Long term chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Kinky Irish Couple, Dec 10, 2016.

?

What is long term chastity?

  1. Up to 1 month

    12 vote(s)
    8.3%
  2. 1 to 3 months

    25 vote(s)
    17.4%
  3. 1 to 6 months

    54 vote(s)
    37.5%
  4. A year

    47 vote(s)
    32.6%
  5. More than a year - indefinite lockup

    47 vote(s)
    32.6%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. Kinky Irish Couple
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    Kinky Irish Couple New member

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    Fantasy and reality are two vastly different spaces. For a submissive long term chastity is a wish. In the past we have explored chastity in the form of CB's and a belt (up to 4 days). My husband has had a long held desire to be locked in a chastity and I know in his submissive dreams he wish's for me to hold the key over a longer term. Soon we will have a new chastity cage.

    For many long term can mean different things, so I would like to find out what a typical 'long term' lockup is. I would like to find out what a good long up period once we are comfortable in the cage. Are we talking days, weeks, months or even up to a year?

    What experiences or advice can you share?

    Should I set a an initial lockup period for him (10, 20, 30 or even 90 days)?

    How long have any of you been in chastity or held your significant other in chastity?
     
  2. ladylionzsissy
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    ladylionzsissy male chastity sissymaid

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    in my case MsK, we started with short periods that eventually extended to weeks, then months and now it's years. Despite my Wife's insistence, it took me about 3 months or so to get used to chastity and after a while I became used to long-term. in the meantime I was trained as a maid.
     
  3. nvrsaynvr63
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    nvrsaynvr63 Long term member

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    It all depends on the couple, there's no perfect answer for everyone. I am locked 24/7 except when she wants to unlock me for play. Full orgasms can vary from a week to well over a month, it's up to her. We never keep a set lockup schedule, it all depends on the mood. I never know when I'm going to be released except those rare times she wants me to top her, that way I can plan my attack so to speak.

    I would suggest starting slow, make sure the cage is comfortable and causes no issues before moving on to longer lock up times. Once you know the cage can stay on 24/7, then you can experiment with durations. Do what works for you and the rest will fall into place.

    Enjoy.
     
  4. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Welcome and go for it. I have my subbie locked indefinitely.

    This may or may not be right for you.

    But initial period? Why not? It depends what YOU want.

    And/or you can have so the end the lockup session he has to give, say, a month's notice or whatever.
     
  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    @nvrsaynvr63 said it perfectly.

    Start with a cage he is comfy in, he should know within a week(always keep an eye out for spots or sores), then I would start out with new levels.

    If he's only done a few days a week is a good start. Then weeks. As far as how long you SHOULD keep him locked? That's entirely up to when you would like to use his penis.

    I get unlocked whenever she wants to, that doesn't mean I get to cum. She'll let me know when I tell her I'm getting close.

    Some subs are different than others. Some don't want release, I love getting out. The fact I don't get a choice is what I like.

    Good luck
     
  6. Chat408
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    Chat408 Owl always love you
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    I use a date method now, we were originally just slowly expanding the time from one week, to 2 weeks, 3 weeks, etc. When we hit 8/6 I told him he would go 14 weeks without an orgasm. This did not mean that he would be locked the entire time, but would not get a full orgasm for 14 weeks. His release date was set to 11/12 and now he is locked until 4/22 or 23 weeks. We are exploring the longer term lock up - but remember i do let him out. He may be out an entire weekend with orders not to touch, and I do ask him as I know that he will tell me the truth.

    We have been together for 34 years, so we are older and have a very loving relationship. We started with a contract to allow me to get my head around the chastity world, and I am still working on that. I love the longer terms as he is much more sensitive than he was when we would do one or two weeks. We have been involved in chastity for about 2 years. This adventure has really intensified our relationship. We have no small children in the house, and can focus on each other even more than we did when we were first married.

