should chastity be only a sex toy to add fun on bed?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by latex_chastity_slave, Oct 4, 2016.

Random Thread
  1. latex_chastity_slave
    Offline

    latex_chastity_slave Active member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2016
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    32
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Local Time:
    3:50 AM
    When I don't have a chastity or a woman around, I can live, eat, work and sleep easily for a month or two without having any sex or masturbation.

    When I have a chastity device that locks me up, I cannot avoid having it in my mind and on the other hand, it makes me feel more horny and makes me often think about things like femdom, cuckolding, orgasm denial. The more I think about those things, the more painful feeling I am having.

    Even touching the chastity belt would make me feel so honry.

    At the end of the day if you can't endure any more, you will have 100 ways of getting away from the chastity lock.


    So, should chastity be only a device that helps add fun on bed?
     
    Newlover likes this.
  2. Wendygirl
    Offline

    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2013
    Messages:
    3,360
    Likes Received:
    2,461
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    gardener
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    London
    Local Time:
    7:50 PM
    Nope !

    If you do go for weeks uncared with out any kind of sex , then you should keep your cage on for at least that to get used to it.

    Thus it won't be any thing unusual.

    Xx Wendy
     
    Newlover and Matt110 like this.
  3. Kali
    Offline

    Kali No access to my Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2009
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    472
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    3:50 PM
    To each, his (or her, or pronoun of choice) own.

    Life is meant to be enjoyed, why complicate it by worrying about things like this? If it works for you, go for it!
     
  4. Gabriellia
    Offline

    Gabriellia Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2012
    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    102
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Technician
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Indiana, USA
    Local Time:
    2:50 PM
    I would say yes!

    You should use it how you and your other see best fit.
    If it's long term denial or short term lockup to keep your sex drive up. Really it's just another tool in the dun toolbox!

    FYI. Your sex drive sounds very close to mine and I find short term lock ups, about a week, increase my drive. It's weird but it happens. There was a time that I went 2 months or more and didn't even realize until my wife asked me if there was something wrong. I told her no and even argued that it had really been that long. After we talked it through it really had. This was yeas ago and I was in my 20s. Now in my 40s my drive is just as low .
     
    Newlover, bnd2plz and AlanThom like this.
  5. AlanThom
    Offline

    AlanThom Hi, I'm Alan.....

    Joined:
    May 28, 2015
    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    360
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Tampa Bay Area
    Local Time:
    3:50 PM
    That would all be personal in choice, in my humble opinion.

    However, like you, when I'm locked, I want it all. When unlocked, give me a beer and football, I'm good.
     
    bnd2plz and Gabriellia like this.
  6. bnd2plz
    Offline

    bnd2plz I keep my favorite things locked up tight!

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2011
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    2,318
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Flight Attendant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    1:50 PM
    From my own experience, I love it as a "sex toy" for the bedroom. That's not to say that I don't make him wear his cock cage longer than just the evening... What makes it fun for us is my husband never knows if I'm putting it on him for an hour or 3 days or 6 days. Unlike many others on here, we don't make it our whole life but instead just a part of our sex life. I would never want him wearing a device 24/7. Maybe because I already get everything I want from him. And, he seems to thoroughly enjoy our "part-time" chastity play as well, just as long as I always keep him guessing and teased out of his mind.

    -kisses-
     
    anasyrma, Newlover, Jblocked and 4 others like this.
  7. salonslave
    Offline

    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    Messages:
    610
    Likes Received:
    510
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    SW Louisiana, USA
    Local Time:
    1:50 PM
    For us (married 43 years) it is a bedroom toy. Everything is a give and take. She loves straight deep fucking videos. I love Femdom videos. When she has me locked (move fast because I harden and grow when the subject comes up) she likes me to suffer while we watch videos.
    When she is ready she frees me quickly so she can be penetrated by me.
    We are constantly in some kind of sexual game right in front of others, but stealthily.
    She does get my best work with salon maintenance, laundry, hands and knees scrubbing after hours.
    Our sexual life does not suffer even when we are at odds over life problems.
    Ss
     
    Jblocked, bnd2plz and AlanThom like this.
  8. bnd2plz
    Offline

    bnd2plz I keep my favorite things locked up tight!

