mikecb's journey

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by mikecb, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Mike i think that is why the black balled game works so well for us. Points Princess only shows Her in charge personality at work. She really doesn't care to tell me to do things. With the game it takes all the pressure off Her as i just do things so i can get to 50 points for an O. You know how the rest of the game works. Like last week i drew an O ball on Tuesday but didn't get to cash it in till Sunday morning because there was life and She wasn't in the mood till then. That's ok with me because it's giving Her the control that i like. Unlike chastityjohn i know i cannot stay chaste for more then a day if the opportunitity arose i would wank in a New York minute. When i am feeling horny if i am not in my cb i just go get it and put it on in order not to dissapoint the Princess. Then there is always the frustration of not being able to touch what once was my dick. It now belongs to Sherry so if i don't keep Her happy, i don't get to be happier. The game also stops me from becoming whiney as i know the rules and it would do no good at all. As whiney as i get now is when i draw a blue or brown ball and say fucking blue/brown ball. Do i wish She would do more outside of the game, sure but i am happy for what i have. If She wants to :hump: outside of the game then it is just the dreaded black rubber sex for me. By doing this She gets all the :penisdance: she wants/needs and i still don't get to cum and the game remains intact. We are still looking for a dick She can use besides mine but that is not going well here in Homophobe, PA.

    Rachel
     
  2. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Maybe part of the equation is the "fantasy" piece? I think we tend to build up in our minds this thing called chastity way beyond what it may be when you get right down to how it works in day-to-day life with a KH. We've dreamed and read all sorts of stories - many fictional. We make this ultimate fantasy of what we think it will be all about, then we actually start doing it and in many cases the actual deed isn't what we dreamed up.

    Add the extra person in to the equation and things won't add up to what we thought it would be in our fantasy. Sometimes we get really lucky - and a few here seem to have the ideal situation - but in most cases it doesn't work out quite how we thought.

    It's probably still worth it in the end and I too am a bit jealous of those who have tried chastity with a KH and made it work.

    How is this different from anything else we fantasize about - Is reality ever as good as it is when it's unknown and brewing inside our heads? Sorry - that sounds a bit depressing, but with my imagination, reality is up against a pretty stiff competitor! (puns intended!!)
     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Now that just makes me realise how much I miss it all.... I really miss the marbles especially, that was working really well.

    It's such a difficult situation though, isn't it? Hmmmm... this isn't my journal to ramble in, but I will just say that I really hate being vanilla - it just equals laziness and unspecialness (new word!) and just everything that we are not!

    I agree with many of the things you say, and think that if your partner is willing (either as sub or Domme) you are the luckiest bugger in the world, just do it!
     
  4. unruffled
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    unruffled Zen Master

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    I am reminded of the old saying "Real life is what happens while you're trying to follow your plans."

    Let's face it, with very rare exception for most of us "normal life" is pretty humdrum. We have bills to pay, shopping to do, work to go to. I did once know a guy vaguely who had been left $2 million by a rich uncle and was one of the "idle rich", but few of us are in that situation.

    I run my own business from home pick and choose whom I work with and charge high fees, but still mt life is pretty routine most of the time.

    My stepdaughter was tonight talking about getting a new mobile phone, eager and excited that it would magically transform her life. Yeah, right. Just like the last one didn't. Again, with rare exception, not many things we buy or begin doing elevate our baseline level of happiness and excitement (wherein lies a secret to saving yourself lots of money -- hold off from buying that new widget, gizmo or doodad for just 48 hours, and around 80% of the time your desire will fade).

    Sadly, life is not Hollywood. My relationship with my wife is fantastic. I couldn't ask for more. But let's not pretend even with chastity and kink we spend 18 hours a day in hedonistic fucking.

    -- Unruffled.
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I completely echo what unruffled says about money... I was utterly materialistic when I was with my x2b and we had so much bloody money, and I was still the most miserable I've ever been in my life!

    When we took our DD11 to London the other day I saw a beautiful rock (... sorry... geology is in my blood!) for sale in the Natural History Museum, and x2b casually said "Oh that's about a day and a halfs pay for me". I stood open mouthed because there were so many things I wanted to say to him at that moment in time, and he had this stupid grin on his face like he was so pleased with himself. Actually all I thought in the end is... so what? If we were together I could get you to buy the rock, but I'd still be fucking miserable if I was with you!

    Essentially I am very happy with my life, 4 beautiful children and a wonderful partner who "gets" me! And who wants Hollywood? Most of the people there don't eat, drink too much and die miserable!

    I think mike's point was that we should all be greatful for what we have... and live for the moment. But as human beings we all aspire to the "next big thing" and we have to... or we'd still be sitting in caves freezing our asses off!
     
  6. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Unruffled, I think this quote is PRECISELY the problem that most people have with getting started in chastity. Let's face it. Most of the guys think that once they start wearing the thing, they'll be getting MORE sex, not less! lol.

