Inhale the future, exhale the past.

My husband and I are new to chastity, even though denial has been a facet of our relationship since the beginning. The excitement I feel by pursuing this path has prompted a new wave of emotions that are impossible to ignore.

I've always been horrible about keeping up to date journals, but maybe this time things will be different. I typically go through phases with actually getting some personal writing done since my work load requires so much of it, so who really knows. Currently, I'm feeling inspired by our discussions as of late. So I'm going for it.

To begin, I'll start with a few cross-posts from another site to give some context. The first three entries will be older pieces I wrote last year, before any discussions of physical chastity occurred. I may pull random bits I've written previously as I come across them, if they are relevant to our story.

I hope this helps anyone who decides to read my rambles to understand a bit about where we've been and where I want to lead us.

 

Conflicted - 8/6/16


I think part of why I feel the way I do, right now, was caused by the brevity of the conversation we had after our play session this morning. I’m not entirely sure why. But the rest... randomly keeps coming back. There are many sides to how I'm feeling about all of this.

About last week. About last June. About the last three years.

I'm so happy - as your best friend - to know you're feeling liberated after coming clean with me... even though it wasn’t driven by your own volition, in any way. I'm still greatly concerned about how you’ve successfully forced yourself to hold onto that discomfort, especially for so long. I truly hope it doesn’t happen again, so you can start to feel a positive difference in yourself… now that you’ve said you're no longer carrying around the hurt and shame of hating yourself for your desires. The fact that you've been doing that actually explains... quite a lot.

As I told you before (and as I've told you, always)... you are not alone.

I've been right here, with you. And, no matter how much you’ve hurt me, I will not pretend like it’d be fair to completely bail on you while you’re going through this transition. After all we’ve been through. After all the ways you’ve supported me. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. You mean much more to me than that, and I hope we always remain friends.

Per our discussions this week, I'm feeling a rush of excitement through unexpected realizations about myself and my own 'identity'. I’m rather surprised it happened in the midst of all this. I still have much more to learn, and I look forward to doing so. Even though I’ve known that my desires and actions haven’t aligned with ‘conventional’ in quite a long time, I now realize that I had stopped questioning certain things that make me tick. Things that make me melt. Things that make me ache. There are so many that I hadn’t fully acknowledged… and some I’d never even considered. I’m excited to investigate myself again, because I’ve already come to some conclusions that I’m rather anxious to explore…

And I want to explore them with you, above anyone else.

The renewed vigor in your expression of submission to Me is… ‘intriguing’, in a word. So many things you’ve said have made those familiar aches fiercely crash together inside of me. My pulse always quickens when I hear you start to bottom out, and my palms always react accordingly. You know what they do to me…

But the way you’ve melted for me over the past few days has produced a deeper thrill in me than I expected. It’s certainly had a different… flavor to it. I’ve enjoyed it very much. I’m anxious for the next week to pass so we can be together again. I’m not sure I could restrain myself any longer.

Randomly, those feelings all fall away, because I… remember.

I never thought I’d feel hesitant or unsure about My Ownership of you. It’s a rather bleak feeling, at times. At others, it’s infuriating. It makes me feel foolish, knowing now that since all of this has come out, you’ve never fully submitted to me, truthfully – the way I required from the start. No matter how much support and encouragement I’ve given you. You’ve successfully hidden yourself from me, for the most part. I’m glad you were sloppy enough for me to notice last year. Who knows where we’d be, otherwise. I can’t think about that. You were lying to yourself, more than you were lying to me. I hurt for both of us, because of this.

There’s been a different heat to what I’ve experienced, feeling you submit to Me over the past week. Not just sexually.

Hearing you beg me while you whimper about your fullness. Grinning uncontrollably while you breathlessly admit your not-so-secret desires to me. Seeing you squirm with desire while we play. Watching you break down through honesty, in tears of admission and shame. Feeling you melt in my hands while I comforted us. Fighting through hot tears of anger while tearing through your secrets after you unwillingly exposed yourself to me. Embracing my wetness while displacing my anger. Reading as you’ve written, admitting to me and yourself, just how much the guilt-riddled lust has affected you.

After Sunday, I’ve remained mostly calm as we’ve discussed everything. Most of my reactions have been rather visceral, however, when I’m alone. I’ve been pulled in so many directions when responding to all of this. I’m floating between support, lust, and anger… and I’ve never felt quite like this before. It’s rather heady and part of me likes it. Another other part of me despises it.

I want everything we’ve discussed in regards to our D/s. But now, it’s incredibly hard to look at some of the words, actions, and ‘toys’… that, to me, carried so much more weight than they apparently did for you.

I miss calling you My sweetheart. My pet. But even just thinking about that forces the aforementioned emotions to stir about, with no hope to control them.

Control is rather subjective, and it seems we’re learning what that actually means… aren’t we?

You’ve expressed your dedication to proving yourself to me, multiple times. It’s always been difficult, maybe even impossible, to ignore your words. I would say you know how much they’ve affected me all these years, but I don’t think you do. Just like I don’t think you realize how many others you’ve hurt by false promises… no matter if they meant nothing more to you than a means to an end. I just wish the words were as special and unique as I thought they were, because knowing you’ve shared similar dialogues with others (particularly those who have hurt you in the process)… makes me want to break something. Anything. Everything.

Time will tell if all of this is real. The timing couldn’t be worse, but right now, there’s no way I can accept that our struggle to come together has been all for nothing. I won’t accept that.

I’ve grown so much, in countless ways, since knowing you.

I feel like a better person, simply by knowing you and growing together through the mutual enjoyment of our friendship. I can smile and laugh with you like no other, and I’ve never wanted that to stop.

Our similar tastes have already taken us on so many adventures while travelling. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be with while exploring the Earth. There are so many places left for us to go. We’ve barely scratched the surface.

Accepting my true self by unveiling my Dominance to you has changed my life entirely. I’m more confident and focused in every day life, prepared to tackle the obstacles between me and my dreams. I’ve grown more comfortable expressing who I truly am… when we’re alone, I can come undone and exert those passions onto you and you’ve welcomed and begged for every… last… drop of Me.

I don’t want to stop. I can’t. I also can’t ignore or forget the things you’ve done to me. To yourself. To us.

I cherish you and all the things we’ve built.

This is why I hurt.

 

Peameal 'n Eggs - 8/18/16


It's been a frustrating summer of ridiculously hard work - full of blood, sweat, and tears... and it's not over quite yet! My job is demanding to a preposterous degree, at times. Manual labor that must be done with great care. Unexpected schedule swings with unpredictable team members. Straining mental situations... It's been a wild ride so far, and I'm glad to be on it. I feel that it will all be worth it.

I try to apply that mentality towards all things.

Going through my personal journey of education and various areas of self-improvement has been quite challenging on its own, particularly in the past several years.

That's without even considering My relationship with @_and_smile ...

We live 800 miles apart right now, but have been seeing one another for three years. We met online and quickly fell into... several rituals, which included speaking on a daily basis. Our involvement with one another didn't hesitate. Those endless Skype chats and 20-minute midday phone calls have led to so, so much more than I ever imagined possible.

The gaps between our visits were quite large, in the beginning. This summer has been amazing in that regard. Now, on average, I'm able to feel him melt under My grip every 3 - 5 weeks. We're working on closing that gap, permanently. A border separates us. I've wanted him here, with Me, for years.

But now I'm not solidly convinced to pull that immigration trigger, like I was, for so long...

He successfully lied to me. About things he shouldn't have hidden... for far, far too long. Things that, had he shared them with me, could have benefited and strengthened our relationship on levels I can only currently imagine. Instead, the past three years have been filled with lies to cover his desires.

Even while he simultaneously grew with me on so many levels. While he shared himself with Me. Traveled special niches of this world with me.

Everything we've done has only made me want more.

It's impossible to ignore the feelings of distrust that were thrust upon me so unexpectedly. And it's extremely difficult, at times, for me to feel the same stable connection to him I've constantly had over the past few years.

Other times, it's like nothing negative has ever happened. Even better than that, actually.

And beautifully... simply... he is Mine. Purring in My lap, happily submitting to My fingertips with zero effort or hesitance, whatsoever. Whining in delight and frustration. Leaving our inhibitions behind. Just as we should be.

It's a struggle, for me. But I'm doing my best to deal with it. He is my best friend in addition to everything else, and I'll always be there for him. The wounds imparted on our love life and D/s, however, certainly need some mending.

