A new Journey - A Chaste Male Dom

I am about to embark on a very different journey - it has already started, in fact. What I wonder first, though, is whether it is appropriate for this form, or this site in general. For there is no chastity device. And it involves a female sub, with a very big twist.

Imagine this: The price the female sub requires from the male master is a simple one: to have her, he must give up ejaculation. Permanently.

Now, if that concept is of interest, and is appropriate for this forum, then I will recite how it actually plays out here. It is not something I have done before, but it is something I have thought of. And it is about to become a reality.

 

Ok, since it seems to be within the boundaries of the space, I will get down to the details. Unfortunately, they will have to wait until this evening, as work beckons. But I will start with a few short observations.

I have not read all the threads here, but I have seen threads here and elsewhere talking about how the dynamic often works with a real chastity arrangement, where there are concerns of topping from the bottom, of the woman either not liking that because she is the dom or issues from her not knowing exactly what to do with it. Of a mismatch between interest in play at different times. And so on. Plus, while I have not done any research on this, I suspect that many if not most people are not entirely submissive or dominant, but a bit of a mix of the two, lending further complications to setting up a relationship where each party is fully one or the other.

So with that in mind, a relationship where both parties are dom in some way and submissive in others, in a way that complements each other seems the most stable possible arrangement. Not that this is what led to this, but it is something that comes to mind as I ponder it.

I will have much more time to get into this this evening, so stay tuned. I am gratified at the interest.

 

Ok, to answer the question first - will I be able to abstain from masturbation? I won't need to abstain from it - I just will have to abstain from ejaculating. And really I am thinking in terms of never breaking that, which I will explain below.

This first came up in a conversation about tease and denial and what it is, and yes, chastity as well. I sometimes bring it up with women just to determine their interest, how big a tease they might be, and so forth. I obviously have an interest in the area. I have explored it somewhat in various ways over the years, but never anything that long term or serious. I ask out of curiosity mostly. One thing I have found is that the sort of thing I might want in a relationship - it was basically like looking for a unicorn, given my particular mindset.

For me, the way long term denial works psychologically is if the woman really gets off on the denial aspect of it, the more ruthless the better. While at the same time, she enjoys ruthless teasing. In other words, not the denial of no touching or stimulation I crave that greatly - but the denial of ejaculation - making it rare, at best. That is bearable where the woman truly gets off on it, because I enjoy that concept and then it feeds back on me, sort of in a loop. But the loop only stays as strong as the enjoyment is mutual. Very few women have the level of interest or patience for that. Because it takes daily maintenance in some form or another.

Another issue is the whole top from the bottom thing. The male wants certain things, the woman isn't interested in giving them if she is very dom, or simply not in sync with the man. More common is simply that most women seem to be more submissive than anything. So they just want to please the man and not take the lead.

This is rambling, I realize, but it is just a prelude to what I ended up conceiving. A way to combine the fact that women tend to be more sub with the idea of tease and denial. And so I came up with the notion of a mutual sacrifice, with the woman being mostly the sub, but with the important caveat I mentioned:

In exchange for the woman being a sub, a collared slave, the man gives up one very important and significant thing: The ability to ejaculate. This could be done with chastity, but does not need to, and is perhaps better if it isn't, given the nature of the relationship. What about not following the rules? Well, I'll get to that later. First, what are the rules?

I am not going to outline them completely here. I will give enough though to make clear what they are.

Rule 0 - In exchange for the sub following all of the other rules supplied, the male must give up ejaculation. Permanently.

Rule 1 - Open communication - self-explanatory. This is very important, which is why it is first.

Rule 2 - More specifics on just what communication is expected - it must be at least daily. This is important, particularly to maintain Rule 0. See discussion at end.

Rule 3 - Female sub must keep track of all of her orgasms - when, where, how - and how she felt - and what the fact that the male has given up orgasms means to her in having it.

Rule 4 - Female sub must be completely naked when alone with male.

Rule 5 - Clothing requirements

Rule 6 - More clothing requirements. Lets just say that no pants are allowed, skirts and dresses are short, and panties may or may not be kept.

Rule 7 - When together, and female subs hands not otherwise occupied, she is to tease male's penis and testicles. But see rule 0.

Rule 8 - Female sub understands male may fuck her at any time. But see rule 0.

Rule 9 - Female sub must keep legs apart whenever male wishes to touch her pussy. Even in public.

Rule 10 - A specific scenario I won't get into, but it is something of a work in progress.

Now, to get to more specifics. H. is the female involved. She is very submissive. When I first started talking with her, that's ultimately what came out. She really hadn't thought at all about teasing or being dom in any way. But when I combined the submissive aspect with rule 0, she was intrigued and decided she wanted to try it out. We started off slowly, just talking about it, and we still are in that stage now.

But in talking about it, what has happened is something very interesting. She is still very submissive, but she has discovered a small, dark streak of dom in herself. She has decided that rule 0 is her favorite rule of all, what she calls her little bit of power to counteract the fact that she is otherwise almost totally submissive in the relationship.

