Hello, im 22 years old and ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. ive only just started taking an interest in mistress activities and ive been mainly doing mistress/humiliation talk, I have brought the holy trainer 2 weeks ago and put my bf in the Chasity for 2.5 days. We spend weekends together and have regular sex, we also use toys ext. I want to do more femdom stuff but i dont have the confidence, does anybody have any good tips that could help me? i want to feel really good about myself and my boyfriend has femdom interests. Im looking for ideas on how we can take this to the next level. How long is a good length of time for chastity, what are some other ideas we could introduce into our relationship. im too shy to try new things and I want someone too aid me with a confidence boost to get this started.
Hi there and welcome to the mansion. My advice at the moment would be to have a look around here and have a think about what you are looking for. There are many options available to you whether you want to go with the slave training, sissy or just male chastity on it's own. Have a read at some threads and see if there is anything that appeals to you and take it from there.
Keeping your BF locked 24x7 is the key factor Of course you can release him only for sex Once you keep him strictly locked all the time, then see how his attitude towards you changes He will gradually transform into your 'dream man' who will enjoy your domination Al the best to both of you!
Invite your boyfriend to write out a list of fantasies. Make sure he understands you will read them with an open mind, and will pick out the ones you are interest in. Don't be shocked, and don't go ooooowha, with a frown. Be thankful that he is being so open to share his deepest secrets. This doesn't mean you have to act on them. Two little secrets I will share with you. A verbal tease whispered will go a long way, end it with a bite on the ear. And add something to you wardrobe that has spice. Wear it when he least expects it. Oh, and one more. A blindfold on him will boost his imagination when you don't want to dress all up. ((((HAVE FUN))))
hello thank you for all of your replies, i have sat down with my boyfriend and created a spreadsheet that we want to do etc. The Interests that he likes to do is strap on, CBT, Serving as toilet, caning, whipping, breath control, spitting, verbal humiliation, sissy training, corporal punishment and so on but the thing is I’m to shy and perhaps scared in a way to try them.. Also what i find bit difficult is humiliation talk, when every time i do it I’m always repeating myself which i don’t realise I’m doing it. i want to talk new things then what I’m doing at the moment. Sometimes i feel embarrassed of doing the mistress because i do sound rubbish. I will put him in chastity for a week and then slowly build it up and perhaps that will do the trick. Do you think theres a reasonable limit of how long i keep him in for, as I’m a beginner i don’t want to go extreme as i need him to feel comfortable first and hygiene reasons. Is there any more tips or advice that you could possibly give me? i do appreciate your time of helping me. KinkyDucks
One way to manage humiliation talk is to remind him off the things he's asked you to do to him, and mock him for it. For example: Cock and ball torture? On You? That's pathetic, you disgusting pig. Why would I want to do anything with your disgusting cock and balls? Are you mental? You'd really have to prove yourself before is even consider such a thing. You should be ashamed of yourself! This has the added advantage of putting off the aforementioned activity indefinitely! Most of all, take your time, take baby steps, and only do things that you want to do! Good luck!
@kinkyducks That's some list. A whole gamut of bdsm kinks. Just pick the ones you can live with and ignore the rest and if there are some that you prefer that are not on his list. then go with them.
Just have fun if your not enjoying it then its wrong.try a week in chastity keep teasing him at bed time pretend you want sex kiss him touch him then just turn around and go to sleep.will drive him crazy and give u control after a while u will either enjoy it or not.
Try see what you both enjoy and the advice is try it at least twice to see if you don't ! Lol Most of the stuff you will read online is either by people who write elf & safety manuals or who have never got down and dirty and actually done it. A lot of things depend on the mood of the moment and experience. Take things in little steps and talk about the experience . Some things you will revisit others may become as natural and usual as cleaning your teeth . Do be aware that endorphins are a stunningly powerful drug and can become addictive. You may find that swapping roles may help you understand what the sub experience is all about. Even simple things like you being taken for a walk hands loosely bound under your coat in some woods with no underwear. Communication is the key always talk all the time All the time. !! A little while back a couple on here got into some serious deep crap because they stopped talking. It was a complex threesome with some first time gay sex and omg no fun. Have a lovely Christmas. Xx Wendy
Hi and welcome. My GF is only a couple of years older than you and had the same problem. I'd suggest a google search of Mistress Ivey, she has some wonderful tips that help my GF come out of her shell. Her books are a good read also.
Just find a style you are comfortable with... don't force it. You can be a very effective domme even if you are quiet and shy. Rituals can help... havng him be naked around the house, drinking your pee every morning if he is into toilet play as you say, not lettign him sit on the furniture. Humiliation doesn't need to be verbal abuse.. just embarrass him in public..take him out on a leash, make him kiss your feet where others can see, whatever comes to mind. If having a strict "I'm in charge" attitude just doesn't fit with you, you can get to the same place by having a naughty and daring attitude.
You need to make sure he enjoy being your sub. Dont be scared of giving him tasks/punishments that he dosent enjoy it. Personally i don't enjoy punishments , but my sub side does enjoy it, it makes me fill controlled and so on. Also not all fantasies can become reality to anybody . Before doing any fantasy , think about it. Can it become real and can he accept it ? I heard many adv of men searching mistresses that would lock up there cock forever , also heard that from mistresses too . On getdare there was a post about how much this guy should wear his buttplug. It ended him wearing it till 2044 , 24/7 + bathroom breaks. After that the game rules were changed and his time drooped to more normal time. So thats why be careful trying to do fantasy in real life.