I introduced my gf to teasing and denial, chastity and such about 1,5 years ago. It's been on and off and I have always initiated those periods of abstinence, as we like to call it. Longest was about 6,5 weeks without a full orgasm. Anyways, those periods were a good thing to experiment and try out the (mostly hardcore) chastity fantasies you find online. They usually ended when I wasn't feeling like it any more and it also got on her nerves a bit to play this game 24/7 for weeks, without really benefiting from it. Sex was not really an option as I wanted to stay away from full orgasms. Also, for this kind of dominance you need experience which we were obviously lacking. This resulted in a lot of topping from the bottom. We tried a few cages but none worked for me, so a chastity device will have to be made by measure - which exceeds the budget atm. Anyway, since January we kinda got back into it together. My personal problem is: I like masturbating a lot and lack self control in this regard, so we decided we had to do something to polish our sexlife a bit. I love being crazy for her now and that's just not possible when you masturbate 3 times a day. Having lived both extremes before (masturbating whenever I felt like it and strict denial) we seem to have found a middle way. We don't want to abolish sex, we want the opposite: build a happy sex life. Also, you don't have to be chaste for 3 weeks upwards to enjoy tease and denial. So, what we've come up with is this: I don't know when my next orgasm will be and I'm not allowed to have one without her permission. Also, generally, I'm only allowed to climax during sex and not on my own, which keeps me focused on what really matters If she finishes first, it's sexytime over, maybe she will have mercy and allow me a ruined one or something. I'm very grateful for every little release she allows me but she doesn't owe me anything. She makes the calls from now on and started this whole thing on her own which is amazing. Before, it was always me which just doesn't work. If you tell someone to dominate you, well, it was still your own choice, wasn't it? I think it also suggests a false level of control (I started this, I can end this). We knew we had to do something to spice up the sex but the design and methods - her choices. Dunno, this feels important to me. And by now, she's enjoying it aswell and it also did its magic on our relationship in general. She does a great job on teasing me, too (words, sexy outfits, the lot). I still get to cum once or twice a week which seems plenty for some of you reading, I'm sure. Then again, we're only in our twenties and have just started the whole thing 4 months ago. Who knows where the road will take us. So, all in all, she's still my gf and we're equal partners. Just sexually, she's my mistress aswell, and I'm at her mercy. We both like it so far, it has improved our sex life and relationship. We no longer ignore our sexual needs or fulfill them ourselves but try to do so with each other - that's probably the most important thing here. Our lives don't revolve around chastity or t&d, but they are very welcome tools to make the relationship work even better, cause that's what's really important. Questions, suggestions welcome
Hi and welcome to the mansion there is a hypnosis video on you utube that I used, before I wanted to masturbate every two to three days now it is been over fourteen days since I come and it has been three weeks since I masturbated. if you are going to try it can you let us know how you get on with it.
Hi spider203, which video have you been using ? I have been using this file from Master Josh : It's hard to tell if it works, but I am clearly calmer at the idea to wear my device all day, as it reinforced the fact that I have this as a goal in my life !
I think your approach sounds great. The fact she was getting fed up shows that something had to be done to sort that out. The fact that you found a way to make you both happy is very positive. Just because some people go months on end between orgasms doesn't mean you have to. This isn't a competition. For those of us lucky enough to do this as part of a relationship both of you need to be happy for it to work.
I agree with what others have said here, do what works and makes you happy. For me the element of being locked up and for her actually holding the key are constant reminders to both of us of this renewed commitment. I don't think I could do it without those elements, but more power to you if you can.
