I was writing a post for my journal, but honestly, nothing really happened yesterday. This is just another extract of a day in my boring chastity life… but upon reflection it is as defining as a day can be when considering the alternatives. There’s a moral in this post. A consideration to be had. Enjoy reading. A day in the life of being locked. Day 268 Last full orgasm: 19th June 2022 Yesterday was an odd one. Due for a meeting rather early in the morning, I’d actually had more sleep than on a typical work day, more or less; I’d been in bed cuddling with my wife longer in the morning but my sleep was broken. The last few days of impure, filthy denial my wife has been throwing my way has made its way back into my dreams. I awoke after a vivid recollection of my first ever handjob, my dick yearned for release as it throbbed at the walls of the cage. Although sexual in nature, it wasn’t a pleasurable dream, my first experience of ejaculating in front of another was anxious affair, the memories of my own concerns were more at life than my enjoyment of the situation. I think that’s fundamentally who I can be at times, I worry so much at times that I have to remember to relax and enjoy myself. Although, I know exactly who the perpetrator was on the day she didn’t so much enter my thoughts… as soon as I awoke I was thinking more clearly about how I feel when I cumming in front of my wife. Now, in the life of chastity, with so many instructions to do otherwise I get those same feelings. Anxious that my penis will do more and too quickly than it should! Being restrained while she goes to work on me helps, it relinquishes my responsibilities and I’m wondering if thats why my body does react so easily. I’m trying to wrap my head around it, but I can say one thing: it turns me on! I sense the feeling of arousal building and hold my wife tighter. After a short while she removed herself from bed and starting readying herself for work. I make the bed and got the children sorted before ironing a shirt for my meeting. Pointlessly now it seems as my work meeting didn’t happen. My car broke down and by the time it was sorted, which really didn’t take long at all as it was only a minor issue. I decided I’d just give it a miss. I’d already notified them I couldn’t attend, so why not? I messaged my wife: ‘I’m taking a me day, but it can be a you day if you want it to be. If there’s anything you want me to do?’ ‘No, just relax’ was her response, I’d been tireless over the recent days in ensuring her life was as easy as possible, she reciprocated now by taking my needs into account. I tried. With a free house, no children, no school runs, no chores I found my mind wandered drastically. The impure, filthy denial has taken its due course on my waking state too… I couldn’t sit down for thoughts wandering to illicit places. I ran an errand for my wife, taking the dog on my expedition and collecting a parcel from the sorting office. It wasn’t what I expected, it was her swimwear for our coming holiday. She’s already had some delivered and I was on the receiving end of some “how do these look” pictures. Incredible is the only description I could give. I worry how I will survive looking at her around the pool for a week. The parcel now sat on the bed and became a beacon of arousal, I’d soon be sent more pictures or better still have an amateur modelling show. My cock dripped… I had to get on with something else. I spent the day being more productive than I had in a long time! Pent up sexual energy is a great motivator!! The evening was enjoyable, her sister visited for tea. I’d already prepared our food and it was easily stretched to another plate. We chatted for hours and played games with the children, as she left late I tidied downstairs while my wife ran herself a bath. I made us a late cup of tea and took it in to her, more to enjoy the sight of my naked wife than any expectation that she would drink it there. “If you’re going to be a pervert, you can at least make yourself useful.” She said, as she lifted her leg and directed me to wash her feet. It’s simple acts of dominance like this that I find almost too enjoyable these days. She tried on her new bikinis, laughing at the effect they had and remarking how funny it will be when I’ve made a mess of my swim shorts on holiday. We laid in bed and started watching the new season of ‘You’ on Netflix. After some time laying in her arms I sense her breathing change. She’s asleep. As gently as I could I reached for the remotes and turned off the TV. “Don’t you want to watch anymore?” She asked sleepily. “Not without you, no.” I replied. She held me a little tighter with appreciation before rolling over and falling to sleep. …………… This seems like a strange post. Why the fuck did he write that? Well, I almost don’t know either! That was exactly how my Wednesday went… but why would anyone need to know that? I thought on it and decided it was a good time for some reflection, how things would be if I didn’t have my cage. My alternate reality, where thoughts of a bad handjob and a wrapped up bikini didn’t have such a poignant affect on my frustrations. If on day 17, rather than finding her inner strength and denying my release, my wife actually caved. Gave in. Our FLR never quite getting underway. ……….. Sliding doors Day 268 (if my wife had never caged me) Last orgasm 15th March 2023 The cold wakes me in the night, I’m mid-dream about my first love. She has her hands on my erect penis, inquisitively stroking me. I was nervous through this experience. It was a first. Although, at this point not a virgin this was the first time someone would witness as cum squirted from my penis. Despite the encounter with my wife just a few hours ago, I’m already at full arousal and ready to go. I look over to her, she’s asleep. I gently push the duvet upwards with my knees and give my crotch a little room. I don’t want her to hear the brushing of my arms as I gently take my desires into my own hands. It’s over quickly, I ejaculate into my palm and gently roll over to find something to clean with. My pyjama bottoms lay on the bed next to me, a