Locking / being locked during tense times

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Eric Ny, Sep 27, 2022.

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  1. Eric Ny
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    Eric Ny Active member

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    I am wondering how Ladies and their servants handle locking on being locked in period where tensions ioccur n your couple?

    For KH Ladies:
    Is the "holding caged" a deeper layer of the relationship that is reinforced by tensions or rather viewed as a favor you do him, hence, when harmony is being questioned, caging becomes less relevant?

    For caged servants:
    Do you sometimes get so angry, sad or disappointed that you consider no longer wearing a cage for her?
    Or is the cage and wearing it a keystone of the relationship and is the last thing that will be questioned?
     
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  2. Deleted member 96384
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  3. Deleted member 96384
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    My wife is my KH, she knows that with any tense situation I think clearer when caged, so if the situation would arise that it was a disagreement between the two of us? I would guess she offers the cage to me and I gladly wear it. I think it’s because the caging and being servant has nothing to do with the disagreement subject that might take place. I am her servant and she is my mistress no matter what other things are going on.
     
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  4. Madam Darling
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    Verified Female

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    I don’t think about his cage often, in reality. When there is tension in our relationship, it doesn’t even cross my mind. If he says something or does something I don’t like, I’ll bring it up as a reminder that I could always make things more “difficult” for him. But it isn’t always in my head like I know it is for him.

    In the beginning, anytime we had tension, he would tell me he’d like out because he wasn’t really in the mood anymore. And I’d let him out, then he’d really pout for a couple of days. Once I started telling him that he’s wearing that for me, not him, he started to understand.

    Would you tell your wife you’d like to stop wearing your wedding band for a while because tension around the house has made you “not in the mood?” Same concept.
     
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  5. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    Before the cage, I could always go off "in the corner" and play with myself and enjoy an orgasm if I wasn't happy with her. And I often did being just fine with sleeping on the sofa. Now, I'm compelled to resolve differences immediately.

    And I'm not allowed to sleep outside our bed. I don't want to because there is no chance of pleasing myself without her and that would only further postpone my next release. The real physical pleasure now only comes from contact with her: cuddling, spooning, and teasing. I would crave this even if I was no longer offered release.

    I've learned that the reward center of the brain is not the part that manages rational thought and that this part of the brain can flood the rational, frontal lobe overwhelming it. This is why addicts can't stop themselves. This cage has rewired my brain to match the commitment I made when I spoke my vows to her on our wedding day. She also has come to realize that holding the key, teasing and denying me regularly is producing the behaviors in me that make her happiest and bring her the most pleasure.

    Could we accomplish this without chastity? Possibly, but not likely. Even if i could stop from touching myself whenever I got aroused, I would lose control during love making and teasing from the unrestrained physical stimulation to my penis. Then everything would start to fall apart like a house of cards and our relationship would go back to what it was before.

    For us, the spiritual component in our lives really drives our desire to do the right thing and strive to be selfless. When we've been at our strongest spiritually as a couple, we've been the most satisfied in our marriage. Because chastity has helped me be pure sexually, the spiritual aspect has thrived and our marital satisfaction has never been better.

    We are now 8 months into this chastity journey without any tension to trigger a discussion, desire or even a thought of removing the cage. I can't imagine the circumstances that will change that. It's really cool that we've reached a place where we are both so compelled to resolve any hard/hurt feelings so quickly because neither of us wants to suffer the consequences.

    I look forward to reading other couple's experiences on this thread to see how they are different or similar to our experience.
     
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  6. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    I can confirm that since we went to 24/7 we don’t really have disputes. If she’s down or snappy I’m more considerate to the reasons behind it rather than concerning myself with how it’s making me feel.
    As I’m not reaching continuously for my own sexual pleasure as a way of making myself feel better, when I’m down or upset I’m much more likely to talk to her about this now.
    We don’t really disagree with anything in our lives as she basically runs it and I accept that.
    I liken our relationship to working under multiple bosses… or worse, part time bosses on a job share. It never seems to work. People are pulled form pillar to post. Our relationship has worked better since we just went to one controlling party.
    That isn’t to say I would be concerned with voicing my opinion, but I haven’t needed to. As with any good boss she considers the needs of those below her during decision making.
    I don’t actually remember discussing having a FLR it last just sort of happened as a consequence of chastity.
     
  7. Her Beloved
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    Her Beloved Active member

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    I am not permanently locked. A couple of months ago my wife and I were having a multi-day fight (one of those where I shut down and stop talking). About 36 hours into it she said "okay, I'm going to lock you up." Only a few hours after the lock had clicked shut, I had worked out the problem and came to her ready to make up. For me, the cage brings clarity, and now my wife knows it is a tool she can use to help us both.
     