    So, there are certainly problems with expectations. I think another problem is a side effect of getting exactly what we want. Part of the craving is to get so horny, we'll do "anything for release". We wearers sell this as a reason for our KH's to lock us up. "Think of the benefits", we say.

    In reality, "do anything" turns into "whine incessantly". I imagine for many KH's, it's like suddenly having another three year old in the house. "I want.. I want.. I want". It's got to be a major turn-off. Further, if the wearer is genuinely begging "I want, I want", and the KH isn't in the mood, what feelings are generated there? The expected ones.. the KH feels guilty for denying sex. Ugh. This obsession many of us share has some very contradictory feedback patterns that make it difficult to accomplish it.

    So, how do we break the wrong patterns? Well, either the wearer has to chill out a little, and lose the begging, or the KH has to truly be sadistic or heartless enough to put up with the "I want, I want..", and ignore it..... or is there something else? When a three year old begs "I want, I want", we don't always give in. They can't have everything they want. As parents, we can take the high road and say "Junior, I know you want lollypops and jello for dinner, but that's not good for you. You're having something more wholesome". I think that's the mindset the KH needs, if the wearer gets whiny. Again, though, that puts the KH in the "I've got another 3 year old" headspace. If anything, that's a turn-off, not an aphrodisiac.

    I've been reflecting on one of the Dommes who wrote about putting your man in chastity. I forget which one, but she argues to START with a three-month stint. That seemed ridiculous to me, but there IS a benefit. As I said yesterday, you CAN survive it. Masturbation is like an addiction. It takes 21 days to break a habit, according to some literature. Once the addiction to masturbation is broken, I suspect the "I want.. I want..." whining subsides a good deal.

    Still, I think cold turkey is somewhat brutal on both the KH and wearer. Perhaps my own experience was better. I kept giving myself challenges. "I'll go 3 days." Then, "I'll go 5 days". "I'll go a week." "Two weeks"... "A month".. "Two months".. and now "5 months". Perhaps KH's need to gradually break the addiction? Heck, it can even become a game of it's own.

    Oh shit. I'm selling "endurance chastity" as a way to make KHing easier. :confused0068: I think I've just put a target on my chest! *ducks*
     
  7. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    I think one of the 'rules' has to be no begging or asking for release without a medical reason. Just cheerful service.

    The three month to start Domme explains the another benefit - it it to change the mindset of the male, to make him integrate the fact that his release is under her control. She suggests increasing the time quickly for infractions like begging.

    If you have one month to go, and start begging it adds a week. Beg some more and it becomes two months to go - that is a powerful message and correction. The Domme HAS to stop the unwanted behavior.
     
  8. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Dear lord, I'm horny this week! You'd think after more than 4 months, I wouldn't be attacked by sudden urges!

    It can't have anything to do with reading all the great chastity stories and blogs this week, can it? Naa. Nope... Must be this fine Spring weather... Oh wait. It's snowing :-/
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    See, now you are just enticing me to do something naughty!!! :happy0195:
     
  10. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Bring it, Baby! :chores025:
     
  11. unruffled
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    unruffled Zen Master

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    Possibly. Although it's also a quality vs. quantity thing. And... let's remember the mind is the biggest sexual organ, so while we might be cumming, wanking and fucking less, it is on the whole a lot more satisfying.

    I know I am keen for my belt to arrive because I want to get it comfortable, hand my Lady the keys, and then wait on her mercy ;-)

    In my experience, with myself and clients, it's different for different habits in different people. Some say you have to repeat it only 6 times, yadda yadda yadda, but I think it's more a case of you "make" yourself do "x" until "x" becomes natural.

    As far as starting out goes... I am aching for my Lady to lock me for a year. That's how I personally want to start when the belt arrives. At the moment we're managing a few weeks on the "honour" system and it's hard (pun intended). Being locked will be easier in some ways (no choice) and harder in others (no choice ;-) )

    Lol, "endurance chastity". I think you ought to trademark that one.



    -- Unruffled
     
  12. unruffled
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    unruffled Zen Master

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    Yeah... go on... knock on someone's door and run away ;-)

    -- Unruffled
     
  13. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Facebook "oops"

    Lol. So, some weeks ago, I friended my piercer, Dawn in facebook. They made a page for their store, and I saw her on it. Well, she and I have been commenting back and forth on each other's pages, especially since we're both pet lovers. Anyway, she's the one who is ordering the larger balls for my PA jewelry. You may recall that I asked if she could "set me up with a set of bigger balls".

    My boss, who is also my friend in Facebook, happens to recognize her since he got a tattoo in her shop. He noticed some of our exchanges, and thought it was funny that she and I chit-chat back and forth. I told him "Well, we hit it off when I went in for my memorial tattoo (of my cat)", not mentioning my PA or nipple piercings!

    Well, tonight I put in my "status" thingie that I was frustrated with a drawing I was trying in colored pencils. Dawn saw it, and she commented "you could always bring them by the shop and see if the guys could help ya. maybe get some new larger balls while you're there."

