@Thatgirl has toyed with the idea of bringing a friend into our bedroom once or twice. She's got a few of them who know what we do and how we are, and she herself has always had a touch of bi in her so the idea of bringing one of her cute friends into the game for a night to tease me and play with us has been talked about seriously a couple of times, though we've never taken that plunge. I've never had a huge issue with that. Me being in chastity is not how I visualize my ideal threesome, but with the right, playful tone set, id be willing. Plus I more or less was sure during those talks that I wouldn't be left in the cage the whole time! But recently a different development has come into play. @Thatgirl met another key holder locally. Now, we are aware (through CM and fetlife) of several practitioners of chastity in our area. It's a big city. But setting aside self-lockers, people twice our age, and people who seem WAY more intense in their kinkser and/or chastity lifestyle than we do has until recently left nobody nearby that we would have reached out to. But today Thatgirl had lunch with a fellow KH. Same (basically) age, same general lifestyle as us (vanilla with a chastity / femdom twist), and based on the photos I've seen of them, a similarly attractive, youngish couple. Apparently they are pretty new to chastity, and the girl had lots of questions for @Thatgirl. She mentioned to her that her man requested to be locked (I know it shouldn't matter but I was REALLY hoping she would have been the initiator the way Thatgirl was - unrealistic as that was to expect) When they were making their plans the other girl asked if Thatgirl wanted to bring me and she'd bring her man. Thatgirl asked but I said no. I wanted her to meet the girl for lunch, just the two of them, so she could get a feel for her and see if she could see herself being friends with her in general. Later they can bring us guys in. I did that for a couple reasons. For one, as a universal rule I prefer to let the lady's meet. There's no sense in me meeting a new friend that I may happen to like only to have our respective women hate each other. But beyond that general rule, I think a part of me is apprehensive. How many couples here are fairly close friends with another couple who also practice chastity? How does it work? Is it just a shared interest, or do the games end up intertwining? I'm not against that - in fact it could be a blast. Just apprehensive. Plus I'm a little concerned that my outlook on chastity will not well received by the other guy since he has been the initiator of their play. Btw - @Thatgirl introduced her new friend to CM recently - and if you're reading this, feel free to chime in! It's all good! Im sure we'll meet before long, and either way I imagine you'll know more about me than I can imagine soon anyway (Excuse typos and grammar. Written on phone in grocery store parking lot. Don't worry @Thatgirl - I'll be back with the food soon!)
I have looked for others in our area, with no success. The new only responses I received were subs looking for a dom. And a few couples that were interested in swapping or 3 ways. I even put it fairly plainly that we were looking for like minded friends to share time with, with same room teasing or play the furthest we would be going that way. We just don't live in a very big community. I'm a little jealous, good luck and hope everything works out for the best!
Sounds like fun ! Mistress and I always wanted to meet young couples with the same interests in this lifestyle, turns out it's not that easy ^^
Other than being famous, the thing is, I never saw myself in this world. So yea, I do have lots of questions and am delighted to have found someone who is willing to let me pick her brain. And the fact that @Thatgirl is beautiful and in my age bracket is a bonus. (Ok, so technically @Thatgirl is a few years younger than me but throw an old Mistress a bone here and let me claim it.) The reality is that I often want to ask questions to people I feel are "in my category" when I get into something new. When I was looking at colleges, when I moved out on my own, when I bought my first car, when I moved overseas, and now when I've locked my hubby's cock up in a chastity device. Totes normal, no? Apologies if you're disappointed the FLR wasn't my idea. To be completely transparent I have always struggled with my natural dominance. It was in conflict with my natural need to be taken care of. And I didn't know how those two things worked together. I had it in my mind that if I was dominant it meant I had to be fully independant, i.e. alone. And if I was taken care of it meant I was weak and submissive. After reading just a few pages of the book Mr M gave me when he brought up the idea of male chastity, I jumped online. My eyes widened. This. Was. Me. It also was so clearly him. Since locking him up and (literally) taking the reigns we have been more connected on every level in our 10 years together. We are more sexually satisfied, more intimately attentive and communicating with more fluency. It's amazing. And I want to know more and do more! The deeper I plunge into this Kink world, the more I have realized that there are a lot of people that aren't "in my category" and I feel like I really struck gold with @Thatgirl. I have so many questions and while I can learn from everyone's answers, I don't *only* want answers from people twice my age or those who do this professionally or people with different fetishes... So this has really worked out to my benefit (and Mr M's). I hope you and @Thatgirl feel the same. And I'm glad you said no to the invitation to be included at today's lunch. It was better that the Mistresses meet first, let us suss out the possible friendship and gossip about our respective subs. I also understand the apprehension of having things intertwine. I mean, what if we handcuffed you two together and demanded you make us dinner? LOL Now, let's discuss this view on chastity that may not be well received? What could that possibly mean? You must be into it a little
