from a different perspective...

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by alter_ego, Jan 24, 2017.

  1. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    This post will probably yield more criticism than positive remarks or likes, but ..
    and I get the "different strokes for different folks" , but some of what I read on here has me shaking my head. I hope that people are just playing out a fantasy scene and putting it to "print", because some of posts (NOT ALL) and the disrespect and disregard described in them is saddening. I hope that the union of marriage and "love for each other" means more to some than they have posted.

    ...Perhaps, many of the posts I read are more fantasy or playing a part, rather than being 100% real or actual...
    but...

    I don't understand why anyone has to be "punished or denied to be nicer to the person they chose to be with "..till death do us part..".
    I don't personally understand why a wife would want to deny her husband an orgasm or vice versa.
    I don't buy into the "better mood" and the "more attentive" argument/reasoning... A spouse (male or female) that takes their partner for granted is, IMO, guaranteeing failure at some point. A husband should always be in "courting" mode(as should his wife), it shouldn't require him to be desperate to "get off" to be a nice guy and do things for her and around the house.
    I cook our meals, not because I have to, but because my schedule allows for it, I am a better cook, and she enjoys the product and appreciates my work.
    I rub her feet, shoulders, neck, back or whatever whenever we are in close enough proximity. I do so because I like touching her, and i can see that she likes it.
    I clean the house with her and do ALL of the yard work, because it is OUR home.
    I play with and deal with the kids, because that is going to make them strong productive members of society, and I want to. I'm the one they come to when hurt, scared, or call out for when they have a bad dream or are sick/needing help.

    I have a HTv.2 that is somewhere over the Atlantic in UPS's hands currently. I will be self locking under my business attire at work not as a way to deny myself of anything, but to actually draw attention to my sexuality.
    I get flirted with regularly by men and women( my wife thinks its hilarious, and is proud that others find her husband appealing as well)- the device is not to ensure that I do not do anything, but to build the tension and feel the pressure, so my release AND orgasm that night is even more explosive and harder to hold back from.
    I have sex with my wife, every other night, if not every night- barring sickness, injury or other. Sometimes it is more "down to it" other times it is more involved with time spent on massage, manual foreplay or oral etc.. she craves my cock inside her- she enjoys all the lead up, but THAT is what she wants. She normally reaches 2-3 "big" orgasms before I am done teasing/pleasing her and allow myself to reach my orgasm.
    My cock is hers, not because she says so... but because I say so.


    As the old saying goes- "...you get more flies with honey, than vinegar.."

    - Husbands, respect your wives- leave your dicks alone, pay attention to her, treat her like a magical priceless object, that will simply vanish(go elsewhere) if you do not show/verbalize it; like you are casting a spell or chanting a mantra.
    -Wives, locking his cock up, being mean and denying him will not make him faithful forever, it will not make him truly respect you. If you deny and disrespect him long enough the branch will break, and he'll find it elsewhere.

    If partners only remembered the golden rule, and treated their "chosen one" with the same respect, dignity and love that they wanted....
     
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  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I think most would agree that in a perfect world you shouldn't have to be denied sex to be a good mate. That being said there are some real chemical reactions post orgasms that make it easy to start thinking of yourself and your needs more. In fact there is a medical term for it. So it's not unheard of or even surprising that post O thoughts and activities are less than stellar.

    Example, man just had sex, man gets a call from a buddy to hang out at the pub, man sees no problem with this, man goes and has good time. Woman would rather he didn't, woman doesn't want to nag, woman stews on it all night and is upset. The next day man thinks everything is ok, woman is passive aggressive pissy and won't want to sleep with him for weeks. Man knows she's mad and won't be having sex so goes to pub a few more times cause why not she's mad anyway. Cycle continues.

    Or

    Man is denied but teased, gets a call from buddy to go to pub, decides he might get some action with woman so declines, woman is happy with man, gives him lots of sexual attention. Both are happy the next day.

    That is just an example, but you get the drift. Yes we should be more attentive and active in our relationships, and yes in a perfect world denying an orgasm should not be used as a tool to being better...but most men are different animals after an O. As far as the discipline... that is more of a kink in my opinion. There are easier ways to curb behavior than spankings or humiliation. But if one person kinda likes it, then most are willing to go along. I do all sorts of things because of how it effects my attitude for the better for her. And even if I don't particularly care for them, I have accepted them for her. And if I truly did not want to participate in one of them I would say that is a hard limit. Being told this is what is happening and accepting it, is different than being told and not having a choice. We all have a choice no matter how much is "forced".
     
