dollchloe
Last Activity:
Sep 26, 2023
Joined:
Mar 30, 2019 at 1:54 AM
Messages:
24
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57
Trophy Points:
13
Albums:
1
Photos:
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Local Time:
9:59 AM
Birthday:
Jan 1, 1983 (Age: 41)
Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
Toronto
Occupation:
Something fun -- trust me

dollchloe

Member, 41, from Toronto

Tng Toronto organizer. Proudly submissive. Lover of D/s and high protocol. A tad dorky and fan of learning and experiencing new things. Jul 19, 2019

dollchloe was last seen:
Sep 26, 2023
    1. KinkyCouple4/28
      KinkyCouple4/28
      Will you trade a sheep for an ore? Sorry couldn't resist:P
    2. dollchloe
      dollchloe
      Tng Toronto organizer. Proudly submissive. Lover of D/s and high protocol. A tad dorky and fan of learning and experiencing new things.
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  • About

    Birthday:
    Jan 1, 1983 (Age: 41)
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Toronto
    Occupation:
    Something fun -- trust me
    Your chastity role:
    • Submissive
    • Sissy
    • Slave
    • Maid
    Chastity devices:
    The Vice - Small - Pink
    Chastity resume:
    Locktober 2018 - First time doing a full month, without the device coming off. Can't wait for a chance to do that again.
    To Quote a friend I leave this as some food for thought.

    "This is my vanilla life, as much as my vanilla life is my kinky one. You really think there's an on-off switch?"

    TL:DR Profile

    Dorky lifestyle submissive. Organizer for TNG Toronto. I believe is in D/s relationships and am highly career driven.
    Board and card games? Yes! Video games? Hell yes! Social life? Sacrifice it a bit for professional growth! 

D/s life? Wanting to grow, understand, and educate myself! If you want to get to know me? Message me, post on my wall or come say hi at our TNG munch in Toronto!
    Want to know me better? Read below!


    Besides posting exclamation marks at the end of all my answers to my own questions I love to chat, and get to know people. Can’t wait to chat!I feel like before I get to the “nitty gritty” I should preface a few things. I get it… I know that some see a preface as moment of weakness to give the writer (me) the opportunity to imply a excuse to everything written after the preface. I would be lying if I said I never used a preface as just that but instead I write this going beyond that notion. My preface? It is a chance to tell my friends, friends of friends, and anyone else that I have the intention to use the same format that I used a few years ago. I use this format not because it was a “easy” solution but because after a lot of thought it was a outline that worked to reprint my thirst for knowledge and my love for kink. It was a challenge to write, and it was a beautiful (to myself) conclusion of my exploration (at the time) and a path I want to stay on. It reflects my vanilla life who I let in, while expressing my kink lifestyle at the same. Most of all I find it (as the writer) the almost perfect way to sum up the many different parts of me. That all being said I write the new/edited version of my life as a submissive male.

    Math has been a passion in life. I love looking for “x” or as other see it as the variable. I’m driven to understand the variable. I’m driven to know what brings me to the variable. I’m driven towards the tantalizing understanding that the variable could be many different things. Most of all my thirsts, passion, and urge to understand “x” drives me in more ways that this profile can explain. Why do I write this prologue to what I am sure will end up to be a “lengthy” profile?

    I write this because as much as I don’t want to admit it; i am a a snob. I try not to be that but it is something I have embraced partially. I embrace myself as a “snob” because I look for people in my life who pushed themselves past “the norm.” I am interested in people, friends, and acquaintances who continue to seek knowledge no matter what the cost maybe. I use the the word “snob” because I know what it has taken me to get where I am at; and I am not about the degrees but more about the passion and love one can have. I can tell you that I would not be the quarter of the person I am without the passion and love that drove me to completion.

    What is my goal?

    The goal of the profile is to establish myself. To do that I was once taught like most that the five w’s are the answer to life. Understanding that, and my passion for “x” the equation I am looking to solve looks like

    Here is the thing about writing something like this; its like a long winded equation to figure out what ‘x’ equals. In our case ‘x’ is represented by a good and complete profile.

