How do you deal with constantly feeling aroused?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Vinny, Jul 25, 2014.

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  1. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    I only have gone 3 weeks without an orgasm a few times. My wife has gradually got me to that point and wants to go for 4 weeks this time. Her goal is two months at least. This is not a D/s thing so she is not about to order me to do anything I do not want to do. I have to want to do it for her. I do want to but my body says to have an orgasm soon or burst open. :)

    Her point of view is that after I cum she has to put up with a week of me being moody. Then spend another two weeks to get me horny enough where she really starts to enjoy teasing me. The first two weeks she has to work hard to even get me erect, much less to the point of orgasm. Then when it is becoming fun for her, I bail. She says that it is OK if I cannot go longer but it is not worth it for her to spend more time getting me horny than having her fun. I can see her point of view and I do want to go longer for her as I see how much she enjoys it when I jump out of my skin the first time she touches me after two weeks or so.

    Right now she left it up to me and if I beg her for an orgasm on Saturday night, she will give it to me but does not want to play this game anymore with no hard feelings. I want to go longer for her because I love her and love to see her joy when she teases me. My problem is that I do not know how to deal with the sexual frustration. My mind is consumed with sex after the initial two weeks. It did not help that my wife just came in and asked me to dry her off after her shower and to lock up because she will be out until late tonight.

    Any advice? I have tried to do other things and keep myself busy but it always seems to come back to feeling extremely horny. I have read posts here that suggest that what I am feeling is desirable. While I like the feeling, I cannot seem to deal with it for longer periods of time. One extra week does not sound like a lot in my head but my other head is screaming for release. Help?
     
  2. laferrij
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    laferrij Mistress' symbol

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    What you are feeling is very common. I also was the same way when starting out. If I went one day longer that expected I thought I would lose my mind. Similarly after an orgasm I was moody and did not want to go back in the cage.
    As W/we matured in our lifestyle so did my commitment to Mistress, it truly is about Her. In doing so the amount time in the device became longer and easier. This is not say my frustration and desire to be out diminished is was simply easier to deal with knowing my pleasure was truly derived from Her pleasure.
    In the end it is truly what you and your key holder want and what type of commitment you are willing to make, which over time changes.
    Over time you may take pride in your chaste time and how you provided service to your key holder.
    Currently, for me, I see no relief from my device, I have been told there is no date and there may not be. I am prideful of this as I serve Mistress to the fullest and gain pleasure from that.
    Take it slow, enjoy and you may find your journey is the best fun.
     
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  3. richard
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    richard Just me

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    Live with it. There isn't much I can do about it....enjoy it when I can.
     
  4. barbara desmonsche
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    barbara desmonsche Junior Member

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    Stay with it & try to deal with it as best you can. Once you get past certain dates they kind of become achieved goals with new goals of longer time periods following.

    The emotions & moods that surface after you cum are why i don't want to be unlocked or permitted to cum. If i wasn't locked i would pleasure myself somewhat regularly & would end up going back to where i did not pay as much attention to my Wife as i should. She knows how much better i behave if i remain locked & cumless for Her, so She can easily enforce my desire, need & craving to remain this way.

    In a couple of weeks i will be at the 7 month mark of my longest time period without being unlocked & permitted to cum. i thought i was going to be unlocked at 6 months but was surprised when that day came & went without a word from my Wife about it. i didn't ask her about it & i know a Domme Woman friend of Hers has been telling Her that there is absolutely no reason to let me out or cum since i have not been able to pleasure her by penetration in 2 years.

    i can easily see my 7 months go to 1 year.
     
  5. lockedin
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    lockedin Member

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    I really do understand how you are feeling. I have been wearing devices for years but usually get some type of release (normally unsatisfying) about every 2 weeks)
    I am now at 6 1/2 weeks and just begging for some sort of relief - I am actually at the stage where even a ruined orgasm would be better than nothing.

    2 things:

    First: Just concentrate on remembering that this is about her, her and her. That means lick and lick and mentally become slightly objective rather than subjective. - It is her pleasure that matters and if you manage this paradigm shift well enough then some, but not all, of your arousal will ease.
    But basically with chastity - the more frustrated you are, the more pleasure she gets- if she can realise that, she will stop agreeing to give you an orgasm.

    Second: she can slowly stimulate you to the edge with your hands secured and stop just befor orgasm so your cum oozes out in a totally unsatisfying way.
    If she does it properly, you will get a little relief from the buildup and no mood disorders.

