She cares, it’s important, no keys for me

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Nicoftime, Mar 16, 2018.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    In case you haven’t read anything about us, we started this almost 2 years ago. I mentioned I was sexually submissive, and wanted her to control me sexually. I handed her the key and she ran with it the rest of the way.

    Fast forward to this morning. I was putting stuff back in the bathroom, we had just painted and fixed it up a bit, and she saw a set of chastity keys in a cabinet. She said “you hiding keys on me?” I explained that I had half a dozen different chastity devices in the bathroom each with keys, and I probably threw them in the cabinet just so they wouldn’t get lost(the room I emptied the bathroom into is a pit with bathroom stuff all over the place). She smiled and said she’s keeping an eye on me, “I want you caged up and locked away,”

    This made me smile. Although she knows that I made both keys into pendants, her wearing the one and her hiding the larger more showy one, she is still concerned about my ability to unlock freely. We had done away with emergency key a long time ago, besides medical emergency there just wasn’t any reason for it, and the odds of needing to remove it within minutes was extremely low. She thought that if I could just use an emergency key any time I wanted (even if she could see I tampered with it) took away from her actually controlling it.

    So here we are almost 2 years later and knowing I can’t get out of my cage is still very important to her. She even took the keys she found just in case lol! I guess it means a lot to me that it’s important to her, especially now that my schedule has changed, my time with my child has changed, and our routines have been completely nixed until we figure something out.

    Anyway, just wanted to share, especially since so many have keyholders that are casual with the keys, leave them around, forget where they are etc. I’m very greatful @Mistress Amanté cares enough about me and us, that she guards them like a wildcat!
     
  2. Mandyb
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    Mandyb Member

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    Excellent I am trying without actually doing or suggesting anything to get into the same situation
     
  3. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I will admit that my situation is much different than most here regarding their partner and introducing it to them.

    I started seeing her that February and told her all about me and my desires 2.5 months later. She had the option to run out of there, without really being invested yet too much. Going forward meant that she was going to be part of all this. So it wasn’t like trying to convince someone that I was with for years and years to accommodate my newly revealed needs. It was more like “this is who I am, if you are interested in staying”. I imagine the confusion many wives have, is from thinking they know someone and finding out there is this whole other person that was kept secret. It makes them feel lied to, deceived, and forced to conform to something that they have little to no interest in.

    I always try to advice people here that if starting a new relationship, not to let it get too far before opening up. And if already in a relationship of long standing, to keep most of the fantasy stuff out of it and let them evolve into what is comfortable for them. Simply ask them to do you a favor and hold the keys for you. That giving up your sexual control means a lot to you, and you can’t give it up without help. Skip all the benefits and other propaganda, nothing screams bullsh$$?t more than saying you would treat her nicer and do more around the house, if she would just lock your penis up and keep you horny.

    Wish ya luck
     
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  4. Mandyb
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    Mandyb Member

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    That giving up your sexual control means a lot to you, and you can’t give it up without help. Skip all the benefits and other propaganda, nothing screams bullsh$$?t more than saying you would treat her nicer and do more around the house, if she would just lock your penis up and keep you horny.

    Wow that last paragraph was unbelievable thanks
     
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  5. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Mrs Chaste doesn't leave the keys to me laying around! I know exactly where they are. In the key safe attached to wall inside the walk in cupboard, I have no idea what the combination is! When we have a holiday or weekend away (without flying) she used to take the keys with her but she doesn't anymore! The first time she genuinely forgot them but now she just doesn't bother to take them. Funny how she never forgot the strap on and vibrator!
     
  6. Herlicker 1970
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    Herlicker 1970 Long term member

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    Well I’m new to this and it’s not a secret I keep from my wife, I saw Chastity in porn and I loved it, she found out not to long after so it not like I was lying about wanting to be a locked up sub our whole relationship, it just sort of happened. I honestly couldn’t be happier and I do believe she is as well.
     
  7. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    @Nicoftime thank you for these wise words. In the short time my wife and I have been involved with chastity I have struggled a bit with the question of ''what is in it for her?''. For us, it is me being locked up (or on the honour system) and she makes the call on if/when any sex happens, which is only when she wants it to happen. This takes the pressure of her about having sex. To us, that is the key benefit of chastity. And I also get a benefit of not getting unrealsitic expectations (which weren't helping my headspace). For us, the benefits aren't in me doing jobs around the house (which I already do anyway). The benefits aren't in me pleasing my wife sexually every other night - that might happen once every month or two, but only on her say so.

    As always, every couple has their own way of doing this. I guess sometimes it takes couples a little (or long) while to work out what is the way for them.
     
  8. At all Times
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    At all Times At all Times

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    I have to agree with @Panda2010 on this, as like many women out there who don't need to have sex or be stimulated in that way very often, my Mistress wife can now choose when how and if she wants to be serviced by me, and when and if I have earned the right to be allowed an orgasm. With the knowledge that I enjoy submitting to her, being kept teased and denied, and by doing so I am more attentive and devoted to her, my wife is beginning to enjoy her power and control she has over me.
     
  9. Dev810
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    Dev810 Active member

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    Awesome, I told my last GF and she freaked, our relationship was never the same again.
     
  10. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Excellent thread @Nicoftime you always have that way of saying things that go right to the heart of your love and commitment to your spouse. The emergency key sounds like a good idea but realistically their is no need for it. Miss Shelly holds the keys to her property and I have no idea where they are if an emergency ever does happen she would be the first person to know about it anyway so why do I need to know where a key is.

    How many times have we read. " If you lock me up things wil be better between us " chastity can even make things more difficult between two people. It's their Love and Commitment to each other that makes their relationship work. Not who holds the key.
     
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  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I’ve never been good at locking back up, either I’ve just had an O and it’s redundant, or i didn’t and want to.

    I was uncaged for a couple days and we were talking about me going back to day shift and how nice it will be to sleep next to each other again. She mentioned how she missed being able to reach over and touch me when she wanted. I said maybe I don’t need to lock up then. She said ha ha I dont think so.

    That night before work I came out of the bathroom and gave her the key(means I locked up). She gave me a huge hug and said she was the luckiest girl in the world. I tell ya, that sure makes locking up a heck of a lot easier.
     
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  12. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Thank you @Nicoftime for sharing this. I hope that one day ...
     
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  13. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Very true. Saying "If you lock me up things will be better between us" means you're failing in the relationship, you know you're doing it and you're then trying to coerce her into doing something for you as a condition for putting it right! That's going to make so many alarm bells ring.

    Do the things for her first... then she'll do whatever for you.
     
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  14. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    You missed one word. "Maybe" at the end. LoL
     
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  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I only mentioned that it doesn’t fly because the first thing they will ask is “why do you need me to lock your dick up for you to help me out, or to be attentive?”

    If it becomes a side effect that she notices, great. I just wouldn’t lead with it as a pro for being a keyholder.
     
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  16. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    My mistress is the same in that regard, she saw no reason for me have an emergency key and it never came up for discussion. I wish she would wear or at least carry a key on her, it would mean a lot to me but it hasn't been a problem thus far. I'm getting ready to switch into a belt type device which will require 1 to 4 keys depending on how she wants me locked. I'd like to make Her a cool piece of jewelry for the 4 keys she'll have but am unsure what I'll do just yet.
     
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  17. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My pendant I made is old steel and keeps on rusting or gets dark/dull. I’ve tried a poly spray, and an epoxy dip, nothing lasts. I want it to stay looking nice but may be a bit out of my skill set.

    I could try a wax finish or a wax like polish like pledge, but know they would need to be reapplied often.

    Maybe I need to take it to a jeweler to be silver plated.
     
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