Hi, all-I've been locked for about 2 months now-not 24/7, it simply isn't possible with my work, but I get in my cage as soon as I get home and leave it on until time to dress for work in the morning. And, it's on almost all weekends or days off. Except, of course, when my beautiful wife/kh wants to unlock me for some fun. Here's the situation I've encountered in the last few days: When she announced it was time to be unlocked, I felt bad. I didn't want to get out of my cage because that generally means she wants (and gets) PIV and that I will orgasm. And I almost dread it because of the emotional/psychologic let down after I cum. Don't get me wrong-the anticipation is great. When she teases me, my cock starts struggling in its cage and I love it. In other words, the build up is the good part, but the post-cum crash is almost not worth it. I even asked last time if it was really time to unlock me then. Its really a fascinating (and a bit scary) feeling for me and hard to explain. So, my question(s): Is this a common sensation? Do others here love being locked so much that they don't want to get out to orgasm? Do you think it means anything longterm regarding sexuality/gender/etc?
Yes I feel the same, I get a huge crash seconds after coming. I'm kept locked 24/7 and only released when she wants to play. The hard part for me is the 1 or 2 days I'm not feeling very horny, after coming.
I'm in a situation that's new to me, I've been locked for mostly a week to 10 days at a time for almost 3 years. Granted there have been a couple of breaks never spanning more than a month. This last year chastity kind of lost its luster, my mistress couldn't be as involved because she been going to school and it has been an intense program. There have been times that I wanted to quit but something always brings me back and I always end up locked for her. Well this last month she finally started her masters program. And we have had almost zero time for each other. I haven't had a real orgasm for 3 weeks now and I've noticed big positive changes in myself as well as doting upon my mistress like we just met. She noticed the changes in me almost instantly and I think she's been wondering to herself why she never tried locking me for longer periods ages ago. A couple nights ago was the first time I got to pleasure my mistress in roughly 3 weeks and I stayed caged while I did it. She flat out offered me to unlock, I just stayed quiet and she didn't push any further to get the key. After she came she could care less about making me cum and literally went to sleep, it was pretty hot. We talked about it later and I explained to her that I really wanted to cum but I'd come so far and didn't want to lose my heightened state of willingness to do whatever for my mistress. Plus I've been feeling great and much more positive and productive lately. We agreed it was better I stay locked. However she is going to grant me an orgasm in the near future and I looking forward to it but also dreading it as you said. I love how I'm feeling and don't want to lose it but I definitely want to cum again. I doubt my mistress would be into milking but it might be a road we venture down since she likes my current behavior so much. So I completely understand where you're coming from.
As I just replied in another thread, I seem to respond to being locked long term far more easily than short periods. It'll sound like bragging, but I've gone a full year orgasm free once. I'm hoping that isn't a situation that will continue. Closer to the post I think, is that I feel very uncomfortable when I'm not locked up. I was given my keys for my vacation and did unlock that first night. I attempted and achieved as close as I've managed to a ruined orgasm to that point then, within an hour, locked back up without telling Ms K/H. I stayed locked and gave her the keys back about 3 days later. I felt uncomfortable unlocked. A C/D friend of mine who was a self/locker until she asked me to be her keyholder once warned me that once I started locking up for chastity I wouldn't stop was entirely too correct. I've been replaced as her keyholder, but I know she was right. If Ms K/H decided she wanted nothing to do with her present role of controlling my sexual release, I would attempt to find another keyholder or simply find a way to keep myself locked.
Surely the issue is not whether or not YOU want to be unlocked. It's whether or not your KH wants to unlock you.
True enough, but the idea was IF she changed her mind about being my keyholder. So far, she's embraced and run with the idea and I have NO idea if or when I'll be unlocked. She enforced my fantasy of a full year locked, so I have no compunctions that she might have another full year in mind but I do NOT want her to tell me when. It's at her will as I told her when I handed her the keys back.
I prefer to stay locked and get my wife off whenever she wants and learn to enjoy the sexual tension I get. I self lock using emlalock online and self milk once 30 - 60 days. It an odd way of doing things but kinda works since she not embracing kh
No, no I didn't intend to give that impression. I absolutely do everything she wants in this context. When she wants to be pleasured with my tongue or hands, or she wants me to use a vibrator on her, or she wants PIV from me, she gets it. She sometimes even prefers to have me jerk off in front of her so she can watch. The point was that there are times that she unlocks me when I would not have chosen to otherwise. In other words, I'm sometimes seem to prefer denial (being locked up) to the actual orgasm, because it's such a let down afterward. It's just such a fascinating psychological response to being in chastity. The whole idea of chastity as an improvement to a couple's sex life just seems counterintuitive. But it's been a huge boost for us, and obviously for many others here. It's just so hard to explain and understand.
