She decides to use it. I feel like it’s sizing up to the other ones we use. I always could please Her with it. But, now it seems as though I’m covering a lot more ground inside Her. She had more orgasms than I can recall this time around. They seemed easier to obtain. Is chastity responsible for creating heavier orgasms for Her, too?

    Every little touch of Her hand makes it throb even harder. I had troubles losing erections before chastity. That doesn’t seem to be an issue anymore. They stay hard for as long as She needs to use them. More times than not, they remain when She’s finished. They come back with the slightest touch. Full force. Ready for Her use.

    I seem to be able to last longer on the edge now. Which seems backwards to me. It’s so easy and quick to get to the edge when She lets me inside Her. But, I’m able to ride it. Right where She likes me. I made it through Her orgasm with only having to pull out once. That, for me, is monumental progress.

    I am benefiting from chastity more than I thought I would. She is benefiting from chastity more than I thought She would.
     
  14. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Long term member

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    I'm loving to read a so chaming story of two souls in love.
    My experience says that when chasting is really there and for the sub realizes that there is no way back, the full bliss of life can be felt by him, and a "thank you" attitude will remain encrusted on him like the cage covering its manliness, now serving not for sex, but for a more elevated service of the heart.

    Wife/Mistress/GF will be more than pleased when she realizes that all her effort is not in vain and a better human being is blossoming out of the male shell to greet the world and service the female that brought him to a new awareness of being.
     
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  15. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    In a word... yes.

    :kiss:
     
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  16. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    A split second vision of You, @Breathe

    I'm having that daydream I had so many times before that I told You about. Seeing myself getting fucked by You while on my stomach. This time, the recent addition has appeared. My hips and lower back are raised up enough for that caged cock to be visible. It doesn't exactly dangle. There's far too much weight and pressure built up within the cage for that. It's more of a sway. Until Your hand grips the entire package while You mount me. Fuck me and whisper Your delicious reminders of who and what I am. That first picture You ever sent me comes to mind. Those thick, tanned thighs and that remarkable ass. It’s so much stronger than mine. I like that fact. I like the contrast of our skin tones in my mind. I like our entire contrast. You, with Your big, beautiful hair, eyes and lips. Over me. Controlling me. Owning me. Me, with my light tones and smaller features beneath You. Crowded by You. Taken away from the rest of the world and placed under Your control and physical being. Filled. Getting fucked by the Alpha. My Alpha. Moaning and whimpering to ask You not to stop. You don’t. You pick up Your pace and You fuck every inch of Your cock into me. Over and over again. Gripping that caged cock of ours. Whispering how this is how life is supposed to be. Using that soft, subtle yet stern voice to let me know just how much cum is leaking beyond the boundaries of that cage. Evidence of my ache and need to be fucked by You. So, You go harder. You go faster. I don’t know what stops it. What stops it? I’m caged. So, no orgasm is in the way to stop it. Just fucked. Over and over and over. Maybe I cry because it’s so good but realizing there is no end just makes me feel helpless to all of this. Maybe You like it. Maybe You bite that bottom lip of Yours, pull out, smack that little ass You own, lift that cock of Yours up to rub Your clit and spray a big, hot load of Your cum all over me. Maybe then I’ll feel that ‘end.’ That point where the adrenaline can start it’s descent. Maybe.
     
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  17. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    There's no 'maybe' to it... you know full well how ready I've been to unleash that primal nature onto you. That side of Me that aligns with patterns of masculinity. Your mind has accepted that long before your body's capabilities have caught up.

    To have been so inexperienced when we met, you've always had a vivid imagination. One that I enjoy teasing, poking, and prodding out of you. Letting it leak into reality.

    Chastity has turned that dripping faucet into an active fire hose. I hope the same mentality invades your determination to practice.

    Are you beginning to understand why training began, years ago? I think a renewed effort is long overdue. A lot can be done before you're finally in My grasp every day...

    So get after it, @_and_smile. ;) :love:
     
  18. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Progress.

    A wonderful weekend with my Wife and Owner @Breathe led to more forward momentum in our journey. Something that I have struggled with (I’ll admit, I’ve slacked on the effort some) is anal training. It was something I was unfortunately naïve about when I first discovered I was aroused by the thought of receiving anal. Porn will do that to an eager beaver. I figured being eager was enough to take Her cock, relentlessly, after a couple uncomfortable first experiences. I was wrong. But, I’m not going to elaborate further on that.