    Just HANG IN THERE.
     
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  6. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    I survived the night, took off my CB and put it away and than an hour later put it back on again. It would be easier if I was submissive to my wife. We tend to do things that we both enjoy so being one sided in thinking I am just doing it for her does not work for me. I have to do it for both of us so if it does not work for both of us, it does not work.

    Good ideas though and just reading them got me through the night.
     
  7. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    @Vinny, you could go the 2 months if you had no other choice. It sounds like you have access to the keys to let yourself out whenever you want. If your wife had the keys then you would have no choice. Its actually that easy :). And no you wont die from being too horny but I bet it will make you want your wife even more. There is nothing wrong with being dominant in everyday life but being submissive to your wife sexually. That is how my relationship is with my wife. I have given her the keys and only submit my orgasms to her and that is all. You should try it :D
     
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  8. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    So after 2 weeks your dick is screaming to cum? Sounds great! Some of us do our utmost to prolong that for as long as possible!

    You know you can do 2 weeks, tell her you want to make it 3 weeks, and if it goes over then you wont mind.
    I recently managed 2 months like that, and it was a surprise to both of us. I've only been at this since Easter so I'm new to it too, but that experience has inspired me to contemplate a formal 3 month lock-up period.

    It's good to experiment with shorter periods when starting out, as believe it or not, you'll find there is much to learn about each other and yourself. Shorter periods and regular play gives you those opportunities to learn.

    The important thing is not to get hung up over time scales and failures. You're right on the money when you say it has to work for both of you, and there really is no rules or manual for this. You have to learn what makes it work for both of you by doing. I'm having great fun with it, though it's occasionally hard work, and emotionally difficult as I have to be honest in admitting my needs to her and to myself. Fortunately my Lady is very accepting, though not necessarily understanding.

    Still, acceptance is 90% of the battle.

    Take it easy.
    Have fun. :)
     
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  9. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Hi and a sort of qualified welcome to CM why the blocked profile ? You only need to put in it what you want others to read.

    Any ways I looked to find out bit about yourself but that was a dead end.
    I wonder about your time frame and with an exciting wife about you why you have such a relaxed sex drive ? It it your age or health ?

    Re the chastity obviously give up the keys and simply get over the hump of thinking of nothing else but your willy .


    :spank:
    The reason for chastity is to make you think about your KH . Obviously if you have the grumps after climax then the answer is simple . No more spurty climaxes.


    Xx Wendy
     
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  10. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    My wife surprised me with an orgasm. She started off telling me how many days I had left. She said she was not horny but could see that I needed some intimate time. She got horny and had an orgasm and they she edged me a few times and let me cum. No complaints here. What I have noticed is that whether I cum in a week, two or three weeks, the intensity of my orgasm is about the same. Actually they are better at the 2 week mark. When I go longer it seems harder to get erect and to cum.

    I guess our goals are all different. I do chastity to sync with my wife's sex schedule and build up my desire beyond normal. I have said this before, we treat it as extended foreplay. The clock has been reset and I shall see how long I go now. I should be good for a few days before I start to get very horny again. Oh well, it works for us.
     
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  11. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    The wife and I talked today and we are going to give chastity a break for the rest of the summer. We have some friends coming to stay with us for a week. We also have our own vacation to the Cayman Islands coming up in early September and a few weekend getaways with just the two of us . A chastity device would just be in the way. I am not hard core as some here are but I enjoyed the last 6 months and it is time to give it a rest and get back to normal. Thanks for the advice and a glimpse into the lives of other men into chastity. It was an eye opener for me. The other chastity website I belonged to had very few posts about chastity. Mostly fantasy stories and talk about devices. The only posts that got a lot of replies were those that were about cuckolding. This is the only place I found that actually has enough posts daily to make it worth the time to visit.'

    I may be back when and if we get back into chastity. As you know, our version of it was kind of loose as I basically kept myself locked up. Maybe next time my wife will take control but I doubt it. It is not her nature to be dominant. :)
     
  12. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    How do you deal with constantly feeling aroused?
    Well, I enjoy every single moment of my arousal / partial erection!
    It constantly reminds me that my wife has my total control and pleasing her is my most important duty

    I have come to a stage that I am much more comfortable when locked
     
  13. subklik
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    subklik Office Girl

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    Hello Vinny, welcome to the mansion.
    This however is the foyer, and not for starting new threads.
    So, I am moving this to the Pedestal.

    Cheers.
     
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