    My suggestion would be to start slow, enjoy all of the time you have doing this - remember life happens and sometimes you will not be able or even want to play, but that does not mean that you cannot talk about what you both are feeling. Do not ever let him make you feel guilty if you are not doing things the way he thinks you should. You are in control and should take your time to get what you want to do right. It is not always about sex. I have My Darling do one romantic thing a month. Just this morning he completed his December romantic thing by letting me sleep in and getting donuts. When he woke me up, my coffee was waiting and I was able to enjoy it with the donuts. Simple things like that will show you he is putting you first and that to me is what chastity is really about. Getting the men to think with their other head is much harder than one might think.
     
  7. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    You need to define chastity. Some see it has just locking up a guy. Others consider it "chastity", orgasm denial which is really the definition of chastity. To me, the period locked up is not important. What is important is how many orgasms I get. I have been wearing a chastity cage on my penis going on 5 years. I do not find that difficult to do once you get used to it. It is like when you first wore a wrist watch or ring. You get used to it and forget it is even there most time. I am that way with my Jailbird. It stays on me just like my wedding band does.

    Orgasm denial is a different story though. You do not even need a chastity device to to teasing and denial. Up to now the longest I have gone without an orgasm was 4 months with a total of only 6 in a year. My wife and I agree on my orgasm denial period prior to the start of each year. She starts at zero, a number she has always said if I left it to her, Long story but my wife has absolutely no need for my penis since leaving her girlfriend. I start at 12 and we compromise with a number somewhere between those two.

    For 2017 I was now ready to leave it completely to my wife. She said maybe an orgasm on my birthday if I was good. She no longer feels guilty about denying me and she likes how energetic I am while denied. We both hate how I feel after an orgasm. I really do not want an orgasm. The only time I do is after she has edged me for a long time. My wife is happier now because she felt that setting a number of minimum orgasms took away some of her power. She also said that when I am denied an orgasm she has the best orgasms of her life. So we have finally got to the point where it is 100% her decision despite her preference for sex with women. We do have safeties in place though. My wife will give me an orgasm if she feels that I am in mental or physical distress. I also still have my BDSM safe word, which I have never used with my wife before. We always play safe and sane. If sex is not fun for both of us, we do not do it. That is how it is for most couples. No one can legally be forced to do something they do not want to do.
     
  8. Kinky Irish Couple
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    Kinky Irish Couple New member

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    Thanks everyone for the input.

    It go's without saying that we are anticipating some settling in time with the new chastity cage before we are both comfortable being locked for a period of time. What I am really trying to gauge is what is a good initial lockup period? We are both very interested in chastity and what it might bring to relationship. For us to seriously practice it we are thinking about an initial enforcement period of continuous wear without release. Preventing him from having an orgasm for a period will give his body and mind time to adjust to the lack of masturbation. Hubby has been begging me to lock him up so I certainly want to enforce a period that confirms to him my equal desire and commitment to him being help in chastity and gets him proper mindset. I think I also need this so that I can learn to say “no”. Hopefully when I do lock him into the cage I will be able to tell him is next release will be 2, 3 4 or more months. Something is saying 3 months might be a good starting point, but I would really love some input here.

    I certainly do agree with this, but I think it is for when chastity has been established and hubby is knows that he remains locked until I choose to release him.

    I think this is what I'd like to aspire to and hopefully achieve with our relationship. It sounds like you have found a balance. As you point out you have periods between full organism rather than keeping him locked 24/7. This could really work, and I am sure it tease and denial can play a major part between these times. This is where I would need to work on saying 'no, you can't have a organism' particularly if I was teasing or making use of his cock...

    Thanks to everyone who has shared their thoughts.

    For now I need to work on the initial lockup period and the almost conditioning that should go along with. I am leaning to a 3 month or 90day full lockup to establish things and maybe grant a full organismic release. Then I am thinking about adapting some of the suggestions above where there would be surprise organismic releases and load of tease and denial.

    Any advice or suggestions on getting things established and conditioning would be really welcome.
     
