Trying to find a way to make this work...need creative ideas

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by mattstr, Nov 10, 2017.

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  1. mattstr
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    mattstr New member

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    My wife and I were talking last night; she expressed a few things that she felt unsatisfied with, in terms of our sex life.

    The biggest thing is that she wants me to be able to last longer... to "fuck her harder, for a lot longer". However, that is difficult for me anyway and always was, even before we started playing with tease, denial, chastity, etc. It is made even more difficult if we are having sex after me having been denied for a few days or week or whatever. It could literally be over in a minute or two. I try to do things like slow down, hold back, etc which helps a little but she says that isn't really satisfying to her (me slowing down the thrusting, stopping and starting, etc).

    Of course, there are some things that could be done, like her letting me out if I'm locked and letting me masturbate a few hours before we're going to have sex (we usually plan sex due to kids, schedule issues, etc), but her and I both agree that that whole idea is kind of in conflict with denial, chastity, etc.

    Has anyone else been in this situation where your wife wants more stamina but it's tough after a period of denial? Were you able to come up with a solution that still allowed chastity, tease and denial to be (at least somewhat) a part of your lives? I am very flexible and open to all ideas/options. I love T&D and want it to stay part of our sexual activities but also want her to be as satisified as possible with the actual sex when we have it.

    Thanks for any input!
     
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  2. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    My best suggestion would be for you to wear a strap on while you remained caged. I do this occasionally for my wife and she quite enjoys it. She gets the pleasure of a dick (bigger than mine) and it lasts exactly as long as she wants it to. Not a second more or less. If your wife really wants your dick than I'd suggest you research numbing creams and sprays or start wearing a couple of condoms. I fail to see how masturbating before sex would help at all. Seems that would just make you cum faster?
     
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  3. NsToy
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    NsToy Long term member

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    How about some numbing cream and then wearing a condom. Use a cock ring (or your base ring) and you should be able to pound away at her and not feel a thing, i.e. last quite a while. I'm still waiting to try that with my wife but I've heard others say how succesful it was.
     
  4. gyrator53
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    gyrator53 Member

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    I agree with @PouchPantyLover - we both really enjoy my using a large strap-on. My wife says she prefers the real thing but the sounds she makes when she is receiving the dildo say otherwise.

    She used to complain that it was too cold so I keep it slung over the towel-rail under a bath-robe (in the hope that any unexpected visitor won't see it) and also have a cool-box with a hot-water bottle in the bedroom to make sure it stays warm on occasions when I'm getting "first bite of the cherry". :)
     
  5. NsToy
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    NsToy Long term member

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    My wife has mentioned the same thing about a dildo we have when I've used it on her. In my hand mind you since I don't have the harness (yet). I've wondered about having it warm for those occasions when things are kind of spur of the moment.
     
  6. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Yeah, cold dildos are not a problem when you live in the tropics. Hadn't ever thought of that, but I could see that being an issue.
     
  7. NsToy
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    NsToy Long term member

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    Well, living in Florida is considered the tropics but our AC is kickin so the dildo isn't body temperature.
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Between Johnson (her dildo), harness, the doxi wand, and my mouth, unlocking is solely for my benefit, and wouldn’t miss a thing if I stayed locked.

    Using the strap on is a great way to try position I couldn’t reach, go hard and fast without worrying about slipping out, and you don’t have to worry about cumming too soon.

    Warning...don’t be a cheapskate, but a nice one, and not one you think she likes, or it will stay in the drawer. It’s a bit more expensive but there is a material called UR3 or something like that, it’s about as life like as they come, warms to the touch easily, and isn’t rock hard like plastic or rubber is.

    We have a few harnesses and a few toys that fit in them. When she says “I want you to fuck me”, unless I’ve already been unlocked, I know she means get Johnson.
     
  9. chasteta
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    chasteta Active member

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    I second the numbing cream and a condom over that. You can stay rock hard but the sensation is diminished enough that it makes it easier to control.

    I still struggle with the same problem. Normally I can last a good 10 minutes or so before having to slow down a bit, then another 10 minutes, etc. After a week with 0 stimulation, I literally can't get fully inside of her without reaching orgasm.

    I think tease and edging sessions might be a good compromise. If I'm unlocked I'm not allowed to touch without permission. And if I'm told I can stroke myself, I can't reach orgasm without permission either. Somewhat regularly getting close to orgasm but not going over the edge will increase your stamina and make you better at focusing on other things.

    And, of course, if none of those work for you replacing your cock with a strapon harness is always an option. I've even seen kits where you can make a mold of your cock and pour a material to harden into a dildo, wouldn't that be wonderfully cruel?
     
  10. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    there are also penis sleeves. though to be honest wearing one and horny I was still able to cum with one on. so maybe some numbing cream with a sleeve. I think the one I had was on amazon called black mamba. And we have some boy butter extreme desensitizing, though its not all that extreme.
     
  11. imasissytoo
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    imasissytoo Active member

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    You are not telling us how long your sex lasts? 5-10-15 minutes? Then compare yourself to those statistics . The stud in porn that lasts an hour--- You are aware of the countless retakes that are spliced together. By the way your " over in two minutes" Lots of studies show men cum in less then 2 1/2 minutes. Seems you are in the normal range.
     
  12. gyrator53
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    gyrator53 Member

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    I have two - the original one is the Double Trouble from Stormy Leather.

    http://www.stormyleather.com/product.asp?3=2114

    It must be at least 10 years old but the leather is really good quality and will last a lot longer still. We also bought the SpareParts deuce and, although its comfortable the velcro fastenings of the waist-band are not a good idea and I just can't get the thing as tight as I like it for good control so the old harness comes out most times.
     
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  13. gyrator53
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    gyrator53 Member

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    I have to say that using the strapon is one of my favourite things. I just love the certainty that it is going to get the job done. I find I'm incredibly turned-on by the way my wife not only accepts it but totally enjoys it. I can tell during foreplay that she is more aroused than normal in anticipation of a very good time. And I love being able to concentrate 100% on using it to the best effect possible. I can keep her balanced on the edge for ages without the worry that I may need to tip her over the edge to avoid cumming myself.
     
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