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2011
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    2,318
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Flight Attendant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    1:50 PM
    Very nice! I guess I see it like "forced foreplay", and it's great!!!
     
    Jblocked likes this.
  9. Lockedwithlove
    Offline

    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2016
    Messages:
    564
    Likes Received:
    543
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Idaho
    Local Time:
    1:50 PM
    For us it's a lifestyle, we started roughly 18 months ago. Other than a 2 month span earlier this year I've been living with my device on 24/7 except for playtime and when my mistress thinks I need a break. I find that it sometimes does consume my thoughts often and sometimes that can interfere with work and other things. Honestly though the longer we live this way the more I'm used to it and it just becomes normal. My mistress only likes to play once a week and other than that play time our lives are fairly vanilla. Even though I wish she'd do T&D sessions with me, because she doesn't probably makes it a little easier to focus on other things in life. Honestly I would be bummed out if we didn't continue this lifestyle, it's been good for both of us and it's taught me patience.
     
  10. nvrsaynvr63
    Offline

    nvrsaynvr63 Long term member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2016
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    427
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    3:50 PM
    When we started that's just how we thought it would be used, for fun on occasion. We discovered in order for the full effect of chastity to start really working I need to be locked and denied for about a month. Then things get interesting, if it were only used now and then for fun it wouldn't be as much fun! So yes, we use it as fun for the bedroom, but in order for it to be this much fun I need to be locked 24/7.
     
  11. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    1:35 AM
    I wear my device 24/7. We aren't always 'doing' chastity, but I am always chaste. It was never going to be something I just put on at the weekend for a bit of fun, but we never realised that it would become such an integral part of our lives. When we first started I wore a device to cover up my glans and penis, not to be chaste. That developed over time. In fact when we first started my Wife said that she wasn't going to be a Mistress 24/7 and we wouldn't be doing this all the time. Well, that changed pretty rapidly!
     
    Newlover and Jblocked like this.
  12. Rider9
    Offline

    Rider9 Locked4her

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    765
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Slovenia, Europe
    Local Time:
    8:50 PM
    We started using chastity as a part of tease and denial games. So it was on for a few days than off for months.
    But as our relationship grew and things progressed to the point the cage is part of me now. It only comes off when she decides to. And lately that is not often.
     
    Jblocked likes this.
  13. Newlover
    Offline

    Newlover Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    64
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:50 PM
    Sounds like a WIN WIN :))))))))))))
     
  14. sylvana chastity
    Offline

    sylvana chastity just Syl

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Messages:
    617
    Likes Received:
    2,093
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Deutschland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    8:50 PM
    Not meant bad, but somehow this is like asking: "should forks only be used to eat beans?" :p
    So I completely agree with Kali - or in other words: in Germany we have a saying which would be translated like: "every fool is different"! ;)
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  15. Vinny
    Offline

    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,879
    Likes Received:
    1,668
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    3:50 PM
    For us it started out with me wearing my cage for 8 hours at a time but after six months I kept it on unless there was a practical reason to remove like chaffing or a doctor's appointment. I used to wear it even then until my doctor asked me to drop my pants for a Prostate exam. I made an excuse and told him maybe next time. After that no more wearing it for medical exams.

    I hear what you are saying but that frustration is what is the best part of chastity and orgasm denial. I am constantly horny and the slightest things make my cock want to grow but it can't since my wife had me get the smallest cage size Mature Metal makes. We started with no orgasm and then went to no erections either, even partial.

    I find the Jailbird cock cage to be very comfortable to wear all the time. If I am not wearing it, I feel naked. We tried to take a six month break after our first 3 years of 24/7 lockup. We only made it 2 months before we both wanted to go back to chastity and here we are 4 years since we first started and still wearing my Jailbird 24/7. I have become addicted to the anticipation of my orgasm rather than the orgasm itself.