  9. dboy
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    dboy Junior Member

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    An initial 3 month lockup is not recommended and will create a lot of stress. It can takes months just to get the proper fit. Whether you start slowly or quickly, you'll get to the same place. Start with a few days and build up. Getting used to chastity is very difficult for a man. Let him adjust to slowly increasing time periods. Take your time and enjoy the ride. You'll still get to your destination.
     
  10. Kinky Irish Couple
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    Kinky Irish Couple New member

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    I'm not sure if you understood my original or second post. I have always stated post settling period which we both understand to be the period that it takes to get the cage fitting comfortable and without issue.

    It does make sense to have a gradual build up and this has always been the intention, but its post this that I or we really trying to gauge.

    Hope this clears it up.
     
  11. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    If you ask me I wouldn't look for a certain period for the initial or any other lockup. If he already wore his cb several times for 4 day periods he should be comfortable enough with in the beginning. If he (or you both) are more comfortable with it you can give him a secure emergency key (there are small breakable containers for this)) should some problem arise that need to be taken care off in short order (f.e. slippage while on work).
    As long as you talk to each other regulary and you are always aware of how he is feeling everything should be fine. At least as long as you act with some sense... ;)
     
  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I think it a daring start for 3 months. If you already have fit JUST right, then why not.?

    IMO it all depends on how often he used to cum. A male in his late sixties might handle more than a guy in his twenties.

    What a goal though! I think it would be a hot goal to achieve, especially if he was proving his commitment to it because she was skeptical.

    I personally wouldn't go past 30-40 days, he will be more than likely broke in at that point.
     
  13. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    Even if he didn't get his fitting untimately perfect - why shouldn't you go for a uncertain time ? If he wore the cb for 4 days without problems there should be just minor problems at best. Those can be dealt with when they occur and then he is locked up again...

    As for periods I don't think they are related to age, but rather what you make out of chastity and your sexual life in general. We started with chastity rather playfully when I was 21 and with 23 we have been at times at 3 months+ without orgasm (lockups for play though). But if you have an active sexlife and it's not just lock & forget this doesn't matter much....
     
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  14. can-lock
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    can-lock Junior Member

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    I had written a long post but it disappeared into the ether. Dang as it was pretty good.

    At some point, if you are lucky, long term lockups will transition into a necessary and vital part of your relationship. At this point we could not, even in our wildest imaginings, consider not doing long term. My longest denial was 1291 days. In the meantime we enjoyed wonderful, imaginative and most satisfying intimacies but I was not permitted to O. One year I enjoyed 4, another 8 all the while she had many, many more. This last year I was released to "enjoy myself" as much as I wanted. For months I took liberties, yes it felt great, but it was terribly unsatisfying. I hated the freedom. I had many Os but they lacked love and intimacy. I was miserable and miserable to live with. It was a dark and depressing time for me. Finally I asked her to relock me. Happily, for us both she has done exactly that wondering out loud why it had taken so long for me to ask her. She has warned me that I may never O a again or at least so infrequently that it would seem a distant memory. She says it takes a month or 6 weeks to get into the sweet spot where I am loving and fully attentive to her needs. I have just arrived into this intimate Nirvana and have no desire to leave.

    The best advice I can give is to have fun. Pay attention to each other and your emotional needs. And give thanks that you have discovered a vehicle to take you into the most satisfying and intimate connection you will ever experience. Many will never know the great joys of long term chastity. But you will.

    We will watch with great interest how you two fare. Please do keep us posted.
     
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  15. Chat408
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    Chat408 Owl always love you
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  16. Chat408
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    Chat408 Owl always love you
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    I think the longer term denial makes the male penis much more sensitive, and think it is more like when he touches my clitoris on the sensitivity level. Never feel guilty for playing and not allowing him an orgasm. You simply will be taking him to a place he has never been, and he will thank you for it. My Darling loves the sensitivity he has when he has not had an orgasm and he would not change it. Based on our vanilla years, We always made sure each other was satisfied. Now we work to achieve a higher level of sensitivity for him, which in the long run (term) is much more pleasurable than him having regular orgasms.
     
