What do you KHs do to make your man more submissive

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BKwife, Oct 29, 2021.

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  1. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    You get it. Simple as that. You are a VERY special woman. In short order, the time you spend training, will shift to him spending time serving.
     
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  2. stevie stevens
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    I am intrigued by the shocker. That sounds like the ultimate in a woman's dominance, even more than a good whipping.
     
  3. seasoned
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    seasoned Long term member

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    OMG, according to the chart I should have stopped having orgasms about 30 years ago but I've just had 10 in one week:eek:
     
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  4. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    10 in a week, You naughty boy LOL
     
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  5. Lisa43
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    Lisa43 Long term member

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    78 years - still enjoy little climax with help of TENS in stainless steel Nub
     
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  6. Lisa43
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    Lisa43 Long term member

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    78 years - still enjoy little climax with the help of TENS while in stainless steel Nub
     
  7. seasoned
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    seasoned Long term member

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    I put myself in chastity for one month and having no mistress, decided that I should have a reward. I admit I went a bit overboard and worse, I confessed on Chastity Mansion; I'm hoping my lapse will not result in loss of membership. I'll start another month today, promise:lockkey:
     
  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i dont think it will really cos i have read bout lots and lots and lots of men on here and they always making mess and they spose to be in chastity as well really. and they not lost membeship
     
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  9. seasoned
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    Thanks a lot precious jems, your approval means a lot to me (or should I say absence of condemnation).
     
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  10. Secret Pantie Boy
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    Secret Pantie Boy New member

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    This is also something which turns me on, but not sexually. I get a great satisfaction from pleasing my partner. Taking the previously female role of providing domestically for my partner is where I wish to be. I would be even happier to extend this to taking the submissive role sexually. Ensuring my look and actions sexually stimulate my partmer into wanting to use me for their sexual satisfaction. I would like my partner to feel that they have the freedom to socialise with friends, go for a drink after work while I ensure that they come home to a meal, a clean house and a partner willing to meet their needs.
     
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  11. MistressAMA
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    I appreciate your question and realize the struggle. We have been in an FLR for about 15years with varying levels of service. My spouse isna servant sub and works very hard to please me. Starting slow and adding more jobs as we go was very valuable. I no longer do laundry, clean, or do dishes and more than anything I am honored, loved, and get all the sex I want. He also keeps a running list of all his daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly tasks.
     
  12. bsteve
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    bsteve Junior Member

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    Actually, you should be careful. Here is the problem:

    A submissive wants to be submissive to someone. If he is not submissive to someone, he is independent.

    When, for example, I clean a bathroom, I get no enjoyment out of it, beyond having a clean bathroom. I just do it because it needs to get done. However, if I know,that I am doing it for my wife, then it makes it much more meaningful. If she doesn't ask for it, or thanks me for it, or criticizes it, or acknowledges it, cleaning the bathroom was just for me, and not her.

    Ignoring what your husbamd does makes it seem that he just does it for himself instead of for you. It doesnt really advance the FLR. Worse, it doesn't make him more submissive, which is what you said you are looking for.

    You do not need to be, or actually, shouldn't be, thankful, but you do need to make it clear that he is doing it for you to make you happy. Whether it is thanking him, criticizing him for doing it too slowly or not good enough, or punishing him for it, or somehow acknowledging it somehow, is secondary.
     
  13. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    I suggest that you learn as much as possible about your sub, his secrets (we all have them!) and generally what makes him tick. Once you feel that you have this complete, think about ways that you might leverage his vulnerability. All guys are vulnerable in some way, I think.

    For example, when my then wife caught me wearing panties and I confessed my secret lingerie fetish, she kept digging and had me tell her about my varied experiences, my stash of lingerie and nearly getting caught. She asked if I wore panties at the same time that I was such a harsh boss of an office full of women. (Of course, I had!) Then She snapped a picture of me in my pink panties and had me address a confession letter to several women that I bossed around in my former job. I had to do that based on Her threat to tell all of our family and friends about my secret. We had many intense discussions about this, many of them ending up with me in tears.

    She never did drop a single one of those letters in the mailbox and I was provided the opportunity to "earn" them back, over time, as She began to feminize me. By that time, She knew well that I loved that and would do almost anything to please Her. Only after several years did She introduce the cage. Once She saw how much humiliation affects me, She has found more and more ways to potentially embarrass and to humiliate me. She holds those powers over me!

    You see, She learned my most personal secrets and, while discussing them in depth with me, developed a way of exploiting those secrets to achieve my absolute submission. Some might call that blackmail, but I had the opportunity to leave whenever I wanted. We now have the most intense and open and honest communications that we've ever had in our 37 years of marriage.
     
  14. valesk25
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    valesk25 Active member

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    Words and phrases used are important.

    My Mistress exploits her knowledge of my secrets too. Instead, she simply calls it her insurance policy. I'm free to do whatever I want , when I want -She just gently reminds me of her 'insurance policy'. This is often followed by much lip service by me. To which I always say 'Ive no choice but to obey you' to which she says ' you don't have to obey, just be aware of the consequences' .
     
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  15. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    Nothing will make me more submissive, but I can be made more compliant.
     
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  16. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i have always be submisive and im compiment as well
     
  17. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    I was that way until I began trying to return to submission by doing things like staying dressed, bound and tortured after the orgasm until at least partially submissive or at least more docile and compliant. Then i would be either freed, or later on, played with some more to increase those feelings. It didnt take very long before i returned quickly and sometimes even stay outright submissive with no real drop.

    I didnt like the sub-drop feeling or what it did to my partner and her confidence in our dynamic. So I was well motivated to change.
    Believe me, I used to want to tear the clothes off after an O, now I just say "this is who I am".



    .
     
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  18. Ymmxqueen
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    I told my slave to jump the other day, he did and then asked how high, this really amused me.

    What makes my slave more submissive?

    when i make my slave wear sissy clothes
    When I make my sissy curtsey, wiggle their bottom or bow to me
    A side eye when out and they're acting up
    When given strict orders to do something
    Threats of taking cleanings and playtime away.

    My slave has been locked now for about 4 months without cleanings from me, this is a punishment because he had naughty images on his computer. I'm now finding more power in chastity and seeing so many benefits of having him be my chaste sissy sub.

    Today in a restaurant, I dropped my spoon on the floor, I quickly ordered him to pick it up and clean it with his mouth. He didn't argue, just smiled and did so.
     
  19. slave_m
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    slave_m Long term member

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    Wowwwww, you know how to humiliate him and show him his place.
     
  20. BKwife
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    And it’s INSTANT & ABRUPT CORRECTION!
     
  21. BKwife
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    Yep, you are exactly right.
     
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  22. valesk25
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    valesk25 Active member

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    This sounds wonderful to me.

    May I ask why your sub complies with your wishes.

    My experience is that the sub either

    a) willingly does this because he wants to demonstrate his submission this Queen/Mistress
    b) is forced to comply with his Queens/Mistress needs because of the hold the Mistres ha s over her sub ( pictures in my case)
    c) in the case of being forced to comply my sexual need for humiliation and almost blackmail is fulfilled and I yearn to impress my Mistress more with my compliance with her wishes and orders/commands.

    Keen to get your viewpoint.
     
  23. Tamed Male
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    Tamed Male Active member

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    Your husband is very lucky!

    I can share some of the things my wife did with me. She initiated our FLR and had spent a lot of time thinking about how to make it real before I ever met her.

    Firstly, we had a written agreement that all came from her. We wrote it together, but my role was only to help her get it written down in a way that was clear to both of us. It wasn’t like a chastity contract listing chores and punishments etc. It didn’t even mention anything kinky. It was written as a set of promises we were each making to one another.

    Most fundamental was that I promised not to share my thoughts/opinions or anything really without her permission, and that when I did, I would always satisfy her that I understood her point of view and what she wanted before expressing my own. I promised not to even subtly imply that she was wrong, negotiate (which would have implied a right to withhold things from her), or defend myself. If I had literal facts that contradicted hers, I would always ask for explicit permission to share them.

    Her promises were to make it clear when I was allowed to share and when not, not hold back her fierceness, and to not let even small violations pass without correction. It’s worth noting that ‘correction’ didn’t mean play punishments etc. For minor things it generally meant being interrupted, warned not to continue, and expected to apologize and show that I understood.

    There was a lot more in the agreement, which was several pages long, but the part about communication made it impossible for me to top from the bottom without breaking a promise I had made to her.

    My experience of this was that it started out being a lot of fun for both of us that I had to work hard to communicate in a way that pleased her. She loved it when I behaved as promised, and had fun being able to catch me out. As I got better at it, she didn’t ease up on correcting me, in fact she became steadily more serious and less forgiving of violations and I would feel horribly ashamed if I addressed her in a way she considered inappropriate.

    Only after we got to this point did she start to focus on other things I had promised her around service and attention to her needs.

    Chastity wasn’t involved in the power dynamic directly, except that by not being allowed to cum, I was in a place where I craved her attention and made it possible for her to lead me where she wanted me to go.

    One thing my wife was clear about was that the power itself was a turn on and made her happy.

    I think for an FLR to work, the woman has to feel good about having power in a way that is about him meeting her needs and not her meeting his needs to be dominated. There is no way for this not to be challenging for the man, and so he won’t be able to stop himself trying to top from the bottom. That’s not a bad thing because the alternative would be that he performs submission as a way to manipulate you.

    Either way, he needs to know that you are serious and that neither of these are acceptable. My wife had come to accept that she was angry and disgusted by male attempts to manipulate her, having dealt with them her whole life. If you can tap into that feeling I think you’ll both get what you need!
     
  24. Ymmxqueen
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    I think more A than anything.
     
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  25. BKwife
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    I applaud your wife! Sounds like she’s figured out a way to assure her husband treats her with the respect she wants and deserves, i struggle with that one. This can definitely be a fulfilling and fun way of life❤️
     
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