Something really strange has happened. A few months ago my key holder started leaving my keys around the house (I thought it was a test, which I would have passed as I just ignored them) but then a couple of months ago she unlocked me, nothing was said or done so I assumed she just lost interest in keeping me locked. Please bare in mind that I'm locked 24/7/365 and I mean 365 days and more than once it was nearly 2 full years. So I thought I'd test the water for sex on my birthday and I was bluntly refused. I then tried again for Father's Day and was bluntly rejected again. I tried again on her birthday and was rudely told what to do with it (which made me laugh). But I tried again yesterday and was told she would only allow fun times if I was locked up. This is the only way she likes me. But it's generally a trick to lock me back up, and is followed by weeks or months of minimal fun and contact after the first night of fun and can be ages before she will allow another night of fun (locked obviously). The reason for the post is the question "why the long break? And is this a normal action all key holders go through at some point?" I don't know if she got fed up with me locked but has realised she likes it really after the break. And I wonder what lays ahead on the path of this lock up period.
Women are an enigma and I don't think they even know what they want. Case in point; my wife, who hates anything penetrative, told me a couple of weeks ago that she was thinking it would be nice to feel me inside her again. This sounded very strange coming from her. In almost 9 years of marriage she has never once WANTED to be penetrated. Then after a couple of weeks of wondering if I was going to be allowed to use my penis, I brought it up last night and she acted like I had lost my mind. She said she never said that. She prefers me locked, why on earth would she want my penis erect and inside her? I don't think you'll ever know what was going on with your wife. Heck, she probably doesn't even know.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets misleading behaviour. Maybe it's something in the air at the moment? Lol
A fellow found an old bottle on a beach. He picked it up, opened it, and out popped a genie. The genie granted the man a wish. The man thought for a while and said that he wanted to travel to Tahiti. But, he was afraid to fly. So he needed a bridge to be built so that he could drive there. The genie said that this was a truly great task. Not only would there be massive materials needed. The labor would be intense. Just filling out all the government forms and getting the permits would be enormous. So, the genie asked if he could grant a different wish instead. The man again thought for a while and answered "You know, I have always wanted to understand women." Very quickly the genie replied "Would you want that to be 2 lanes or 4?" __________________
So true ,So true. We can't understand women because we're not women. Our minds think different and we're trying to understand them with a mans brain. Men are more logical while women are more emotional for example. Good Luck trying to totally understand them. I just went and started doing anything and everything for her her outlook on what I wanted also changed. Their is no magic Wand. We're different that's the way it is.
You are 100% correct. But what does the man do when he asks over and over again "What do you want me to do for you" and the answer he gets is " I don't know what I want". This is the way it was in my life for many years. It was very frustrating trying to find out what she wanted so I just totally committed myself to doing anything and everything I could think of to please her., very litte of it was sexual, Asking is great but people need to communicate what they want. My wife had a stigma about asking me to go down on her. In her words "I should just know" Men don't pick up on the woman's so called hints nearly as easy as women would like. So yes Ask and Communicate.
Yes if your kh tells you that her thoughts are not settled, don't push it. Let us come to our own conclusion in time. Focus indeed, as you suggest Mash, on serving and adoring in other, vanilla ways. Chastity is just one part of an FLR.
well i can tell a lot just by looking at Mistress face i can. When She come home i know if She had a nice day or not a nice day.