suitable option. I wipe my fluids on them whilst making a note to put them straight in the wash the next morning. I take another quick glance over to my wife, she’s still restfully oblivious to me actions. The orgasm prevails with its neurological explosion, I feel the need to sleep quickly return and drift off once more. I’m eventually awoken by my wife switching the light on. Why does she have to do this every time I have a chance to get some rest? She should get dressed downstairs like I do and not be so selfish. Groggy, I roll the duvet over me and try to ignore the morning annoyances. After some time, banging around, arguments between her and the children I finally hear the door open and close. Silence. Finally. I get myself out of bed and enjoy the calm environment getting myself ready for my meeting. After sorting my car rather easily, I consider my next move. I message my wife to let her know of my trouble. Omitting the details of the easy fix. If she knows I have the day to myself she’ll expect me to do things for her. She never lets me have time to relax. I switch on the PlayStation for a bit of gaming. There’s no one online, obviously everyone else is actually at work. I leave the screen open hoping someone may sign on and instead begin scrolling my phone. It’s not long before the content no longer stimulates my mind and I start scrolling through Pornhub instead. I always appreciate watching something relevant to my current events, so today I find myself searching for ‘teen handjobs.’ Several videos later and over an hour has passed, finally I’m ready to bring myself over the edge. I waste the rest of my day watching the new episodes of ‘You’ on Netflix. As my wife will be home soon, and frankly I don’t need her ruining my lazy day I quickly tidy around in the kitchen and front room. There’s still a little time left in my ‘me day’ to squeeze in a little more pornography. I’m not as horny now and so I go straight in with my searches for something darker. A great day. No pressure. Just me chilling out. My wife arrives home and instantly ruins it with her mood, I attempt to tell her of the trouble with my car but I can see she is distracted, she doesn’t have time for my conversation so I offer my assistance. “Yeah, can you actually hoover the living room. My sister will be here soon!” She snaps. I roll my eyes and walk away to do as instructed. She could have told me she was coming before, I don’t know why she’s angry now! I spend the evening chatting to her sister while my wife cooks our tea, finally joining us when it is time to eat. My wife tells a story about how stressful her day has been. She looks a bit fed up, I wonder if she should look for a different job or something. She’s never actually happy, we only ever hear about how tiring it is. I’m thankful that her sister doesn’t stay too long, she has a tendency to leave later than anyone else which ensures no alone time for my wife and I. I might actually get to talk to her if she just drops the attitude. I go upstairs and kindly run us a bath, it’s a while before my wife comes upstairs as she’s been making the pack ups for the next day. “Don’t worry, I’ve run you a bath. You can chill out now.” I tell her, and enjoy watching her as she undresses. She strips to her underwear and leaves me alone in the bedroom. My thoughts turn to the material I’d been viewing throughout the day, finding myself aroused by what could occur in a few minutes I undress and join my wife in the bath. She acknowledges my erection a little playfully within her soapy hands, “Ok, but be quick tonight I’m a bit tired.” We’ve been on a hot streak of sex of late and it’s nice that she also doesn’t want that to end. It doesn’t matter how stressful life can be for both of us. My work life taking its toll on me, her long days, she still enjoys the intimacy we feel through penetration. The foreplay is brief, she lays in her favourite spooning position and reaches around and pulls me inside her, she’s not entirely ready so I ease my thrusts in gently. Starting shallow, my motion is slow, my penis extracts the fluids from within her as her arousal progresses. Now more lubricated I insert my full length, she moans with the pleasure from it while reaching for her wand. We enjoy this closeness with symmetry in our movements. My thrusts get harder as she brings herself closer to climax, stimulating her clitoris with her mains powered vibrator. Click. The vibrations stop, she’s not going to be fully satisfied tonight. That’s not unusual, she’s always found it hard to climax, and sex without experiencing her full orgasm is still enjoyable for her. I note her comments about not taking too long and ask her to get on all fours, I love taking her in the doggy position. Her ass looks incredible and the tightness of her vagina, I really don’t last much longer once it starts. I try not to go too deep as I know the deep feelings can make it uncomfortable for her. The tip of my penis caressing her inner walls, the image of the curve of her waist and the sight of her anus have me shaking in orgasm quickly, I rest on her as I climax. My breathing heavy. It’s been a good week! Other than Monday, she had taken our son to football practice and the minus temperatures had really knocked the sexual motivation from her, we’d had fun every night! Our sex life is incredible. She takes herself from the bed and waddles somewhat to her dressing gown, leaving me to clean herself in the bathroom. I love the sight of her clenching her inner thighs together, trying to avoid any semen escaping and dribbling down her legs. It’s a sight I treasure. ………. Ok, so the alternative reality no longer exists, but I couldn’t have given a truer account of how that day would have panned out. I find myself almost embarrassed now. Selfishly disconnected to her needs, but pleasure in it for me nevertheless. So this post. This pointless drivel. It has reminded me to enjoy my frustrations and thank my wife for obliging in my denial! I’m a better person for it. Our life and our relationship has improved drastically. Will I ever regret giving up my orgasms? Hell No!!
