Measure of the Mansion... Mk II

Discussion in 'Site announcements and information' started by I LOVE my Choice!, Nov 29, 2014.

  1. I LOVE my Choice!
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    I LOVE my Choice! Long term member

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    Hi there!

    I don't like to court controversy... but I guess when someone says that something (mildly) controversial is forthcoming....!!!

    I would like to objectively comment on what I guess is my 'feeling' of the Mansion right now.

    Of course-I LOVE it here!!! I'm a definite chastity nerd!

    And I guess by my very nature as a chastised man I am somewhat 'submissive' in nature....

    I also recognise that many of the ladies (and the odd gent!) who actively participate here are 'dominant' in their nature...

    Now.... these are very 'generalised' terms... but, then again, so is the nature of my post...

    I am submissive, but only to one person.... my wife.

    I also consider that the dominant ladies (and gents!) are indeed dominant.... but over their particular partner(s).

    So, what I am trying to get at in a manner that is not intended to be combative, is this:

    I sense there is a feeling at the moment where the 'submissive' men are 'expected' (for wont of a better word) to be submissive to ALL women on the site.... And that the 'dominant' women are 'expected' (as above) to dominate ALL men on the site.

    Sort of a mutual 'roleplay'.....

    It's hard to elaborate this in the written form without intonation of voice being present.... But I certainly RESPECT everyone on this site. And I really believe that manners are important. As such, I won't 'kow-tow' to any 'dominant' person on the site, nor would I expect them to attempt to 'dominate' me (unless it is my wife only!)

    I also don't expect anyone to be submissive to me.

    I see the Mansion as an equal ground in which to discuss Chastity.... Not a place to come and be 'typecast' in roles of 'dominant' or 'submissive.'

    And I 'sense' there is some typecasting going on around here.....

    This comment is bound to cause some offense... even though none is intended. I am not lining up nor taking aim at anyone at all of any persuasion.... I'm trying to elaborate my feeling of things in relation to my intuition about the nature of the posts going around at the moment....

    I will continue respecting everyone I come across on this site, and would hope for the same courtesies. And on the whole I GET that!!!

    But, I guess, I would want everyone to 'EXPECT' that too....

    Anyways.... we'll see where this goes...

    As always.... With the absolute kindest regards.

    J.
     
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  2. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    #2 Mistress Jules, Nov 29, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2014
    A very nicely made observation and one which has been mentioned before in conversation.

    It is part of the appeal of the mansion that there are members from all areas of the chastity spectrum. Some are with others as a couple, others have not been so fortunate in their chastity journey.

    For some they enjoy the Mansion because there is a chance to Role-play. For others they have no need as they already have someone in real life.

    I am sure no one would expect to make demands of someone who is part of a couple. I would also hope that this post allows others to see that role play is exactly that, play, no member needs to play a role. However personal respect and politeness is expected whether you agree with it. Or not
     
  3. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Respect is earned. That's important to remember.

    Just because someone is a Dominant gives them no rights whatsoever making demands on someone. My husband has said the same thing you said in your post many times. He respects and is courteous to everyone however he bows to no one but Me.
    When we first got into this lifestyle years ago I would see so called Dominants go after him, and My Rachel all the time in the chatrooms and fourms on another site. I had many a heated discussion with these idiots.
    And Mistress Jules is right, many come online to role play with others as they have no real life outlet. That rarely works out too well because the Dominants that do this think everyone is supposed to play their game. And that's all it is to them is a game.

    If you come across someone that is treating you without respect or making demands on you that you feel are uncalled for you need to let them know you are not interested. If the problem persists report it.
     
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  4. maid_carrie
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    @I LOVE my Choice! Your post did bring to mind two quotes I have seen of recent on the site:

    "It's a Man's job to respect women and a Woman's job to give him something to respect" - Penelopecruz (CM Member) - I think you know the Lady, @I LOVE my Choice! ?

    And @Mistress Michelle saying "I don't care if you think you are better than someone else, you are not."

    Says it all - it is surely a two way street? Mutual respect.
     
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  5. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    'Tis actually an interesting thread in that I think the fact that the very existence of this and its predecessor suggests there's an element of "discomfort" (the right word? maybe not) around at the moment.

    For myself, I am ostensibly submissive but not naturally and only to the person I feel deserves my submission, so this is the perspective of someone not in a relationship (looking? yes - looking with intent? no). My own conduct here always tries to be respectful and well-mannered to all. I treat other submissives the same as I do dominants in conversation - and I typically get the equivalent respect back.

    There have been occasions when my respect has been misinterpreted as submission, but only on a few occasions when a dominant has decided that they expected me to be submissive, so they treated me as such - sadly on those occasions the assumption of submission translates to a belief that being rude and obnoxious is a trait of dominance. I would suggest that in these cases, the dominants don't understand that the lifestyle definition doesn't mean arrogance and obnoxiousness. I would suggest that these individuals simply are arrogant and obnoxious, but hey, you can't tell too much from a chat. Hell, I have no doubt that some purporting to be female dominants are probably fat old guys who live in front of screens!! :)

    I'm waffling (ooops!), so let me finish in summary by suggesting those who assume dominance in general conversation probably don't quite get what dominance is and can be. And in general, the dominant folk on here are the kind of people I would want to engage with - they are well mannered and respectful - and I love the fact they enjoy chastity!!! :)
     
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