look guy - women don't like to hear this, much less admit it, that hormones effect our lives. it's not PC. truth be told, would you want someone saying "it's not you it's the hormones" - like your a slave to them? the problem is (more for some than others) that when the body calls for more or less estrogen - it's not an order, but merely a suggestion, and the body can give us double, half or anywhere in between. if it were only estrogen then maybe it would be different but there are 5 major hormones at play going up and down at different levels each month. this means we see things differently from moment to moment. each one of us deal with it on our own terms (some better than others). so sometimes when we see things differently we might say something that we would like to take back when our hormone induced view changes. this fact has been used against women for thousands of years in one way or another. the fact that the hormones are present, it is seen as a weakness not a strength and admitting it would be counter productive. for ma'ats, we see it as a reason to be in control -- absolute control. guys don't have a chance of keeping up. by the way this constant change is seen by ma'ats as an advantage not a handicap. we can look at a problem ten different ways without any effort and come up with comprehensive solutions where guys are stuck with the same perception they started with. let's talk sex: a women was expected to lay there and let the man do his best and HOPE he gets it right this time. whether we get it or not, he would! AND then start the process over again while women are waiting for the HOPE the next time. when the guy really rings her bell, he thinks this is the key and he keeps doing the same thing time after time. but he keeps failing us time after time. it's not his fault that he can't keep up with her hormones. most women get a little tired of men being able to get it every try and her a hit-or-miss option. as a ma'at, we are taught "our orgasms are our responsibility". the puck must be trained to follow instructions completely and without question. only then can i direct him to do what feels good at that moment; because the next time, i may need him to do something entirely different. then you have those who just don't believe it is worth the effort so they keep you locked up and never use it.... that was your choice as well. now there is another side to this which alters the picture completely. sperm is a hormonal/chemical cocktail that has a direct effect on woman, especially if 6 months have past since their last injection. most of the time, men have more estrogen in their semen than I have in my blood. it is absorbed and it can bring on ovulation a week early. sperm has two anti-depressants in it as well as many anti-microbial. so having sex with you could send her on a roller coaster ride she has no desire to be on. then there are the effects of sex on men. your behavior afterwards is largely effected by two things. studies show that men's orgasms release prolactin in there blood causing them to lose sexual energy and have no interest in their spouse - the classic rollover and crash. the type of orgasm affects the amount of prolactin that is released. masturbation yields very little prolactin where intercourse floods the body. two weeks of no sex gives the same amount of prolactin in the blood as having sex and remains until you do have relief. the second thing is when the sperm is being replaced in your body the testosterone goes up making you less cooperative. a ma'at's solution is to have lots of sex where he does exactly as he is told yet his orgasm is almost always ruined to keep the prolactin down. he is locked up immediately to demonstrate his place and my control, as well as preventing any solo activity. if he has sexual energy - it belongs to me!! bottom line here is - it is not your place to understand but to serve. the key holder decides how you can best do that and in your case you asked for this. sounds like you got what you asked for! so the next time, smile and say thank you ma'am.
This is not intended to be either condescending or disparaging in any way towards anyone regardless of gender. I like many other men have spent years armed with the knowledge that something the women in your life especially partners said a week a month even laas year or maybe an hour ago do not necessarily lose any relevence through time. Things can become difficult if you do not recall them verbatim. It really pays to pay attention. It makes gift buying easier too sometimes. The wise amongst us have through experience learned to try to listen to what she means rather than what she says. The very wise of long experience have discerned that minds and opinions can change and be reveresed with absolutely no acknowledgement of the change having happened or the previous stance choice opinion having ever existed. Just remember them all and try to figure out through gentle comments and/or questions which plan is in place today A..B..C etc Th enliightened amongst us those happy few that through years of experience, trial and error, familiarity and intense effort have become at one with a fundemental truth that no man will never completely understand any woman. That is all there is to it. But woe betide you if you don't try even in the knowledge you will ultimately fail keep trying the trick is to just do not ever fret about failing. Reading men are from mars and women are from venus helped .. it put ME on the road to enlightenment ...but you need to find your own path as there is no universal route. People are different. Men and women are ALL different, no denying that, so thats two sources of variables already.. multiply all those out and you start to gain some insight as to the size of the challenge.