As we have discussed it extensively, we have discovered some very interesting things, things that make the above work in a very complimentary and symbiotic way.

H. is in great shape, she works out, and has an awesome, toned body. But she is shy about exposing it. The thought of being seen in any way exposed or touched in public frightens her... and also excites her because of that. Her sub side allows her to explore that in that she is willing to follow the rules. She knows that I, at least, won't want anyone to get arrested.

It was asked how I can keep up with rule 0. Well, given how incredibly turned on it makes H., and how she likes to repeat it at every opportunity and remind me of it, she is pushing exactly the buttons in me that keep me not wanting to ever break it. To break it is to break the entire thing, and that I simply am not prepared to do. So it isn't a matter of enforcement of rules. It is a matter of the rules describing really what our relationship is. We could no more break the rules than we could break our nature. That's what it feels like.
It is an intense buzz to think of it - what I think is called subspace, and in invoking it, that is where H. sends me into it, even as she is in it for everything else.

It is a very intimate and erotic dance. As we go we discover just how made for this we are given our own little quirks. For instance, H. tends to be fidgity - she always needs to be doing something with her hands. Which fits nicely with Rule 7 - even if that weren't a rule, her nature and her love of Rule 0 would have ended with her enacting it anyway.

She is very eager to tease, and after a lifetime as basically a sub, she is thrilled beyond belief with the thought of teasing with no relief possible. And that thrills me beyond words as well. It is very intense. That intensity is ultimately what sustains it.

I can't predict what will happen as things progress. We have not taken that next step, of putting the rules in practice in person, other than her following certain requirements now and, of course, rule 0. But we will very soon. And I will report how it goes.

I could write more, but time is short. I suppose I could try to answer questions. I will share more when we have taken that next step.

 

Given how it has progressed and been conceived, it almost seems like coming up with a penalty would be admitting defeat, admitting that it is inevitable that an ejaculation will happen, and I don't think that is necessarily the case.

Now, with some, perhaps, with a hair trigger or young or both... perhaps that is a real worry. But given my own physiology, I am on the other end of the spectrum. Under ordinary circumstances, I don't climax quickly or easily. Now, that changes obviously with lots of teasing after long denial, but the basic spectrum is the same. So if I am careful (and if H. is also careful in turn) then it is quite possible it will simply never happen.

H. to start with has already declared she is going to be very slow and methodical in determining just how close she can get, erring quite far on the side of no ejaculation, until she learns to read my reactions and also knows my buttons. I of course can help there with also giving verbal feedback on top of the nonverbal feedback she will also get.

And now the other concern unsaid specifically, but you imply is a deliberate breaking of the rule. That I simply won't do. The whole concept is built up specifically to be based around submission for that specific sacrifice, and it would be giving up on it entirely to break that. Plus, the concept of it is extremely erotic and very intense, and that intensity comes from the absolute nature of the rule - allowing the possibility of deliberately breaking it destroys that intensity - it only sustains itself when held absolutely sacrosanct. And so sustain it I shall.

Now, there may eventually come the issue of an involuntary nocturnal emission... but that may or may not happen (I frankly have never had that happen once in my entire life) but then circumstances are obviously unique. And even if it did, waking up to find that is simply not the same thing as getting to be awake and enjoying an orgasm. It seems more akin to prostate milking, which could be another consideration, but one that is not currently needed six days in.

 

To a certain degree, once you reach a peak intensity, it really just crests. You can only be so desperate to cum, though obviously there is a psychological aspect to realizing it has been a longer and longer period. Sitting at work, doing other things, it is a dull ache. it is sharpest when there are things actively "inspiring" - but then that is the tease.

I don't think a punishment of the sub would work either - it would be its own punishment, in a way. She loves the "never" aspect so much... and lets me know at every opportunity. Again, the framework we are approaching is one where we simply will follow all of the rules. There is nothing impossible in any of them. And while there is a lot I could make her do, I will push her comfort zones into her soft zones, not into the area of hard limits. I will go slow and careful, just as she will.

Tomorrow is the day. I will write more tonight.

 

It does seem like there a lot more men who fantasize about chastity than women who are interested in it, at least, interested in it in a way that matches the fantasy. The whole top from the bottom thing then comes into play. Or a sense of feeling ignored. Libidos need tending, I think.

The beauty of what "this" is for me is that I can take a very active role in tending to my own libido, while still being denied. And H. sub though she is, also has at least some initiative she can take to feel like she has control as well, and enjoy it. It is mutual, and that mutuality sustains it. Neither one of us is sitting around hoping that the other does something, takes initiative we hope for. We both are taking initiative in our own way.

 

@Greatcornbow - the beauty of that is, it is a feature, not a bug. We each top the other within specific boundaries. My range is obviously much larger than hers, but hers is quite significant.

 

I would agree - and thinking about it I think even in something not so explicitly a mix of dom/sub, sub/dom as what I am doing, that there has to be in some sense a "topping from the bottom" as how you describe it - the sub getting his or her needs met, rather than ignored.

 

Well, I had a nice long post up about our last encounter here, but the site ate it when it reverted... I wonder if anyone saw it?