    We decided prior to the weekend, that we would go toy shopping again. It’s become something I enjoy doing with my Wife now. We have a good laugh at a lot of the products we find. Prior to meeting my Wife, the idea of shopping in sex stores put my anxiety through the roof. I never did it. I never wanted to. With Her, it’s light-hearted and fun. Plus, the excitement of thinking about what follows after we’ve decided on something to buy.

    We chose a relatively short and somewhat thick plug. Coupled with an early birthday present that She decided to buy me (us) as well. A vibrating plug with lots of options. Some of those options are rather intense, I might add. Lots of hitched breaths and drifting eyes when the right tempo or pulse of vibrations would hit the right spot for the right amount of time.

    While we were relaxing in our hotel room, She had me naked and laid out on the bed. She started using the vibrator on me. Teasing my cheeks and thighs with it. Something I explained to Her a long time ago was that it makes me more comfortable when She’s close and She’s using Her other hand on me. Just petting me or rubbing my back. My body is extremely (and oddly) sensitive and receptive to Her faintest touch. It soothes me with great ease. She kept me relaxed and reassured me of how well I was doing. I love how She whispers in my ear while She eases me into a puddled state.

    The obstacle I’ve faced, over and over again, is a burning sensation right before things sink inside and that locking sensation happens. I felt it, before She could get the entire toy inside. I couldn’t push through it and we had to stop. She’s been extremely patient with me for a long time and She continued to be patient with me this time around. We went about our normal routine of prepping dinner and hanging out. I think She knows how disappointed I get when I can’t get to that relaxed point and I start getting cold sweats. It’s helped, when that happens, that She doesn’t voice disappointment about it to me.

    Just before the last phase of dinner, She told me She wanted me to try again. She knows I’m anal (ha!) about my cooking. So, at first, I was hesitant. But, I was feeling good and I agreed to it. She laid me down and this time, used the plug. It didn’t take long before that burning sensation really struck hard. But, I breathed and pushed through and felt it sink and lock in place. After a little while of letting my body calm down, I could stand up and continue on with dinner while plugged. It was comfortable and very enjoyable. A new sensation. For a while, my muscles were going crazy. Twitching, clenching and very subtle contractions. While waiting for simmering food, there were a couple moments of instinct and impulse to remove Her pants and lick Her sweet, delicious pussy. It seems every new introduction into our dynamic leads my instincts towards pleasuring Her.

    A little later that night, while I was laying on the couch after She had played with Her cock and edged me for a while, She snapped a photo. She showed me and I must admit, I really did love the sight of having a caged cock and plugged ass. Zero access to pleasurable avenues.

    I enjoy this mentality. I enjoyed seeing that picture. Seeing myself locked and plugged for Her. Not only is the plug going to help with muscle memory and training. I’m confident it’s going to increase my submissive desires towards Her. Which is never a bad thing.

    Chastity has led to opened doors and progress in all directions of our life, both together and as individuals. Glad it’s leading to another one so soon.
     
  19. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    I know my place.

    There are times when personal tests arise and the results have shown me who I truly am. Sometimes, the results are pleasing. Sometimes, they’re devastating. Nonetheless, they’re results that can be used to enact changes to the variables that will render more positive results further down the road.

    I had one of those tests the other night.

    My Wife and I were settling into bed. She had decided to unlock me and She was playing with our cock. She was giving me oral pleasure. There are times when it feels just right and I can’t help but to thrust my hips into Her mouth. She doesn’t mind this. She’s never stopped it in the past and I think, based on the obvious levels of stress I was dealing with, She understood why my thrusting began to grow more aggressive than normal.

    I was pushing rather deep by a certain point. But, She was taking it and She was encouraging it by leaning into it. I was groaning and I was pushing myself as far as I physically could. It felt good. It felt great. It was wet. It was sloppy. It was everything most men would get from their submissive girlfriend or wife or the drunk college girl they aggressively pursued into sexual acts.

    When She gagged, it hit me. Everything changed for me. I felt a rush of thoughts that didn’t line up with what I was feeling a split second before the gag. I started to realize that I was in a favorable position for a dominant. That sound just turned on a switch. The light wasn’t one I could ignore.

    I had to stop Her. She was perplexed. I’m sure it was the opposite result of what She anticipated and with good reason. I had to explain to Her that I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I felt like I was in a dominant position and it felt completely wrong. I knew I wasn’t in control. But, that didn’t matter. The act itself was drifting too far into my mind and the thoughts correlating with the sounds were mixing everything up.

    I thought my Wife would be a bit disappointed by this. I was wrong. She simply leaned up and kissed me deeply with a smile. She explained that She understood and that She was happy that I couldn’t, for the life of me, get comfortable with even the thought of being in a dominant role. She also explained how She was still in charge of the situation and that She was close to a point of leaning up to tell me She was going to let me fuck Her mouth.

