About a week ago my wife finally agreed to let me buy a chastity device, CB The Curve. I've been wearing it for 4 days now. She said she would ease into all my fantasies with me but she is unsure how to start. She can be very dominant when she chooses to be. We are looking for ways to help spike her interest (she sent me here to ask). We starred an account on locks.club and it has helped a bit. Anyone have any suggestions on how having me locked will be nothing but beneficial to her? Games, charts, calenders, ect?
Games, charts, calendars are all work and both of you, especially her, will get tired of maintaining all of that. The best advice I can give is to keep it as simple as possible. Many on here find that one simple rule works best, the man remains locked unless the woman decides otherwise. That keeps things very simple. To answer about helping her realize the benefits for her, you both need to spend time together with you locked. The more time doing sexy things and unsexy things with you locked, the easier it will be for her to find parts of it she likes.
Wang, get accustomed to the idea of satisfying her in every way, sexually, domestically, the way you speak to her, assist her, etc. Make her life as wonderful as it can be. Happy wife, Happy life! Your Chastity only heightens her happiness!
I know one thing that really got my kh on board, making this not a chore and more about her. It wasn't achieved overnight but a gradual realization....we can snuggle, touch, fondle, kiss, grope, and she can even orgasm, and it doesn't need to end with her getting you off. I know it sounds silly and redundant, but it really is imbedded in there that X leads to X. We think of course we can make out without it leading to sex, sometimes women avoid that kind of contact for the basic reason that she really has no interest in going further. Easier to avoid all stimulation. So, what we have adopted since almost day one is this. One of our "commandments is "every night or the next morning I will orally worship her pussy and ass with enthusiasm". Sometimes time is a factor and I hand her the wand and hold her while she pleasures herself. I am not unlocked, I am not touched, it is a daily ritual that has given her confidence that not only can I give without receiving, but that she can receive without giving. That is about the only schedule we have. We tinkered with the idea of an app that had a spinning wheel that had lock up times and whether or not I would cum or have ruined orgasm...it was too much like something she had to comply with so let that idea go. Good luck.
I know it's all exciting and new at the moment but please try and take things slowly . Don't try and do everything at once . It will take you time to get used to wearing a device ,for a start, and the device may not be the right one for you . Try and ease into this gradually by doing small things for her at first then over time doing more for her ,if she likes it. Keep communicating with each other and above all don't "bug her" all the time about play or orgasms etc . Try and let her know that you are doing these things for her and not Cos you wanting a orgasm ,if that makes sense, because you want to make her happy . It's a new journey and there no "one size fits all" way to do things in this lifestyle and you and your wife will find what makes you both happy and fulfilled over time but you both need to be patient and be realistic too ,yes offer to help around the house etc if that's something you want to do but don't try and do too much that you end up shattered yourself . Try and take hints from her , she may not want oral every night/day etc or constant "worshipping" . Have fun experimenting and finding out what she loves and hates and hopefully she will run with it and take proper control . I wish you both a long and happy journey .
Welcome to Chastity Mansion , Wang, your getting great advice already it doesn't take very long in a mansion that has many different rooms. Ask your self this question. " Why would my wife want my cock locked up " if you make your chastity all about pleasing her and not about your wishes and kinks you'll be in for an exciting journey. Spend some time touring the Mansion
Thank you everyone for the advice. I've realized this won't happened overnight but now I have a better idea where to start. I know she has already enjoyed getting all the attention at night and it ending when she is finished not me. I'm looking forward to exploring the mansion.
First off I want to say welcome. All that stuff you mentioned is OK at the beginning, but they take control away from your wife. She does not get to decide when to allow you to orgasm, the roll of the dice or some other way does that. For chastity to last it has to be fun for both of you, not just her. Once the initial excitement wears off you will not be so eager to let her deny you orgasms anymore unless it is fun for you too. We all asked for chastity so it works best in the long term when we both work together to deny us orgasms. Games and such are good at the beginning to remove the guilt feelings that a wife will have by denying you. Girls get validation of their sexual skills, desirability and attractiveness from the guy's orgasm. It takes time to get them to feel that denying you an orgasm gives you more pleasure than giving you one. My wife did not lose the last vestige of guilt until year 3. It takes time and once your initial excitement wears off, you will know if you want to stay in chastity or not. Most do not, which is why there are only a couple of chastity forums. The curve is for large penises as it is longer than CBx's other products. The cage should prevent you from getting erect so I assume that you are well endowed. Most of us are not and I know that I could not even fill up the CB6000s. I had to get a custom made cage to prevent me from getting erect. Yet they sell enough Curves to well endowed males, to keep it in their product line. If I was large enough to fill up the Curve I would not be in chastity.
You need to start a "trial" period. Say just 7 days. Begin to pamper and serve her in EVERY way you can. Chores, obedience, nightly foot rubs. The best idea i heard was to start a personal blog. Where only she and you have access. Begin to write your personal feelings there so she can read it. DO NOT GO ALL FEMFOM on her! Your porn expectations are not a true reality for a reserved woman. A true sub will do what they are TOLD to do. My wife is dominate by nature. I found the blog idea really helped in her understanding my position. HELL, I offered chastity to her at day 3 and from there forward with me serving her she LOVED it. She even came to me and said she wanted to extend the trial period ton14 days. Its been a month. She diciplines me on a weekly basis, makes me service her orally regularly and lets me cum about every 2 weeks. She really is enjoying and finding her own persona as a domme. YOU have to allow her to be the Domme she wants to be....not the expectation in your mind. If you want an idea abot the blog approach i can let you read mine. Just message me. Good luck
Figure out some things that She would really want and do them / get them / stop doing them (if you have a bad habit She doesn't like) without asking. Let Her see the benefit. Or more to the point, ask Her what She wants and follow through. Either way, in the end, communication is what will see it through to the end.
I have to say I was pretty lucky(unlucky lol) in that it took her about 2 weeks to go from -this is weird but ok I will hold the key to your cock- to - I love having you locked up and so attentive to me and we are going to be changing some things. I wouldn't say she she was inexperienced in sex, or even unwilling to try things, but there are certain things she had never experienced or even felt comfortable enough to talk about. So our sex life has been the best she has known. I'm not saying I'm the best lay, but I am the most giving and attentive partner she has ever had. She's never had someone putting her as a priority. I'm not saying I can't be selfish...I could give a class on it, but when it comes to doing things that will make her happy without being told, I have gotten so much better. She matters, and keeping that in perspective has kept not only me in a good place, but has given her confidence to ask for and feel she deserves more. I don't have to crawl behind her licking her shoes, a simple "hey I got the dishes tonight, relax" or " yep I already started your car and made the coffee" can be just as much of a tool as any "game" or schedule. If you put in the effort that this works, I imagine not many wives would ever trade the new you for the old one. Your actions speak louder than any "game", schedule, or fun activities you could ever dream up. The best of luck to you
Nicoftime nailed it here, it's all the little things that add up and change the relationship for the better. My keyholder would never trade the old me for the new one. She wouldn't even consider stopping Chastity and I'm fine with that. Give it time, don't talk about it constantly and let her take the lead. Offering up suggestions from time to time when she brings it up is cool, just remember it's on your mind all the time, not hers. Make it about her and the fantasy's will take care of themselves. This can really be a game changer for a relationship, we've had a very active kinky lifestyle for over 10 years and it better now then ever since we got involved with Chastity. Enjoy!