Watching him cook breakfast while I sit here, sipping my coffee and writing... is another pleasure that I don't yet have the words to describe. I'm not sure I ever will. I have the luck of spending 10 days with him before classes begin. It's been quite a relief to wake up next to My sweet, submissive pet every morning.

Smiling. Happy. Hard. Ready.

Ready for everything the day might hold. For everything he can do to please Me. For everything we've planned to do together.

I love My alarm cock and I don't like living without him.

We've had several 'long' trips so far. Each time, we grow closer. Each time gives insight to what we could be like... how our lives could change, all for the better. We've discovered some very hurtful things along the way. But I can't ignore the feelings I get when he's with Me. The ratio of positive discoveries we've made far outweighs the negative.

He supports my every move to better myself. He helps me recharge when I need to feel warm arms around me, laced with encouragement. He's learning how to serve Me and all of My needs... and our mutual discoveries as of late have given Me a weighty wetness throughout my days and I couldn't love it more.

Seeing him focus so intently on getting those eggs just right, while remembering the breathless puddle he was melting into this morning as I touched him... puts quite a smirk on My face.

It's slightly maddening. Floating between these thoughts of lust and anger.

The look he has when he places a plate next to my coffee cup... that tiny twinkle, desperate for approval... I never want to see it fade. I only want to see more.

Only time will tell if he's truly willing to give everything to Me.

And speaking of time... I'm due for a nibble of his shoulder.

 

On your knees, and on your feet - 9/12/16


That’s how I want to see you.

I want to watch you turn into a quivering mess through nothing but My love and control. Covering yourself in My release, spreading your smile while I spill. Begging Me for more, because it’s what you need.

On your knees.

I want to watch you go through life, embracing yourself. Planting your feet firmly on the ground. Exchanging your bitter lenses for a clear pair, centered on progress. Trekking towards tests of the world, unwavering. Learning to love and accept yourself without losing stability.

On your feet.

Your work is repaid at a different expense. A will to be reassembled, not broken. A means toward enrichment and personal growth. There’s no place for shame. Only desire and truth.

I want to see you move. I want to feel you grow. I want to hear your need. I want to taste your sweat. Knowing all the while, you're becoming better. Enhancing yourself, and us. Drawing strength from your transparency to Me, sending shockwaves of improvement through your daily life.

Are you ready to become yourself?

I want these things for you, mostly so you can gain the clarity of self-acceptance… but also so you can understand similar effects I’ve experienced. Embracing Myself has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Being able to unleash the Dominance in all areas of life, instead of locking it away because a partner or society didn’t agree… has been invigorating. It’s changed the entire trajectory of my life. I believe I’m headed towards the ‘progress’ we've spoken of, countless times. It’s only happened through shining light on the truth. Lying to myself prevented that, for far too long.

That part of my life is over. And I hope yours is, too.

There is power in your submission to Me. Power to alter your entire life in a positive direction. Being true to yourself can be one of the hardest things to accomplish – and yet, the most rewarding. How well I know this to be true… after my relatively short time on this Earth, I do not want to take that lesson lightly. I want to continue strengthening my personal growth and My sexual dexterity through honesty. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

With time and understanding, it becomes easier. Righting your wrongs and taking a stand for yourself. Everyone stumbles along the way, but in my experience... it’s the effort you put forth that matters most.

I think you’re starting to see that in yourself, now. What you can experience through exposure to the truth. I’ve seen the look on your face. That look you’ve had because you finally knelt with transparency.

You’ve finally started to open your eyes.

It’s a path to a better you. A stronger us. A gateway to a stable, guilt-free environment where we can grow and play. Speak and spill. Love and learn.

On your knees and on your feet.

Don’t you feel free this way?

 

Thanks for the kind words, @ineverknew.

It sounds like your relationship has been a rare one indeed, full of long-lasting love, acceptance, and honesty. I hope to be so lucky! It feels like we're heading in the right direction... the level of intimacy we've shared over the past year has been quite, special to say the least. I look forward to cultivating more.

 

And with bated breath... I pressed 'confirm order'.

This should be interesting.

Very excited Owner today. Counting the days until My pet arrives (12!). We'll have three weeks together for the holidays, and I couldn't be happier. Especially now that I'll have a fun new toy to play with!

