Question for those in long term chastity.

That's the real fun!
Your friends do notice that you have suddenly become a caring, loving, ideal husband
But cannot figure out how this happened!
And the wives enjoy praise from them!

 

Yes indeed, but for those of us in long-term chastity, with orgasms not an incentive, what is the basis for this more "ideal" behaviour? I find it really hard to analyse. I think it is a combination: (1) the subtle effect of being dismissed after pleasuring her, without any comment on my condition (I'm left tingling all over and slightly breathless, and it takes me a couple of hours to get back to normal), (2) the shared secret of male chastity (in our case rarely discussed, just the intimate default position), (3) the lack of penis involvement gives me a more holistic female view of the world and (4) she *expects* more service from me, why?, I guess she perceives that the very important issue of sex has tilted fully in her favour allowing her to feel confident to ask for more in other areas. (This morning I was told to "get up now" to make the breakfast for her while she was getting ready to go out. I duly obliged. Interestingly such a command doesn't feel like "nagging", all very interesting psychology...)

 

@harddenial, I look at chastity this way
Chastity has taught me following / brought in following changes in me
1 - I have willingly handed over my control to her & she has accepted it gracefully
2 - Now my cock belongs to her, so she has every right to do whatever she wants with my cock
3 - Willingly or unwillingly, but chastity has made me submissive and made her dominant
4 - My pleasure lies in satisfying all her pleasures including giving her oral sex
5 - My orgasmic pleasure is written off in her name, so why should I even think about it?
6 - And finally, can I not do all this for my dearest & lovely wife?

 

We've been at this a while. I'm locked most of the time, but she releases me for periods of time, weeks, months sometimes. Usually it is because we are just really busy with family related business, or are on a trip. When I'm first released, I try hard to maintain the calm demeanor, the softer and more respectful attitude. I always think I've pulled it off and remained completely passive and submissive. (Our relationship happens to be of the wife lead variety) I think that right up until she locks it and it all comes rushing back. The more this relationship matures, the faster and more powerful the now familiar and welcome sensations of loving adoration and mindful servitude wash over me. I am permanently improved. I do manage to still be a well trained and respectful husband when free. But there is nothing like steel to reinforce and enhance my enthusiastic appreciation for my beautiful wife and for all that we are as a couple.

 

Entirely agree with you Usul - the steel reinforces the dynamic, upholding it and enshrining it. Being secured in this way is a constant reminder that I have chosen to be gallant, to be respectful and obedient. It also tells me that my Lady requires nothing less of me.

"Loving adoration and mindful servitude" - just about nails it.

 

Biggest change is I'm fairly horny all the time, its not made me into a house wife. I still feel male although I wear female under wear, but i did that before chastity. I'm more happier to spend lots of time exploring my wife's sensual parts and to have long foreplay with her. We cuddle more now in bed.

 

yes it change for the good i am nicer at work
i do my chores at home and my house work wife likes the way things look so i would say yes being lock long term has its postiive effects for sure

 

I seem to be calmer and more aware of the world around me when in denial, unintended pun there. My world seems less frenetic and considerably more focused. I do hope that's answered your question without reference to my orgasms.

 

The answer seems to depends on the definition of long term I tend to view a week plus as medium and a month plus as long term so if I look at medium term I am just horny and actually quite stressed. However after about 7-10 days I get fear more relaxed and less horny but far more romantic I suppose. I expect I will find out about really long term ( my most so far is 7 weeks) as we have entered a FLM agreement and my lady seems keen on targeting what to me is very extended durations of many months or years moving to complete abstinence but time will tell on that one.

 

Yes. Extended chastity is impacting my behaviors in ways I didn't anticipate. For example, last evening I attended a wine tasting event with fellow club members. All of the women there gushed at how pleasant I was to be around for the evening. Mind you, I am a pleasant sort anyways, but it was fascinating how I received so many compliments compared to a month ago.

(I am currently at 26 days.......and counting.)

Jason

 

I want to turn your question on it's head... I think my growing desire to behave differently openned me totheto theto the idea of chastity. Then, once in, the two blend well.
Few of us like old fashioned manners and civility, but the same "thank you" when said heartfelt matters tothe Domme who just disciplined you or the samaritan that helped you. I think for me, the cage physically becomes the hand of my wife holding HER treasure and controlling its use. So it becomes a constant reminder to do my best and be useful to her and refocused upin her. Trusting she is loving and caring, I just don't need to worry about my needs when I focus on hers. How can this attitude not fail to impact my manners when interacting with others?

 

Great point. Although I feel you actually DID faitfhully answer the question. It's always good to read a well reasonsed thought on male chastity. Thanks for writing it.