Well we're together for 4.5 years and I first discovered chastity, t&d etc. 1.5 years ago. I introduced her to it , we did a bit of playing but as a lifestyle, it didn't yet work for us. We're not even in our mid-twenties and she didn't have any sexual experiences at all, not even with herself, when I first met her. Me of course having masturbated for years and years knew my sexual orientations, desires and fetishes very well, when she couldn't even masturbate at all - the female body can be tricky to handle for some. So, while she accepted my desires from the start, she loved me despite them, not because of them. We started a more serious kind of play (no more masturbating for me at all) at the beginning of this year and have now just enforced it a lot by doing proper chastity training since I posted this thread. In 3 weeks now I had one ruined orgasm now and that was it. I'm not locked as my anatomy doesn't really allow cages but apart from that it's pretty real. We're trying to get me off orgasms completely and are also committing in that direction. We discussed getting her off birth control as it does mess with hormones a lot, and my gf hopes to develop a stronger sex drive that way - she is still a bit underwhelmed by it, can't get wet properly and so on. This would mean wearing condoms every time for me (which usually also means I don't cum, I don't feel a lot with those on and even without I had my troubles climaxing at all in the past). For me, it would mean a strong commitment in the direction of middle- to long-term orgasm denial which is very exciting. It's advised you stay of the pill for at least 3 months before taking it again so that's kind of the minimum time frame. Also, with strict limits on how much I'm allowed to edge each day, my behavior finally started to change. We just had a fantastic weekend and I feel great. The constant horniness isn't even an issue so far, I do feel strong waves of lust occasionally when there's a according stimulus but in everyday life I'm completely fine. Before, I couldn't concentrate on anything properly. Let's see how it pans out
Thank you for your reply "We just had a fantastic weekend and I feel great." why you don't describe us your week end?
^^ Sorry to disappoint you but it wasn't anything particularly sexual. We just had a few fun days, felt very close to each other, cuddled, watched movies, gamed on the PC A LOT and went to a handball game. My orgasm denial is always in the background there, we do talk about it nearly every day and I get a few innuendos about it but for the most part I just enjoyed the fact that I was able to enjoy all of the things above. I was always quick to be grumpy, arrogant, have very high expectations of others and could be a bit of an ass sometimes. Denial seems to have fixed that. I'm crazy about her and thankful for the small things (she wearing her skin-tight wetlook leggings which I'm so obsessed about to the game) and the big picture (her denying me although I know sometimes she would prefer a vanilla sex life). That being said, our relationship is special and she puts up with my weird fetishes and desires because she loves me - and because it seems to have improved my behavior. Next step is to show her how she can enjoy my abstinence from orgasms. Trying penis sleeves now and I have researched a few new fingering techniques I want to try. Unfortunately cunnilingus doesn't seem to do the trick for now. For now it all works for us because I'm happy this way and she's happy because I'm happy. And sorry for always writing these novels about my relationship but I want to give a complete picture and not just live out a wild fantasy for a few weeks and then go back to normal. This is also helping me to process all of this and put it into order.
To give you guys reading a little insight which has more to do with denial, we talked a little on how my releases in the future will work. So, we both like myself the way I am now, I love what denial does to me and I don't want this streak to stop. However, for medical reasons alone, there is the need to exchange fluids some time. My original idea was to get me off penile stimulation and not (or rarely) allow me a ruined orgasm. I would rather cum by prostate milking with stimulation in the front - like eding yourself regularly and pushing yourself over the edge by prostate massage. Works quite well for me So after having sent her an explanation on how those different things work, she set the rules for the future (this kind of self-confidence is also new on her): I'm allowed to milk myself anytime which means just using a massager or dildo to get to my prostate - no penile stimulation allowed. When I was being denied long enough, this releases a few drops but isn't in any way an orgasmic feeling. It's a reflex. When I've behaved well or if our selfmade orgasm-denial wheel of fortune lands on it, I'm allowed a ruined orgasm with prostate milking but without penile contact when I push myself over the edge by prostate massaging. Pretty excited she made the rules so strict I don't even get to have "proper" ruined orgasms any more. Let's see where this takes us.
Showing her how Chastity and orgasm denial for you can be pleasurable and enjoying for her is the only sa to go. For example I give my Mistress foot rubs, massages and I do all the house work. If you can serve her unconditionally it will come around that she will do things to give you pleasure. It takes time sometimes a lot of time. It took my Mistress/Wife over 5 years to get to where she is today and I'm Loving the Exciting Journey I'm On. Some of the details or on my Blog (On Display). Treat her like the Queen she is and you will be come her Prince. Good Luck