I hope you're ready, @_and_smile.

 

Hmm. Toy²? Sounds even better.

 

The daydreams keep hitting. Every day for the past week, part of me has been consumed by thoughts of hearing that tiny little lock click shut and I can't ignore the excitement I feel.

Sure, some of these emotions could be described as 'giddy'... that anxious enthusiasm that creeps into your mind when a prospect of something new and intriguing arises.

But this feels different.

I've felt something... deeper in the past week during our discussions. A calm wave of honesty and connection that explodes into heated talks full of intimacy and desire. Levels that we've only touched on before, despite the deeply fulfilling moments we've already shared.

Progress.

So ready to see where this life takes us, @_and_smile.

 

24 hours left and I'm restless. I must admit, it's fun to feel the ridges on this side of the coin sometimes. I suppose I deserve a dose of maddening anticipation as well, after all...

We knew it already, but six weeks is too long. Forget orgasms or kink altogether for the moment... the deep warmth of your laugh, the pleasing resonance of your voice through your chest, and the sweet smile in your eyes are the things I've missed the most. Yes, I see you frequently and hear you daily while we're apart... but I think our distance is the highest form of sensory deprivation I've felt to date.

I understand the mechanics behind those practices, every time you return to me. All the senses I indulge (or deny) with you on a daily basis come crashing back into reality, heightened to an indescribable degree when touch is finally factored back into the equation. Not to mention taste...

Such perfect catalysts. Extended denial, fulfilling release.

The results have always been worth the wait, no matter the context. That fact, among so many others, convinces me we're headed down the right path with this lock.

I hear that you're exhausted on our call tonight... you're now snoozing as I write this, drifting off to sleep after a busy night of packing. You kept falling asleep while trying to say goodnight. I'm smiling because I know we don't have to, for three weeks straight, come this time tomorrow...

The next breath I take with you in my arms will be so deeply satisfying.

 

Even though he's unlocked at the moment, I find Myself smiling peacefully as I sit here with My coffee, watching him cook breakfast for us (yet again). It's been an interesting week and we've both certainly learned a lot, to say the least. I want to get some of these moments down while they're fresh, but I have a feeling today will be one full of delightful distractions...

(... proven by the fact that I've now since locked him, used him, loved him, and watched him cook dinner for us since starting this post. It's been a lovely day and I believe I'll break up these updates more than I'd originally planned!)

He arrived late last Friday night. Tired, groggy, and frustrated from the nine hour drive... but his smile quickly returned after our stumblehugs and reunion kisses. It's always a special moment when he comes back to Me, but this homecoming already felt different.

Weeks of heated discussions regarding deep desires, old and new, preceded this arrival. Add six weeks of separation and denied orgasms (for him) on top of this wait; we were both cognizant that the weight was heavier than usual. A promise for something familiar and something new. Our wait was finally over, for now.

He hungrily tasted Me, as he always does shortly after his return. After an actual snack, we chatted for a while and he smiled upon noticing the key around My neck. We were both excited for what(ever) was ahead.

Despite My creaky old bed, that night was the best sleep I'd had in weeks. My pet was finally back in My arms.

Home.

 

First day with chastity - 12/16/17

I locked him Saturday morning after breakfast. It was a humorously awkward tinkering session that lasted roughly an hour or so. We tried a soft stocking and we tried lube... likely too many times in retrospect, judging from the skin irritation that ensued. We were both determined to get the cage on, but My pet's chubbiness made that quite the task the first time! We soon figured out that the stocking method just wasn't going to work, but after some trial and error we succeeded with a copious amount of lube.

Hearing that lock click for the first time was something I doubt I'll ever forget. The soft, sweet smiles we shared in that moment formed an already fond memory in this journey. So did the laughs we shared after struggling to get him inside.

We excitedly exchanged first thoughts... intrigued smiles over a cigarette. Of course I couldn't take My eyes off the new outline slightly bulging in his pajamas. We went back inside, and he quickly slipped into My bedroom. He came back out with a box. "Seeing as I won't be using mine as often, I figured I could go ahead and give You one of your Christmas presents!" he said with an eager smile.