@Nicoftime - your experience finding others is very similar to ours ('till now). Though we're in a major metro area, all that seemed to do was increase the number of incompatible people reaching out! I am not as socially active as Thatgirl online, especially when getting into new online spaces. She found and acquainted herself with CM, and later brought me in. So when we recently created FetLife accounts it was the same. She created them both but I more or less haven't used it. She's been learning the site and getting a feel for it, and then I get the Cliff's Notes. The vast majority of of folks we encountered were just as you describe. In fact, since @Thatgirl is the one with the account, you can imagine how bad it is... She's a cutie with a new account and BOY do they ever swarm. Just like you said - mostly dudes looking for a dom, asking for and offering totally inappropriate shit. Sprinkle in a few couples looking to swap, and a handful of nice but hardcore kinksters who we never would have gelled with and it wasn't looking good. Then Thatgirl spotted a post by @FEMabAC that she'd put up just hours earlier. It read virtually identical to something we would have written. So she reached out. And I'm glad she did! They seem to have enjoyed their lunch and chastity and Kink aside, I'm glad to have met some new people, since we're relatively new to the area and between @Thatgirl working from home and me working a ton of hours we don't get out too much. So all around good luck. And @FEMabAC - I'm SO glad you guys enjoyed yourselves! And believe me, I wasn't disappointed to hear that you didn't introduce FLR. Your path is by FAR the most common, and from the sounds of it you've taken to it like a fish to water which is really all that matters. @Thatgirl having initiated all of this for us just created a slightly different perspective for me is all, and I haven't really encountered anyone else for whom, like me, the cage itself is merely tolerated as a reasonable price to pay for all the awesomeness and fun in brings into our lives! The fact that you guys sound like you live it so similarly to us, "vanilla with a twist" we say, is what's great. Like @Nicoftime mentioned, it ain't easy to find like-minded, similarly oriented couples, let alone nearby enough to meet for lunch! I know @Thatgirl is happy to share whatever experience we've gained. And she mentioned your guy is having some troubles fitting his device well - and I'm more than happy to help advise on that. I have some quirks with my pipes that make me very sensitive to a proper fit, and as a result we have tried just about every device out there, including a handful of custom made ones as well. We've spent an absurd amount of money learning how to fit a device property and I'm more than happy to see if I can help you guys avoid spending a ton unnecessarily. I think it's really great too that you're a naturally dominant person! Your man is very lucky for that, especially if he's naturally more submissive (at least in the bedroom) by nature. Many many men here will attest to that! Thatgirl is always quick to admit she's not naturally dominant, and I'm not naturally submissive - so you too comparing notes should be a blast! Anyway, like I said I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourselves. I had @Thatgirl give you my number so your guy can shoot me a text message whenever if he wants to run something about devices by me, or whatever else. And maybe next time we can all meet for a vanilla lunch! Cheers! And welcome to Chastity Mansion (this place will BLOW YOUR MIND btw, but that's a discussion for another time, lol).
This is exciting stuff. I'm kinda jealous, you guys. I haven't even thought about checking if there's any local connections to be made. Too busy in our own lil world I guess. And welcome @FEMabAC! It's a crazy lil community we have here of very different people (and a Cat...and a Wolf). Lots to learn and horizons to explore
i think it's wonderful when people get together to share and enjoy any common interest! we need more of that!
I was pretty much floored when I signed up for Fetlife and saw @FEMabAC 's post! It was virtually identical to what I was looking for as well! We texted back and forth for a week or so to get to know each other better (you never know if someone really is who they say they are). I could tell that she was genuine and I was beyond thrilled that she lives only half an hour from me, on the other side of town. She was looking for a mentor to help her with her Dominance and I was looking for someone to help me be more verbal...it couldn't have been more perfect! Upon meeting @FEMabAC, I was so relieved to see that she was a normal woman like myself, who happens to keep her husband under lock and key. She was super sweet, very pretty with a great personality to boot! We hit it off with ease and I surprised even myself - usually I am VERY shy when it comes to meeting new people and it takes some alcohol to really get me out of my shell. Not with her! We talked about many things, chastity, femdom, the local BDSM establishments and family. I am really looking forward to our friendship developing further And so very grateful that we met first, without our men, because I only get along with a small percentage of women and it would have sucked should our guys have liked each other and we didn't.
Yes, I think many of us are green with envy, as it is not easy, if not impossible at times, to find another couple you are compatible with to enjoy and share some part of this experience and life with.
I'd love to mean another couple around my wife's and my age to have this in common with. It's nice to have that interpersonal connection with others especially with such a taboo topic. I'm sure my wife would enjoy discussing chastity and FLR with another woman in person versus just talking about it with me. She has no interest in chatting with anyone online as most end up being fake. So that's great for the two of you!
@Thatguyontheinternet I love it "Vanilla with a Twist" sounds like a drink I would absolutely order at a bar! I think making friends is hard in general the older you get. At the age of 2 its like "we're friends cause our moms are friends" and at age 5 its all "we both like oranges" but the older we get the more refined we are. I think the reality is that we have less time to spend with friends and so we get pickier. I'm thrilled that @Thatgirl is and I have connected! Maybe we'll create our own thread "Friends in Chastity" so people can keep up to date with us. LOL
M is not on here and I don't think will join, though I've not suggested. I would like her to connect with other key holders and share experiences and - maybe - ideas. One fantasy I have is that M does meet someone and one day brings her home to play with me. I'm tied up and blind folded and may or may not know someone is coming. I certainly don't know who it is or what they look like. I don't know who is doing things to me and I have no control. This would be hot and frustrating.