    Lets look at some of the variables in our profile equation. Obviously you need to look at some of the basics like who, what, where, when, and why. Which means using that logic:

    w1 + w2 + w3 + w4 + w5 = x

    Lets start by stating those variables:

    w1 = Who

    So who am I?

    My fundamental core is that I am a submissive male. I am sure you the reader may know why that is the lead? The answers is because it is one of three value the make me…me. As I mentioned in a previous sentence I am a submissive male. I have a love for D/s, high protocol, gender bending, and crossdressing. All of these establish part of who I am at a core level.

    Despite at my core I identify as a sub, I am career driven, passionate about my friends, continuously have a thirst for knowledge and love every single moment of who I am.

    Most recently I am a TNG Organizer. I say this with a level of pride as I understand the level of trust that comes with that title and the obligation I have to put a lot of the TNG community before myself. I want to help others, not as a submissive (despite this maybe be the case as well) but as someone who has been new, someone who has looked at a munch and instead of coming in taken a walk around the block. Most of all I want to be able to express and pass on the things that I have learned form others on to the next generation Taking on TNG as a organizers is a new pressure that I embrace, love, and want to honour in a way that this profile would fail to express. Truthfully as a organizer I am scared. I am scared not because of the knowledge I have obtained, the pressure that I I want to live up to but, however more importantly to the person I replace, and the fear of being shy in a moment I shouldn’t be. I express this because I feel that my fears make me who I am as much as my loves, interests, and passions.

    I’ve spent a lot talking about who I am from a kink mentality and a lot less from a vanilla stand point. I am a dork. I know some people use that term in a “negative,” way but I do not believe that. I have a love for the mentality of “take what I do seriously but not myself.” The truth of the matter is I love video games, board games, and getting involved with conversation that revolve around fantasy, science fiction, and comics (this is a area I’m the least strongest but LOVE listening about). Like most I have a love/hate relationship with a wide range of board games like Settler’s of Catan, Risk, and Monopoly. I am competitive. I love to live in the world of competition. If you want to play squash or risk with me I will hate to lose and love to win, however will always enjoy the time spent with my competitor(s). My family means the world to me! A VERY near second are my friends. I am fierce when it comes to defend my family, and friends, and am trusting to allow people in to my life. You break my trust once; well you’re out of my life since I only give that out once and there is no second chance.

    I am a professional. My job is one of my top passions in life. I am proud of my life goals, and most of all my professional ones. I love the career path I am on since it continuously pushes me and aligns me with “living outside my comfort zone.” Get to know me, earn my trust, and I will open up to you. I want to know about friend’s passions, and goals. I love to hear what drives people in kink, exploration, and vanilla life.

    This is who I am. All these factors make up “w1” This is who I build the algorithm and equation of myself and this is who I feel the most “in balance” with.

    After stating the ‘who’ we need to ask ourselves what support do we have to that statement? The ‘What’ gives us a firm understanding of who we are? Looking at that we need to move on and state what the ‘what’ represents.
    .

    w2 = what

    What makes me a submissive? I love to give. I know this at first may seem like a cop out answer, but honestly it is the easiest way of explaining the complication of what I am, while reinforcing the “who” variable. Let’s take this back a few steps and talk about what element of myself loves to “give.” I am attracted to satisfying others over myself. I am a masochist (which I will explain what that means later). What I am at the fundamental core is someone who lives to exist out side their comfort zone, while meeting a alignment of passion of who I am (I know complicated.. right?).

    So let’s go back to the first element of what I am. I am a masochist. I have love for needles, heavy impact play, pushing myself not only for myself but more importantly for my partner(s). I have a weirdly scared love for trying new things that i love to hate. When I look at myself as a masochist this is what I am. The masochist in me is a support and catalyst to who I am. The masochist in me wants to and loves to give to my partners. This can be a play partner, a secondary partner, and primary partner. The masochist in me, loves to enjoy what my partners want to explore. This is a element that as I mentioned is a catalyst to myself and the submissive that I identify as who I am.