I opened the box, grinning as I found a playful rainbow dildo inside. I'd spotted it months earlier while we had shopped for a new toy. Most of My cocks are realistic but I'm a sucker for properly aligned rainbow gear, so he tactfully noted My enthusiasm and bought it later. I kissed him in thanks, took it to the bathroom to clean it, and propped it in the shower to dry.

I then suggested we bathe to clean off the lube and get our day started. We had a full day planned to enjoy this city while I'm still here in school, as is our tradition when he visits. I turned on the water but he beat Me inside, as usual. As I let down My hair and stripped down, I watched him as the water ran down his skin. The streams had a lovely new pattern as they traced the outline of the cock cage I'd locked him in. I was already smiling.

I stepped in to join him, and it didn't take long for us to get sudsy together. He tends to get rather excited when My breasts are coated in soapy bubbles, and this time was no exception. We kissed happily, sharing more smiles with sighs of reunion as he purred and rubbed my slick body.

However... the growls came quickly after I held him closer. His hands wrapped around My hips and My ass more tightly, and he gripped Me with a heated enthusiasm. He kissed Me harder and pushed us against the misty tiled wall, pressing the cage between My soapy thighs. It felt like a switch had been flipped. He buried his face into My neck and held My hips tightly. I lifted My leg and placed a foot on the side of the tub and he stepped in closer, leaving no space between us except for those steel bars.

A frustrated whine followed by a hungry growl escaped his throat as he pumped fruitlessly against My slit, slapping his skin against Mine. I felt the angled edges of the new lock pressing against My soapy skin with each thrust but enjoyed the contrasting texture. I let him continue to fuck against Me in vain. I wrapped My arms around his shoulders and smiled as he pressed himself harder into My neck with a whimpering sound of defeat.

I moved My hands to hold his face. I smiled and sighed, "Breathe," as he grinned back at Me. We kissed and shared another giggle as he took a few deep breaths. "I guess I felt like this was the last time or something!" he laughed. "A little late after being locked up, but I have to admit I enjoy your enthusiasm," I replied. I grabbed the rainbow cock and placed it in his hands. "Use this instead."

The water was running cold so we hopped out and toweled off... but not before I snapped a photo to capture his cheerful acceptance of our new arrangement.

​

We moved to the bed, skin still dewy from the shower. His lips twitched in a smile as he felt its weight in his hand. It's not light (or small), that's for sure. We kissed as he slid the new thickness inside Me. I felt Myself stretch and moan as he started to fuck Me with the new toy. I purred and nibbled his shoulder as I let him work it deeper still. I had him use My present for a while longer as he held Me in a warm, wet embrace... both of us grinding against one another and the bed sheets. I enjoy edging Myself as much as I enjoy edging him, and this morning had been the perfect start.

Despite our excitement for him to remain caged all day, we removed it after noticing some swelling. Thank goodness for baby oil gel! His fevered motions in the shower and on the sheets (not to mention our repeated stocking stuffer attempts) left him a bit raw.

This wouldn't be the first time, as we would soon find out...

 

Alma Mater – 12/19-20/17

We’ve been playing with lock times, having variable results. The cage fits almost perfectly; the base ring has delicious results when he keeps it on during an unlocked ride… an unexpected benefit. I certainly enjoy it!

​

The overall design of the cage itself leaves enough exposed areas for our tastes while still denying him most sensation. I can tease him with it using My mouth or by sliding it against My wetness. He seems to rather enjoy the metal bars against the head of his cock when he gets semi-erect. However, the internal diameter is a bit small for long-term wear and the setup twists readily. I’m not convinced he could break free, though.

If I felt like he wanted to try, I wouldn’t be interested in chastity.

He braved through sleeping inside it a few nights earlier, despite some already-present irritation the night before… which wasn’t our best call. He told Me he enjoyed the ache at first, but after four serial erections and a lost night of sleep, it was obvious his skin needed a break. I’m thankful the cage is metal; from what he described, he might’ve burst through a similarly sized plastic casing.

I decided to keep him out for a couple days as we closely monitored the condition of his skin. The chafing is normal for anyone in chastity I imagine, at least to some degree. As excited as I get locking him, I definitely have no interest in breaking this cock. I rather like using it, so taking it slow seemed to be the best move.