    I now SO look forward to my Boss's inevitable stop by my office tomorrow! lol. Especially, since he teases I must not have a pair to begin with, since I ride a scooter to work! lol. I guess I'll have to think of a witty retort. Either that, or just tell him I need bigger balls for one of my piercings, and let him wonder! lol.
     
  14. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Yeah... I'm avoiding Facebook for now. One reason: It places too much trust in your "friends" that can come back and bite you. And then there's the never ending changes to their "privacy" policy that makes me uncomfortable.

    In your case since you actually seem like a "ballsy" guy when it comes to being straight with people - just drop the bomb and let him walk off in wonder. You don't have to ever mention it again, but the picture of confusion on his face might be worth it... Then again if you're a paranoid namby pamby like me deep inside, then don't say a thing.
     
  15. unruffled
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    unruffled Zen Master

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    I can't remember who said it but it goes something like, "you wouldn't worry so much what people think of you if you realised how seldom they do".

    Sure, you might feel embarrassed in the moment, but unless you live in some ultra-conservative part of the world, it won't last long and no one will really care (as an aside: elsewhere a couple of people have rasied the issue of where and when it is or isn't "appropriate" to be locked, and each to his own; but what you wear under your clothes is your own business whether you're a schoolteacher or a train driver).

    Anyway... the moment you let your reactions to other people's opinions direct your behaviour, you've given away your power.

    You absolutely have the right to keep your chastity private; you equally asbolutely have the right to tell them -- anyone not involved -- to mind their own business.

    When my belt arrives and my Lady has my key, I'll wear it and go about my lfe just as before; if people ask, I'll tell them or not according to my whim. But I certainly won't explain or justify myself because I don't need to.

    -- Unruffled
     
  16. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Heh, fortunately I work for a very open-minded University. I'm not terribly worried about being outed. Had I been, I never would have "friended" my piercer in the first place. I don't go out of my way to cover my nipple piercings or PA in the gym at the University. More distant colleagues have seen me there (and I do mean ALL of me!).
     
  17. unruffled
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    unruffled Zen Master

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    I wasn't really moaning about you, or anyone specifically. Just thinking out loud after reading other comments both here and on another board.

    But good for you.

    I suspect many men, if you did explain it to them, would secretly get a woody and wish THEY had the wherewithal to do it.

    Most people who decry kink and "perversions" see it within themselves and hate the guilt (c.f. rabidly homophobic preacher blowing rent-boys in public lavatories. I mean, it's a free world so he's free to be a bigot if he wants; or blow rent boys. I really don't care. I don't even care if he wants to be a hypocrite and do both. But in which case, I think he ought to be exposed for what he is).
     
  18. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    FUCK!!!! I'M SO HORNY MY HANDS ARE SHAKING!!!!

    It's sunny. It's spring. I work at a University. The coeds may be young enough to be my daughters, but I still want to throw them down and show them that old age and experience can outperform youth and enthusiasm every time!

    It's a darn good thing I don't have to go teach aerobics to a bunch of scantly clad, buff, sweaty young women tonight. :sex023:

    Oh dear, I do! :boobeyes:

    Wish me strength!
    mikecb
     
  19. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Wow mike, right to the point and living on a campus in my neck of the woods all I can say is I love this time of year! hahah
     
  20. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    And to think that I used to work at a University too. There were those benefits that you speak of! Ahh spring! :manga_beat:

    But aerobics instruction to scantily clad coeds... you are in to pain and suffering aren't you, you bad boy? I forget that about you - you are a pain slut. Lots of energy to work off huh?
     
  21. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Did I ever! lol. I ended up doing a ride I call "Intense 1". It suffices to say that, though I often don't go full out while I'm teaching, today I took the liberty to do so. There must have been about 1/2 bucket of sweat under my bike! lol.

    Gotta love the endorphin buzz! Weeeee! :confused0068:
     
  22. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    Wow, dollyanne is reading your exploits with envy, mike! All this exercise, and with young co-eds too! Until dollyanne's tessie's heal, dolly can't even go swimming! :character0180:Sigh...

    Huggs,

    dollyanne
     
  23. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Catching up....

    LMAO at your facebook oops! In my situation I don't think anyone would be surprised at my "interests" everyone thinks I'm "weird". :confused0086:

    I think if you didn't know anything about piercing, you wouldn't understand what she said, and would think it related to some other private joke... but who knows!

    And :anim_63: at you being a horny pervert! :mad0025:
     
  24. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    My balls are now 50% bigger!

    That's right, my balls are now 50% bigger. My 3/8" balls came in for my PA jewelry. I swapped out the 1/4" balls. Hopefully these new ones will be less inclined to pull back into my urethra while I'm exercising.

    If only they had an upgrade for the rest! :confused0068:
     
  25. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Bigger Balls are Better

    Well, I've taught aerobics several times since installing the larger balls on curved barbell in my PA, and it no longer recedes into my urethra during class. Yea! :)

    Yanno, with those bigger balls, I can almost imagine what it would look like at 4ga. It wouldn't look THAT much bigger than 6ga.... lol
     
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