Do ruined orgasm count against you?

I'd say Mochi should experiment and see what she likes best.

 

I think there is more to it than just the amount of time between 2 orgasms. It could be the cumulative effect of multiple orgasms as I've found. When I've gone several weeks - 3 or more - between orgasms, i can usually have another one 2 weeks later with no negative effect. But if I stack up those 2 week orgasms, then I start to get messed up. It was after i had 5 orgasms, one every two weeks, that I had problems recently. But everyone's mileage may vary.

I think a goal of one every 4 weeks with an occasional extra one thrown in once in awhile would work for me. Unfortunately, my wife has decided that a month should be my minimum. So I probably am looking at single digit O's per year going forward.

 

Sorry!
My advice to her: experiment, observe, take control. You may be lucky and hit full subspace in days instead of weeks.

If she goes to long term right out of the gate she might be giving up the carrot for the stick (metaphor Not pun). Seriously, my wife used the prize of my orgasm as powerful motivation before she finally concluded she no longer needed the carrot.

As you said, everyone is different.
Have fun!

 

We are once again aiming for 12 total orgasms this year for Mr A

 

It's all about what works for you Take on board what you read online and adjust it so it works for you
Your game your rules so to speak
Personally I'm not sure what's worse to be unlocked with a ruined orgasm Or unlocked teased denied and lock back up with out
Both highly frustrating but incredibly sexy

 

Messed up = suffering from hormone drop. This manifested itself in feelings of depression, loss of motivation, focus and attentiveness, and in an increase in obsession on release and my own sexual pleasure. The latter was because I was wanting to self medicate due to the hormone drop.

My wife teases me frequently. She's learned my other erogenous zones well and how to stimulate them. Early on we would use a vibe on my cage occasionally but she's gotten so good with my other body parts especially my nipples that she can work me into a lather easily. Her teasing me is the best foreplay for her to get worked up and then she's "silly putty" in my hands to bring her to orgasm either manually or orally. That furthers my arousal and usually requires several minutes of snuggling for me to come down.

We managed the 90 day initial lockup with that approach and it's when she became so skilled at her teasing techniques. She also learned she didn't need to give me an orgasm to keep me happy. When we finished the initial lockup, I was wired to find my pleasure from her hands. She then found giving me orgasms exciting and enjoyable because they were so explosive and I couldn't control myself. But her interest waned when we got in a rhythym of every two weeks. We both needed a "reset" after that.

 

BTW - we don't do ruined orgasms. She has no interest in them. It's either a full O or no O.

 

I'm not normally allowed to remove my locking ring (we just turn it round 180 degs) which makes it easier Few minutes and I'm soft enough to be caged again with cuming

 

yes it dose. for some folk

 

Whether they count or not is up to my Mistress.

 

Exactly! She keeps it really simple! And there is something beautiful in the simplicity. I only get erections when I'm released for pleasure. My erections belong to her also. That makes them incredibly amazing. I want them to last for awhile and enjoy our physical intimacy as long as possible.

Because my releases are so limited and I get frequent teasing, I think full orgasms don't affect me as much as others. I don't get that satiated feeling afterwards. I'm ready to go again in a few hours so it's really important that I'm caged again right afterwards otherwise the night is extremely difficult.

 

Agreed

 

The initial 90 days seemed to last forever!!! Time slowed down significantly. The days on the calendar just crawled by. I found it really interesting because it seems like life goes faster the older you get. But this really changed that. I think it was because I / we were living in the moment once again like you do when you are younger and everything is new.

The only releases I had were for cleaning / grooming and back then I was still doing those weekly. I realized near the end that my hygiene routine was working and went for 30 days without a release. But things were getting a bit itchy around the base ring so I need to shave more often. My hair growth has excelerated with all of the teasing as my testosterone levels have returned to what they were in my 30-40s.

My wife and I continued to be intimate which included lots of teasing but since PIV is out of the question for us, we never removed the cage. The 90 day lockup really helped her to realize she didn't need to feel guilty about releasing me. One of the reasons we did it was I had cheated with a vibrator after having too many orgasms, suffering a drop, etc over a one month period. I think the combination of things helped her settle in to the lifestyle.

She still was enjoying physical intimacy like never before in our marriage. I read a book about denying orgasms for both men and women and learning Karezza. But she really had no interest in that. She wasn't willing to give up her orgasms. And that makes me happy. I became much more focused on her orgasms.

We were still early in our chastity experience and she didn't want me bringing it up all of the time. So we didn't talk about it a lot. I told her I wouldn't bring it up except for a once a month check-in. If there were things I wanted to discuss or share with her, I made some notes so I wouldn't forget. She was free to raise the topic in discussion at any time but that rarely happened. I spent the time reading a lot and learning about how to build emotional intimacy in our marriage. We had a LOT of in depth discussions about our relationship over dinners. This produced a dramatic change in our relationship. We really became very transparent about everything in our lives. We communicate much better now. I just realized something yesterday that used to happen all of the time that hasn't happened in the past year.

During that 90 day period, I found my body was becoming more sensitive to her touch. I knew my ears were sensitive in the past if she kissed or tongued them. And my nipples become a pleasure center. But so many other places started to really sizzle when she would run her fingertips over them. I reached a point that I craved cuddle time in bed. And we both quit wearing anything to bed so that was enjoyable. And since my pleasure was off the table, I began to focus on learning what she liked and didn't like from a foreplay perspective. She is NOT as sensitive to touch as I am, so I found the limited areas of her body that she enjoys to have caressed. And she prefers more holding, cuddling and spooning and not a LOT of hand activity. She gets most aroused from teasing me and I became more responsive. She enjoys hearing me murmur and moan and seeing me squirm.

She really began to settle into my behavioral changes. So many of my negative behaviors disappeared. But the few times that they did reappear were signifivant and very noticeable even if they were minor ones. Those became topics for discussion, something we would have swept under the rug previously and not discussed.

She really enjoys our physical intimacy now. The things that are typical for post-menopausal women are non-existent for her. She gets aroused by emotional connectedness, snuggling/cuddling, and teasing me. RARELY do I ever need to pull out the lube because her body is responding and producing natural lubricant. But it's taken focused attention to non-bedroom activities to make that happen. Her tease & denial of me keeps my hormones going so I'm very much motivated to figure out her love languages and "speak" them to her.

 

The only person counting my orgasms is me. She gives them to me when she feels I’m due, deserves one, or just plain wants to see me curl my toes.

She used to do ruined orgasms, and when done properly, was a very ingenious way of relieving me of pressure and cum without losing any of my desperation or neediness.

She also found that they can be tricky, and taking it one second over the threshold, turns a needy sub into a satisfied limp man that has just cum. It doesn’t really matter if you stop touching it when you spurt…it still has the same outcome. Refractory period, and all of my desire is gone. That is not what she wants at all. The risk wasn’t worth the reward and soon she gave up on them.

So I would say that a proper, bleeding out spill of a ruined orgasm doesn’t count, but if tour dick gets soft after…it’s a regular orgasm and counts.

I actually would get a bit disappointed when that happened on accident…it resets everything, and wasn’t a great orgasm.