Pretty common. We only had one rule; my wife makes all the rules, does not have to tell me and can change them without prior notice. I went through being on the honor system and then locked up except when we had sex. Then after I had a full orgams she did not want me locked up for two weeks. She used to call sex without my orgasm, fake sex. She was never into be being locked up. Always felt I should just not masturbate no longer how long I was denied orgasms. 4 years later I have to be locked up 24/7365, am denied orgasm until my wife feels I am in mental distress, hates to let me have even a ruined orgasm now and no more unlocking for sex, if we even when we have sex. We do not have intercourse, I get nor oral sex and rarely am allowed to perform it on her. She has a few orgasm on our sex night once a week or two and only with her vibrator. She also masturbates during the week without me with her. My wife has every reason to not want anything to do with my penis but wanted to spare my feelings for a lot of years. Now she constantly reminds me that my penis is too small to even reach her entrances and rarely gets erect and even when it does, does not stay erect for long. We have not had intercourse for the last 20 years or slept together for 37 years of our 44 marriage. Even more reason is that she had a girlfriend for 30 years who she preferred sexually to me any any male for that matter. Does not like semen or the whole ejaculation process. Does not find penises attractive and I am sterile due to low sperm count and the ones I have are all malformed. Says she cannot get that image out of her head of defective sperm when even good sperm were not appealing to her. Our chastity play used to change weekly at times. First I was not going to orgasm only but got an orgasm the next week when she got carried away. Gave them to me when she saw me sexually frustrated or on special occasions. Now after 4 years of unpredictable behavior as a key holder, she is strict and will try to make me go for years without an orgasm because, as she says, she has absolutely no use for my penis and no longer feels it is her wifely duty to give me orgasms. Luckily she knows that with no hope for an orgasm, she loses all control over me as I simply have no incentive to stay in chastity with no hope in sight. So I will get an orgams sometime but my wife is still learning how long I can go without one. She is shooting for no more this year and perhaps on New Year's Eve but she keep giving me hope and then when she sees I can handle being orgasm free, she moves the date further away. When we started chastity she told me upfront that I did not want to let her decide how many orgasms I should have since she felt it should be zero. So we are exploring new territory and she can get caught up in the moment when she is having 3 orgasm and loses focus on what she is doing to me and lets me orgasm. No more ruined orgasms either and no once a week sex either. She just does what she wants and does not want me to know or ask her. I have adjusted to that by just never assuming I will have an orgasm when we have sex. It is better to expect the worst than to think she could go soft on me. Women, you can't kill them or live without them. Or can you when the orgasms stop.
Exactly the same for me (my thread "Change of Mind" in the Vault). A few weeks ago this seemed a matter of urgency for her, but now it seems like a dream. On the wider question, there are some great points above, but I'll add another one that I've noticed is important in influencing my wife. At one point she was working with a number of younger men who liked to flirt with her, including notes expressing their "appreciation". Not surprisingly she enjoyed the attention enormously and this transferred to our bedroom where, for those couple of years, she was insatiable. I even got regular fellatio. When she moved on workwise, this had a major impact on our sex life! Last week we went to a party and with the weather being very hot I wore shorts. Two women came up to my wife and said that I looked "yummy" in shorts. [Running has toned my legs nicely.] Again this had a big impact on her and we've ended up having "chastity sex" three times in four days. Unheard of. So we shouldn't underestimate the psychological effects of exterior stimuli .....
"Spooky" by the classic IV : 2nd verse You always keep me guessin', I never seem to know what you are thinkin'. And if a fella looks at you, it's for sure your little eye will be a-winkin'. I get confused, 'cause I don't know where I stand, And then you smile, and hold my hand. Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you. Spooky!
Lots of possibilities! For a start, you have to remember that keeping your man locked in chastity isn't normal. She may have had an attack of guilt or qualms, wanted you to rescue her from the situation by taking matters into your own hands. When you didn't, she reached a peak of discomfort and unlocked you anyway. The reasons for keeping you locked, however, remain. In your situation, I might consider suggesting a new rule: sexy times initiate a month's lockup. There's no point in doing D/s if there's nothing in it for you...
Wow. This is amazing, incredibly open discussion about what is is like to me locked up to REAL women, not sex fantasy women. Keep it up guys, this the real stuff.
I'll add another chapter in the story of my wife's unpredictability. The last week has been very hard on me sexually. Our state just legalized fireworks and our neighborhood has been like a fucking battle zone every night. People are going absolutely batshit every night shooting off anything explosive. And they magically know when we are putting our kids to bed before the shelling starts. This has meant the baby and toddler are up every night scared out of their minds until the explosions stop. And that means that my wife and I have had no time for intimacy. My wife could notice I was getting very agitated and just generally grouchy and pissed off most of the time and decided to wake me up at 5:30 this morning for some play time. I was happy with her decision to take some action on my behalf and we started playing. After about half an hour she started grinding her pussy against my cage and asking if it felt good. Of course. She really started getting aggressive with it and it was clear she was trying to get me really aroused. After about 5 minutes of this, she produced the key and said she thought it was time for me have some fun. She unlocked me and straddled me. She was rubbing me against her vagina lips, getting ready to let me in when the baby woke up. I was literally almost in and he had to wake up. She leaned over to the side of the bed, picked up my cage, and said "I guess the birth control says no" and handed me my cage and said to lock back up.