    On the rarest of occasion and with the VERY right person what I am, and can be is a switch. This is something I don’t talk about offend, it on the RAREST of occasions it conflicts with the submissive that exists 99.99% of the time, and how I can be pushed as a service top i something I do enjoy. Why do I talk about this? I’ll save that for another variable, but what do I want to identify on this note I’ll try to go in to without out creating a level of confusion. Would I call what I am (on the most rare occasion) a sadist? I don’t now. This can be seen in a silly way, but there is a very remote part of me who does identify this. This can be driven as “one who loves to throw another “under the bus”” to one who enjoys the love of creating a uncomfortable situation to others who seek it and I “click” with.

    I feel in a way I am “neglecting” the “what” element and for a brief second focusing on the “who” I should state that when I say what I am “can” be a switch, please understand that this is .01% to 1% of who I am. I have neglected this part of me, and it is only until recently I have felt it grow enough to even talk about it.

    At this point I should take the time; take a step back, and talk about what make some tick beyond kink.

    What am I beyond kink? I am someone who cares about family and friends. I am fierce when it comes to both of them and I am someone who puts them in front of myself. My profession drives me, sculpt me,and pushed me to be the person that I am versus the person I am want to be.

    What am I? I am shy, am curious, I am someone who is embarrassed often, and loves every second of it. I live in fear of letting down friends, family, and partners, but this isn’t caused by their living support by instead my own pressures and worries.

    I am genderfluid and love any opportunity I get to express myself. I love dressing up whenever I get the chance. I have not until recently been able to identify as this being a fundamental core of what I am. I am lucky to have friends, and partners that not only encourage, but instead embrace, love, cherish, and push me to be more of these things, and offer love, and compassion as I take a walk down this path.

    What else can I be, and what else do I want to be? This question is easily answered with my (very few) switch tendencies. As I have said in the past when it comes to “who” I am 99.9% of the time a submissive and a slave (to the right partner). However what else I can be is a switch. I feed off the passion and enjoyment potential partners get.

    At this point I should stop focusing on myself and talking about others. That being said What makes me tick? As I mentioned in my past profile I’ll say it again; driven, confident and well rounded individuals. I believe in surrounding myself with people I want to look up to, and hopefully they feel the same about me. I find intelligence sexy way over looks. What I am, is someone that wants to learn from friends, or partners. I look at (as I mentioned above) people who want to grow. So what makes me tick has everything with attitude, and I can’t wait to meet more people who embrace this.

    The ‘what’ helps us verify the who, It is the support structure of the previous variable and continues to help us obtain ‘x’ The ‘where’ is positioned in to our statement to give readers an understanding of both the physical where and the emotional where. Where is the writer located? Never fear dear reader, I know the where is kindly positioned above my name on this page, but lets be safe and state the obvious.
    .

    w3 = where

    It would be fair to start by the most traditional sense of the term “where.” Let’s start with proximity. I am a Torontonian. Toronto is a city that means a lot to me. It is a city I learned to find myself in a vanilla way, and it taught me the first steps I needed to be myself. This city I have a love for, as I said; it taught me to be myself. Toronto taught me to look past the person I thought I “had” to be, and taught me to become the person I am, and wanted to be. Toronto taught me how to get over some of the ways people had “told” me I had to be. I learned to act on impulse (at a vanilla level), and in doing so I built a level of confidence that caused me to become part of the BDSM community (despite acknowledging that).

    Ottawa. When I think of where I think of my involvement with the Ottawa community. Ottawa by location is credited for 70% of the reason I am the person I am today. I am involved in the Ottawa community. I was lucky while on my path to find the people I found in Ottawa. When I talk about the “where” variable Ottawa is one of the biggest factors to me. I love Ottawa, I love the people of Ottawa, the community in Ottawa, and I thank Ottawa for helping me become the person I am now.

    When I look at the two cities Toronto got me to Ottawa, and Ottawa got me back to Toronto. The two cities in my life are symbiotic, and have made me in to the person I am.

    In conjunction with the ‘where’ one needs to ask themselves ‘when’ as well. In writing a profile the ‘when’ is suppose to give the reader the opportunity to identify where the writer is coming from. It is suppose form a bond between reader and writer. Lastly it helps give some background to where the writer is coming from.
    .

    w4 = when

    So let’s talk about “when”. It’s been ten year’s since my first event. Honestly if you don’t believe check out my journal entries.