I dont have an issue with self control during intercourse or any other stimulation but I do empathise on the not really wanting to get out in case you cum. You raise an interesting question. When you have been in while and are expecting to be a lot longer would an orgasm now be seen as being welcome or not.. maybe even perceived as some kind of a punishment? Food for thought perhaps. And no I have not resolved that one in regard to myself yet.
Not yet. We have a strap on, and she has used it on me. Never really thought about me using it on her while I am locked up. Interesting.
Since last spring my Wife has accepted my request that I never be allowed to cum again. When She unlocks me for sex if I lose control She makes sure my orgasm is ruined. It is much better for both of us this way
What your experiencing is very normal. When I started to serve my wife's needs and in return she would do something to stimulate me and make me wet. I found that being on a higher level of sexual excitement all the time is more satisfying than peaking when having and Orgasm than having the emotional fall. Also it would take days for me to get back to where I was emotionally. Your Spouse/KH could still be thinking that for you to have an Orgasm is the ultimate, when to be held close all the time is what your Goal may actually be. Talk to her about this but be prepared for not having an Orgasm for a lot longer time than you have ever not had one before. This can be a very exciting and rewarding time if you allow it to happen ( or not happen ). Enjoy your new Journey
I just thought of something. Years ago when we were just getting started with chastity my Mistress would allow me an Orgasm about once a month. She always planned my release around a time when we wouldn't be together so the 2-3 days or more that it took for me to over come the crash I was locked but with no interaction from her. When we were back together I was excited and ready to serve.
I highly recommend it. It takes a little discipline but it's a tremendous way of providing service while honoring the orgasm denial aspects of chastity. Plus, it can really reinforce the submissive headspace.
Have had the same post-orgasm depression and our solution is for Her to periodically milk me and relieve the buildup with me cumming. When milked, I am simply drained and my interest and eagerness to serve Her are unaffected. It's true that I am a little more docile for a day or so after the milking, but I no longer have the post-orgasm blues.
On a non-emotional level I completely agree. I would prefer not to have a standard full orgasm ever again. My Mistress has noticed a pronounced change in my attitude and behavior after a full orgasm and she agrees also on a non-emotional level. We find that it is far better to limit me to ruined orgasms and milkings. The problem is that we are not completely non-emotional beings. Sitting here right now, I want to cum so bad it makes me crazy. When we are together and playing there comes a time where she decides she wants to be nice to me or take pity on me and I'm allowed to cum. Then crash and reboot time. Currently we've been going since late July and this has been the longest for us to date. Who know's, maybe this is the beginning of forever..... Best attempt at a confused emoji.
I can totally relate to this. There are two sides to this. My perspective was: You're a wonderful woman and I love it that you're a pleaser, but taking that to the bedroom means that you think you know better than me what my wishes are and how to fulfil them. Instant turn off. Her perspective is broader and possibly influenced by theories that regular orgasms prevent prostate problems. My jailbird had the medium spike installed. She wanted to have options but I failed to make clear that every option as the short blunt pin would be a disappointment. I was hoping that she would stop pleasing and start listening to my wishes, but that's hard. Harder than we realised.
Hello @Dr MBogo I can relate to this and would say a lot of others locked for any length of time may experience this at some point , personally I find being kept locked and on the edge to be in some ways better than being let out , the constant wanting and feeling of almost but not getting an orgasm can go on for as long as your K.H wants and brings with it a strange sort of satisfaction in its self , release and full on orgasms are over all too quickly and usually leave me feeling not only down but less submissive for a day or so ,
After 2 years of being locked with the occasional and very brief unlocking for a ruined orgasm or non orgasmic sex, i prefer to be locked. I don't trust myself and would be right back to masturbating daily and being cranky to my wife. She says I am a much better person when I am in penis prison in solitary confinement. I believe she has somehow brainwashed me into craving the desire to be locked up and orgasm free as this is her #1 requirement of me. Her orgasm is now my only orgasm. Its as if I am inside her and can feel her orgasm when she cums. We share her orgasms every few days and i thank her for this.