    The reasons you list as why you cannot stay locked for long are the very reasons some of us enjoy chastity. For me it is not chastity until I feel like I cannot take it anymore and am leaking cum most times. That is when it takes will power of both me and my wife. My wife is done with the feelings of guilt for denying me. It took her two years to get over it and now she is merciless because she likes the locked up me better than the unlocked me.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  16. gyrator53
    Offline

    gyrator53 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    134
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired academic/consultant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    7:50 PM
    I think kinks and sex toys are great relationship savers. Let's face it, sexual encounter #1 with someone new is going to have a novelty value that encounter #4000 with your OH of 20 years standing may lack especially if the previous 3999 have all been 12 minutes 30 seconds, missionary position, lights off - the longing for novelty may make us susceptible to that new person.

    However, if, in our long-term relationship we find ourselves blindfolded or nipple-clamped or strapped down or urethrally sounded or butt plugged or locked in chastity or penetrated with a large dildo or interesting combinations of these and many other things then we probably already have all the novelty we can handle.

    So I reckon use your chastity devices in whatever way enhances your life and that of your partner.
     
  17. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,081
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:50 PM
    I understand and see the benefits of both.

    But for us, her being my key holder doesn't end when I'm uncaged. If she chose she could unlock me, for as long as she wanted. She could still tell me to lock back up in an instant.

    She knows this, so the fact I'm pretty much always locked means that it's the way she wants me to be. I'm glad it's not that casual...I would have a hard time controlling myself unlocked, and would get harder to lock back up.

    I asked for this, and luckily she has grown to like it as well, I think she would have a tougher time than me switching back and forth. She probably sees it as in for a penny in for a pound. If we are doing this, we are doing it all the way.

    That's just us though
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  18. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    1:35 AM
    Oh no it isn't! That sounds just like us, too. If we are doing this, we are doing it is definitely how my Wife sees this as well. And now she has decided that we are doing it, and there is no going back. There will be no switching between doing chastity or not doing it, she likes the chaste me and that is all I need to know.

    I too am glad that this isn't casual for her, but not because I would struggle to control myself unlocked. It is because I know she is taking my chastity seriously and not taking it for granted. She understands that it isn't easy for me and hugely appreciates the effort.
     
  19. TitaniumChastiTi
    Offline

    TitaniumChastiTi Custom Bespoke Manufacturer

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2015
    Messages:
    725
    Likes Received:
    379
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    7:50 PM
    Couldnt agree more, in this for the long shot here I dont honestly see a way of going back to be honest.Ms S prefers my attitude when locked long term, not as long as some but 24/7, my last proper full O was over 3 months ago. The discipline side of it really takes me to new highs and simply cant explain why or how to be honest !!!
     
  20. filltee
    Offline

    filltee Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2010
    Messages:
    3,378
    Likes Received:
    2,502
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Sheffield. South Yorkshire UK
    Local Time:
    7:50 PM
    In truth I never really needed the cage to remain chaste, well not MOST of the time if I'm being completely honest.
    We could have a long weekend together and she would often tell me to take the cage off I'd never know whenit was going back on sometimes it stayed off the whole time. We would make love, have sex, piv sex every which way and often I did not need to be told not to come and it was only rarely that she would let me. But when the weekend was over if she had not told me to I would ask if I may have my cage back on. I just did not feel right without it.

    She once said if you ask me to let you put your cage back on I guarantee it will not come off for any reason for at least 3 months.. I still asked and it didn't but I'd ask again.
     
  21. LadyS
    Offline

    LadyS Lover of LOVE

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2016
    Messages:
    398
    Likes Received:
    2,204
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Photographer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    12:50 PM
    Hubby and I have always been really close. Even in the very beginning I became very attached to him very fast. Our sex life has never been very dull, we had a few years that were maybe a little slower due to having babies... but with enough persistence hubby helped get my sex drive back up to normal.
    I can only imagine what a chastity device could of done for us in those times... I would bet hubby did more masturbating then he can remember.

    For us .... we'll for me... putting him in a cage make me feel like he has full devoted himself to me. There's is no more wasted time masturdating behind closed doors.
    Just because you have a penis means you should play with it all the time? And use it as a tool against your lady? Just to prove you are bigger and stronger.
    I have not problem with him being horny and wanting to fuck. Becuase he's only human. But he needs to be controlled.

