Call me Madam!

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mandynjack, Jan 21, 2018.

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  1. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    And I do mean that, it puts a smile on my face lol
     
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  2. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    I just want to say that my comment is just a general statement and my guideline I try to follow at the mansion and I wasn't saying anything against you. I really appreciate your posts and what you share with all of us. I've found many of your posts (especially in the FLR section) to be very informative and honest. Made me rethink a few things in regards to the FLR/ chastity lifestyle. So thank you :)
     
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  3. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    You're very welcome x
     
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  4. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    I think any submissive male with any kind of FLR experience - or interest - is obliged to be respectful to women generally whether in a CM chat room or walking down the footpath. This would be particularly true of a woman who identifies as a lifestyle Domina. I wouldn't think that being asked politely to refer to her as Madam or Lady would kill off any conversation, quite the opposite. There's much to learn from women engaged in actual functioning FLRs.
     
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  5. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Long term member

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    The Golden Rule: never forget it!

    Just be polite, that could be the second Golden Rule, it doesn't matter if you are a male, female, sub, domme, whatever, politeness is and always be the pinnacle of civilization.

    I like the general chat room for chill out and connecting to people. Not always the chat is fun or interesting, but, alas, is like life, it could be better, isn't it?
     
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  6. iome343
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    iome343 Long term member

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    I totally agree with @Mash2214
     
  7. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Politeness costs you nothing but lack of it could cost you all you have and would have had.
     
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  8. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    Its a matter of choice how you wish to address someone.
    Good manners should be normal no matter who ypou chat with.
    As I said I am not into that high protocol thats my choice.
    This is what makes CM the best chastity site on the web.
     
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  9. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Excellent question.

    If there is a 'Mistress' in their name I usually contract it to Ms. Given-Name.
    If there isn't then I just use Given-Name, or whatever comes out of my fingers when I type. Badly as it happens on occasion. Alternatively, I go for 'Hi there.....xyzabc etc.'

    COnversely, most refer to me as either Verity or SubVerity or even Sub - which I take to be a contraction of my given name as opposed to any reference to status.
     
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  10. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    Madam @Mandynjack
    if you prefer to be addressed as Madam in any future threads I will certainly be happy to oblige :)
     
  11. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    As has been previously mentioned, politeness costs nothing. Do some males find it demeaning to address me as Mistress ??
     
  12. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    I don't think anyone here finds it demeaning to address you as mistress or anyone else who chooses to use that title. It becomes demeaning depending on the context in which addressing you as mistress is used. What I was getting at with my original post that you quoted me on is that some women might find it demeaning to themselves and their relationships if their partner/sub is addressing another woman as mistress in a sexual context such as being involved in someone else's scene even if only online. It all depends on the context.
     
  13. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    As said previously in this thread, politeness is free. However respect is earned.

    I speak to a lot of people in my line of work, and when someone introduces themselves to me as "Mrs. Lastname" or "Mr. Lastname" I immediately file them in my obnoxious file. I view that as someone adopting a certain social plane that I may or may not feel is appropriate. It's certainly not yet earned.

    I will be polite with all, but if you put yourself in my sphere and insist on a certain title, I may or may not oblige depending on what I think of you.
     
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  14. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    I see. I encourage jemima to address all females on here as Miss or Mistress but theres certainly no sexual context involved, I hope.
     
  15. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    @Mistress B, I certainly have no problem addressing you as Mistress, it's not really high protocol, just basic courtesy between a submissive male and a dominant woman. CM does seem to be somewhat aligned with female authority so I don't regard the honouring of empowered women as too much of a brain stretch.
     
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  16. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    @frankie teardrop I will say it again just for you.
    Its your choice to address all females as Mistress, Madame etc.
    Its my choice to reserve that title for my Mistress, Mistress Jules.
    You practice chastity without a device 99% of the guys on here use a device.
    Does that make your way wrong? No it does not that is your choice.
    Whatever floats your boat and makes you happy is fine.

    I am sure there are a few gay couples on here. Should dominant partner be addressed as Sir?
     
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  17. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Not demeaning no, just false, and it seems to me to be a bit of a false expectation. No-one here is my Mistress, or my Lord, Duke, Duchess, Queen, Goddess, etc. I've no problem with anyone choosing to call themselves Goddess or Mistress anything, but see it just as a statement of how they see themselves dynamically in their personal lives rather than how they should expect to be treated in interactions on the forum, where tbh I see everyone as being on an even field. Politeness to me is to treat everyone the same and not to exalt or belittle anyone far more than it is to use anyone's preferred personal-pronouns or assumed titles.
     
  18. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    Ok, so irrespective of my confession that started this thread, I feel I have to point out (although it's quite obvious I'm sure) this very special site is a predominance of Female Domination variables. In plain, pretty much dedicated to those men who have either decided or toying with the notion of deferring themselves to women and women who decide your efforts are worth their consideration! The clues are pretty much in the fora titles. Now I have no problem with hubbies declaring their undying submissive devotion to that one and only one special lady in their lives, kudos to you, but please lets not gild the lily on this too much. Your submissive tendencies kicked off way before you met your special lady and your desire for making it real has been either an unconscious or conscious target for as long as that first little twinge kicked in. Take as much high ground as makes you happy, but gentlemen know this; we are women, not imbeciles. If you got lucky and things are dandy for you, don't think for one minute we think that this is a one off for one lady only. It's ok, you're men, we know how you think. And this time, I make no apology for that.
     