 

I have some disappointment.

Apparently the "purity" is about the penis ...

Actually, option.
It is possible for a man to give a woman more attention, more love, more indulgence.
To make a man transform his sexual drive to worship, esteem, and worship a woman.
Woman is creation. He is the embodiment of love.
Creator of life. He also creates the man. The socialized man.

I know think not all men that way. It does not have to.

But those who think that men can increase their sexual tension to make the permanent of adoration.

They want to make women happy.

They give up their manhood. Which disturbs them in this humility.
To completely eliminate sexual satisfaction.
Or postponed for the sake of the woman.
They convey themselves to the woman's creative power. Whether the power of a woman, whom he loves.

I apologize for my poor English knowledge.

 

Chastity has made me much more patient. Difficult to explain but I don't "feel" more patient, I just feel that in my past I used to be someone who was impatient. Now it just feels normal, I'm calmer and more content.
One way that I've noticed it is that when I'm watching the evening TV news, I'm much more aware of any emotional reaction to traumatic or controversial news items. I hadn't thought about this before you asked the question, but I noticed last night that I felt really angry about one news item, but then after the program was over, the thoughts subsided and I was much more at peace again.
Looking back years, I would have unconsciously kept that emotion high and that would have spilled out into my other interactions and relationships with negative consequences.

Has it changed me? Not sure which is cause and effect. Is it me getting older and wiser which means that chastity now suits us as a lifestyle, or is it chastity that induces a more stable and consistent emotional state? Probably a mixture of both.
Has it changed me? If it has, it's definitely for the better.

 

I'm not sure how long counts as "long term." I find that after 2 to 3 weeks I'm difficult, impatient, irritable, generally a pain in the ass (more so at home than at work). It's at this point that I'm frequently given some literal pain in my ass to bring me into line.

Once I'm past that point, I become calmer, more productive, less stressed. Sexual intimacy becomes sweeter and happier, despite my lack of release. In other relationships and at work, I also function more smoothly and with a better perspective.

 

If your wanking 3 or 4 times a day then anything is long term! .

 

I guess all is relative!

 

I'm gonna add to this post, and forgive me because my longest lockup was only 41 days. But here's my situation and what the outcome has been.

When I say I'm addicted to porn and masturbating, that's probably underselling it. I'm usually a 1-2 times daily, sometimes hitting 4 times a day. I've been single since my junior year of high school and I've never had sex. That being said, I'm also very picky about the women I label as "attractive." I may be a 5-6, but I only have interest in 9's and 10's.

So, with that back story, here's my experience with my longer lockups. Aside from the 41 day one, none of my other lockups have made it past 17 days. What I've noticed is that I become very irritable and it grows so great by day 17 that convincing myself to stay locked is pretty much impossible. My body is just so used to orgasming whenever I wanted that being deprived of that is annoying. But, when I made it past that threshold(the one time I was able to do it), I eventually settled down. But mine took a little longer. Happened around day 35. And I still wasn't completed submitted to the chastity device. I ended up unlocking because I met a girl and we went on a few dates. I played it safe and unlocked so that if we got to sex, I wouldn't scare her off. It didn't get that far and we only saw each other for about 2 weeks. But in that time, I masturbated and my progress was lost.

So what was I like? I noticed that I was more willing to do chores(I still live with my parents) and I started to find more women attractive than previously before. I also was better at conversation. I talk a lot and generally I'm not a very good listener. But at 41 days, I literally let the girl control the conversation. I also developed some urges which, when unlocked, I find unappealing. Wearing panties was one of them. They really are softer and more beautiful to wear. I also craved hairlessness for myself. I keep my pubic hairs trimmed but I began to want the rest of my body to be shaved. Unfortunately, my social setting would prohibit that due to the judgement of my friends/family, but I still wanted it. This made me a little more mellow than normal as I began to accept a more feminine mentality. It never grew to a physicality, but I feel like more time would've led to it.

Finally, I just became more aware of what was going on around me. People's feelings, verbal and non-verbal cues, and the things that needed to be done around the house.

This period of being unlocked, and thinking about questions just like this one, has led me to the conclusion that chastity is good for me because it EVENTUALLY makes me a better, more sensitive person.

I hope I answered the question to satisfaction and haven't rambled too much. I'm currently locked back up and plan on remaining so for at least the rest of 2018.

 

I guess the answers to this question are now different, based on what we now know about the original poster. Sad.

 

I don't know about @LesterBallard. I thought it was a relatively balanced andand open OP and there are several e Clement posts in the thread. There were, though, a couple of her/his usual snarky comments later in the thread.