New here, just saying hi!

Hello, My fiancee, (aka the love of my life) and I have been playing with chastity for a few years now, and he's been encouraging me to join this forum for a while, so here I am!

We started off our kink journey with the Sub / Dom role, with me being his Sub, and then we began to explore male chastity after a year or so. This was new to both of us, having the roles reversed, and it took some getting used to the new dynamic, especially as I am by nature, a Sub. We've been playing around with him being locked in chastity off and on for a few years, with it always ending with him being a brat and the cage coming off until he'd had a few months rest, and was ready to start again. This obviously wasn't working for me, as the difference in his behaviour, Locked Vs Unlocked, was quite frankly, shocking. We're due to get married in 9 months, after having to push our wedding back from last year, and I put my foot down last year and told him it was all or nothing. He's now been locked for around 4/5 months, (he'll know the exact time frame) and he was let out for an orgasm when we hit 3 months. The drop in his behaviour afterwards was so bad, I don't think he's going to be allowed another O again anytime soon, even on our wedding night. I am open to the idea of ruined orgasms, and will be hopefully exploring this area with the help of this forum while we continue our journey. Thanks for reading!

 

Thank you, I honestly couldn't have him any other way after experiencing what he was like after being caged the first few times. I knew I had to put my foot down with it, and it's worked wonders for our relationship. It'll be very interesting to see where we are a year or two further down the line, I'm already doing things to him we'd never have dreamed of! It's a lot of fun, that's for sure!

 

Hi!
Honestly, I had no idea that it would completely change our relationship in the way that it has. He was very much the Dom from the get go when we discovered that we shared the same kinks, to the point I would be black and blue from spanking, and occasionally throwing up from rigorous face fucking wasn't unusual either. It was he who brought up the subject of a chastity cage, thinking it would be fun to play around with some role reversal. I have a pechant for shiny leather looks trousers, and have a substantial collection of New Rock boots, so he loved the idea of me wearing the boots while taking on a Domme role. I struggled with it to begin with, and I'm still not all the way there, but it didn't take long to notice a positive change in his behaviour once he was locked and denied, which made me more keen to continue in my new role. We lived apart at the time, and I definitely noticed a huge increase in how much he was messaging me during the day, and the devotion and attention towards me was really amped up. We were doing much shorter periods of chastity than we are now, he'd be locked up while we were apart, and I'd sexually frustrate him via txt all week, and then he'd be allowed out when we were together at weekends, and there was no question of him being denied his O's! Our dynamic was quite different when we started out. As it was more of a switching role than the FLR it is now. I was in charge of the cage and when he got to play, but when he was let out, he was then the Dominant. This did work for a little while, but there was a lot of topping from the bottom, and it was all based on his needs and wants, and what he got out of it kink wise, even though I was obviously enjoying it too, so I did get frustrated with the half in half out feeling of being the Domme, but also not being the Domme. We had a few occasions over the years where it was too much for him, and I'd have to take the cage off due to him being a brat, and my not embracing my new role as forcefully as I should have been, and waiting a few months for him to suggest using it again. But it was all a learning curve. Things really started to change after he introduced me to the concept of FLR after we moved in together, as the chastity was then focused on my wants and needs, and not his, and after a few weeks of FLR I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. He'd never been so attentive, loving, thoughful and communicative before, and I obviously loved that he couldn't do enough for me. After a few months of FLR he became burnt out as he was also working nights, and quit FLR. Things were really rough after that, as it was incredibly difficult for me to go back to a non FLR relationship after seeing the incredible change it had wrought on my fiancee. I think if I hadnt put my foot down with him a few months ago, and said it was all or nothing when he suggested we play with the cage again, we wouldn't have survived. The main benefit to the chastity that I've noticed is that Chastity helps us communicate a hell of a lot better, which is a huge deal for me. He's always struggled terribly with communication, so that's been a huge positive for us, as he's now able to communicate his thoughts, feelings and needs, wheras before he was basically emotionally shut down. I remember distinctly during a row about his total lack of emotional communication, (during one of our periods where he was out of the cage) He suggested the cage go back on to improve his behaviour, and I was really upset and angry, asking why did it take a chastity cage to get him to be the man I need him to be, why couldn't he just be that man without it. And he replied with "I don't know why it works!! But it just works for us!" It honestly took a while for me to stop taking it personally, and just embrace the fact that chastity is what works for our relationship, and I got past the feeling of resentment that I needed a 'tool' to get him to be the best version of himself. We've continued with our chastity journey, as it's brought us to where we are now, sharing all of this with you here. It has honestly saved our relationship, and we are still learning and evolving as a couple, so the future is very exciting.

 

The possibilities are endless. I'm having fun thinking if a wedding night plan

 

Do you have any tips for ruined orgasms? It's something I really want to try, but I'm worried about getting it 'wrong' and giving him a full one by accident.