---​

After a few days of visiting family and friends, we’d landed in My old university town. It felt good to see the familiar scenery – much warmer than either of us are used to anymore! Even though we were enjoying the weather, it’d been a few days since we’d had much alone time. I could tell he was starting to get restless.

The last morning in our hotel room, he was extra grabby. His whine was near constant, sharp wails clamoring to slip inside. I moved up to straddle him and he immediately started thrusting upwards, trying to find Me. I moved My hips away and batted at his hands, feeling a bit of hesitant reluctance in his grip. He didn’t want to let go and this was the first time he’d resisted My commands in a while. He was insistent to be inside. He pulled back down.

I smiled as I thought, ‘you’re really not making this easy on yourself, sweetheart.’

I’m game to make it worse.

I began to hover over him, increasing the tease. I’m sure he could feel the heat radiating from My soaked thighs. It always gets to Me when I think about ‘correcting’ this behavior… his reactions feed the ache I find inside. I was dripping wet and ready to fuck, but I knew I wasn't going to let him in.

Cue somewhat familiar backtalk. “This cock is just ready for You to take it! It’s all Yours. You can just use it. It’s Yours. You know you want to!”

He uses this tactic when he’s feeling extra needy. But now he was referencing his healing skin, which I’d certainly missed coaxing to life. He knows morning wood is My favorite and he was trying to use it as a bargaining chip. I just grinned.

Silly pet, I know that cock is Mine. I’ve developed a recent affinity for keeping it locked in a cage, after all.

After smiling and nodding My head as I ‘listened’ to his panicky concerns and desperate pleas, I’d decided there’d been enough words. I climbed forward and sat on his face to stifle his whines.

It’s quite entertaining how getting smothered with My pussy will bring him back to our reality so quickly.

He moaned into Me and sunk his tongue inside, as deep as he could. His frustration turned into the much more familiar deep moans and growls I usually hear. He started aggressively sucking My clit as I rode his lips, bringing Me to the edge again and again. I fought it. It wasn’t time for the soaking. I knew he wanted that, too.

I pinched his nose to cut off his breathing, something that’d crossed My mind a time or two. His already-wet breath stopped, and I heard an unpleasant grunt. However, he didn’t stop. I let him free and continued to ride his face to My delight and his growls returned. He mentioned later that the pinching move wasn’t his favorite, and I’m glad he spoke up. It didn’t do much for Me anyway, considering I’m thick enough to smother him just fine with My body.

He continued the forced feast and gripped one cheek while slapping the other, something that makes Me bite My lip every time. I reached back and slapped his cock a few times, enjoying the way the jolt broke through him. After getting My fill of his tongue on My clit, I climbed off of his face and sat back next to him.

I smeared My juices all over his face, making sure he had an even coat all over. “Now, do you remember that I’m the one who knows what’s best for our sex?”

He sniffled, trying to breathe as his sinuses were filled from My aggressive face-fucking. “…yes. I do. I’m sorry…”

Damn it, that cute Canadian accent gets Me every time.

I petted his face and told him to put on some oil to keep My cock moisturized. I wanted it to be ready the next time I felt like using it.

He obeyed and we got ready to head out to our next destination: back to My place, for a weekend alone.

 

Bittersweet Release

I've always enjoyed making him wait weeks at a time until orgasm. And never without significant and satisfactory service of My needs coming first. Our distance makes certain decisions more difficult, but I've been happy with our progress thus far over the course of our relationship.

I find, after 5-6 weeks or so of tease and denial... there's a really sweet spot of submission. Close care and attentiveness. Not to say it doesn't exist in the interim, but a different level arises.

I grin every time I see it start to happen.

However, the relentless teasing (of him and Myself) has always drawn to a close when I want to release him. It's gratifying for Me to see his face when I finally say, "Yes - cum for Me".

He gets so soft and sweet - then heated and anxious, thrusting into Me like it's his first (or last) time. Mm, those pumps feel so fine... albeit too few. He never lasts long after I tell him to let go.

(Good thing we're exploring a new direction in harness play. )

Even after six weeks of separation, there were extended days of tease and denial. No matter how close he gets, I think he's finally getting smoother internal programming... Allowing him to successfully breathe back from the edge and keep serving Me.

It's deeply satisfying for us both.

That's why he's still waiting for the second one.

---

Several things (mostly good, but some not so much) have happened since My last post, and I'll elaborate later.

