Call me Madam!

I'm with Nico on this. Without a doubt there has recently been those who call others Hunny in a condescending manner. They may not realise it as condescending, and that's ok - we're all of us somewhere along our journey of (self) discovery. But although it's ok, it doesn't mean that people will like it, or put up with it for long before calling it.

I tend to think that those dominants that can't turn off their need to dominate for long enough to have a conversation on a web-forum probably are using that constant domination as a hiding mechanism. You can hide from yourself for so-long, but we all meet ourselves at some point along the way.

I don't see this place as a repository of 'mainly' dominant females in any way. I see this place as a place for discussing chastity in all it's varieties, in a mutually accepting manner. No matter what the current forum titles are, the name of the place and it's long history are as a Chastity forum that's open, energetic, and above all, treats all it's members equally.

That is THE reason this place survived long after the others withered and died, as Lockit has pointed out.

I can only suggest that those who read my name and assume that I might be in any way submissive to them, just focus on the latter part of the name. It's far more a play on words than it is anything else.

 

Seriously, what on earth is condescending about 'hunny'? I thought it was an expression of endearment.

I agree, CM definitely does not have a majority of dominant women, and it shows.

 

Context, Frankie, context. It's about the rest of the words and conversation the term is inserted into.

And you'd be right to think that. I've been here for 4 years or so, and in that time been a pretty active member, both in posting publicly, in private chat and in moderating and I don't think I've EVER put myself forwards for anyone to dominate in any way. In fact, I can't foresee any situation where that might happen.

 

@SubVerity, I'm looking for an expert opinion: I've checked the context and all the words inserted into the sentence. Was I just condescended to?

It must depend where you're standing!

 

I dont know - it may well be that each use of Hunny recently has indeed been a mark of friendliness and endearment.

Alternatively.....
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/detours-and-tangents/201705/please-don-t-call-me-hon

and

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=is+calling+someone+dear+condescending?

 

Actually - having read one of the links from the 2nd link in my post above, it's possible that it's a location thing.
Those from southern states of the US being more prone to using them in an honest way. I wonder.

 

@SubVerity, Thanks, I haven't had a chance to read it all yet but I was actually referring to the sentence or two that you fired my way for my enlightenment, but that's probably the law of condescension at work.

 

On a personal note, I hate being called babe. I'm not a pig ffs

 

No apology needed, you haven't done that, it was just a general observation

 

I sent you a private message with a link I bumped up. I was still writing it when you posted these last two, I hope it resonates with you. I didn’t know if you had pm’s off or not so putting it here as well.

If I was the sole reason for you wanting to leave, I can steer clear of you, I wouldn’t want to lessen this place by the loss of your opinions.

Edit... I just got your response. Pm me if my absence from your threads would satisfy a change in your stance.

 

Well, uh...that happened.

I like to think the Mansion is a welcoming place, as Verity said. We have a whole spectrum of users here, from intense dommes and subs to more casual, on-and-off perusers. And though I believe a domme has every right to request being addressed as Madam, I also believe that others have just as much a right to politely refuse. I see no reason why men who are interested in chastity but not "truly submissive," whatever that means, should not be allowed here.

@Mandynjack , I hope you still see more good in the Mansion than bad and continue to enjoy it with us. But if the honest discourse of men of varying submissiveness isn't your cup of tea, hey, I understand, and I wish you the best of luck finding something out there that works better for you.

 

Sad day. Mandy seemed like a woman worth getting to know better. I hope very much she returns, she had fire in her belly and didn't suffer fools gladly. Oh right, that would explain quite a lot.

Meanwhile, bluesmanbob has returned to the Crossroads.

 

I'm not making any demands about femdom, I'm talking about how we engage on this forum. It's a completely different thing.

Although there are many men here, don't expect them all to wish to submit to every woman that swings by, some will of course, but many don't want to and it's with these men that you seem to be finding difficulty.

You've said yourself that you're still finding suitably workable boundaries for your dominant nature. Permit me to suggest that these will likely be found within your own personal relationship with your significant other and any others who agree to submit to you, and not so much elsewhere.

Personally I hope you'll stay around and continue to post and continue to develop.

 

Shame, Mandynjack was an interesting person. Are there still any penis avatars ? Might that have contributed to her disillusionment about CM ?

 

@thundar, I think it had more to do with CM's disillusionment with @Mandynjack and strong outspoken dominant women generally. Some people actually got into a flap about Mandy's use of the word 'hunny'? I've come across some very strange First World Problems over the years but that one's up there with the best of them.

Mandy could have contributed so much to this site, and hopefully still will. She was sharp, intelligent, articulate - she could string sentences together which is kind of an asset in this world of written communication. What is it about dominant women who can confidently express themselves that ruffles some people's feathers? There's endless lip service being paid to the need for a greater feminine presence here, which I definitely support, but that would necessitate accommodating the uncomfortable reality of them sometimes calling males out on their bs. Especially mine.

 

Yes............there's that too

 

I don't mind being deferential to women on this site if that is what they want. I identify as a male sub and that's how I think. But I don't want to set those rules, I'd rather they were set by the individuals involved. Going back to a previous post, if a male Dom wanted to be called Sir, I wouldn't have a problem with that either. It doesn't mean I'm trying to have a scene with him.

I've probably written posts here that have got up people's noses because I wrote them in way too much sub space. I stopped because at the time there were various sneery comments about "super-subs" that I felt were aimed at me, or others like me.

This argument has floated about on various kink forums in various forms for years. There's no answer except as previously mentioned, treat others with respect, allow them to express themselves without fear of criticism and no sneering if what they do isn't what you'd do.

I really hope Mandynjack return. I liked their posts.