    I told Her that it may have had a different result. That it might have helped the situation go in a more favorable direction for what She was feeling at the time. I don’t know for sure.

    What I learned is that when it comes to our D/s dynamic, I’m not pretending. Although I’ve never had moments where I’ve thought about my Wife in a submissive role, it’s nice to have a definitive point or reminder that it’s how I truly feel.

    Since chastity started in our marriage, good things have grown from it. I would say a reminder of just how submissive I feel towards Her is yet another good aspect of what it has brought.

    Thank You again, @Breathe
     
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  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    This reminds me of the first thing she said to me before we made love for the first time after the cage...she said “I will be on top from now on”. With that she climbed above be me and lowered herself on me, at her pace, letting me reach her breasts when she wanted them suckled, and since I really can’t reach inside her, she took away my thrusting and just grinded her clit on me. This really opened my eyes. This is how she gets pleasure from me. Not the pointless humping I was jackhammering away at. And that is the way we do it now unless she is letting me cum or giving me a treat. Like ok, I’ll let you cum, rolling over to let me do my business. At that point though, there is no longer any pretense of who is in charge of it or who it’s for.

    At first she was still somewhat subbie and would ask me to “fuck her hard” and say she was “your little slut”. And as hot as she was, and hot as she was making me, I just couldn’t get comfortable in that role. Maybe it would be different if I were a bit more equipped to do those things to her, but as is, we both knew I couldn’t fuck her hard, make it hurt, shove my cock deep inside her, or have her be my slut...it all just felt wrong when we both knew none of it applied. I couldn’t even finish.

    Funny thing is, when I’m wearing my strapon, I am able to perform like she likes in a dominant way, maybe it’s like a mask I am able to wear.
    She certainly hasn’t looked back, and it has affected her as well. She now rarely puts me in her mouth, is always on top, and my pleasure is something she feels no obligation to provide...I wouldn’t say our roles are reversed, but right where they are supposed to be.
     
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  21. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    It's comforting to see others out there that experience their roles in a depth that defies 'topping from the bottom'. Being of use to her is the purpose of your submission, and it seems you enjoy whatever form that takes. I hope you both continue making progress. We're experiencing similar factors. :)

    ---​

    I hope the learning never stops with us, @_and_smile. You'd think I would know all your sexual experiences before Me, considering we've discussed them several times and there were so few of them... but it never even crossed My mind that what I gave you last weekend was your 'roughest' blowjob to date. No shortage of things that make Me smile here...

    ... including this. After reading, I asked you this morning if in fact, that had been the roughest oral you'd experienced. When you replied 'by a long shot', I had another smile to Myself. Not to belittle your experience, but we were far from the 'slobbering drunk college girl' antics. :D But I see why you described it as such, considering your experiences.

    So, I'm glad you see that's a proper deepthroat, sweetheart. I give them when I want. Glad you understand that now. :)

    Not disappointed in the least. I'm thrilled that feeling as if you're in a dominant role destroys your arousal. There are plenty of situations where people comfortably play with switching, but it's becoming more clear that it's just not in you to do that - and what a relief that is. I could not play submissive, either. You know that, more than anyone.

    I do think, however, hearing Me give you permission might have changed the thoughts flooding your mind. In moderation, you've enjoyed the other little 'dominant' actions I've allowed you. Because as you've stated, it was confirmed and agreed upon that regardless of outer assessment of our actions, our roles are defined within us. There is no confusion. Which is why that limp cock (the first in a while!) spoke volumes there.

    It was a beautiful reminder for Me as well, the way you asked to hold Me so softly after you wanted Me to stop. I'm glad you just wanted to kiss and embrace Me, instead.

    It gives Me warmth to know that you are sinking into your life as My submissive so well, and so happily. There are many things left for us to explore. External grief is a new one for us, and I feel like we're handling it the best we can. Despite everything, I'm happy to be here with you.

    I'll see you in a few hours. :love:
     
  22. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    The Art of Progress…


    Requires the patience, devotion, leadership and understanding from an individual who cares dearly about the cause. I knew from early on, that my Wife @Breathe was extremely intelligent. I had an idea, after a while, that She had a rare drive when it came to things that piqued Her interest. I’m fortunate to be a main interest (at least, I hope I am!) in Her life.

    Four years ago, the act of sliding inside a woman was enough to take me from erection to orgasm. I’m not a submissive with no pride, self-esteem or backbone. While I won’t judge those, who enjoy being stepped on, it’s not me. So. The inability to thrust into a woman for more than a second or two was enough to stress me out, generate anxiety and ultimately make me quite bitter. Something that I’ve struggled with for a long time has been letting my own disappointment internalize and stir up some pretty negative emotions and states of mind.