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  19. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    @lockit, I don't address all females as Madame, Mistress, etc., never said I did, only empowered women who identify as dominant and who specifically ask me to address them in a particular way (which, as I recall, was more-or-less the point of the original post that described an interaction between two dominant women and two submissive males in the chat room). I think it was resolved fairly amicably.

    Just to go off on a bit of a tangent: I do think a type of power exchange can be built up on-line which is certainly different to a real life one but nevertheless real. It can't hurt to pay attention to cues from dominant women, to serve them in an intangible way that is helpful to everybody. The reality that I'm never going to meet these ladies shouldn't prevent me from deferring to them and honour in their perfectly reasonable and polite requests.

    It doesn't follow that I regard your views as wrong, just different, as it happens I think your relationship with Mistress Jules is quite special ... and there's probably not much point in changing anything at this late stage just to make me happy!

    I know I'm in the 1% minority who don't use chastity devices - a 1%-er and I don't even ride a Harley - I practise tantric orgasm control with some loving help and encouragement, have done for years. It ain't no big deal.
     
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  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Oh how I do love these types of discussions, well as long as everyone stays nice that is.

    In my opinion as a male into this kinda stuff, if a female got all brave heart into character and demanded/requested I address her with a title, I would probably just leave the chat. Not that it offends me, or that she doesn’t have the right to be addressed as she pleases, but because she is a little too far into character for me to take her seriously. It’s not just a male thing either, if I’m in chat and a male is so far into his subbie character that all he wants to discuss is pleasing so and so and the extreme measures to do so, I leave as well. We aren’t on the same level for the kind of back and forth conversation I am looking for.

    I wouldn’t throw a hissy, but I wouldn’t feel the need to placate someone’s online persona on that level with them. You are at a 9 and I need you at a 5 kind of thing. I would excuse myself from the room and see if there is anything else interesting on the internet.

    One thing I’ve noticed, I have read a lot here about being polite, and it not costing anything. I agree, and what I have noticed is that some members feel the desire to don their superior hat with certain language. We all know how that sounds and feels. Calling people sweety, hunny, little one, boy, etc. I am not sure where this became more excepted here, I find it rude and condescending, meant to degrade and enflame.

    The nature of this site I would hope has no bearing on how we treat others who are on it. When or how my sexual submissive tendencies arose doesn’t seem relevant to being a doormat. Same with the fact that yes I would still be sexually submissive whether or not I had found my kh, it still isn’t something I hand out to every female that walks into cm as a door prize.

    As a community, and I think this is, behavior should be toned for mutual respect. There are certain members here that personally I cannot stand or disagree with entirely, I still try my very best to keep it respectful publicly (although once the fur flies I do fight back).

    So I don’t think it’s out of line or terrible to want to be addressed a certain way, I also wouldn’t think it rude for the other to step away from the situation knowing we are on different levels of conversing.
     
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  21. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    Oh, so you think a woman needs to be just the right amount of 'into character' to be genuine! Is that because we are generally more agreeable than men? A little prehistoric viewpoint I think.

    Er.. yes, you're not wrong. But are you saying a dominant female needs your permission to be dominant or she's just plain rude? You can choose to absent yourself from the situation, but that doesn't change her being dominant and exercising her right to be.

    Nothing wrong with a discerning submissive. But I may continue to think that deep down inside, if you were not under ownership, a Domme with some attitude may just tickle your fancy?

    Well in principle I suppose that would be ideal for some, but you may consider that my point regarding men being submissive and the predominance of Femdom.

    You can choose to ignore or you can choose to engage thats your prerogitive, you're nearly a free man. But you don't get to choose another's emotions at that time. And on this site, she may be at the higher end of dominance. Call her whatever suits your emotions, she won't mind one little bit.
     
  22. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    And to ALL of you subbies out there who often bravely present themselves to one of the few genuine dominant females, asking very politely to call her Madam, Mistress, Princess, whatever, I really do understand you and will never judge you. And I know that should I exert a little on you, your response will be one of euphoria, not disdain. You were born to these desires and as long as it's legal, you have my support. You are as entitled to your way of living on this site as anyone else.
     
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  23. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I guess we fundamentally disagree on the principles that submissive means weak or less, and dominant means strong and better. I don’t believe femdom,D/s, FLR, or any kink take away from treating others as you would like to be treated. At least with people you are not familiar with. Sometimes people interact online and forget etiquette and decorum. This being a predominantly femdom related kink doesn’t exclude acting appropriately with people you are not familiar with. Go to a local bdsm club and treat people with disrespect...it won’t matter that you are at a bdsm club. Subs would treat Dommes with respect but fawning all over someone you didn’t know would be just as rude.
     
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  24. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    I don't subscribe to Female Dominance on male submissive terms. The deflecting 'rudeness' comments remain a mystery to me why you continue to bring that up. I have never suggested rudeness is acceptable so you need to plant that one with someone else. And I'm not here to appease your version of this lifestyle, we differ on the meaning of true Femdom and whether you like it or not, my character will probably always balance on the male submissive being what the label suggests.
     
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  25. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    You’re right sweetie, I did keep mentioning rudeness hunny and it was clear you were in no way acting in such a manner little lady.

    So I hope you’d be a doll and forgive me of confusing your lovely terms of endearment with condescension.
     
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