Briefly, I can express My desires to continue learning how to ruin him. I was dripping wet, watching him buck and spill... Without losing his thickness or arousal. It's a possible solution for subdrop and I'm anxious to see how we grow with these concepts.

There are always bumps in the road (or under the cage), but I wouldn't change this ride with you for anything. The highs are so sweet, no matter the lows.

Who knows. Maybe this chastity journey will double as the stress relief we've both needed. Wherever it's taking us, I look forward to bringing you with Me, @_and_smile.

 

“So, I've gotta ask...” – 12/29/17

During My visit up North, we went to a holiday party with several of his friends. I'd been to this event for the past three years and have always enjoyed the time spent there. I hadn't seen any of them since last December, and we'd gotten married since that time. I was curious to see if our reception would be any different this time around, since I was 'officially in'.

(Slightly off topic... but I always have more questions to ask! Has anyone here experienced that whole 'committed partners are more attractive to other people' phenomenon? I understand the mechanics of it; it makes perfect sense. I was a little surprised, but I saw a bit of that directed towards pet at this party [not from the inquirer]. But it really just left Me with a smile in the end, thinking: "Well... too bad; he's Mine." )

We had to dress warmly due to the bitter cold and snowy conditions. Bundling was essential when going outside! However, I knew he would be wearing an extra layer at all times tonight. I was excited about going to our first social gathering, having him locked for Me. I proudly wore My key on a necklace to match. The 'pendant' was on full display with My black v-neck sweater. I was rather pleased with our attire for the evening as we headed out the door.

We landed in the middle of the pack, the best time to arrive for gatherings in My opinion. Cue friendly hugs and upbeat conversations as others came through the door. Drinks were poured and group games were played, a fun time for (most) everyone. After a bit of mingling, pet and I were refreshing our drinks and grazing on hors d'oeuvres. One of his female friends (likely My favorite, even before this night) came over to us and started to chat.

The standard small talk of cramming in a year's worth of pleasantries was had. She's always so nice with her interests, though. She asks more questions than most - likely why I've always enjoyed talking to her. After a few minutes, she changed the subject and held eye contact with Me.

“So, I've gotta ask...” she paused. “What's your key for?”

I'd imagined a moment like this coming at some point, so I'd previously tinkered with a few ideas on how to respond. Nothing would be perfect in any given scenario so I'd have to take a shot. No matter who asked Me, I knew I was going to be honest... albeit in a round about way. I took a sip of My beer before answering.

“It’s for an important lock and I can’t afford to lose it.”

She smiled as she always does, and continued to ask questions.

“Oh, so it’s for a set or something? Something really important?”

I smiled with My response. “Yes. I keep it close at all times, when I can.”

“That’s nice. So nice. Now, is this something he brought to you… or did you get it… or…?”

Pet had told Me that out of all his female friends, she was likely the kinkiest. She had a particularly colorful nickname during high school that proves it. I definitely saw that before now, but this conversation coupled with the look in her eye seemed like she wasn’t entirely clueless to what we were actually talking about. She had a vibe, and I’d say it’s hard to ignore.

I couldn’t stop My smile from widening at this point, regardless if she knew or not. “Oh, yes I decided to get one for Myself and it’s working nicely.”

She beamed as expected. “Good, that’s good.”

After a brief pause, she hugged us both. She smiled again. “It’s so great to see you guys! Is anyone going for a smoke soon?” A small pause where I looked at pet and smiled, then looked back at her. “Yeah, we could go for one,” I said.

My grin was pretty smug when I looked at him as she walked away. He looked a bit baffled but calm, not wanting to let on… but we still shared a smile. After a group smoke, she sat next to us during the gift exchange and kept talking about general things. It was an enjoyable night, overall.

He’s apprehensive with certain kinds of exposure, whereas I’m a huge fan in the right setting. He still says he doesn’t think she knows, but I’m not quite convinced. Regardless, that conversation was a deliciously brief interlude that kept Me a little wet for the rest of the night... until we got home and he cleaned Me up with his tongue, cock firmly locked 'til tomorrow.

 

I think if I would have been more specific, he'd have keeled over right then and there.

No interest in making him mix his desires with life's vanilla, but. Warming him up for something a bit different someday... we'll see.