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Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by PouchPantyLover, Dec 16, 2017.

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  1. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    I don't feel particularly qualified for the topic, but I couldn't resist being the first to post in this new section. I'll share my experience in the hopes that it helps other couples navigate their own way. So to start with I was not into chastity. I didn't know chastity porn even existed. I have tried unsuccessfully over the years to introduce my wife to a variety of kinks mainly to spice up our sex life. About a year ago I bought her a male chastity device and the book a key holders guide as a Christmas present. I didn't read the book as I was hoping she would take this and just run with it.

    Sometime late in January I reminded her about it and she told me to put it on. I still remember trying to pee standing up the first time. I figured that's what the hole was for. It was like a fire sprinkler going off. The device also hurt a fair bit from chafing. Because of those two reasons I started doing some research and found CM and got advice about sitting to pee and using lubricant. At first she had a luke warm response to chastity, but was intrigued enough that she decided to play along. So all of the above is saying it was my idea and she was willing to give it a try.

    Fast forward less than a year and we are into 24/7 lockdown. My most recent period of orgasm denial before this one was 4 months. We have an FLR (Female Led Relationship) where I am required to perform domestic service for my wife and she is free to have as many orgasms as she wants with no thought for me. She enforces discipline via weekly punishment spankings and through other acts of domination and humiliation as she sees fit. On the surface we are a fairly normal couple with two kids, a marriage of 17 years and a successful business we run together.

    All of the above is not to say this is what a successful chastity relationship looks like. There is no right or wrong way to do this, there is only what works for you and what ultimately makes you happy. I gave the rundown on myself as a precursor to this advice I would offer couples starting out on this.

    1. Make it fun for all involved. If it's not fun, you won't stick with it. For the couple getting started, start with a chastity game. There's tons you can find on this site. The game defines lock up periods and potentially what happens during the lock-up. This takes a lot of pressure off the newbie key holder.
    2. Communicate with each other. My wife and I would make lists of things we liked and didn't like and exchange those lists and discuss them. These communications should be outside the boundaries of rules you establish so you can be free to speak your mind.
    3. Don't overdo the communication. Guys with a cage on their penis will have a hard time thinking of anything else and want to talk about it all the time. This will annoy the hell out of their partner eventually, so take it easy.
    4. Don't think you can just throw a cage on and wear it forever. Initial lock up times should be short and build gradually. Monitor the health of your junk and keep it clean.
    5. Try not to go into this with a lot of expectations. Keep it simple. These huge complicated contracts kind of crack me up. We started with one rule. She controls my orgasms. We slowly expanded that to she controls everything, but we still keep it simple.

    Best of luck and hope you enjoy the really amazing experience that is Male Chastity.
     
  2. Sylophine
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    Sylophine She has my key and I have her collar

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    Thank you for your advice. Similar situation to you but just one year behind. I am fascinated but what this year will hold. I think your statement of making it fun is the most important and what I strive for going forward. Hope to have some amazing updates in the new year.
     
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  3. terrycuck
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    terrycuck New member

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    nice write up, you sound like youre in a similar position to myself.
     
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  4. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Great write up, not often there is one of these I agree with. Thank you for taking the time to write this @PouchPantyLover
     
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  5. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Thank you @Mistress Jules , that is high praise coming from you.
     
  6. Romeo17
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    Romeo17 Member

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    Thanks for the information. We have been at it for two years but she hasn’t really got into it. She will lock me and tease me and then make me service her pussy and asshole but then she will forget and then I will just unlock my self. This morning we played and she edge me for 30 min. And then locked me but she hasn’t told me how long. I want to be locked 24/7 and denied orgasm I want her to take total control of my cock hope this time it happens.
     
  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    That is a lot of “I wants” lol
     
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  8. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    It seems like your lock up periods are in your hands if you are releasing yourself. So if you want longer lock up times don't unlock.

    In the vein of trying to make it fun you might want to try this. Give her the key and ask her to hide it. Tell her you're going to ask for it back, but urge her to resist. She can also give you tasks to complete to earn points to get it back. What does she want. As an example you get a point for every dinner you cook/clean for and a point for every load of laundry you do. When you get to 10 points you get the key and she gets to decide when you go back in. If she see's a positive for her in the game, she's more likely to play.
     
  9. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    You shouldn't take it off, that's up to her to decide. When she sees it the next morning she'll remember and she'll decide.
     
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