    This struggle prevented me from even trying to make myself approachable or appealing to women. My forefront thinking was that if I went home with a woman, I’d just disappoint her and humiliate myself. Not the kind of humiliation that excites me, either. The type the wreaks havoc on a person’s self-respect and self-confidence, should they have any.

    My Wife was an intricate personality to comprehend, at first. Knowing She was exceedingly experienced in comparison to me (and most people I’ve come across) sexually, I would have thought She needed someone who could step up to the plate. Considering…Y’know…those were Her exact words.

    I knew I wouldn’t be able to provide that for Her. But, She also wanted something else. She wanted something more than that. She wanted what a lot of women don’t seem to want. She wanted an empty canvass. Someone to mold. To train and teach. I was just that. No bad habits. No selfish habits. Not enough experience leading to an unbridled sense of sexual confidence. What I considered respect for women, I now know was just fear of humiliating myself in front of them and in turn, resulted in a 30-year-old with the sexual experience of a shy 18 year old.

    I’ve known what progress feels like for a long time. I was very active in sports and excelled at any sport I played as a kid and teenager. I had natural talent. But, any athlete with natural talent knows that’s not enough. Practice and practice before and after practice is what it takes to excel. To become perfect at something is impossible. There is always a step higher. A next level to achieve. It’s up to the individual and how much drive they choose to have to achieve those levels. My Wife knows this and my progress in sexually pleasing Her was and is something that will always require work ethic and devotion.

    That being said, She started training me early on. Her CM name is a testament to Her work and methods. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned from Her is breathing. I can’t explain how impactful controlled breathing can be during sex. While inside a woman, I’d say it’s pretty fucking difficult for any man to not get wound up about how good it feels and start thinking about that push towards orgasm. She taught me to breathe when I’d reach that edge where the decision to give in would quickly lead to the point of no return.
    She can read me like a book. When She’s up there above me. Grinding and riding our cock. She sees it in my eyes and feels it when I’m groping Her breasts and grinding my teeth. Fighting that urge. Struggling with it. She speaks one word. “Breathe.” I listen to Her. Because She’s been the best teacher I’ve ever had. I shift my focus to my breathing. In and out. Deep and slow. Sometimes it’ll take a while. I have to pull out. Reset. Find that edge, get close enough for a little scare and pull out. Fight off the urge of a ruined orgasm and go back to breathing when I slide back in. Then I find it. I start pumping and thrusting the way I know She wants. Because I see it. I see Her bitten lip and Her smile and eyes lighting up. I feel Her hips when She decides She wants Her orgasm. I try not to focus on how hot She looks up there. Which is hard. Really hard. I just try to get passed that selfish desire to get aroused and think of breathing. When I find that groove…She goes full throttle.

    Sometimes, I ruin my Wife. Not intentionally. Sometimes, I can’t keep that control and focus long enough for Her to find Her orgasm. I have to pull out for a moment. I can tell it frustrates Her but I know it’s in a somewhat enjoyable way. Because She gets to keep going again. I can’t explain just how good it feels to still be inside Her when She finally finds it and I don’t have to focus on pulling out and cutting the intensity down for Her. When I can breathe and thrust through Her orgasm and feel Her quake and clench and dig Her nails in…that’s the progress we’ve worked towards. That I’ve trained for. That’s the stuff that makes me proud to be Her pet. When I feel as though I can accomplish what, at times, She needs me locked and strapped into a bigger cock that has no boundary line in order to achieve. Looking back 4 years to the beginning and realizing how far She’s taken me. How patient She’s been and how it’s finally beginning to pay off for Her is probably the highest sense of progress I can think of in my life. Progressive journeys are always worth it.

    Teachers get a great sense of satisfaction when they witness the progress they’ve worked towards in others. I assume that’s why the ones who enjoy their jobs do it.

    Thanks for all Your hard work, Gorgeous. See You in class!
     
  23. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Of course you are, sweet pet. I wouldn't lock you nearly 24/7, otherwise. :kiss:

    That exchange really did imprint itself into your mind, didn't it? That conversation came well before names and faces... My, how time flies.

    Out of everything I've taught you to this point, your success with this endeavor has been one of the most rewarding practices for Me, as well...

    ... because I wouldn't trade these moments for anything else in the world. So much of why I reach those states is due to the pleasure I find in your obedience to Me. I never imagined I'd share such intimacy with another human.