  3. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    Who the fuck is this guy?
     
  4. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    Human sexuality is a complicated thing. Why does one person get aroused with a particular thing or activity while others do not? Odor? Texture? Chooses a stimulus? We understand the biochemistry but not the reasoning . . . ad who really cares, that's part of what makes us unique.

    Should we be more attentive in our relationship(s)? Yes. Relationships are work. They are also something that many take for granted.

    Discipline for behavior modification . . . you have to understand that this is more of a mental thing than anything. Some are trying to give up responsibility or be punished as a way to relieve stress.

    Choice - We all have it and can say no at any time. This includes our SOs and play partners when we ask them to do something outside their comfort level.
     
  5. Catbond
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    Catbond Aka Professor Mittens, aka Fluffy.

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    Thanks for the eye opening lecture, Master.
     
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  6. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    Oh my where to begin....
    I love my husband more than anyone in the world... and I do mean anyone. And I know he feels the same way about me.
    He has ALWAYS has been helpful around the house, doing dishes and helping clean.... he is not a great cook nad that ok becuase I am and I don't mind that's. We have three kids and I never have to ask him to help, he loves his children and takes care of them becuase they are so special. Not becuase I make him!!!! He shouldn't be expect to or have to be asked to ... it just his role as a father and we both know it.

    We have NEVER had problem with sex, making love or satisfying each other.
    I have never had better sex in my life then with this man. He knows ever inch and part of me perfectly and I feel I am the same whit him. We connected with each other the very first time we ever spent time together. Often I wish we could be one person so I could share everythign he is... In my posts I always talk about how much I love him.
    It took us 12years and a lot of growing up together befor we started using chastity and orgams denial.
    It was a decision we both made together and a world we have decided to explore TOGEHTER!!!
    We didn't choose it because he ignores me or needs to pay more attention to me. We just thought It would be fun to curb his masturbation problem and things have developed along the way. I don't think either of us had any idea what we were actually getting ourselves into.
    I have since loved how mushy he gets when he is in his sub mode.
    I love when he follows me around like a puppy and wants to touch me and be with me and love me. Even tho he does that anywyas.
    I like denying his orgasms becuase it's fun! Becuase when he does cum it will be amazing.
    I don't really punish him... I have taken on more of a kind of loving Dom role... I love him.I don't want to tourture him. Well only a little bit

    When he thinks of me I want him to think of how loving I am and want him to desire my kind words and soft touches.
    But I also want to have a lot of fun with him....


    I don't understand how you can talk about how everyone is messed up in what they do.
    This is not a place to judge how we all choose to play with chastity,
    .... you are going to self lock yourself becuase you want to feel other people's emotions towards you in a sexual way..
    What you do and how you are going to use chastity Is no better than anyone else's.
    And If you are excited about your new device and how you are going to use it,you could have just told us all rather than criticize.
     
  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Ok, I'll bite.

    Today I am two days post orgasm. After five months (and a day) of denial my Wife invited me to make love with her. No numbing cream, total permission to cum as soon as I was able, no pressure to perform for any length of time. This was the longest period of denial I have been put through so far in the year we have been doing this. I had the biggest orgasm of my life. I was shouting during the orgasm and afterwards didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both at the same time. My Wife spent the day glowing, happy and content with what had happened.

    Tonight we shared an intimate shower. I enjoyed giving her attention and she enjoyed doing the same for me. I was able to step out of the shower unaided. In a month or so I will have to be helped out of the shower because my response to her attention will have got to the point where I can barely stand. I cannot begin to describe the feelings that course through me after five months of denial.

    That is why we do this mostly from my perspective, though my Wife has found a sexual confidence she didn't have before because of the way I respond to her touch. Why does she do It? Because she now knows that we can have an intimate shower, or a cuddle, and it doesn't have to lead to sex. I never intentionally put her under pressure to have sex but she felt it anyway. She gets to say if, when and how we have sex. And, would you believe it, because the pressure is off, we have more sex, not less. Ok, the vast majority of this sex is with her experiencing the orgasms, I assist and her orgasms have become our orgasms.

    With your perspective I don't expect you to understand that last point. I never expected it to be so powerful myself.

    This hardly scratches the surface of why we are doing this, barely begins to describe how much fun both of us are having or how much stronger it has made our relationship. It was strong before but now it is rock solid.