Thank you. I was today years old when I actually realised that my masturbation and sexual appetite was actually a problem within our relationship. I’d pity those who only got sex once a week. I mean it was written in secrets of a happy marriage. I sent that to my wife to help her understand what I wanted and yet I skimmed over this without giving it any thought: ‘Male masturbation creates an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very selfish and self-serving way. As long as men have access to masturbation, they never truly have both feet invested in a relationship. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it boosts his mood, energy, and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you.’
This was a great post! It made me do some thinking and imagine what a recent 24 hours would have been like prior to chastity. I got half way thru writing it out and was able to think thru the other half (pre-chastity). It was very sobering. But I came to the realization that while it was a valuable exercise for me, it really wouldn't be of much interest to the community. Sometimes we need reminders of what we were like prior to chastity to help us to continue to move forward. Thanks for the thread & post @IB-Chaste !
I wasn’t sure if anyone would want to read about my day either, but you’ve seen my journal, when has that ever stopped me? I just prattle on . I honestly almost didn’t post this myself. There’s something about the man I used to be that makes me a little uneasy. Was I really that inconsiderate? I really was! It’s almost shameful. So, I definitely had mixed feelings, but there was something in the little changes that made me want to share. Sometimes it appears that a chastity cage is a magic implement. It changes us. It improves our relationships. It gives a greater sense of satisfaction to our partners. It makes us a better person. It works on so many levels… but why? How can it do all this? It’s not possible?! In my case it was. It did it through minor changes to my habits, which created subtle changes to my behaviours. It made me consider what exactly my wife wanted me to do for her in her day to day life, which gave me a greater insight into what she goes through, what she wants and who she is. In learning this (and I’m still learning) she changed her reaction towards my behaviours, and in turn became more understanding of my needs and what exactly I am capable of. It helped build mutual respect. There’s so much more that I could prattle on about… Basically, it was the collective subtle changes that really ensured the magic of chastity improved our relationship.
I couldn't agree more with you although I think the effects might have been a little more profound for me. I became so much more self-aware and able to listen & communicate with my wife that I began to recognize flaws in my personality and behavior. That was unsettling! Coming forward and admitting I was cheating via porn and masturbation required me to become transparent with her. This opened the door to so much intimacy that was totally lacking. I was subtly aware of my inadequacies. And that grew as I became dissatisfied with our life together. That drove me to find solutions and chastity became a necessity to overcome my weakness. It was definitely part of the fulcrum that tipped the scale heavily in the other direction but certainly not the only thing. Uneasy? Inconsiderate? Shameful? - Absolutely!
I couldn't agree more with both of you. I sometimes ponder...is chastity/cage necessary? On the surface it seems like a gimmicky toy that is more of a kinky distraction than a practical tool. I did basically the honor method for a year prior to using a cage. It was not easy, but I held fast for the most part. It would not have worked long term. I didn't understand and wasn't emotionally or mentally ready for the underlying growth I needed to do. That all came in conjunction with chastity. Chastity is hugely symbolic, and forces communication, which I otherwise would have not had the courage to initiate. It is also enough of a deterrent to make me think twice about 'cheating'. One brain knows I don't want to, but lizard brain (devil on the other shoulder) says "you know you want to, it will feel really good. It'll take the pressure off, relieve the stress, etc". That stops me and makes me think about it. It would kill my energy, pull away my focus on her, deprive her of my desire and attention, which she deserves and should be focused on her. Also with the honor method, I was still so wrapped up in chasing the orgasm and my wife feeling guilty about denying, I would orgasm way too often (on average weekly). That's not nearly enough time to shift focus on her, learn how to control my sexual energy and really get into it. And for her to learn me and realize the impact of the 'drop'. And, as you say @littleguy3, being able to be totally honest about my habits and behavior has let me relax into a new level of honesty and thus intimacy. It's so great to be able to say (as I did this morning) that I'm happy to have a cage, because over the past couple of days it has helped me stay in check through some stress that would have otherwise had me "misbehaving". And we could talk it through together. No shame, guilt, hiding it...in fact, lots of support! It's interesting to think we are where we are as a society or civilization, to drive the need for this. What we are taught (men and women) as normal, chasing the dopamine, masculinity and femininity out of alignment, poor communication skills, guilt and shame, we need tools that are going to help us heal, learn and grow.
It's a little less symbolic and a little more practical for me. I need the deterrence. If I was able to slip out masturbate and slip back in without her knowing.... I don't want that temptation. It's weird, but it actually makes me feel SAFE! That van be true with chastity if you are released too often as I've found out. That's what I've been dealing with this week. I'm feeling the same way.
Great post It's amazing how easily we forget about the differences between how we behave now and how we might have pre-chastity.
Symbolic in the sense that it is our choice to be in it, and we can stop at any time. I agree, it is a practical, physical deterrent, but because we want it to be. It is a reminder and a physical step we would have to deliberately bypass to 'cheat'. Me too, makes me feel safe! it's an interesting feeling and thought that it does that. I explained that to my wife and she simply cannot relate. I agree, releases too often in chastity cause the same effect.