    It's nearly impossible to describe how gratifying it is to watch and feel you sweat and work and fight to love Me until I'm utterly spent. I know I don't make it easy on you.

    Maddeningly so! :D But yes, it's enjoyable.

    They say you're not supposed to feed your pets anything you wouldn't eat as well... At least I can appreciate the delightful madness that ensues after a ruin, even if I don't partake in every spoonful that I give to you... ;)

    It's mutual, sweetheart. Smiling in cum-drunk bliss with you while you lay next to Me, denied an orgasm, is one of the most fulfilling experiences I've had to date - sexual or otherwise. I love being your Owner.

    Are they ever. Anxiously awaiting our next beginning. :love:
     
  24. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    Visions of @Breathe

    I had visions of Her staring at me. While She mounted another cock. While She fucked him the same way She fucks me. Her eyes still locked with mine and I saw and felt the same amount of unconditional love we've always shared.

    I don't fully understand why when She told me how She'd slip him out and use his cock to grind against Her clit, my cage became insanely tight. It was the fastest our cock has swelled and burst through the bars to a point where I had tears from the pain in the corners of my eyes. I can only begin to guess that I like the idea of Her using other cocks the same way She uses ours, at times. In my head, seeing and watching my Wife fuck is incredibly arousing. I'm just unsure how much of that I want to see and feel.

    I know She loves me. I know none of the things we talk about has any source of cruelty. If I was hurt by these thoughts...She wouldn't indulge in them with me. She wouldn't bring them up. She knows it arouses me. She knows the cage doesn't lie, and so do I.

    These thoughts of my Wife with others only began to surface after chastity became a part of our lives. Which wasn't all that long ago. So, it's very fresh, confusing and exciting. All at once. Chastity has opened up cuckold-esque avenues for us. I'm curious about how far of a drive we're going to take on this road.

    Hearing Her frame scenarios of fucking another has become intoxicating. I don't see a boundary of where it starts or ends. I know there are certain lines I've said I couldn't cross and I know She respects them. But...I've said that before about other elements of D/s and I've ended up exploring them with Her.

    We've dabbled in discussions and fantasies for a few months now. Since the beginning, one thing hasn't changed. I still don't get excited at the idea of an actual man. With a face. A voice or a name. But, a figure seems to kick my arousal into high gear. When She leads me into visions of Her letting another man fuck Her from behind the way She wants. On Her command...while I lay beneath Her and feel every ounce of Her bodies weight shifting from another persons thrusts inside Her, I can't deny the excitement I feel ripple through my body. Having my arms around Her. Her lips on mine. Her sweet voice in my ear telling me She loves me while this is happening. It sends me into a space of desperate love and affection for Her. I feel so devoted to getting Her off no matter how She needs and wants it at the time. She loves our cock locked up. If She wants a big, hard dick inside Her while still wanting to see Her pets caged...then that's exactly what I want to help Her with. I want Her to coat that cock in Her orgasms. I can't deny how good it feels when I hear Her moan and I'm not inside Her.

    I can see Her in my mind so clearly. Straddling and stroking another cock the way She does mine. While staring right at me. It sets me off. Our balls tighten. Everything heats up. It's obvious I love those images.

    We recently shared a short moment of sucking one of Her other cocks that we play with. I thoroughly enjoyed having a cock between our kisses. Watching Her suck it and then feed it into my mouth. Kissing me and feeling Her tongue dancing with mine all over the head. Even when we're performing a similar act together, I feel so submissive towards Her. She leads so naturally. So effortlessly. I love Her for it.

    She mentioned how She'd enjoy watching me clean another mans cum out of Her pussy. Pre-chastity, I don't think I'd react like I do now. Thinking about another man getting to do something that I've only been allowed to do a handful of times would have probably upset me. But...now...the pulsing is immediate when I think about Her telling me and guiding me down to clean up a hot, wet, cum coated mess. My Wife cums...a lot. She causes wonderful messes far too large for anyone to completely clean up. Heh. A great challenge for me. Thinking about adding more cum with a different consistency to it...takes my breath away and that's just the physical aspect. Knowing it's someone else...that She's using to service Her needs while still using me in other ways just adds another level of confusing excitement.

    The way She has introduced the fantasies or scenarios of a third while still being loving, cherishing and romantic has definitely piqued my interest. I'm not sure where it will go. How far or how deep. But. I know it's not a closed road. I just don't know how long the drive is or what the scenery looks like along the way. I suppose time will tell. As always, for us.
     
  25. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Very hot piece of writing smile, left me throbbing against the bars.
     
    bondinchas and Breathe like this.
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