    Oh, and my Wife locking my penis up is the most loving thing she has ever done for me.
     
  8. Catbond
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    Catbond Aka Professor Mittens, aka Fluffy.

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  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    And then write all about it so we can all be happy for him and just a little bit jealous!
     
  10. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    Your posts and what you had to say, was never a concern, hence the reason why I like several of your posts and we both followed one another.

    One could read into your posts and tell that you and your husband had a fun relationship. As I said in my original post some posts, not all
     
  11. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    Cat... you made your own bed... Steve does not need to share it.
    Steve will get his... I have a very lovey gift for him tonight :) that I will tell bout tomorrow.
     
  12. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    It goes without saying that much written in the Mansion is written by people who wish they lived this lifestyle, or live a different aspect of it than those of us in healthy loving marriages or partnerships. The sad thing is many people who I think do live this lifestyle and who I enjoyed interacting with don't stick around very long.

    Are the two things linked? Possibly.
     
  13. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    I think the OP should at least wait until his cage arrives and he has been locked away for a week or two before musing about how other members live their lives.
     
  14. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    Thanks Mistress but it's never going to be locked away 4 a week or two at a time. I have no issue with the length of time as long as it's mutually agreed-upon. What I was taking exception to is some of the language and way people referred to and talked about their "loved one". Referring to them as pathetic or irrelevant, has to be just fantasy talk or an online persona, who would actually stay with someone if they truly thought that about them?


    Everybody can be as irritated with my post as they want to, the way I see it- if there wasn't a touch of truth to it it wouldn't spark such a response.
     
  15. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    It sparks a response because its insulting to have your lifetyle belittled by someone who has no idea what theyre talking about. Some folks here have been rockin weird shit for decades. This whole lifestyle (and related bdsm) is based on massive amounts of trust and often love. You just don't get it.
    And that's fine.
     
  16. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Or rather, doesnt get it....yet. He has a device on order, and who knows how his chastity life will develop.
     
  17. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    So true.
    I'd also just like to say that if you can't decipher between the real folks and fantasy folks around here (for the most part) you should give your head a shake.
    It's the Internet, bro.

    Ps my wife makes fun of my wang and I love it
     
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  18. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    Thanks guys... great feedback.
    Are you this assertive and opinionated in your own relationships, or only on the internet when you can be anonymous?
     
  19. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    I'm probably worse in person.

    Edit: Who am I kidding? I'm definitely worse in person.
     
  20. Catbond
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    Catbond Aka Professor Mittens, aka Fluffy.

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  21. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    Keep them coming guys... Shows that you still have some balls and you can get the testosterone flowing regardless of whether your Doms find them insignificant irrelevant tiny or whatever.
     
  22. Love&Passion
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    Love&Passion Long term member

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    A homophobic walks into a gay bar. Tells everyone they are wrong, has a few shots and leaves confused, very confused.
     
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  23. alter_ego
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    alter_ego Member

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    Hehehehe... cute!
    ok everyone wearing panties/maids outfits/etc raise your hands...

    Notice that you are the only ones complaining and taking exception...

    If you aren't an assertive man that is on the top/Dom side of your relationship, you will not understand... I was arguing FOR you!
    ...don't you have some chores to do?
     
  24. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    we talk about everything and always have. Doesn't mean everything has always been hunky dory but, we work it out.
     
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  25. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    Ooh, Me me ME! *hand raised*

    Only I'm not complaining, or taking exception, or getting my knickers in a twist - even though you were a silly sausage and invited us to do exactly that at the very start of your opening post.

    No, I'm here to make the comment that your main point as expressed in your OP can be summed up in your own words....
    "I dont understand"

    You even said it twice. Haha.

    So let me explain - all of the men here, me, you, and everyone else, we're all here because of one thing.......we all have an interest in chastity of some sort, and issues related to. We may wear one, we may own many, and indeed we all have our own reasons for our interest and our own ways of approaching chastity.

    Some do it on their own without even wanting a relationship.
    Some do it very much within a relationship.
    Some do it without even wearing a chastity device. I know, krazy huh?

    The thing is, we all do it differently. If you were to re-write your OP, you could put across all the same ideas but in terms of "This is how I feel about chastity, though I'm aware others do it differently and in ways I don't understand"

    But you're right about one thing - you are perfect in every single way - but so are the rest of us.
    Alternatively, we're all probably a bit crap here and there.

    I love alternative things at the moment, cant think why! Hahaha
     
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