More "Not a Word Game"

@Billus
When we were trying to sort out CM we tried to work out who might work together. So decisions were made nothing to do who we liked or not . We had major dust ups to sort out and bring calm to CM .
As it happens our trust was misplaced and what folk seem to want to ignore is no matter how much we tried to get her to stop the more she pushed.

What happened was inevitable , it was not a board or administrator decision.
We did all we could however she chose to push the button no body else .

Xx Wendy

 

And yet @SubVerity says he didn't know.

Maybe the communication system and different levels of access and rights is causing more of a problem than it is solving. Or maybe the current mods aren't actually paying attention to what is actually going on.

 

Regardless of which side of the fence you sit on its time people accept what's happened and moved on !!! No one likes change in life but the only thing that's guaranteed in this life is that it does, for better or worse...Crack on!!!

 

Indeed just what we intend to do . This has occupied far too much time over many many months and heavens only knows how many post and emails .

Xx Wendy

 

Whatever your view on Amanda may be, one thing is sure, she will be missed.

 

I dont know if its connected, perhaps those who have access to the data traffic could confirm, but there does appear to be a lot more new faces showing in the Chat feed this weekend ??

 

She will be missed for sure, and we have to do our best to fill the gap, if she does not change her mind.
Regarding communication - It is a real tough one. How public should you be about it? For what purpose etc..
I have made it very clear from the beginning of "this", that I was the one who sat down my foot, not the Board, not the moderator team.
To set the record Straight I did not consult the moderator team prior to my talks with Amanda- ( Talks that led to where we are), but I did consult the Board. That is how I see the Structure. The Board is to deal with delicate matters, and When I have made up my mind - based partly on the advice I get from the Board and partly from my own beliefs, visions, inputs and observations I informed the Board and then shortly after the team of Moderators. That is how this was played out.

I see a need to make the structure and the line of command more visible to You all. I have failed somewhat in that department for sure.
In the days to follow I will open a "hearing" with Board and in the process get inputs from moderators. The goal is to define lines of command better, but also to communicate these to you all- not just moderators.

Speaking of moderators - we will also need to see to how we fill the gap, and no one ( are you listening @Billus?) - no one of the current needs to think that the seat will be ripped from them on a cold dark night. That its not the way we work.
Amanda's dismissal was sadly the inevitable outcome after a long series of talks over many months..

We know what a huge task and responsibility it is to be moderator, so of course we are respectful and grateful.

 

Regardless of the hows and whys, this leaves a bad taste and impression on many of us... those who sought the mansion to return from its struggles earlier when it was down for so long. The issue for many is this recent issue felt like the battle between an owner and a volunteer. Impressions, even when false or inaccurate, are hard to reverse once in motion.

So, what exactly *is* the mansion these days?

- A mansion owned and controlled by one person, who pays to keep it going, but, ultimately, has benevolent control (as individually defined)​

- A mansion semi-controlled by a group of people (selected by some private method) by by one person, who pays to keep it going, but, ultimately, has benevolent control (as individually defined)

- A mansion non-controlled by everyone with admin/board/mods in wild disarray, open feuds and fights, and an owner who gladly step aside and let anyone else pick up the tab and try to steer the barge

- A mansion supported by experienced and respected volunteer admin/staff/board/mods, who work together as openly and cooperatively as possible, where a spirit or open frank discussion is encouraged and feuds resolved in a respectful manner when they arise (as they will - we are all human), that is entrusted to one individual who must ultimately pay for and keep running the website, but, in an manner open to democratic moderation from both the board (elected by a fair and open system) and the membership at large​

Both our admin and Amanda have my respect and thanks for different reasons.

I came to the mansion once a long time ago for what it offered in both learning and peacefulness among most members. Here in the forums were folks who came for very different reasons and interests. All seemed generally to support each type and perspective. That's not me, but I'm cheering you on, and such. In my personal time here, I have never experienced a negative or inappropriate treatment by admin/staff/board/mods. I know in out history some have and it seems to run the gamut from deserved to personal conflict.

Personal conflicts come and go.

What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong.​

While not satisfied with how this recent event feels, I'm hoping that we can learn from this and handle things better in future from all sides. Who decides when volunteers need to 'take a break' for example. If it is a group decision, then be open with the person who needs a break and resolve the issue with them first. And, all admin/board/mods must understand they are held to higher standards than us members. Do we have standards, or procedures or some form of charter we hold ourselves to? And do we want that muddle in the first place?

We are all free to come, stay or leave as we see fit.

We can fester and take sides and break this apart.

We can try to resolve the hurt, learn, take feedback, adapt, grow, modify, and become better.

We can take to the boats and slip away quietly if it just doesn't work anymore.​

I'd like to see us become a happy place once again, but it depends on too many variables at this point...





.

 

I like to think that your option number 4 is what I want and promote.
Well, the election of Board members can be a next step, but I think we all need to have a better understanding of where we ultimately are going in broad terms with CM, before we can start such a process. We need a constitution before we can move to elections, right? The "Playground" needs to be defined first, and it is not, really... just yet. Amanda had valuable input to that too, but.....

Hope I made some sense there with my broken English;-)

I have already made my excuses and sorry's for the process, so no point in repeating that;-)

You'll see - this is about to be the most peaceful place on the planet. Just wait and see...

An ambition of mine I am sure You are willing to support.

Thanks

 

delete this thread. get over it children.

 

[no, I don't think we do]

I'm off this thread now and back to the regular program...

 

We could not agree more Period!

 

Don't like it, don't read it. Last time I looked, you weren't the boss of us.

 

Me too, had a chat and Ms Amanda offers her sadness at leaving and she is Ok

 

For hells sake move on! why keep raking over the coals just get on with either enjoying this site for what it is or go to the other site as well and all sing camp fire songs together. There should be a section here which resembles the Wailing Wall!

 

i have moved on and pardon me @slave stroppy I was one of the first to promote that, If you failed to take on board the original posting of this thread, we were merely making it obvious that for those who want to continue in a dialogue with Ms Amanda, it is available, If you really feel that badly about it perhaps you should ignore the thread and read something else and save your fingers.

 

I know the other site. I've been a member of it for ages. Is chastitylifestyle. has recently revamped and slightly changed its URL and layout.. Looked in today for firt time in ages. Perfectly good site but not a patch on CM nor ever has been. Not a hundredth of the posts there as here, and quite a few that do have are from CM members anyway posing same issues there as here..

 

This is a web forum about locking your or other people's genitals up for kicks.

Drama is to be expected from all interested parties. So is acting out, obsessiveness, insecurity about power, control, low self awareness, outbursts of frustration, accusations of hypocrisy and inconsistency, and even, every blue moon, a slight lack of perspective. What else do we expect?

Now, can we please stop talking about these foolish, irrational emotions and get back to the much more logical, simple and straightforward issue of identifying the best mechanical or mental method for me to avoid pleasure in order to enjoy the sensation of physical and psychological torment?

I mean, keep this up, and I might feel all your interest in chastity isn't purely rational and pragmatic, like how mine definitely is, and I'll fight anyone who says different.

 

@loyalhack , that is the best post yet on this issue by far.

 

I agree and I always believe you should finish on a high ☺
Hugs
Lucy x

 

i cant log in to that CL site no more theres something wrong with it.