LesterBallard

I have no agenda here. I'm not looking for anyone or anything. I am happy in my own life. I have a vanilla partner for whom all this would be inexplicable. I only want to talk and explore and examine. That's it. Total.

I've been interested in d/s relationships for many years. I've lived it when I can, but mostly I have lived it vicariously through writing fiction. I used to have a very successful story site on asstr which featured a lot of D/s and Femdom material. I learned a lot about myself through writing that.

Over the years, I have moved from being a switch to mostly identifying as submissive. This is something of a reaction to real life, I guess, where I have a responsible job and make decisions that can fuck up people's lives.

I see this sexual identity which I have adopted and accepted as being a response to real life, and I like it. It is a complement to real life, a different part of me, concealed day-to-day but no less genuine.

Me? I don't know what I want, not really. I want to explore and understand, and that takes time. I'm not looking for a grand relationship. I don't want a domme to serve. I just want to delve into this peculiar state of mind which has overtaken me and see where that takes me. More and more, chastity is becoming a holy grail for me.

I am at the start of what I think may be a long period of exploration to understand what I truly seek.

For sure, my starting point was selfish self-gratification. I wanted to manipulate a situation which accorded with my fantasy of domination. Even if that happened, it would not be true domination, because it was something I had basically engineered.

Now, I am seeking something different, but I am not yet entirely sure what it is. Certainly, any idea of domination doesn't come with the erotica baggage attached to it, or the notions of humiliation or subservience that originally informed my thinking. It's something else.

Bu that idea of chastity? Willingly? Oh, that hits something deep inside me. That is powerful. That is magnificent. To be able to make that connection, to be able to give that commitment, and know it is unshakeable. Wow, that is the ultimate turn-on. I want that.

I am a writer of erotica. I am mostly submissive but I can write from any point of view.

If you would like me to write a story for you, let me know. Tell me your fantasy and I will turn it into words for you.

Thanks for reading this. Drop me a line if anything I've said piques your interest.