    The cage give me a little more power. There is no more yea well I'm a man garbage. And if there is he figures it out and comes back for forgiveness much sooner than he use to.
    There is no more wasting orgasms. The next time he has a real one I am hoping it will be One for the memory. Since we have started Using chastity everything has improved. Everythign was amazing befor but it's deffintaly kicked it up a notch or two. When he's felling horny he comes to me. Not hiding with himself.

    I don't think having just sex with a cage would change much.

    But every one like different things.
     
    slave_m and Jasmic68 like this.
  22. dynamic
    Offline

    dynamic Active member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    99
    Likes Received:
    155
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    7:50 PM
    I am locked 24/7. My gf hold the key. Chastity is a lifestyle for me. This lifestyle is very simple, no teasing, no cbt, no milking etc., just locked.
     
  23. LadyS
    Offline

    LadyS Lover of LOVE

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2016
    Messages:
    398
    Likes Received:
    2,204
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Photographer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    12:50 PM
    Also I feel as tho having hubby locked up.gives me more desire to feel good about myself everyday. It makes me feel like looking better. Like maybe wearing the sexy panties at all times, just incase he needs a tease. Maybe it's doing my hair his favorite way just to drive him crazy. It makes me feel stronger and more confident. And oddly gives me more motivation to do anything. Because I know hes locked up and if he wants sex he has to come to me and I love having him touch me and want me all the time.
     
    slave_m and Mascara^Snake like this.
  24. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,081
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:50 PM
    I think my kh feels very similar
     
  25. CanuckSnowman
    Offline

    CanuckSnowman Active member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    79
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    1:50 PM
    Like others have said, every person and every relationship is different...and all of the situations and possibilities work. There is no right answer.

    My wife holds the key to the cage I wear. It started off with me suggesting it as a fun kink to try. A day or two...a weekend...etc. She liked it, but more as a bit of foreplay than anything else. Slowly we started using it a bit more. Then it progressed to a new stage. She has never liked sex while on her period...and had asked although I'm sure didn't want to know the answer...if I masturbated much. She's not into masturbation at all...and I was honest and said yes, I did now and then. I tried to limit it, as I knew she didn't like it much. At that stage...she said we should try to use the cage while she was on her period, as she wasn't going to be having sex, and thought it'd be good I couldn't as well. That worked really well! A week or so each month on lockdown, and she really enjoyed knowing I wasn't getting off without her.

    We tried a few task lists while I was on lockdown during her period...and I had to have the list done before she'd unlock me. Started with easy stuff that I could finish in a few days...then she made then harder, so it'd be a week...and then 10 days or so etc. But..she found it a chore to make a list all the time... She liked that I would do chores and tasks for her without her nagging me or having to remind me when I was in the cage, voluntarily. This of course made her realize that I'd do these things voluntarily when on lockdown. We honestly together didn't really realize what was going on....but she put two and two together than where I was horny I'd be more helpful around the house.

    I'm a carpenter and work on my feet out of the house all day. I also train A LOT in the gym, as its my stress relief and something I love to do. It took a while to find a ball trap device that would allow me to wear all the time, with no worries at all, and wear to the gym. But we've found one. So it only comes off when she wants it to...I can keep clean with it on so she likes that a lot as well.

    Now....it goes on when her period starts, and its on for 2 - 3 weeks until she can't go without PIV sex anymore. I give oral lots, but she really prefers PIV. And she doesn't honestly want my locked down at all times. So we went from 1-2 days a month...to probably 75% of the month on lockdown. I have yet to go a full month...simply because she wants PIV sex so I get unlocked. We've played a bit with ruined orgasms, and things like that...but she likes to see my cum and I love it too...

    We are going to have a BUSY December...and we both know it...so we've talked about it, and we've decided I will be put on lockdown on Nov.30th...and not get out until January 2nd. My first full month!! She likes when things are spontaneous...so she has kept that part of it...but she's putting together a list of things that I will be responsible for all month...some will be fun, some will be teasing...some will be straight up chores or housework etc. She is pumped about it...and I'm happy and nervous all at the same time about it.

    Wish us luck!
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice