New Keyholder to 24/7 Chastity

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Kerose, Feb 4, 2023.

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  1. Kerose
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    Kerose matt's keyholder
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    Last night my husband and I signed our first chastity contract after getting our new cage. I am so excited. we dabbled in chastity off and on for the last 6 months. We learned plastic is not for us. I prefer the metal and open so i can see it locked up.
    I finally started doing my research and found out basically while I was struggling with my day to day and the pressure I felt from my husband constantly sending me articles or websites and then him getting upset at me for not reading them and me getting upset at him for not only not helping me enough but adding to my daily stressors... I should have actually looked at what he sent me and applied to my day to day to make our life a FLR because this was his way of saying I see you struggling and I want to help but I think he needed to be told what to do to help and for some reason he I guess thought "well if she wants help she will ask". I don't know I just felt if you see i'm stressed out get off your ass and help.
    In the last week alone I have been a whole new women and he a whole new man. Communication is definitely key because I have opened up and talked to my husband more in the last week then I have in the last 4 months for sure.
    So thanks for letting me rant but I did come on here to ask a question too...
    I feel like we laid some good ground work and we left our contract open for addendum's as we both see fit but I guess my question is what do you wish you found out about FLR earlier in the relationship?


    Like I said I feel like we are in a good place and we are definitely opening up the lines of communication and I am loving it. But I am new and just getting into research so if you have any words of wisdom or advice to depart it is greatly appreciated.
     
  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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  3. Kerose
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  4. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Congratulations to exploring new and exciting things, it's awesome that you're enjoying being the lead in your relationship.
    I look forward to hearing about your experience as you grow into your role.
     
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  5. Kerose
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    The one thing I have learned from my limited research is communication is vital. My husband and I have always communicated but we have never communicated on this level ever. In the last week I feel like I have bonded more with him now than in the last 6 months or possibly ever. I am sure I will get out of this experience what I put into it but if this level of communication is all we achieve then I feel this FLR experience was well worth it.
     
  6. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    Actually ? Noting !

    We are both "Kopfmenschen" - tending to think too much over even small things. So even as we started our relationship as a FLR right from the beginning we started it really, really slow ! Certainly slower than we could have. That way the FLR had time to evolve over time.

    Of course there have been several things that did not work out well for us, but then it has been simply changed back. Thus there was nothing great I would regret. I would rather say it's even important to make small mistakes as they might teach you even more about you than just this specific thing would not be a good option for you.
    There is nothing wrong in learning from small mistakes and more important it is no weakness to change things back if they did not work out for the two of you.
     
  7. Wife of queens property
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    Hi!
    I really relate to your post. My fiancee and I are quite similar in the fact we have been dabbling with chastity for a few years, and around October last year we went all in with it, and he has been locked up permanently since then. I struggled in the beginning this time around, like you, with him sending me a lot of links and chastity memes, and like you I struggled with it because I felt like he was trying to tell me what to do, and I felt like he was trying to force the issue, which made me shut off. And i was also frustrated having to ask for help with the day to day stressors, thinking the same, he can see Im drowning, why cant he just help! But, like you, I eventually realised that he was just trying to communicate his needs, and try to help me understand things from his point of view. Communication really is key, and to give him his due, he did keep communicating with me, until the penny dropped my end. Communication is something he's always struggled with, I'm the overly emotional, talkative one, and we too have noticed a huge change in our relationship with how much better we are at communicating. The one thing I struggle with still, is that as great as he is, he is still quite fiesty and will sometimes back chat, or behave in a way I feel he shouldn't. I'm assuming that as time goes on and we continue our journey, we will settle more in our roles, and this will eventually become a thing of the past. It's nice to be able to share experiences with people who are going through the same as we are, it's all do interesting, and its nice to have this space to talk in, as this isnt something any of my friends knkw about. So thanks for the post, and good luck going forward! :)
     
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  8. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    Well...as someone who even on a scholl report got a note "Vertritt eigene Meinungen" (represents own opinions) I can relate to this topic in a certain way. ;)

    It is not easy to find a good way to communicate. Allegedly some subs are not even allowed to contradict their partner, other have only talks on eye to eye level on certain times while she is masturbating him. Things like this would not work for us because it would not feel like a real relationship to us.

    So we found a simple solution for us that sums up the only real rule in our FLR quite well "SHe has the last word in (almost) everything".

    What does that mean for our discussions, 'pestering' (not that I would ever do something like that...^^) etc. ? Well.... I can do whatever I want....unless she gives me to understand that she got enough. Everything after that will be at my own risk.And in such cases I am not a big fan of taking risks.

    For us that a good solution between a reasonable day to day life and the aspects of our FLR.
     
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