  17. Happy wifes matter
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    Happy wifes matter Long term member

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    So far the longest I have went was 7 days . My wife likes penetration and handed me out . I can promise that is the longest I have ever went without orgasom. It was very intense. I would love to go longer just to see how much of a buzz I can get from constantly being frustrated and horney !! My vote is long term lock up !!
     
  18. Chastity lord
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    Chastity lord chastity lord

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    I get no firm date set just a rough estimate , which has been changed depending on my behaviour,

    And never shortened always the time extended. YES Mistress as you desire.
     
  19. BlokeDenied
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    BlokeDenied Long term member

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    Try initially for 14 days, then decide for another week or two. The hormone levels seemingly change for the better at around 14 and 21 days. Make sure to tease and deny at least every 2-3 days, with a little flirting here and there too. If you take lockup literally and pay no attention at all to the little guy you might end up with an angry and frustrated sub. This is my current head space as my KH (this is my first week) has been totally hands off and dis-interested.
     
  20. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    I think initial longer lockup can depend on what he’s used to as far as getting orgasms. When we started playing with a cage and denial, I went from having sex with my Wife every day for decades to being locked. So just a few days was massive culture shock.
    The first year she’d lock me for a week or two and then she’d let me be free for a week or two with daily sex again.
    The longest I’ve done in the last year (our 2nd year of chastity play) is a 26 and a 28 day lockup. She allows me sex and orgasms on Saturday and Sunday nights, locked all the time except those couple piv sessions.
    So if you two have or had sex a bunch of times per week, then a couple weeks locked will be huge for him, if you only had piv a couple times a month, then a month or 3 may be an easier transition. Too many variables for us to know and give you the perfect scenario, but you two will figure it out as you go, and obviously as others have said, communication must be open and honest.
    Good luck to both you, have fun!
     
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  21. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    #21 Tom Allen, Nov 14, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2021
    You have three choices with "1 month" and a lot of overlap between the choices. That's not going to yield much useful data.

    With that said, when Mrs Edge and I were getting into it twenty years ago, once we passed the initial "getting used to it" period, I was usually kept locked for three to sex months at a stretch. That is, the cage went on, and only came off for occasional maintenance. When we had sex, I wore a strapon cock for her.

    Once I was trying out a new cage, and she asked me how long I had been locked. When I told her that it had been about a month, she said "Only a month? That's not even a warm up for you."

    Long term is a moving target based on the couple and their own lifestyle. If you're starting out, try adding a week each stint. Or if you've worked out the basics, maybe double each period (two weeks, then a month, then two months, then four, etc.) You will figure out what long term means to you when the frustration really kicks in.
     
  22. Bucklocked
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    Bucklocked Member

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    I like not knowing a date it may come off. or if I do this or that it may come off. the thrill of every time I see her there might be a chance it will come off is what keeps me wanting to be locked up. the build up is far more intense then the orgasm itself. build up can last and last and go on for long periods. but an orgasm feels great then poof no excitement till the next build up.
     
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  23. BlokeDenied
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    BlokeDenied Long term member

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    Wow
    Not sure i could handle that...then again, getting used to no touchy, therefore no big O. I'm still very new to this...but never thought I'd be happy to go without as I have this week, nor keep prolonging, strange concept to me.
     
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  24. madams-sissysub
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    my madam also gives me no idea when I may be allowed release, ( apart from my routine hygiene releases) in fact I haven’t been allowed a release in quite some time, as madam can see I get pleasure from anal stimulation, she doesn’t see why she needs to allow me any access to my penis.
     
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  25. Bucklocked
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    Yes Mistress allows me out to shave once every 2 weeks. and she times it while I am out also to make sure there was no time wasted.
     
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