Hi everyone, how you all doing? I'm new on this site and to the BDSM world really. I've been interested for a couple of years, but only really been doing anything to do with it since Christmas after introducing it to my girlfriend. She's happy to do some BDSM stuff with me (as the slave, obviously!) on occasion, but really the main focus is on us growing together as a couple and growing closer as she feels it needs to be something she'd do when she feels more committed to me (as I type we've been together 9.5 months). Really I'm on here to learn more about Chastity for me, for my girlfriend/mistress in the future, and (with her permission) maybe get 2 or 3 (4 or 5 if necessary :S) weeks worth of chastity experience with someone. We're both students and see each other every few weeks, so if someone did want to help me out by being a keyholder for a few weeks, I know I shouldn't put any conditions for it, but ideally I'd be free a day or two before next seeing my girlfriend. She's happy for me to find a keyholder for a few weeks, so I can gain a bit of experience. Also, as I own my own device, if its a pain getting keys to people she said if I want to lock myself up, she can hold the key for me while someone else shows me what it's like to be serving a Mistress while locked up, even online. So, if you would like to be my keyholder for a few days/weeks, please let me know. BUT, this isn't the main reason I'm on here. The main reason is, as I said, to learn more about Chastity and chat to people with experience! Thanks for reading, if you did please say Hi back!, Sam
:welcome: to the Mansion. You have a very accepting girlfriend, good choice! You didn't say where you are in the UK (if you did, I missed it through lack of coffee!) I hope you find lots of different opinions around the boards and find something that will fit your future lifestyle
Thank you Mistress! Hehe yeah, she was the first person I told about liking this stuff and I was so happy with how well she took it as I wasn't sure if she was quite Vanilla or not at that point! But she's amazing . An absolutely amazing girlfriend even outside the BDSM world! I live in a town just outside of Peterborough. Study in Cambridge as well, so when I have to make a train journey there and back, it's not too bad . Thank you so much for the welcome, I hope to build plenty of friendships with you (seemingly pretty awesome) people!
Welcome B) to the site. This is a realy good comunity here to find lots of advice. As for the keyholder thing, I think you should ask your girlfriend to hol the key untill next time you see her and tell her this reasures that you will be faithfull to her and her only as you won't even be able to jerk of. Now having said that you allso need to have a spare incase of emergencies that you just can't get at any time so you can play with yourself. Good Luck.
Thanks for the welcome and the advice Scott . Think the thing is though that when we do get to see each other, there is more emphasis on the sexual aspect of our relationship than the...er....relationship side of the relationship. I can understand that as we spend the majority of time together in each other's rooms doing sexual things. I think if I asked her to do that it would be (to her) like saying our relationship is mainly a sexual one (even if I'm saying she has control over me!) and we really want to focus on the relational side of it so we're not (to use her phrase) "like horny animals". I appreciate what you say about being faithful as well. The main reason I'm on here is to find out more about the Chastity lifestyle, hear people's stories etc.. The finding a keyholder for a week or two or three is really a "if it happens it happens" sort of thing. Really atm it's kind of saying I'm interested, but it's not vital. Really I just want to find people to chat to about this sort of stuff, make friends etc. .
If that is the case, how about you try locking yourself just before you go see her? Then you could focus on your relationship without sex! And if she does want, you can still please her. Just an idea!
I did think about that actually. But I can just imagine her hand going down there and being like "what the hell?" often she likes to please me as much she likes me to please her. A few weeks ago she tossed me off about 3 times in a hour and said "I just can't keep my hands off your cock!". So I think it is a when SHE's ready, we will kind of thing . I think also she thinks we both need to be self disciplined. Like, for her me having to be in a device to stop me and her doing sexual stuff is a bit extreme. If it was for her to be in total control then its fine, but as a way to stop us, I think she'd feel almost like we'd been neutered or something! :S
You've had some great advice so far, and good on you for giving the advisors feedback... it's a great way to bounce ideas back and forth.
Thanks Mistress. Think its a habit I've developed from time on another forum, but that is more banter-based than seeking advice!
RFS, I missed it, or perhaps it's in another thread. Do you own a device now? Have you practiced wearing it much? I think a critical first step is to simply get used to wearing a device. For some people, it literally takes years to find one that they can wear for a few weeks without having a key close to hand. mikecb
Hi Mike, Yeah I do have a device. Arrive in the post on Tuesday. Wore it for an hour on Tuesday and 2 hours on Wednesday. Will be trying a 24 hour stint this week.
To update anyone that may be interested....I'm attaching my device after dinner tonight then spending the night locked. Not doing a 24hour period just yet, think I need to try a couple of nights in the device first .