    When I look at ten years, I look at all the amazing things I’ve learned. I look at the mistakes I made, the unfortunates I’ve seen, and the amazing moments I’ve been part of. When I look at these elements of “when” I don’t regret any of them.

    When has taught me about swallowing my shyness, and has caused me to focus on more important things. When has taught me to express myself more, and continuously reinforces my urge to defeat my insecurities.

    When goes beyond kink. I’ve been a professional and a student at the same time for over a decade. When has taught me how to grow, and is the greatest strength and humbling factor to the “who.”

    If you ask me about when I started to identify as a submissive, a BDSMer, a professional, a student, a academic, and overall someone who re-approached their whole life… honestly just ask. The thing about identify the “when” is that deposed it being one of my shorter views, it is something I can talk about in length forever, and hope that others learn from my strengths, but way more importantly learn from my weaknesses.

    After looking at the ‘when’ one can start formulating the ‘why’ Our writer needs to explain the points he has written out before his audience, ties things in and leaves our reader with the understanding that ‘x’ is near.
    .

    w5 = why

    I feel when it comes to this question I still think of a test I had to take in high school (that’s right I’m bring this back old school). I remember this personality test telling me that I forever will seek a job that nurtures “Why.” At the time I neglected this, I picked a degree that went against, this and failed to embrace part of me that has always been there. I knew of my thirst for why before taking the test, but once a computer program verified what I already knew I took many years fighting the person I am.

    Let’s start with a obvious question, and that is “why write such a lengthy profile?” Honestly its because I strive to be transparent, and fear to hide things from people. I write this profile with as much transparency as possible since I want people to know the person I am.

    I’ve written a lot about living outside of my comfort zone, and I have been fortunate to have people ask me why I believe in the idea that life begins outside of your comfort zone. The truth to this has a very simple answer, and a complicated one. The simplicity of the answer is I have been fortunate enough to have a few life lessons to teach me the value to life. I have been lucky to have friends push me to a level of bliss beyond my comfort area, and lastly I am lucky that all the misfortunate, and fortunes have lead me to understand that I like to live in the area of discomfort. I will complain about it, but at my core I like it. Discomfort through friends, play partners, and partners teach me a lot about myself. So to answer why I enjoy living, and playing in a place of discomfort it is simply because I get to learn more about myself.

    Once the variables are explained it is easy for our writer to draw a conclusion; ‘x’ in this case. ‘X’ is a product of each variable put together to give the reader an understanding of the writer and the profile.
    .

    x = the final points

    I look back at a decade of kink. I look back at a decade not only of kink, but as self growth. When I look back at the last decade I am forced to reflect. I look back at the mistakes I have made. I look back at the choices that were not well thought out. I look back at the friends that went from being “people I thought were cool to chat with,” to “kink friends,” and lastly to “friends.” Theses friends are people I want to emulate, they are people that inspire me, they have wisdom that teach me, and lastly keep me in check when my ego gets the best of me. These friends, are people I strive to honour by taking there wisdom and applying to myself, and passing it on to new people I am lucky to get to talk to.

    When I look at the points written above, it reinforces who I am. these points make me want to grow as a submissive, as a switch (sometimes), and more importantly as a role model.

    Everything I’ve talked about has reminded me why I don’t take myself seriously, but instead take what I do seriously, and the people I do it with.

    So my dear reader that has made it this far I say thank you. I say thank you if we don’t know each other because you have taken the time to read and understand me. I say thank you to the friends that made it this far, and I say without your support I am not a fraction of the person I am today. To anyone new reading this I say keep your head in the game, ask questions, and you’ll meet the right people.

    I guess that’s it. My “x” is nothing but a sum of all theses things. If you made it this far all I can say in the most humbling way is thank you.

    It is here the reader has a firm understanding what ‘x’ is but if they still had questions they should just ask.
    .
    ~w

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    This is my vanilla life, as much as my vanilla life is my kinky one. You really think there's an on-off switch?
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