hi i'm new here

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by jennyfer-1, Jun 24, 2017.

  1. jennyfer-1
    Offline

    jennyfer-1 New member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    construction/ welding
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    belgium, antwerp
    Local Time:
    9:56 AM
    i'm jennyfer and i'm not quite shore how to to describe myself, i am person who goes by in life as a man who's happily married with two kids, but a the same time i love going out and dressing as a woman and i then also feel like a woman and wont's to be treated as one to, not shore if i'm trans because i don not hate my body the way it is but on the other hand a pais of breast and a vagina appeal to me.
    my wife know all about my female counterpart and lets me go out but doesn't wish to share it with me nor does she have an affinity with bdsm and chastity.
    that's me in a nutshell.

    not shore what i'm looking for butt i geus i'll know when i see it
     
    Sub Dave and Switch Alpha like this.
  2. Mistress Jules
    Offline

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Administrator Verified Female

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    1,372
    Likes Received:
    4,526
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Company Director and Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    8:56 AM
    Welcome to the Mansion, I hope you enjoy your time here and that you can converse with others. I am sure you are not the only one in that position.
     
    jennyfer-1 likes this.
  3. PouchPantyLover
    Offline

    PouchPantyLover Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2017
    Messages:
    1,203
    Likes Received:
    2,258
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Hawaii
    Local Time:
    10:56 PM
    Hi @jennyfer-1 you sound similar to myself. Man, happily married with two kids. I have thought of myself as a cross dresser though. I never identified as a woman or felt like I had a female alter ego. I love to dress up and have gone out dressed up although in very limited locations. Only at night and usually in dimly lit areas such as a walk in a park. One time I went for a drive and stopped for gas, that was probably the most exposed I've been publicly.

    My wife is also aware of it and not enthusiastic about it. She would indulge me sometimes with doing strap on play while I was dressed up, but it was clearly a favor to me, not something she was into. I think she's still not enthusiastic about me going in to full blown dress up, but since starting chastity she has embraced feminizing me at times as part of her dominance. She will tell me to wear panties on some days or tell me to dress in my maid costume and do all the laundry.

    I assume if you found your way to the mansion you are interested in chastity at some level. I've only been in the lifestyle for about half a year now and I can tell you I have found the Mansion to be a great source of information and support. You will find a lot of good advice and conversations based on reality more than fantasy. Best of luck on your journey and nice picture. ;)
     
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  4. Vinny
    Offline

    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,879
    Likes Received:
    1,668
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    4:56 AM
    Weclome. I had a biker friend who loved to wear female clothing. When out in public he just wore panties but at home he were full female attire when those in his inner circle visited. He was not a good looking female since he has a scruffy beard and a lot of tattoos with hairy arms and legs. Yet, he enjoyed the feeling of dressing as a woman and how it brought out his feminine and submissive side. His wife supported him but did not dominate him. He was like me, way too alpha to do more than assume the role of a submissive during sex only. He looked forward to halloween and any other costume parties like a kid waiting for xmas. It was then that he could wear what he wanted in public. It was weird that I never gave it a second thought but then again, most of our friends were kinky and into all different kinds of sex and relationships. We were in a poly triad with my wife's girlfriend being the sadist to my masochist. Yet when with others, I was the man of the house.

    My wife and girlfriends have always supported anything I wanted to do sexually and I do mean anything, even the yucky stuff. That was because I only entered into relationships with girls that were sexually adventuresome and not judgemental. I had to go through a lot of sexual partners to find just four girls into kinky stuff. All four were bisexual but I did not know that until after we were in a relationship. I do not know why bi girls were attracted to me. My wife was a virgin at 20 years old and in a few years came out as bi. If I wanted to I could dress in female clothes at home. She has no problem with that. I just do not feel like it except on very special occasions.

    I feel for you and all the millions of guys who post online that their wives are not into the type of sex life they want. I always tell young men that what you see is what you get so do not think you will change her after you are married. Also make sure she is into what you are into before committing to a lifelong contract of marriage that is very expensive to break. That is what I always did and have had a great sexlife doing everything I wanted to and things that the girls taught me. I wish you luck and who knows, maybe your wife will come around. I found that the best way is to get them used to something a little at a time. I first wore panties under my clothes because "they supported my locked penis the best". Then when my wife got used to that I started with a bra to provide humiliation when I went out. Sometime the bra strap would show and most times I was adjusting it on the sly when among people. My wife liked that, not the bra but that I had to deal with it in public. Even with chastity, BDSM, etc.. I got women into things by taking baby steps. I did not show up with whips and chains asking to be whipped hard. I started with a blindfold, the kind people wear to sleep. That lead to tying me up to sexually tease me which led to light spanking and then hard spanking so that their hands hurt which turned into them using paddles and canes. So on and so forth letting them get used to one small change each time before presenting something else.
     
    Halloedri likes this.
  5. jemima
    Offline

    jemima maid for my Mistress

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    12,158
    Likes Received:
    12,999
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Occupation:
    Maid
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Birmingham
    Local Time:
    8:56 AM
    hello @jennyfer-1 and welcome to here and i hope you like it as well.
     
  6. Halloedri
    Offline

    Halloedri Active member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2017
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Private
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Germany, Rhine-Maine
    Local Time:
    9:56 AM
    Vinny, absolutely, that's the way to go.
    Small steps, not rushing it.
    Very good advise & I think that can help a lot of people who have a loved one who is more vanilla than "wanted".
    Thumbs Up.
     
  7. DonnaSue
    Offline

    DonnaSue Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2,940
    Likes Received:
    4,673
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southeast US
    Local Time:
    3:56 AM
    HI @Jennifer-1 and welcome to CM. There are quite a few gurls like us here on CM and many share the same feelings and urges - as well as the same treatment by our wives. Have faith that, at least in some cases, the wives come around and get with the program, so to speak.
     
  8. PouchPantyLover
    Offline

    PouchPantyLover Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2017
    Messages:
    1,203
    Likes Received:
    2,258
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Hawaii
    Local Time:
    10:56 PM
    I have to respectfully disagree with this portion of your advice @Vinny as it oversimplifies a complex issue. First off what I was into when my wife and I first met roughly 20 years ago and what I'm into now have changed. Also I didn't marry purely for sex. There is a lot more to compatibility then just sex. I've had relationships where the sex was great, but the other person annoyed the crap out of me. Finally there are children which upend a fair bit of any preconceived notions you might have.

    Besides disagreeing with the specific advice above I also in my case did make it clear what I was into. My wife (girlfriend at the time) did not freak out or say "oh that's gross, I'm not doing that". She actually was good about embracing parts of it, but she did it out of love for me rather than something that gets her off. She also had hard limits. For example make-up freaks her out. I can be in women's clothing with breast forms and a wig and she's good to go, but throw in the make up and it's too much. This kind of process is part of the give and take and negotiation that go on in a healthy relationship.

    I do agree with everything else you had to say and I hope you know I respect you and look forward to reading your posts. Just had to speak out on this issue.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice