Chastity Submissives Need to Be Able to Escape

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Caro-Kann, Mar 15, 2023.

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  1. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    It is important to acknowledge the physical or psychological health toll that device chastity could have on the submissive. I think many submissives look for a Mistress that could be cruel or sadistically imposing in her demands on the chastity sub - in this case, we are talking about somebody that has more of a propensity towards "bitchiness". We see this a lot more with Mistresses that have ideological tendencies towards the "female supremacist" branches in feminist ideology. When dealing with Mistresses that lean more strongly into the "bitchy" categories then, it is vital that the chastity submissive knows how to escape the prison these bitchy Mistresses would keep their victims in forever.

    For example, a well fitted device, I do not believe it is easy to slip out of, however a plastic device, a screw driver can be taken to the chastity cage and help the submissive escape. With steel cages also, a pair of bolt cutters can be used to remove the lock. Also female supremacist bitches may look for new methods of making chastity inescapable so submissives need to help each other to make this more difficult to impose. And o-ring gags can be used to force a chastity submissive into performing oral or sucking on a dildo when they don't want to, so these men shouldn't trust their Mistress if they ask them to put one of these on voluntarily and stay away from tasers too for that reason. It is recommended that chastity submissives look for nicer, more gentle femdom types who may consider themselves allies to the masculinist cause.
     
  2. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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  3. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    @IB-Chaste
    I don't think that is a fair assessment.
     
  4. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    What!?!?! Lol :) I’m pretty sure we’re all consenting adults here, of which the majority of us asked our partners (who have partners) to lock us and for this lifestyle :)
     
  5. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    Consent is not freely given if it cannot be withdrawn.
     
  6. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    How cannot it not be withdrawn, anyone is free to walk away from a relationship at anytime.
     
  7. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    If you are locked in a cage and she will not give you the key.
     
  8. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    I have a behind bars belt, it’s a serious belt. I also have a garage full of tools and if it became necessary to get out of it for whatever circumstance I could. If a sub doesn’t like a particular mistress he’s trying to establish a relationship with then he should walk away. The only thing controlling him…. Is him.
     
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  9. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    @WWSUB
    We have to take into consideration some women are not what they seem at first glance, I think it's only fair for the masculinist chastity submissive to be cautious.
     
  10. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    @Caro-Kann
    What is it that you like about chastity and what is your drive for it? Is your key being held by someone currently? In your mind what role should the woman play when holding your key?
     
  11. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    WWSUB-you may be wasting your time trying to give your opinion to the closed minds on this site, there seems to be a small group here that operate in the manner if you do not agree with them you are a troll, if you do not fit in to the way (they) some think here you are the troll, I personally am with you, free thinking minds make this world free, Thank you for your input.
     
  12. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    Is it "free-thinking" to state that anyone who does not agree with "the group" is a "troll"? Maybe you should revise your comment there...

    I've said this before that the problem with conflating female supremacy with femdom is that it does not account for the submissive's desires. Saying that submissives are humans with desires are their own makes one a "bottom" and not a "twue submissive" undermines the ability of the male sub to freely negotiate and communicate with his mistress what their mutual interests are. This is to say that it is unhealthy for roleplay to extend into lifestyle submission, as is the case with permanent chastity.
     
  13. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    Depends on if you see chastity as a lifestyle or as a game. Chastity and submission is part of my life and part of our relationship, being my wife’s submissive is what makes me feel good and I love serving her. It’s not only a personal choice but the need to submit and serve is also ingrained in me. This lifestyle will more than likely be lifelong for us but I’m not to fond of the idea of permanent chastity and never being allowed to O again. If that were something my wife was interested I would listen to her with open ears and if it was something she really wanted to try I would give it a trial run but it would be something that we would openly discuss and get a good understanding for what we want to try and what we want to accomplish.

    I think you’re putting the cart before the horse in terms of the things you’re concerned with in regards to chastity. It’s all about communication between the couple. If you don’t want to be with a female supremest then don’t, if she really thinks that way she will let you sooner rather than later as I’m sure she’d rather be with someone who shares her ideals. You are worried about a problem that doesn’t really exist and for those people that this does exist for choose it.
     
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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    or you can go to a fire station and ask the fireman to get the cage off you.
     
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  15. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    i have a different view of it. Roleplay does not have to extend into who we are as a person, nonetheless it is expressive of who we are as individuals and our innermost feelings. It is surely tyranny, not leadership to insist that roleplay must extend into lifestyle. I still see myself as assertive and a man outside the context of any prospective femdom relationship, a Domme cannot expect that my desire for submission must know no boundaries because that is not who I am as a person. People can make their own choices but when they define it as a norm in the femdom community, it becomes like a tyranny that we are all forced to adapt our preferences towards if we ever want to find a partner.
     
  16. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    I guess you have to view the forms of these different lifestyle just like politics. Everyone has their version and it’s up to the masses to determine what’s mainstream. No matter what you’ll always have something that you may not agree with and there will always be extremists. You just need to figure out where you fit in and what you want to explore.
     
  17. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    A cultural undercurrent can always undermine what's considered mainstream - it's just a matter of using the right words and phrases, combined with the right psychology and the right approach. I think the advocacy of heteronormative submission enables men to express their desires in a way that does not demand subjugation to cultural norms imposed by those that want to expand feminisation through this tyrannical version of contemporary queer theory (that goes beyond basic rights and protection for a wide variety of orientations and lifestyles). I have even heard that one of the reasons many women feel put off by this site is the idea that "certain things" must be "part and parcel" with chastity, or femdom more generally - kind of like a "package deal" of sexual kinks, psychological identification and orientation (imposed bisexuality and the "bonobo male" theory / reverse-conversion therapy some of the more ardent LGBT advocates tend to push through kink and hard line feminism).
     
  18. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    Yes it is true many women are put off by that but you must realize that it’s a lot of the men here that push that agenda. It seems like you’re blaming women for an environment that men created. My wife doesn’t like any of that package deal stuff you’re talking about and is put off by much of it as well. But again, that fantastical stuff that you see here is mostly a product of male imagination and sexual desire. How many books out there on the topic of female domination, femdom and supremacy have been discovered to have actually been written by men? There are many.

    The only “real” female supremests I know of are more about helping other women gain the respect they’ve earned and deserved for having to put up with a world full of toxic masculinity. Not about sexually dominating men, if they talk about dominating men sexually more than helping lift up other women then they’re just feeding the male fantasy and probably more interested in lining their pockets with your money versus truly dominating men or helping other women.
     
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  19. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Sounds like the start of a great gay porn movie. :D
     
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  20. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    Lol
     
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  21. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    It is pushed predominantly by men it seems, yet there are women who enjoy exploiting those tendencies, especially findommes and scammers. Having said that, the literature on femdom that is written by female authors often pushes the assumption that male submissives will either identify as feminist, or they will be nasty misogynists who "submit" because they believe that women as a gender are inferior, so "fetishise" being submitted by someone that is already "inferior". What is not identified here is that a wide array of non-feminists can legitimately exist in femdom contexts, including egalitarian masculinists who are aware of the male death toll by profession, violent assault and suicide and that "gender inequality" is not a thing in any real sense. Ambitions and competitive individualism can lead to anti-social tendencies (what you refer to as "toxic masculinity) in men, it's true - but optimum masculinity acknowledges that these things can also have great and productive outcomes for society.
     
  22. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    Or a way to get a serious ass-kicking for violating sexual boundaries.
     
  23. WWSUB
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    WWSUB Long term member

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    But here we are full circle, scammers are always going to be there to take advantage of the naive or willing. The scammers aren’t pushing an agenda, they are just riding a wave and trying to get the most out of it before moving on to the next scam and therefor are a small part of the femdom community and do nothing to actually promote the ideology. Also your reference to female authors writing about making misogynists submit or that the men willing to submit are feminist comes from a pure fantasy base written in the most extreme scenarios and is written for men to jack off to, nothing more. I really doubt you’ll find many women that will remotely have the same reaction as the men who read and enjoy this in terms of sexual fantasy. Also you don’t have to be a feminist to enjoy femdom, I’m sure many men aren’t, they just happen to enjoy being dominated by a woman.

    I can tell you after 8 years of living a chastity and FLR lifestyle I have become more in tune with women’s issues. Although our main goals were relationship enhancement and to increase our intimacy I learned so much more about what women go through on a day to day basis. Because of this my wife and I are that much closer. Sexism towards woman is a huge issue everywhere, even if men aren’t feminists all men should be aware of the struggles that women have to put up with on a daily basis because of men. Yes as men we have struggles to but not even close to the same degree as women. The toxic masculinity I’m referring to doesn’t have anything to do with competitiveness or ambition, those are good things as long as you’re not taking advantage of others. What I’m referring to in regards to toxic masculinity is male entitlement and what men think they’re owed by women. We’re all guilty of it at one time or another and it’s never been so evident as it is here at the mansion. Men who complain about what their KH’s aren’t doing for them after they hand over the key. Yes, both parties (D/s) should be satisfied and feel content in their decisions but the idea of chastity is to submit and hand yourself over and go for a ride. If at any point you don’t like the ride then get off (no pun intended). Chastity and submission is not for everyone, it takes commitment, compromise and communication. If you can’t handle those things in terms of a lifestyle or even just a weekend game then you should probably push it out of your mind until you can come to terms with what you want in life.

    I don’t understand what you’re getting at when you refer to Egalitarian masculinists and death toll by profession??? I’m also not sure where you were going in reference to gender inequality, can you be more clear?
     
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  24. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Lol I brought popcorn for anyone interested, all I know is that if I wanted out I'd get out but I'm happy where I am
     
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  25. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Long term member

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    You completely misinterpreted what I wrote. I said that female femdom lifestyle authors typically cannot imagine non-feminist submissives but for the context of misogynists *willing* to submit because they fetishise the idea of submitting to someone they believe is "inferior". So they do not have a broad understanding of egalitarian ideology, essentially because they believe that feminism is about equality. But traditionalist feminism has always been about identifying the differences between men and women and the idea that men should service the "fairer sex" as protectors and providers. So the only unifying theme of feminism has always been representation of the feminine identity: as activism, intersectional feminism is a bargaining tool designed to benefit women's collective self-interest. As an egalitarian masculinist, I represent men and discuss the male death toll by:
    • dangerous profession (working class/blue collar men only have limited possibilities of upgrading to white collar labour because they cannot afford qualifications on low salaries - and black men have less success in both academia AND white collar employment than black women)
    • violent assault (black men in America are more likely to die by gun-shot or knife attack, not just because of police brutality but because conservative politicians steal away political representation, community infrastructure, education and policing then blame the issue of violent assault, drug dealing and gang warfare in ethnic minority communities on race, rather than poverty. Similarly, feminists blame the issue on "toxic masculinity" and "patriarchal leadership" - as though female conservative politicians would not be doing the same thing to these neighbourhoods)
    • mental health (neurodivergent men are more likely to experience social, sexual or romantic isolation than neurodivergent women which can all contribute to mental health issues and the suicide rate from men is much higher than from women because the mental health network is more adaptive to female psychology and communication styles than it is for men. Yet the issues men try to talk about, they are more likely to castigated by therapists who employ "positive masculinity theory" which mainly acknowledges ambitious and competitive individualistic tendencies in men as being contributive towards social dysfunction, rather than ignoring that these behaviours can have positive and productive outcomes for society to (optimum masculinity theory), or that men's collective social issues are often caused by a plethora of economic, political and social issues (critical masculinity theory) other than androcentric norms or leadership (intersectional feminism).
     
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