He broke down last night.

This thread is a shining example of how positive reinforcement can be better than negative reinforcement. Rather than punishing thekeyholderhusband for asking for relief (as some Mistresses might do), you instead praised him for his sacrifice and commitment. In his mind you connected chastity with masculinity and strength (a positive attribute) rather than just weakness (a negative attribute). This will lead to success for both of you.

 

Sounds plausable for some, but what happens to the pubic hair?
Ss

 

Maybe it's the device? I looked up the 8C on Lori's page and it seems to be a ball-trap device in addition to being designed for a PA. If I were in permanent chastity I'd much rather be in a 5C or some other Lori's tube that did not have a testie ring. In my experience, ball trap devices tend to wake me up every night with horrible pain from nighttime erection attempts. This sleep disruption is unacceptable to my wife and I will not be in permanent chastity until I (#1) get a PA and (#2) get a tube that does not have a ring around the balls. Check out BRM713 and Dclann on Fetlife. They are both in permanent Lori tubes that do not have testie rings. Your husband may be more comfortable in that.

Any time I've been "wanting out" like this, it's not so much the frustration that I can't handle but more the pain associated with wearing the device.

 

Consider the captured discipline timed lock box. Keys can stay at home but safe won't open until the preset date arrives.
Ours just came in the mail. The keys are secured safely inside until Christmas. Then at Christmas early in the day I Will find out if my queen just sets a New date or leaves the keys available to use at her discretion

 

There is also this , which is really inexpensive and keeps the keys in full view while inaccessible:

http://www.thekitchensafe.com

 

Besides the price. The difference it's kitchen safe can only be programmed for a maximum 10 days, where the other can for up to 999days

 

I was looking into the time lock box, too, but the kitchen safe is just too short a duration to be practical.

 

Easy done. Keys in a lockbox secure and safe somewhere else. And maybe also keys to the lockbox somewhere else again.

 

Do you have a link on where this was purchased ? Thank you.

 

http://www.captureddiscipline.com/product-information/#s

Just Google for captured discipline safe and it will bring up their site.

 

From what I've read in this thread and various others, locking him indefinitely isn't a real option. I feel for the guy. I know many here applaud the scenario, I can't. Nothing against the OP. But, it's not my thing. In various posts and threads you've discussed your bi-sexual nature and how you've embraced it during this relationship. You've discussed the idea of having a bull also. Making promises at the beginning of a relationship is one thing, living the reality is another.

If I were you, I'd take a step back. Resume a regular relationship for 6 to 12 months and then revisit your current situation. If he's all aboard after that you can nail him to the wall. No excuses. Or, he loves you so much he will say anything--- if that's the case, it's not the real deal any way.

Good luck.

 

If you were to keep the keys not in the house ... but on the property, and since you have your girlfriend with you ... I would suggest a nice air-tight metal box, a 5 gallon bucket, and some quick pour concrete .... I would then suggest you have your girlfriend or her man to dig a bunch of holes in the back yard (or one if you can make sure not to peek) and then deposit the keys in the box, put the box in the bucket and pour the concrete around it ... and deposit the rest in the hole ... pack it up , re-sod the grass.

That way if it is found it will take some time to dig it up .. and chisel away ... While this is done ... he could be tied up in bed with you teasing him about what is happening, and how it is a real problem that you don't know where the key is going ... but at least it is close to home

 

I say go for the safety deposit box idea and at a bank that's all the way across town to discourage any temptation and since you'll be the only authorized person to open the box, he'll never be able to get his hands on the key.

 

Encasing the key in concrete. That's an I idea that I had not yet thought of. That's definitely hardcore.

 

Or how about have 3 (or more buckets) ? Fill them all with concrete, only one actually has the key.

 

or don't put it in any of them. giggle.

 

If I was married to thekeyholderwife I wouldn't complain about being locked up. I mean, I can't have sex with her but there are so many other things we would get to do, like go see movies, relax at home, take a bath, without the added stress of me trying to hump her brains out.

 

After starting many threads and writing emotional wrenching posts concerning your husband's difficulties in adapting to the lifestyle you both chose, you're outraged that someone suggested you both take a step back and maybe try again later? I never questioned your love for your husband, however, I did question the long term prospects of living the lifestyle you've chosen without extra consideration and flexibility. My family life (kids included) is definitely different to yours. As a couple we don't seek ddama--- we talk often about our relationship and none of those conversations end in tears or breakdowns--- sorry, I digressed, my relationship shouldn't need concern you.
You have it all under control.

Cheers.

 

@Jay. Your suggestion that Ms KHW's posts are full of drama and end in tears and breakdowns is incredibly insulting, and I'm in no doubt that this is what you intended. You need to be very clear about the difference between stating your opinion, and making comments that are specifically casting judgement. The former is fine, the latter is not. Please take greater care about your choice of words.

Lastly - ditch the passive-aggressive schtick ok? Unless you really are just trying to let us know about your fine and upstanding character, which you are doing perfectly well at I might add.

 

@thekeyholderwife, I agree and I don't think it is a forum member's place to judge lifestyle choices. It is what it is. I don't want to be judged for mine.

 

If he can't see how his reply to you was rude, disrespectful, and condescending, then he needs to take a step back and reread what he wrote. You have proven to be one of the nicest and most respectful members on this site. From what I've read, you're also an awesome wife who loves her husband very much and does so much for him, not to mention you're educated and have a good paying job. You're also drop dead gorgeous and very affectionate and romantic. All you ask in return is that he wear a chastity device to assure you that he isn't masturbating behind your back and to come to the realization that he can still make love to you without the need for penetration and ejaculation, that the romantic benefits from this are worth the sacrifice.

Tears and drama are normal, chastity is not easy for a man, I've had full balls (gentle prostate milking helps), irritability, sexual frustration, but I've also had major benefits, most notably my increased respect and admiration for women. It's ironic because you'd think I would be more sexually demeaning of women in this horny state, but the opposite has happened. I used to objectify a beautiful and scantily clad women that I saw either in person or on tv, web, magazines, etc, but now when I see a beautiful and scantily clad woman, I find myself admiring her beauty, sex appeal, and even her sense of fashion, wondering what she's like as a person. It's almost as though because I know that masturbation isn't an option any more, I'm forced to look past my sexual desires.

The truth is, as difficult as chastity might be on him, the last thing your husband needs is a complacent wife that gives in every time he whines about a little sexual frustration. What he needs is exactly what you've given him, a firm, disciplined yet loving hand. If you choose to go the route of permanent chastity, that is absolutely your prerogative and I respect that, however, if I could respectfully offer my perspective as someone currently in chastity, I like working hard to prove to my wife that I deserve an orgasm every month, it gives me something to look forward to and makes it go a little easier on me. This is just my opinion and it may not work for your desires or the direction you wish to take, so I totally understand and respect that and your husband is just going to have to accept it.

I think you're a fabulous wife that needs to stick to her guns and your husband is a very lucky man to have you, the chastity is a very small price to pay honestly for everything that you do for him and for the love that you show him daily.

 

Permanent lockup is a hot idea. Actually doing it without having a backup plan is a real bad idea. Medical emergencies happen. What if the penis gets infected (much more likely when encased by something that holds in moisture and can rub)? What if a CAT scan is needed in an emergency and the device has ferrous metals in it? Either there's a delay in the procedure and a dangerous, difficult process to remove the device, or, even worse, it goes unnoticed (unlikely, but mistakes happen), and the magnets seriously damage or amputate.

Keep the keys. They give you power, too, as many others have pointed out.