  8. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Reading between the lines I’d say by locking you up she was already over the argument and was giving you something you wanted. An olive branch. Maybe, it took you a little longer…
     
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  9. Her Beloved
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    Her Beloved Active member

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    She wanted resolution. I was still mad. I was not feeling kinky or attracted or anything having to do with chastity. But when the lock clicked, that all began to change. I think if she was offering me anything it was a way home.
     
  10. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    Same here! Before the cage I had a I don't need you attitude, I could take care of things myself and punish her. However, I don't think the magic is in the cage, but in the mindset!

    I have yet to have a "period of tension" since I put the cage on, but it has only been on for 9 months.
     
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  11. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I think Xena is pretty much the same as this. Being caged has never been an issue during our rare arguements.
     
  12. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    I must correct myself, we did have a period of tension months ago, it was old tension. But even old tension is getting healed in part to my new chaste mindset.
     
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  13. Just_Jake
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    I will have to agree with many of the above... since it became 24/7 our arguments or disagreements have lessened dramatically.
     
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  14. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    It makes no difference. Similar to some of the above, I'm in my cage always unless she lets me out, which is 100% depending on if she's in the mood. Us arguing just makes it less likely for her to be so and thus cage stays on.
     
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  15. Sunae
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    Sunae Active member

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    I might be not the Ideal Person to answer, cause I miss the practical Experience.
    But I have a Oppinion on it anyway, so like why not?
    I think it sould be just part of our Routine, if I fine the right he, or she to own me.
    Ultimatically theres nothing silly, or embarassing to a Kink. So why putting it suddenly into Question if theres Trouble? Like someone else said, your not stopping doing Housework or talking to each other, so why stop Castity?
     
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  16. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Married with Cage

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    There is sometimes tension and stress from both of us. Mostly resolved much quicker than BC. Life gets in the way and teenagers, college, school, University, work have their toll. We once had a long falling out, about a year in to our chastity lifestyle and I was uncaged for a couple of months. Before that we had a few towel in moments. Since then, it never comes up in an argument. I used to self sooth after a fight BC, but that isn't an option now.
     
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  17. Eric Ny
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    Eric Ny Active member

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    this sounds flegmatic, disciplined and very obedient on your end. Makes a lot of sense although sometimes (negative) feelings Are difficult to combine with common sense and long term view. Thx for your input.
     
  18. Eric Ny
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    Eric Ny Active member

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    many thanks for phrasing your input as only Lady so far. it is great to read that caging become the new „wedding band“! Happy couple!
     
  19. Eric Ny
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    Eric Ny Active member

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    Many thanks for your input „litlleguy3“. I really like the combination of learning / wisdom and search for spirituality in what you wrote!
     
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  20. Eric Ny
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    Eric Ny Active member

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    this sounds fantastic!
     
  21. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    It depends on the tension.

    If it is external, and really significant, she might unlock me and suspend our FLR temporarily and we fall back into our successful partnership. This is rare. It is also understood.

    If it is internal, between us, this is even more rare. Most of the issues we may have disagreed upon in the past, are no longer issues. Unlocking for this has never occurred.
     
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  22. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    When there is tension between us, I simply hate being locked. If it is external tension and my partner has a lot of this then I try and be very understanding.

    While I can not get out of it, if I happen to have access to her wand or other device its then there is a chance ill ease my own tension if i am desperate rather than blow up which probably wouldn't be good for either of us.

    If its tension where I feel I have done something wrong Ill just bear the punishment, id rather the paddle though.

    Alas right now her wands are locked in in a tool box and the key with my cage key. Even the massage gun is flat. So I hope we don't have a disagreement! Asking out would be very bad.
     
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  23. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    She gave me the keys in the middle of an argument once, and left to spend the night with her son. I wanted to unlock so badly. I was angry (I still think she was wrong, too), but something came over me (all of a sudden it felt like MY weakness, not hers, and I despite my anger I couldnt hurt hrr like that) so I didnt unlock.

    When she came back, and we hadnt even made up, I pointed out that I couldnt bring myself to unlock. She said "good, because that would have told me that you really dont love me, beyond what we are arguing about". We quickly made up and both agreed the cage should only ever come off for her pleasure or relevant medical proceedures and NEVER an argument. She has told me many times since that it is much more important to her than the ring on my finger.

    Keep in mind that that the cage was her idea, which probably explains her resolve. Still think a smart woman should leave the cage on and let her man soften up for some days, regardless of who's fettish it was.
     
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  24. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Curious how she handled your initial hesitation, reluctance, or perhaps even resistance to her order? Was she insistent? Did she threaten you with punishment? I’ve always felt that true “enforced” male chastity comes when the lady desires it even more so than the man.
     
  25. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    That’s so romantic! I admire her resolve. I’m curious to learn more about how and why she wanted to put you in chastity to begin with and how she was able to eventually get you locked up.
     
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